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KYLE BENSON
Relationship: An unconditional and secure bond formed by two unique individuals who choose to invest deeply in each other. In a healthy relationship, partners value each other more than the discomfort of conflict and personal growth. Often the hard conversations are leveraged to build trust, intimacy, and a deeper understanding of eachother.
6 TELLTALE SIGNS OF THE MOST TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OF ALL 6 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship. In the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it can Help You Find – and Keep – Love, the authors propose six telltale signs of a toxic relationship: 1) Can’t Leave Syndrome. THE LOVE TANK THEORY: HOW TO MAKE LOVE ACTUALLY LAST Lucky for you and me, we can make a relationship last by continually filling up our relationship’s Love Tank by intentionally loving each other every day. As Dr. Sue Johnson says, “Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing and finding deeper connection. TRUST & COMMITMENT: WHY EVERY HAPPY RELATIONSHIP NEEDS IT Believe me when I say, a happy relationship is IMPOSSIBLE without trust and commitment. Don’t believe me? Keep reading. Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each other’s hearts. 8 PROFOUND LESSONS INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS TEACH US Sex. , Trust, Commitment, & Relationship Security. , Vulnerability. O ur intimate relationships teach us more than about the hearts of the ones we love. They teach us about ourselves. There is no greater people growing machine than that of love. Our culture often views love as some fuzzy thing that gets passed around and makes you feel warminside.
THE MAGIC 6 HOURS THAT MAKES LOVE LAST (BASED ON RESEARCH)SEE MORE ONKYLEBENSON.NET
6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. DATE LIKE YOU DID IN THE BEGINNING AND THE PASSION WON’T END Date Like You Did in the Beginning and the Passion Won’t End. We are supposed to find love by dating around. All across the globe, different pairs of strangers meet every night at restaurants hoping that the person sitting across from them is “The One.”. Many dates will be awkward enough to signal the server over immediately for thecheck.
THE ONE DAILY TALK THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP Agreement #2: Dedicate Your Presence for 20-30 Minutes. Some couples struggle because they don’t spend enough time in the presence of each other to allow love to be cultivated. Take time to truly connect during this conversation. Agreement #3: Don’t Discuss Your Marriage. 3 POWERFUL WAYS TO OVERCOME EMOTIONAL BLOCKS IN LOVE O ur emotions are the roots to the tree of love.. When we lose control of them, we lose control of ourselves. We scream. We hurt people we care about. We make decisions that we deeply regret. From relationship researcher John Gottman to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, many love researchers agree on one thing: the biggest struggle between couples is an inability toKYLE BENSON
Relationship: An unconditional and secure bond formed by two unique individuals who choose to invest deeply in each other. In a healthy relationship, partners value each other more than the discomfort of conflict and personal growth. Often the hard conversations are leveraged to build trust, intimacy, and a deeper understanding of eachother.
6 TELLTALE SIGNS OF THE MOST TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OF ALL 6 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship. In the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it can Help You Find – and Keep – Love, the authors propose six telltale signs of a toxic relationship: 1) Can’t Leave Syndrome. THE LOVE TANK THEORY: HOW TO MAKE LOVE ACTUALLY LAST Lucky for you and me, we can make a relationship last by continually filling up our relationship’s Love Tank by intentionally loving each other every day. As Dr. Sue Johnson says, “Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing and finding deeper connection. TRUST & COMMITMENT: WHY EVERY HAPPY RELATIONSHIP NEEDS IT Believe me when I say, a happy relationship is IMPOSSIBLE without trust and commitment. Don’t believe me? Keep reading. Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each other’s hearts. 8 PROFOUND LESSONS INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS TEACH US Sex. , Trust, Commitment, & Relationship Security. , Vulnerability. O ur intimate relationships teach us more than about the hearts of the ones we love. They teach us about ourselves. There is no greater people growing machine than that of love. Our culture often views love as some fuzzy thing that gets passed around and makes you feel warminside.
THE MAGIC 6 HOURS THAT MAKES LOVE LAST (BASED ON RESEARCH)SEE MORE ONKYLEBENSON.NET
6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. DATE LIKE YOU DID IN THE BEGINNING AND THE PASSION WON’T END Date Like You Did in the Beginning and the Passion Won’t End. We are supposed to find love by dating around. All across the globe, different pairs of strangers meet every night at restaurants hoping that the person sitting across from them is “The One.”. Many dates will be awkward enough to signal the server over immediately for thecheck.
