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NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
KELLY IS AWESOME
I have a terrible and completely rational fear of corn, peas, blueberries, and any other small things that pop in your mouth. I actually AM going to Amsterdam next week. And then a bunch of other places.NEW ZEALAND
Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
HOW TO KILL A CHICKEN IN 13 HORRIFYING STEPS STEP 4: DRAIN THE BLOOD. Get your shit together and kneel down with the chicken and then grab your super sharp knife and cut it’s throat. Warning: You will get blood all the fuck over you, and it will be warm and gooey and probably a little clotty. STEP 5: DUNK THECHICKEN.
MOUNTAINS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recap Recap Mo Mepap. by Kelly | Mar 25, 2016 | New Zealand | 6 comments. Okay, so I’ve been really busy doing fun stuff*, and I haven’t had time to write any of it down. Every night I lay down in my cozy little campervan and say to myself, “Write, Kelly!” and then I fall asleep because this HOSTEL | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
ANOTHER THING I’M TERRIBLE AT Over a chicken. Now, most of you know me, but if you don’t, I have to say this: I am not fucking delicate. I’m a little scrawny, sure, but I can definitely handle some shit. Slaughtering a chicken is not something I’m gonna get all freaked out about. Except I keep thinking about how I killed something. BUGS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. by Kelly | Feb 2, 2018 | Vietnam | 7 comments. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I arrived.
GERMANY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY The Princess and The Huge Sausage. by Kelly | Aug 16, 2014 | Europe | 8 comments. I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alonehere.
TEXAS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Everything sucks. Look: WHAT THE F*CK. I rented this awesome place for the next 5 days: And I was gonna do this: And sit out here: But nope. I get this: (Did you know this existed, by the way? It’s TEN HOURS LONG!) The rain would be cool if I was cuddledNO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
KELLY IS AWESOME
I have a terrible and completely rational fear of corn, peas, blueberries, and any other small things that pop in your mouth. I actually AM going to Amsterdam next week. And then a bunch of other places.NEW ZEALAND
Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
HOW TO KILL A CHICKEN IN 13 HORRIFYING STEPS STEP 4: DRAIN THE BLOOD. Get your shit together and kneel down with the chicken and then grab your super sharp knife and cut it’s throat. Warning: You will get blood all the fuck over you, and it will be warm and gooey and probably a little clotty. STEP 5: DUNK THECHICKEN.
MOUNTAINS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recap Recap Mo Mepap. by Kelly | Mar 25, 2016 | New Zealand | 6 comments. Okay, so I’ve been really busy doing fun stuff*, and I haven’t had time to write any of it down. Every night I lay down in my cozy little campervan and say to myself, “Write, Kelly!” and then I fall asleep because this HOSTEL | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
ANOTHER THING I’M TERRIBLE AT Over a chicken. Now, most of you know me, but if you don’t, I have to say this: I am not fucking delicate. I’m a little scrawny, sure, but I can definitely handle some shit. Slaughtering a chicken is not something I’m gonna get all freaked out about. Except I keep thinking about how I killed something. BUGS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. by Kelly | Feb 2, 2018 | Vietnam | 7 comments. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I arrived.
GERMANY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY The Princess and The Huge Sausage. by Kelly | Aug 16, 2014 | Europe | 8 comments. I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alonehere.
TEXAS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Everything sucks. Look: WHAT THE F*CK. I rented this awesome place for the next 5 days: And I was gonna do this: And sit out here: But nope. I get this: (Did you know this existed, by the way? It’s TEN HOURS LONG!) The rain would be cool if I was cuddled THIS MIGHT BE THE GROSSEST STORY YOU’VE EVER HEARD On my clothes, which were way over on the other side of the room. On the monkey, who doesn’t even exist. On the backs of my eyelids, right here when I close my eyes, all the time, for the rest of my life. I stand there, frozen, in complete, bloody shock. I look at thedoor.
FOOD | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
GERMANY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY The Princess and The Huge Sausage. by Kelly | Aug 16, 2014 | Europe | 8 comments. I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alonehere.