THE ONE DAILY TALK THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP Agreement #2: Dedicate Your Presence for 20-30 Minutes. Some couples struggle because they don’t spend enough time in the presence of each other to allow love to be cultivated. Take time to truly connect during this conversation. Agreement #3: Don’t Discuss Your Marriage. 3 POWERFUL WAYS TO OVERCOME EMOTIONAL BLOCKS IN LOVE O ur emotions are the roots to the tree of love.. When we lose control of them, we lose control of ourselves. We scream. We hurt people we care about. We make decisions that we deeply regret. From relationship researcher John Gottman to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, many love researchers agree on one thing: the biggest struggle between couples is an inability to 8 PROFOUND LESSONS INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS TEACH US Sex. , Trust, Commitment, & Relationship Security. , Vulnerability. O ur intimate relationships teach us more than about the hearts of the ones we love. They teach us about ourselves. There is no greater people growing machine than that of love. Our culture often views love as some fuzzy thing that gets passed around and makes you feel warminside.
6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. THE ONE DAILY TALK THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP Agreement #2: Dedicate Your Presence for 20-30 Minutes. Some couples struggle because they don’t spend enough time in the presence of each other to allow love to be cultivated. Take time to truly connect during this conversation. Agreement #3: Don’t Discuss Your Marriage. DATE LIKE YOU DID IN THE BEGINNING AND THE PASSION WON’T END Date Like You Did in the Beginning and the Passion Won’t End. We are supposed to find love by dating around. All across the globe, different pairs of strangers meet every night at restaurants hoping that the person sitting across from them is “The One.”. Many dates will be awkward enough to signal the server over immediately for thecheck.
THE HUMAN HEART WAS MADE TO BE KNOWN AND LOVED W hat were you made for?. You were made for someone to study you. To read you. To reflect on you. You were made for someone to be attuned to you. Attunement is the desire and willingness for someone to travel into your inner world to explore who you are and who you are becoming. In a securely attached relationship, this connection cultivates trust that allows your heart to rest. 3 POWERFUL WAYS TO OVERCOME EMOTIONAL BLOCKS IN LOVE O ur emotions are the roots to the tree of love.. When we lose control of them, we lose control of ourselves. We scream. We hurt people we care about. We make decisions that we deeply regret. From relationship researcher John Gottman to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, many love researchers agree on one thing: the biggest struggle between couples is an inability to 7 DAILY RITUALS INTENTIONAL COUPLES USE TO CULTIVATE Waking and Sleeping Together. Couples with mismatched sleeping styles, as in the case of an early bird paired with a night owl, can experience instability in the relationship. This can lead to more conflict, less time for shared activities, less sex, and less connecting conversation. 2. Tatkin believes that it’s healthy forpartners, even
REPAIRS DURING CONFLICT ARE A SUPERPOWER OF EMOTIONALLY Repairs During Conflict Are a Superpower of Emotionally Connected Couples. W hen you think about it, every couple in every relationship is set up for failure. It is impossible to be emotionally available to your partner 100 percent of the time. In fact, you will miss most of your partner’s bids for emotional connection out of mindlessness. 7 WAYS TO TRANSFORM CLINGY INSECURITY INTO A SUPERPOWER It reinforced my belief of being too needy to be loved. 1 Research has discovered that clingy lovers are more likely to date distant lovers, which reinforces this insecurity. 2. Since I felt a drive to prove my worth to Crystal, I invested more in the relationship than she did. WAR OR LOVE: FLAWS OF THE HUMAN BRAIN IN RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT The difference lies in the part of our brain that is active during conflict conversations. According to Dr. Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel Prize winner, the brain has two systems. The first system is automatic and reactive. This system dominates the brain when it senses a threat. It forces you to react when you’re crossing the street and a carruns
KYLE BENSON
Relationship: An unconditional and secure bond formed by two unique individuals who choose to invest deeply in each other. In a healthy relationship, partners value each other more than the discomfort of conflict and personal growth. Often the hard conversations are leveraged to build trust, intimacy, and a deeper understanding of eachother.
THE LOVE TANK THEORY: HOW TO MAKE LOVE ACTUALLY LAST Lucky for you and me, we can make a relationship last by continually filling up our relationship’s Love Tank by intentionally loving each other every day. As Dr. Sue Johnson says, “Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing and finding deeper connection. THE 6 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP-STRENGTHENING CONVERSATIONS Type 1: Routine Conversations. Routine conversations include discussions about chores, who’s taking the kids to what, what’s for dinner, and scheduling events, including date night.. These conversations are essential to accomplish practical things and to 6 TELLTALE SIGNS OF THE MOST TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OF ALL 6 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship. In the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it can Help You Find – and Keep – Love, the authors propose six telltale signs of a toxic relationship: 1) Can’t Leave Syndrome. 6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. VALUES IN DATING: WHY THEY'RE IMPORTANT AND HOW TO USE THEM Values. , Wealth. Values in dating play a significant role in finding a partner that is going to turn into a long-term relationship. Let’s look at this firsthand. It’s Easter. You’re in the grocery store, and you can’t stop staring at the attractive person buying flowers. You feel a pull towards them. You’re obsessively strategizing DEPENDENCY IN RELATIONSHIPS: IS IT WHAT YOU EXPECT?SEE MORE ONKYLEBENSON.NET
A RELATIONSHIP BUILT OF DEPENDENCY: THE PARADOX OF LOVE A Relationship Built of Dependency: The Paradox of Love. Every relationship involves some level of dependency. But in a relationship built of dependency entirely, a chronic sense of anxiety begins to creep in. Our partners powerfully affect our ability to thrive in life. They influence how we feel about ourselves and what we believewe are
THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP WITH AMIR LEVINE The anxious-avoidant relationship consumes you in the constant ups and downs. In the interview, Dr. Levine shares an example of an anxious-avoidant relationship: “Throughout her whole relationship, a woman never knew when she was going to see her partner next. She dated this man for about a year and a half. THE TOP 10 RELATIONSHIP ARTICLES OF 2017 6) Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship. Everyone has withdrawn from a relationship when we felt hurt or fearful of saying the wrong thing. This pause allows us to get creative about how to solve the problem. But consistent withdrawal is toxic.KYLE BENSON
Relationship: An unconditional and secure bond formed by two unique individuals who choose to invest deeply in each other. In a healthy relationship, partners value each other more than the discomfort of conflict and personal growth. Often the hard conversations are leveraged to build trust, intimacy, and a deeper understanding of eachother.
THE LOVE TANK THEORY: HOW TO MAKE LOVE ACTUALLY LAST Lucky for you and me, we can make a relationship last by continually filling up our relationship’s Love Tank by intentionally loving each other every day. As Dr. Sue Johnson says, “Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing and finding deeper connection. THE 6 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP-STRENGTHENING CONVERSATIONS Type 1: Routine Conversations. Routine conversations include discussions about chores, who’s taking the kids to what, what’s for dinner, and scheduling events, including date night.. These conversations are essential to accomplish practical things and to 6 TELLTALE SIGNS OF THE MOST TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OF ALL 6 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship. In the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it can Help You Find – and Keep – Love, the authors propose six telltale signs of a toxic relationship: 1) Can’t Leave Syndrome. 6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. VALUES IN DATING: WHY THEY'RE IMPORTANT AND HOW TO USE THEM Values. , Wealth. Values in dating play a significant role in finding a partner that is going to turn into a long-term relationship. Let’s look at this firsthand. It’s Easter. You’re in the grocery store, and you can’t stop staring at the attractive person buying flowers. You feel a pull towards them. You’re obsessively strategizing DEPENDENCY IN RELATIONSHIPS: IS IT WHAT YOU EXPECT?SEE MORE ONKYLEBENSON.NET
A RELATIONSHIP BUILT OF DEPENDENCY: THE PARADOX OF LOVE A Relationship Built of Dependency: The Paradox of Love. Every relationship involves some level of dependency. But in a relationship built of dependency entirely, a chronic sense of anxiety begins to creep in. Our partners powerfully affect our ability to thrive in life. They influence how we feel about ourselves and what we believewe are
THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP WITH AMIR LEVINE The anxious-avoidant relationship consumes you in the constant ups and downs. In the interview, Dr. Levine shares an example of an anxious-avoidant relationship: “Throughout her whole relationship, a woman never knew when she was going to see her partner next. She dated this man for about a year and a half. THE TOP 10 RELATIONSHIP ARTICLES OF 2017 6) Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship. Everyone has withdrawn from a relationship when we felt hurt or fearful of saying the wrong thing. This pause allows us to get creative about how to solve the problem. But consistent withdrawal is toxic. YOUR IDEAL WOMAN: HOW TO ATTRACT AND CREATE A LONGTERM Step 3: Find the matches between your ideal woman and your ideal self. Circle the matches in interest, habits and passions between your ideal woman and you. Rate yourself on a scale a 1-10 on each category for how close you are to being the person who will attract that type ofwoman.