AUSCHWITZ. | NO STRANGERS, I SAY “Auschwitz” was made up of two camps: Auschwitz I and Auschwitz II (Birkenau). This first set of photos is from Auschwitz I. WEATHER | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
CIGARETTES | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Dresden: I mean, I bought a dress there. by Kelly | Aug 18, 2014 | Europe | 4 comments. So my buddy Rozz told me to go to Dresden (hey Rozz). She’s also the one who told me to hook up with Mario and Logan in Berlin (hey y’all), so I’m thinking Dresden is a WORKAWAY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
TEXAS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Everything sucks. Look: WHAT THE F*CK. I rented this awesome place for the next 5 days: And I was gonna do this: And sit out here: But nope. I get this: (Did you know this existed, by the way? It’s TEN HOURS LONG!) The rain would be cool if I was cuddled BIKES | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My THINGS I WANT TO SAY TO THAT COUPLE I HUNG OUT WITH FOR A Hey, Laura* and Mason* who I met in Thailand and hung out with for a while. *I changed your names even though your real names are very close to these fake names and also I tagged you on facebook when Iposted this.
NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
KELLY IS AWESOME
I have a terrible and completely rational fear of corn, peas, blueberries, and any other small things that pop in your mouth. I actually AM going to Amsterdam next week. And then a bunch of other places. EUROPE | NO STRANGERS, I SAY This might be the grossest story you’ve ever heard. by Kelly | Sep 28, 2017 | Europe, Thailand | 6 comments. I’m back in Bangkok, finally, after 32 hours of traveling, at least 3 of which were spent in various bathrooms trying to dig a piece of plastic out of myvagina.
HOW TO KILL A CHICKEN IN 13 HORRIFYING STEPS STEP 4: DRAIN THE BLOOD. Get your shit together and kneel down with the chicken and then grab your super sharp knife and cut it’s throat. Warning: You will get blood all the fuck over you, and it will be warm and gooey and probably a little clotty. STEP 5: DUNK THECHICKEN.
WORK | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
NEW ZEALAND
Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
HOSTEL | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
CHEERS! TO DEATH AND STUFF! I just shared a bottle of wine with a German guy and a Spanish girl and it was the best and I just want to say that TRAVELING IS SO GREAT and PEOPLE ARE SO GREAT and I WISH YOU WERE ALL HERE TO SHARE A BOTTLE OF WINE WITH ME IN THAILAND because a) that would just be fun and b) a bottle of wine in Thailand costs like $30, even the shitty stuff, and it would be great to split the bill. NEW YORK | NO STRANGERS, I SAY ACK. by Kelly | Sep 14, 2014 | New York | 5 comments. Just saw my first cockroach since I’ve been back. I knew it would happen eventually. Was hoping that sinceNO STRANGERS, I SAY
Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to do before I arrived.NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
KELLY IS AWESOME
I have a terrible and completely rational fear of corn, peas, blueberries, and any other small things that pop in your mouth. I actually AM going to Amsterdam next week. And then a bunch of other places. EUROPE | NO STRANGERS, I SAY This might be the grossest story you’ve ever heard. by Kelly | Sep 28, 2017 | Europe, Thailand | 6 comments. I’m back in Bangkok, finally, after 32 hours of traveling, at least 3 of which were spent in various bathrooms trying to dig a piece of plastic out of myvagina.
HOW TO KILL A CHICKEN IN 13 HORRIFYING STEPS STEP 4: DRAIN THE BLOOD. Get your shit together and kneel down with the chicken and then grab your super sharp knife and cut it’s throat. Warning: You will get blood all the fuck over you, and it will be warm and gooey and probably a little clotty. STEP 5: DUNK THECHICKEN.