6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. THE DEATH OF LOVE ISN'T NATURAL: THE 7 STEPS TO SEPARATION The decay of a relationship tends not to be a one-time blow-up; rather, it is like a snowball rolling down a hill. The red flags begin with how partners talk to each other, then the inability to repair leads to repeated instances of flooding and finally a negative THE SIX COMMANDMENTS OF VULNERABLE COMMUNICATION The 6 Commandments of Vulnerable Communication. O ur worries can emotionally hijack our brains. They can entirely consume our thoughts in an endless vacuum of fear. Opening yourself up, exposing who you are and what you need can be scary in our society. We were raised to be quiet, to not be too loud or crazy. RELATIONSHIP CONNECTION: 3 CHOICES THAT MAKE OR BREAK IT Relationships. , Sex. , Vulnerability. You have three relationship connection choices that can make your partnership amazing or lonely. “Feed and clothe a human infant but deprive him of emotional contact he will die.”. – A General Theory of Love. Matt and Evalin fight about everything under the HOW YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE DETERMINES HOW YOU LOVE THEM Step 1: Be intentional about your thoughts. Recognize your thoughts as they come up and notice how they try to consume you. Add the voice of self-doubt and question how true this feeling is. Dr. Gottman says, “You need to realize that you don’t have to believe these thoughts–
3 POWERFUL WAYS TO OVERCOME EMOTIONAL BLOCKS IN LOVE O ur emotions are the roots to the tree of love.. When we lose control of them, we lose control of ourselves. We scream. We hurt people we care about. We make decisions that we deeply regret. From relationship researcher John Gottman to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, many love researchers agree on one thing: the biggest struggle between couples is an inability to THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP WITH AMIR LEVINE The anxious-avoidant relationship consumes you in the constant ups and downs. In the interview, Dr. Levine shares an example of an anxious-avoidant relationship: “Throughout her whole relationship, a woman never knew when she was going to see her partner next. She dated this man for about a year and a half. THE STORY OF US: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAPPY AND UNHAPPY The Story of Us: The Difference Between Happy & Unhappy Couples. E very relationship is bound in the pages of stories. There’s the chapter when you sat alone in a romantic restaurant because John was late for date night. Or the countless nights your wife puts on 5 RULES FOR HAVING CONSTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT Below are five guidelines for making a conflict conversation work: 1. Be on the Same Team. People often perceive their partner as dissimilar to them, especially during conflict. They believe they have all the positive qualities and their partner only has a few or lots of negative traits. When you give your partner a negative quality in yourKYLE BENSON
Relationship: An unconditional and secure bond formed by two unique individuals who choose to invest deeply in each other. In a healthy relationship, partners value each other more than the discomfort of conflict and personal growth. Often the hard conversations are leveraged to build trust, intimacy, and a deeper understanding of eachother.
THE LOVE TANK THEORY: HOW TO MAKE LOVE ACTUALLY LAST Lucky for you and me, we can make a relationship last by continually filling up our relationship’s Love Tank by intentionally loving each other every day. As Dr. Sue Johnson says, “Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing and finding deeper connection. THE 6 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP-STRENGTHENING CONVERSATIONS Type 1: Routine Conversations. Routine conversations include discussions about chores, who’s taking the kids to what, what’s for dinner, and scheduling events, including date night.. These conversations are essential to accomplish practical things and to 6 TELLTALE SIGNS OF THE MOST TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OF ALL 6 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship. In the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it can Help You Find – and Keep – Love, the authors propose six telltale signs of a toxic relationship: 1) Can’t Leave Syndrome. 6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. VALUES IN DATING: WHY THEY'RE IMPORTANT AND HOW TO USE THEM Values. , Wealth. Values in dating play a significant role in finding a partner that is going to turn into a long-term relationship. Let’s look at this firsthand. It’s Easter. You’re in the grocery store, and you can’t stop staring at the attractive person buying flowers. You feel a pull towards them. You’re obsessively strategizing DEPENDENCY IN RELATIONSHIPS: IS IT WHAT YOU EXPECT?SEE MORE ONKYLEBENSON.NET
A RELATIONSHIP BUILT OF DEPENDENCY: THE PARADOX OF LOVE A Relationship Built of Dependency: The Paradox of Love. Every relationship involves some level of dependency. But in a relationship built of dependency entirely, a chronic sense of anxiety begins to creep in. Our partners powerfully affect our ability to thrive in life. They influence how we feel about ourselves and what we believewe are
THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP WITH AMIR LEVINE The anxious-avoidant relationship consumes you in the constant ups and downs. In the interview, Dr. Levine shares an example of an anxious-avoidant relationship: “Throughout her whole relationship, a woman never knew when she was going to see her partner next. She dated this man for about a year and a half. THE TOP 10 RELATIONSHIP ARTICLES OF 2017 6) Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship. Everyone has withdrawn from a relationship when we felt hurt or fearful of saying the wrong thing. This pause allows us to get creative about how to solve the problem. But consistent withdrawal is toxic.KYLE BENSON
Relationship: An unconditional and secure bond formed by two unique individuals who choose to invest deeply in each other. In a healthy relationship, partners value each other more than the discomfort of conflict and personal growth. Often the hard conversations are leveraged to build trust, intimacy, and a deeper understanding of eachother.
THE LOVE TANK THEORY: HOW TO MAKE LOVE ACTUALLY LAST Lucky for you and me, we can make a relationship last by continually filling up our relationship’s Love Tank by intentionally loving each other every day. As Dr. Sue Johnson says, “Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing and finding deeper connection. THE 6 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP-STRENGTHENING CONVERSATIONS Type 1: Routine Conversations. Routine conversations include discussions about chores, who’s taking the kids to what, what’s for dinner, and scheduling events, including date night.. These conversations are essential to accomplish practical things and to 6 TELLTALE SIGNS OF THE MOST TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OF ALL 6 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship. In the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it can Help You Find – and Keep – Love, the authors propose six telltale signs of a toxic relationship: 1) Can’t Leave Syndrome. 6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. VALUES IN DATING: WHY THEY'RE IMPORTANT AND HOW TO USE THEM Values. , Wealth. Values in dating play a significant role in finding a partner that is going to turn into a long-term relationship. Let’s look at this firsthand. It’s Easter. You’re in the grocery store, and you can’t stop staring at the attractive person buying flowers. You feel a pull towards them. You’re obsessively strategizing DEPENDENCY IN RELATIONSHIPS: IS IT WHAT YOU EXPECT?SEE MORE ONKYLEBENSON.NET
A RELATIONSHIP BUILT OF DEPENDENCY: THE PARADOX OF LOVE A Relationship Built of Dependency: The Paradox of Love. Every relationship involves some level of dependency. But in a relationship built of dependency entirely, a chronic sense of anxiety begins to creep in. Our partners powerfully affect our ability to thrive in life. They influence how we feel about ourselves and what we believewe are
THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP WITH AMIR LEVINE The anxious-avoidant relationship consumes you in the constant ups and downs. In the interview, Dr. Levine shares an example of an anxious-avoidant relationship: “Throughout her whole relationship, a woman never knew when she was going to see her partner next. She dated this man for about a year and a half. THE TOP 10 RELATIONSHIP ARTICLES OF 2017 6) Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship. Everyone has withdrawn from a relationship when we felt hurt or fearful of saying the wrong thing. This pause allows us to get creative about how to solve the problem. But consistent withdrawal is toxic. YOUR IDEAL WOMAN: HOW TO ATTRACT AND CREATE A LONGTERM Step 3: Find the matches between your ideal woman and your ideal self. Circle the matches in interest, habits and passions between your ideal woman and you. Rate yourself on a scale a 1-10 on each category for how close you are to being the person who will attract that type ofwoman.