WORK | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
NEW ZEALAND
Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
HOSTEL | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
CHEERS! TO DEATH AND STUFF! I just shared a bottle of wine with a German guy and a Spanish girl and it was the best and I just want to say that TRAVELING IS SO GREAT and PEOPLE ARE SO GREAT and I WISH YOU WERE ALL HERE TO SHARE A BOTTLE OF WINE WITH ME IN THAILAND because a) that would just be fun and b) a bottle of wine in Thailand costs like $30, even the shitty stuff, and it would be great to split the bill. NEW YORK | NO STRANGERS, I SAY ACK. by Kelly | Sep 14, 2014 | New York | 5 comments. Just saw my first cockroach since I’ve been back. I knew it would happen eventually. Was hoping that sinceNO STRANGERS, I SAY
Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to do before I arrived. AUSCHWITZ. | NO STRANGERS, I SAY “Auschwitz” was made up of two camps: Auschwitz I and Auschwitz II (Birkenau). This first set of photos is from Auschwitz I. THIS MIGHT BE THE GROSSEST STORY YOU’VE EVER HEARD On my clothes, which were way over on the other side of the room. On the monkey, who doesn’t even exist. On the backs of my eyelids, right here when I close my eyes, all the time, for the rest of my life. I stand there, frozen, in complete, bloody shock. I look at thedoor.
MOUNTAINS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recap Recap Mo Mepap. by Kelly | Mar 25, 2016 | New Zealand | 6 comments. Okay, so I’ve been really busy doing fun stuff*, and I haven’t had time to write any of it down. Every night I lay down in my cozy little campervan and say to myself, “Write, Kelly!” and then I fall asleep because this CIGARETTES | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Dresden: I mean, I bought a dress there. by Kelly | Aug 18, 2014 | Europe | 4 comments. So my buddy Rozz told me to go to Dresden (hey Rozz). She’s also the one who told me to hook up with Mario and Logan in Berlin (hey y’all), so I’m thinking Dresden is a GERMANY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY The Princess and The Huge Sausage. by Kelly | Aug 16, 2014 | Europe | 8 comments. I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alonehere.
WEATHER | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
NEW YORK | NO STRANGERS, I SAY ACK. by Kelly | Sep 14, 2014 | New York | 5 comments. Just saw my first cockroach since I’ve been back. I knew it would happen eventually. Was hoping that since CHEERS! TO DEATH AND STUFF! I just shared a bottle of wine with a German guy and a Spanish girl and it was the best and I just want to say that TRAVELING IS SO GREAT and PEOPLE ARE SO GREAT and I WISH YOU WERE ALL HERE TO SHARE A BOTTLE OF WINE WITH ME IN THAILAND because a) that would just be fun and b) a bottle of wine in Thailand costs like $30, even the shitty stuff, and it would be great to split the bill. BUGS AND ORGASMS: A TALE OF COMPROMISE Thanks for involving me in your pervy, incesty talk. YOU SHOULDA STAYED WITH THE BUGS. Now everyone is going to think Santa is a real perv. Although looking back at some of my replies, people may have already gotten that idea. POOP | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
KELLY IS AWESOME
I have a terrible and completely rational fear of corn, peas, blueberries, and any other small things that pop in your mouth. I actually AM going to Amsterdam next week. And then a bunch of other places. HOW TO KILL A CHICKEN IN 13 HORRIFYING STEPS STEP 4: DRAIN THE BLOOD. Get your shit together and kneel down with the chicken and then grab your super sharp knife and cut it’s throat. Warning: You will get blood all the fuck over you, and it will be warm and gooey and probably a little clotty. STEP 5: DUNK THECHICKEN.
NEW ZEALAND
Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
MOUNTAINS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recap Recap Mo Mepap. by Kelly | Mar 25, 2016 | New Zealand | 6 comments. Okay, so I’ve been really busy doing fun stuff*, and I haven’t had time to write any of it down. Every night I lay down in my cozy little campervan and say to myself, “Write, Kelly!” and then I fall asleep because this THAILAND | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My ANOTHER THING I’M TERRIBLE AT Over a chicken. Now, most of you know me, but if you don’t, I have to say this: I am not fucking delicate. I’m a little scrawny, sure, but I can definitely handle some shit. Slaughtering a chicken is not something I’m gonna get all freaked out about. Except I keep thinking about how I killed something. HOSTEL | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
TEXAS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Everything sucks. Look: WHAT THE F*CK. I rented this awesome place for the next 5 days: And I was gonna do this: And sit out here: But nope. I get this: (Did you know this existed, by the way? It’s TEN HOURS LONG!) The rain would be cool if I was cuddled BUGS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. by Kelly | Feb 2, 2018 | Vietnam | 7 comments. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I arrived.
NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
KELLY IS AWESOME
I have a terrible and completely rational fear of corn, peas, blueberries, and any other small things that pop in your mouth. I actually AM going to Amsterdam next week. And then a bunch of other places. HOW TO KILL A CHICKEN IN 13 HORRIFYING STEPS STEP 4: DRAIN THE BLOOD. Get your shit together and kneel down with the chicken and then grab your super sharp knife and cut it’s throat. Warning: You will get blood all the fuck over you, and it will be warm and gooey and probably a little clotty. STEP 5: DUNK THECHICKEN.
NEW ZEALAND
Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
MOUNTAINS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recap Recap Mo Mepap. by Kelly | Mar 25, 2016 | New Zealand | 6 comments. Okay, so I’ve been really busy doing fun stuff*, and I haven’t had time to write any of it down. Every night I lay down in my cozy little campervan and say to myself, “Write, Kelly!” and then I fall asleep because this THAILAND | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My ANOTHER THING I’M TERRIBLE AT Over a chicken. Now, most of you know me, but if you don’t, I have to say this: I am not fucking delicate. I’m a little scrawny, sure, but I can definitely handle some shit. Slaughtering a chicken is not something I’m gonna get all freaked out about. Except I keep thinking about how I killed something. HOSTEL | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
TEXAS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Everything sucks. Look: WHAT THE F*CK. I rented this awesome place for the next 5 days: And I was gonna do this: And sit out here: But nope. I get this: (Did you know this existed, by the way? It’s TEN HOURS LONG!) The rain would be cool if I was cuddled BUGS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. by Kelly | Feb 2, 2018 | Vietnam | 7 comments. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I arrived.
THIS MIGHT BE THE GROSSEST STORY YOU’VE EVER HEARD On my clothes, which were way over on the other side of the room. On the monkey, who doesn’t even exist. On the backs of my eyelids, right here when I close my eyes, all the time, for the rest of my life. I stand there, frozen, in complete, bloody shock. I look at thedoor.
GERMANY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY The Princess and The Huge Sausage. by Kelly | Aug 16, 2014 | Europe | 8 comments. I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alonehere.
WORK | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
THAILAND | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My WEATHER | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
CIGARETTES | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Dresden: I mean, I bought a dress there. by Kelly | Aug 18, 2014 | Europe | 4 comments. So my buddy Rozz told me to go to Dresden (hey Rozz). She’s also the one who told me to hook up with Mario and Logan in Berlin (hey y’all), so I’m thinking Dresden is a CHEERS! TO DEATH AND STUFF! I just shared a bottle of wine with a German guy and a Spanish girl and it was the best and I just want to say that TRAVELING IS SO GREAT and PEOPLE ARE SO GREAT and I WISH YOU WERE ALL HERE TO SHARE A BOTTLE OF WINE WITH ME IN THAILAND because a) that would just be fun and b) a bottle of wine in Thailand costs like $30, even the shitty stuff, and it would be great to split the bill. LESSONS FROM A BUTT HOSE. So as most of you know, my last post was this really angry rant about Orlando, which (maybe some of you know) was followed by a couple of healthy* debates about gun control on my facebook page. *I’m saying “healthy” because I don’t want to offend or alienate those with whom I was debating, but the phrase I really want to use is “completely idiotic and infuriating.” THINGS I WANT TO SAY TO THAT COUPLE I HUNG OUT WITH FOR A Hey, Laura* and Mason* who I met in Thailand and hung out with for a while. *I changed your names even though your real names are very close to these fake names and also I tagged you on facebook when Iposted this.
NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to do before I arrived.NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
KELLY IS AWESOME
I have a terrible and completely rational fear of corn, peas, blueberries, and any other small things that pop in your mouth. I actually AM going to Amsterdam next week. And then a bunch of other places.NEW ZEALAND
Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
THIS MIGHT BE THE GROSSEST STORY YOU’VE EVER HEARD On my clothes, which were way over on the other side of the room. On the monkey, who doesn’t even exist. On the backs of my eyelids, right here when I close my eyes, all the time, for the rest of my life. I stand there, frozen, in complete, bloody shock. I look at thedoor.