6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. THE DEATH OF LOVE ISN'T NATURAL: THE 7 STEPS TO SEPARATION The decay of a relationship tends not to be a one-time blow-up; rather, it is like a snowball rolling down a hill. The red flags begin with how partners talk to each other, then the inability to repair leads to repeated instances of flooding and finally a negative THE SIX COMMANDMENTS OF VULNERABLE COMMUNICATION The 6 Commandments of Vulnerable Communication. O ur worries can emotionally hijack our brains. They can entirely consume our thoughts in an endless vacuum of fear. Opening yourself up, exposing who you are and what you need can be scary in our society. We were raised to be quiet, to not be too loud or crazy. RELATIONSHIP CONNECTION: 3 CHOICES THAT MAKE OR BREAK IT Relationships. , Sex. , Vulnerability. You have three relationship connection choices that can make your partnership amazing or lonely. “Feed and clothe a human infant but deprive him of emotional contact he will die.”. – A General Theory of Love. Matt and Evalin fight about everything under the HOW YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE DETERMINES HOW YOU LOVE THEM Step 1: Be intentional about your thoughts. Recognize your thoughts as they come up and notice how they try to consume you. Add the voice of self-doubt and question how true this feeling is. Dr. Gottman says, “You need to realize that you don’t have to believe these thoughts–
3 POWERFUL WAYS TO OVERCOME EMOTIONAL BLOCKS IN LOVE O ur emotions are the roots to the tree of love.. When we lose control of them, we lose control of ourselves. We scream. We hurt people we care about. We make decisions that we deeply regret. From relationship researcher John Gottman to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, many love researchers agree on one thing: the biggest struggle between couples is an inability to THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP WITH AMIR LEVINE The anxious-avoidant relationship consumes you in the constant ups and downs. In the interview, Dr. Levine shares an example of an anxious-avoidant relationship: “Throughout her whole relationship, a woman never knew when she was going to see her partner next. She dated this man for about a year and a half. THE STORY OF US: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAPPY AND UNHAPPY The Story of Us: The Difference Between Happy & Unhappy Couples. E very relationship is bound in the pages of stories. There’s the chapter when you sat alone in a romantic restaurant because John was late for date night. Or the countless nights your wife puts on 5 RULES FOR HAVING CONSTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT Below are five guidelines for making a conflict conversation work: 1. Be on the Same Team. People often perceive their partner as dissimilar to them, especially during conflict. They believe they have all the positive qualities and their partner only has a few or lots of negative traits. When you give your partner a negative quality in yourKYLE BENSON
Relationship: An unconditional and secure bond formed by two unique individuals who choose to invest deeply in each other. In a healthy relationship, partners value each other more than the discomfort of conflict and personal growth. Often the hard conversations are leveraged to build trust, intimacy, and a deeper understanding of eachother.
THE LOVE TANK THEORY: HOW TO MAKE LOVE ACTUALLY LAST Lucky for you and me, we can make a relationship last by continually filling up our relationship’s Love Tank by intentionally loving each other every day. As Dr. Sue Johnson says, “Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing and finding deeper connection. THE 6 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP-STRENGTHENING CONVERSATIONS Type 1: Routine Conversations. Routine conversations include discussions about chores, who’s taking the kids to what, what’s for dinner, and scheduling events, including date night.. These conversations are essential to accomplish practical things and to 6 TELLTALE SIGNS OF THE MOST TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OF ALL 6 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship. In the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it can Help You Find – and Keep – Love, the authors propose six telltale signs of a toxic relationship: 1) Can’t Leave Syndrome. 6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. VALUES IN DATING: WHY THEY'RE IMPORTANT AND HOW TO USE THEM Values. , Wealth. Values in dating play a significant role in finding a partner that is going to turn into a long-term relationship. Let’s look at this firsthand. It’s Easter. You’re in the grocery store, and you can’t stop staring at the attractive person buying flowers. You feel a pull towards them. You’re obsessively strategizing DEPENDENCY IN RELATIONSHIPS: IS IT WHAT YOU EXPECT?SEE MORE ONKYLEBENSON.NET
A RELATIONSHIP BUILT OF DEPENDENCY: THE PARADOX OF LOVE A Relationship Built of Dependency: The Paradox of Love. Every relationship involves some level of dependency. But in a relationship built of dependency entirely, a chronic sense of anxiety begins to creep in. Our partners powerfully affect our ability to thrive in life. They influence how we feel about ourselves and what we believewe are
THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP WITH AMIR LEVINE The anxious-avoidant relationship consumes you in the constant ups and downs. In the interview, Dr. Levine shares an example of an anxious-avoidant relationship: “Throughout her whole relationship, a woman never knew when she was going to see her partner next. She dated this man for about a year and a half. THE TOP 10 RELATIONSHIP ARTICLES OF 2017 6) Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship. Everyone has withdrawn from a relationship when we felt hurt or fearful of saying the wrong thing. This pause allows us to get creative about how to solve the problem. But consistent withdrawal is toxic.KYLE BENSON
Relationship: An unconditional and secure bond formed by two unique individuals who choose to invest deeply in each other. In a healthy relationship, partners value each other more than the discomfort of conflict and personal growth. Often the hard conversations are leveraged to build trust, intimacy, and a deeper understanding of eachother.