NEW YORK | NO STRANGERS, I SAY ACK. by Kelly | Sep 14, 2014 | New York | 5 comments. Just saw my first cockroach since I’ve been back. I knew it would happen eventually. Was hoping that since WEATHER | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
WORKAWAY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
HOSTEL | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
GERMANY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY The Princess and The Huge Sausage. by Kelly | Aug 16, 2014 | Europe | 8 comments. I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alonehere.
BUGS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. by Kelly | Feb 2, 2018 | Vietnam | 7 comments. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I arrived.
NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
KELLY IS AWESOME
I have a terrible and completely rational fear of corn, peas, blueberries, and any other small things that pop in your mouth. I actually AM going to Amsterdam next week. And then a bunch of other places.NEW ZEALAND
Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
THIS MIGHT BE THE GROSSEST STORY YOU’VE EVER HEARD On my clothes, which were way over on the other side of the room. On the monkey, who doesn’t even exist. On the backs of my eyelids, right here when I close my eyes, all the time, for the rest of my life. I stand there, frozen, in complete, bloody shock. I look at thedoor.
NEW YORK | NO STRANGERS, I SAY ACK. by Kelly | Sep 14, 2014 | New York | 5 comments. Just saw my first cockroach since I’ve been back. I knew it would happen eventually. Was hoping that since WEATHER | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
WORKAWAY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
HOSTEL | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
GERMANY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY The Princess and The Huge Sausage. by Kelly | Aug 16, 2014 | Europe | 8 comments. I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alonehere.
BUGS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. by Kelly | Feb 2, 2018 | Vietnam | 7 comments. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I arrived.
NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
HOW TO KILL A CHICKEN IN 13 HORRIFYING STEPS *If at all possible, listen to this while you’re reading – it really captures the vibe I’m going for. But turn it down low so you don’t get distracted from my glorious writing (or get fired from your job for listening to songs with the n-word at the office).Alternatively, you can opt for the karaoke version, which isn’t spectacular, but will be made far better if you imagine the MOUNTAINS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recap Recap Mo Mepap. by Kelly | Mar 25, 2016 | New Zealand | 6 comments. Okay, so I’ve been really busy doing fun stuff*, and I haven’t had time to write any of it down. Every night I lay down in my cozy little campervan and say to myself, “Write, Kelly!” and then I fall asleep because this THAILAND | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My KIDS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My OSTRAU | NO STRANGERS, I SAY The Princess and The Huge Sausage. by Kelly | Aug 16, 2014 | Europe | 8 comments. I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alonehere.
CORN | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
TEXAS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Everything sucks. Look: WHAT THE F*CK. I rented this awesome place for the next 5 days: And I was gonna do this: And sit out here: But nope. I get this: (Did you know this existed, by the way? It’s TEN HOURS LONG!) The rain would be cool if I was cuddled ANOTHER THING I’M TERRIBLE AT You guys remember how I said I wanted to stab the dog?I didn’t, you’ll be happy to know. But she did end up with blood all over her face. See I was slaughtering this chicken and after we cut the head off, the dog was trying to catch all the bits that fell on the ground and the little jerk just stuck her head under the neck (or as I like to call it, “the blood faucet”) and gave herselfNO STRANGERS, I SAY
Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to do before I arrived.NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
KELLY IS AWESOME
I have a terrible and completely rational fear of corn, peas, blueberries, and any other small things that pop in your mouth. I actually AM going to Amsterdam next week. And then a bunch of other places.NEW ZEALAND
Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
THIS MIGHT BE THE GROSSEST STORY YOU’VE EVER HEARD On my clothes, which were way over on the other side of the room. On the monkey, who doesn’t even exist. On the backs of my eyelids, right here when I close my eyes, all the time, for the rest of my life. I stand there, frozen, in complete, bloody shock. I look at thedoor.
NEW YORK | NO STRANGERS, I SAY ACK. by Kelly | Sep 14, 2014 | New York | 5 comments. Just saw my first cockroach since I’ve been back. I knew it would happen eventually. Was hoping that since WEATHER | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
WORKAWAY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
HOSTEL | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
GERMANY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY The Princess and The Huge Sausage. by Kelly | Aug 16, 2014 | Europe | 8 comments. I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alonehere.
BUGS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. by Kelly | Feb 2, 2018 | Vietnam | 7 comments. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I arrived.
NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
KELLY IS AWESOME
I have a terrible and completely rational fear of corn, peas, blueberries, and any other small things that pop in your mouth. I actually AM going to Amsterdam next week. And then a bunch of other places.NEW ZEALAND
Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
THIS MIGHT BE THE GROSSEST STORY YOU’VE EVER HEARD On my clothes, which were way over on the other side of the room. On the monkey, who doesn’t even exist. On the backs of my eyelids, right here when I close my eyes, all the time, for the rest of my life. I stand there, frozen, in complete, bloody shock. I look at thedoor.
NEW YORK | NO STRANGERS, I SAY ACK. by Kelly | Sep 14, 2014 | New York | 5 comments. Just saw my first cockroach since I’ve been back. I knew it would happen eventually. Was hoping that since WEATHER | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
WORKAWAY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
HOSTEL | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
GERMANY | NO STRANGERS, I SAY The Princess and The Huge Sausage. by Kelly | Aug 16, 2014 | Europe | 8 comments. I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alonehere.
BUGS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. by Kelly | Feb 2, 2018 | Vietnam | 7 comments. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I arrived.
NO STRANGERS, I SAY
Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow. Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to dobefore I
HOW TO KILL A CHICKEN IN 13 HORRIFYING STEPS *If at all possible, listen to this while you’re reading – it really captures the vibe I’m going for. But turn it down low so you don’t get distracted from my glorious writing (or get fired from your job for listening to songs with the n-word at the office).Alternatively, you can opt for the karaoke version, which isn’t spectacular, but will be made far better if you imagine the MOUNTAINS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recap Recap Mo Mepap. by Kelly | Mar 25, 2016 | New Zealand | 6 comments. Okay, so I’ve been really busy doing fun stuff*, and I haven’t had time to write any of it down. Every night I lay down in my cozy little campervan and say to myself, “Write, Kelly!” and then I fall asleep because this THAILAND | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My KIDS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My OSTRAU | NO STRANGERS, I SAY The Princess and The Huge Sausage. by Kelly | Aug 16, 2014 | Europe | 8 comments. I have to tell you about this other thing I did that I’m real proud of. It doesn’t seem that interesting when I think about how to relay it, but I have to tell someone and I’m aaaall alonehere.
CORN | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Recent Crap. Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow; Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a few weeks in Thailand; Loi Krathong and My Friend Neil: The Worst and Also SortofThe Best
TEXAS | NO STRANGERS, I SAY Everything sucks. Look: WHAT THE F*CK. I rented this awesome place for the next 5 days: And I was gonna do this: And sit out here: But nope. I get this: (Did you know this existed, by the way? It’s TEN HOURS LONG!) The rain would be cool if I was cuddled ANOTHER THING I’M TERRIBLE AT You guys remember how I said I wanted to stab the dog?I didn’t, you’ll be happy to know. But she did end up with blood all over her face. See I was slaughtering this chicken and after we cut the head off, the dog was trying to catch all the bits that fell on the ground and the little jerk just stuck her head under the neck (or as I like to call it, “the blood faucet”) and gave herselfNO STRANGERS, I SAY
Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to do before I arrived.* Kelly is Awesome
FINGERS CROSSED I STILL HAVE A FACE TOMORROW by Kelly | Feb 2, 2018 |Vietnam
Got woken up at 6am this morning by a man hacking the shit out of a tree, a woman screaming at him in Vietnamese, and these assholes: The man, I assume, was chopping wood to finish the walls of my bungalow, which he clearly forgot to do before I arrived. And I guess... THINGS I WANT TO SAY TO THAT COUPLE I HUNG OUT WITH FOR A FEW WEEKS INTHAILAND
by Kelly | Jan 21, 2018 |Thailand
Hey, Laura* and Mason* who I met in Thailand and hung out with for a while. *I changed your names even though your real names are very close to these fake names and also I tagged you on facebook when I posted this. And included a photo of you. Here are the things I... CHEERS! TO DEATH AND STUFF! by Kelly | Oct 27, 2017 |Thailand
I just shared a bottle of wine with a German guy and a Spanish girl and it was the best and I just want to say that TRAVELING IS SO GREAT and PEOPLE ARE SO GREAT and I WISH YOU WERE ALL HERE TO SHARE A BOTTLE OF WINE WITH ME IN THAILAND because a) that would just be... MAYBE IF WE’D HAD ONESIES… by Kelly | Sep 6, 2016 |New Zealand , Texas
When you’re drawing on a 15-year-old’s wall, you have to be careful to not draw any penises. It’s harder to do than you'd think. Anytime I’m drawing on a wall, there is always a penis involved, because that shit is hilarious. (I'm also very, very good atdrawing...