THE LOVE TANK THEORY: HOW TO MAKE LOVE ACTUALLY LAST Lucky for you and me, we can make a relationship last by continually filling up our relationship’s Love Tank by intentionally loving each other every day. As Dr. Sue Johnson says, “Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing and finding deeper connection. THE 6 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIP-STRENGTHENING CONVERSATIONS Type 1: Routine Conversations. Routine conversations include discussions about chores, who’s taking the kids to what, what’s for dinner, and scheduling events, including date night.. These conversations are essential to accomplish practical things and to 6 TELLTALE SIGNS OF THE MOST TOXIC RELATIONSHIP OF ALL 6 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship. In the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it can Help You Find – and Keep – Love, the authors propose six telltale signs of a toxic relationship: 1) Can’t Leave Syndrome. 6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. VALUES IN DATING: WHY THEY'RE IMPORTANT AND HOW TO USE THEM Values. , Wealth. Values in dating play a significant role in finding a partner that is going to turn into a long-term relationship. Let’s look at this firsthand. It’s Easter. You’re in the grocery store, and you can’t stop staring at the attractive person buying flowers. You feel a pull towards them. You’re obsessively strategizing DEPENDENCY IN RELATIONSHIPS: IS IT WHAT YOU EXPECT?SEE MORE ONKYLEBENSON.NET
A RELATIONSHIP BUILT OF DEPENDENCY: THE PARADOX OF LOVE A Relationship Built of Dependency: The Paradox of Love. Every relationship involves some level of dependency. But in a relationship built of dependency entirely, a chronic sense of anxiety begins to creep in. Our partners powerfully affect our ability to thrive in life. They influence how we feel about ourselves and what we believewe are
THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP WITH AMIR LEVINE The anxious-avoidant relationship consumes you in the constant ups and downs. In the interview, Dr. Levine shares an example of an anxious-avoidant relationship: “Throughout her whole relationship, a woman never knew when she was going to see her partner next. She dated this man for about a year and a half. THE TOP 10 RELATIONSHIP ARTICLES OF 2017 6) Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship. Everyone has withdrawn from a relationship when we felt hurt or fearful of saying the wrong thing. This pause allows us to get creative about how to solve the problem. But consistent withdrawal is toxic. YOUR IDEAL WOMAN: HOW TO ATTRACT AND CREATE A LONGTERM Step 3: Find the matches between your ideal woman and your ideal self. Circle the matches in interest, habits and passions between your ideal woman and you. Rate yourself on a scale a 1-10 on each category for how close you are to being the person who will attract that type ofwoman.
6 STEPS TO AN EFFECTIVE TIME-OUT THAT STOPS NASTY CONFLICT Step 1: Agree on a “We Need a Break” Signal. This can be either verbal or nonverbal. Verbal examples include: “Time-out,” “Let’s take a break,” “I’m overwhelmed. Break!”. Make sure your verbal agreement is short and quick. THE DEATH OF LOVE ISN'T NATURAL: THE 7 STEPS TO SEPARATION The decay of a relationship tends not to be a one-time blow-up; rather, it is like a snowball rolling down a hill. The red flags begin with how partners talk to each other, then the inability to repair leads to repeated instances of flooding and finally a negative THE SIX COMMANDMENTS OF VULNERABLE COMMUNICATION The 6 Commandments of Vulnerable Communication. O ur worries can emotionally hijack our brains. They can entirely consume our thoughts in an endless vacuum of fear. Opening yourself up, exposing who you are and what you need can be scary in our society. We were raised to be quiet, to not be too loud or crazy. RELATIONSHIP CONNECTION: 3 CHOICES THAT MAKE OR BREAK IT Relationships. , Sex. , Vulnerability. You have three relationship connection choices that can make your partnership amazing or lonely. “Feed and clothe a human infant but deprive him of emotional contact he will die.”. – A General Theory of Love. Matt and Evalin fight about everything under the HOW YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE DETERMINES HOW YOU LOVE THEM Step 1: Be intentional about your thoughts. Recognize your thoughts as they come up and notice how they try to consume you. Add the voice of self-doubt and question how true this feeling is. Dr. Gottman says, “You need to realize that you don’t have to believe these thoughts–