BUGS AND ORGASMS: A TALE OF COMPROMISE by Kelly | Jul 27, 2016 |Thailand
So you guys remember that time I was in Germany and I ate a tomato? Well, I’m about to top it. Are you ready? I KNOW, THIS SHIT IS CRAZY, RIGHT? It was stuck in the middle of this awesome eggs benedict I got for breakfast, and (I can’t believe I’m about to saythis)...
LESSONS FROM A BUTT HOSE. by Kelly | Jun 28, 2016 |Thailand
So as most of you know, my last post was this really angry rant about Orlando, which (maybe some of you know) was followed by a couple of healthy* debates about gun control on my facebook page. *I’m saying “healthy” because I don’t want to offend or alienate... LOI KRATHONG AND MY FRIEND NEIL: THE WORST AND ALSO SORTOF THE BEST by Kelly | Nov 7, 2017 |Thailand
WARNING: DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO SEE HOW LONG THIS POST IS. IT'S KINDA LONG, I'M NOT GONNA LIE, BUT I SWEAR IT'S (PROBABLY) TOTALLY WORTH IT, AND IF YOU SCROLL DOWN, YOU'LL RUIN EVERYTHING AND HAVE BAD KARMA FOREVER (I'M GUESSING) (WHY RISK IT) (PLEASE JUST DO WHAT I... THIS MIGHT BE THE GROSSEST STORY YOU’VE EVER HEARD by Kelly | Sep 28, 2017 |Europe , Thailand
I’m back in Bangkok, finally, after 32 hours of traveling, at least 3 of which were spent in various bathrooms trying to dig a piece of plastic out of my vagina. WELCOME BACK, Y'ALL! This isn’t how this trip was supposed to start, obviously… me, explaining to a... BUTTER MY BUTT AND CALL ME A BISCUIT by Kelly | Aug 11, 2016 |Texas
If you're following me on Facebook or Instagram, you know I'm in Texas right now. If you're not following me, I will pause while you go do that. Because a) I need lots of attention on social media to make me feel good about myself, and b) just fucking do it,...REGARDING CHODES
by Kelly | Jun 30, 2016 |Random Crap
So I was very near publishing a new post about accidental testicle consumption, but then my new friend Julian commented on one of my old posts and I felt like you might all benefit from a response to his question........ ------------ Apparently there’s some... LET’S NOT GIVE UP ANYMORE. by Kelly | Jun 13, 2016 |Uncategorized
I’ve been traveling for four months now. I haven’t seen all of the world – so far, just a few small pockets – but I have met tons and tons of people, most of whom are not Americans. I've learned so much about how we are perceived in the world. It's been...Older Entries
DON’T TELL ANY CRAZY PEOPLE… (Except sometimes I pretend I'm still in other places I've been before. Play along, jerks.) GET CRAP IN YOUR INBOXSIGN ME UP, BYOTCH
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* Fingers Crossed I Still Have a Face Tomorrow * Things I want to say to that couple I hung out with for a fewweeks in Thailand
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