3 POWERFUL WAYS TO OVERCOME EMOTIONAL BLOCKS IN LOVE O ur emotions are the roots to the tree of love.. When we lose control of them, we lose control of ourselves. We scream. We hurt people we care about. We make decisions that we deeply regret. From relationship researcher John Gottman to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, many love researchers agree on one thing: the biggest struggle between couples is an inability to THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP WITH AMIR LEVINE The anxious-avoidant relationship consumes you in the constant ups and downs. In the interview, Dr. Levine shares an example of an anxious-avoidant relationship: “Throughout her whole relationship, a woman never knew when she was going to see her partner next. She dated this man for about a year and a half. THE STORY OF US: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAPPY AND UNHAPPY The Story of Us: The Difference Between Happy & Unhappy Couples. E very relationship is bound in the pages of stories. There’s the chapter when you sat alone in a romantic restaurant because John was late for date night. Or the countless nights your wife puts on 5 RULES FOR HAVING CONSTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT Below are five guidelines for making a conflict conversation work: 1. Be on the Same Team. People often perceive their partner as dissimilar to them, especially during conflict. They believe they have all the positive qualities and their partner only has a few or lots of negative traits. When you give your partner a negative quality in yourSkip to content
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Learn How to Fight Better INTENTIONALLY INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS Relationships suck sometimes. And sometimes they are mind-blowing amazing. Paradoxically, most of us, including myself, must go _through_ the suckage of rewiring how we love to create the amazing relationship we crave. I propose that love lasts when couples are intentional, deepen their capacity to be intimate and are committed to each other. INTENTIONALITY: We often fall in love with someone and then forget to stand in love; to willfully create it. Intentionally loving your partner means being willing to cultivate emotional connection and spontaneity. This means prioritizing time together: dates, sex, conflict, and friendship. “If you do nothing to improve your relationship, but do not do anything bad, your relationship will get worse over time.” INTIMACY: While most of us believe we need to be accepted to be loved, what we fear more is being our whole self in love. Intimacy happens when you stand on your own two feet as a unique person in a close relationship. In order to be deeply intimate, you have to grow and growth is uncomfortable. “Vulnerability is anything but romantic and yet it creates the deep feeling of being known, which is profoundly powerful andfulfilling.”
RELATIONSHIP: An unconditional and secure bond formed by two unique individuals who choose to invest deeply in each other. In a healthy relationship, partners value each other more than the discomfort of conflict and personal growth. Often the hard conversations are leveraged to build trust, intimacy, and a deeper understanding of eachother.
“Healthy relationships are anything but smooth.” CAN YOU HANDLE THE INTENSITY OF THE INTIMACY 5 CHALLENGE?I Can Handle It
THE LATEST RELATIONSHIP ADVICE The most recent articles teaching you how to fight better, love harder and have amazing sex... 5 RELATIONSHIP BOOKS THAT WILL PROFOUNDLY CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOVE Do you like having orgasms? (Hear me out…I promise this is leading to relationship books) I do. There’s nothing like a full-body-shaking, breath-taking, heart-pounding orgasmRead more DEFENSIVENESS DOESN’T PROTECT A RELATIONSHIP: 4 DIY REMEDIES Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is oneRead more 5 STEPS TO FIGHTING BETTER IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR Fighting in relationships? It’s not ALWAYS bad. Or avoidable. In fact, conflict is inevitable in every relationship. Psychologist Dan Wile says it best in hisRead more CONFLICT IN RELATIONSHIPS: 3 STEPS TO HELP YOUR PARTNER SEE YOUR SIDE This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog. Conflict in relationships isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, thereRead more ARE YOU SEEKING LASTING LOVE? Get the 5 Secrets to Finding Lasting Love FIGHT BETTER, LOVE HARDER, & HAVE PASSIONATE SEX__
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All Articles Organized by Date To browse all of my articles by title and date, scroll down. Articles are listed in reverse chronologicalorder withRead more
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START IMPROVING YOUR RELATIONSHIP HERE Welcome to my site! You’re taking a huge step towards creating a happy and long-lasting relationship just by joining our Intentionally Intimate Relationship community. WeRead more > I am so thankful for this website and the information here! Thank > you for what you are doing for marriages and families!!Dawn
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> I always appreciate your professional knowledge. Thanks, Kyle!Nora
> “I had a long talk with my husband this week about why our sex > life has declined so much. It was a hard talk, but keeping your > stuff in mind really helped me keep an objective point of view until > we got down to what was going on. We finally got through it. You > really made a difference.” Lisa P., 32, Seattle, WAStart
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