PRESIDENT TRUMP INCONTINENCE CLAIM It's been claimed in US political circles that the recent strange behavior and unexplained antics of President Donald Trump are down to a new health problem that he is experiencing - incontinence. Trump, 74, has been criticized all through his presidency, but even more so recently, after serious errors of judgement over the Coronavirus, and PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Prayer Heals Decapitated Monkey. Biloxi, MI - In a shocking exhibition of the power of prayer, a decapitated rhesus monkey has miraculously healed completely following a group prayer service. The announcement came during a press conference Monday, October 3rd, 2011 by TRUMP U 2021 COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER: MIKE LINDELL Mike Lindell also known as “The Pillow Guy” will be the commencement speaker at Trump University holds its 2021 graduation ceremony. This year’s crop is rather thin as only four graduates will be receiving their diplomas. Insiders point to issues ALLIGATORS FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Brazilian Woman Finds Alligator Behind Sofa. A woman in the Northern Brazilian town of Parauapebas was shocked to find 5 foot alligator hiding behind her living room sofa. The housewife was apparently only alerted to the presence of the reptile by her son, who was patting its head shouting " Read full story. AMERICAN IDOL TEEN WHO SANG GAY SONG ELIMINATED Huckleberry Citrus with LaLaLand Daily said that many audience members were shocked to hear 16-year-old Casey Bishop sing the song “Hey, I’m Not Kinda Gay, I’m A Bunch Gay,” which was written by Black Kitty Meow Meow, who bills himself as the only black, gay, atheist, Republican rapper in the entire United States.. Reports are that the high school singer did end up getting 93% of the LENO ADMITS HE WAS ONCE GAY Hollywood, CA -Late night talk show host Jay Leno revealed today that he used to be Gay. The announcement came as a shock to fans as well as to his own family. His wife said she never had a clue of him ever being Gay. "I'm clueless," she said in a prepared statement. When asked how he first came to know that he was Gay, Leno stated, "I had WILL TRUMP CONTINUE TO RUN REPUBLICAN PARTY FROM JAIL The minority leader of the House, Kevin McCarthy, booted Liz Cheney out of her leadership position in the Republican Party for saying: Donald Trump did not win his last election. However, later that same day, when asked whether Joe Biden was the legally elected President of the United States, Kevin McCarthy replied, “Yes. GOD CALLING FUNNY JOKE God Calling While working for a local volunteer ambulance corp, we were responding to a call with lights and sirens, when we approached an elderly woman in her car right in front of us. Much to our annoyance nothing we did would make her get out of the way, until my driver got on the PA and said, "Please pull over to the right side." IDOL WORSHIP? FUNNY JOKE Idol worship? Submitted by IN SEINE. Thursday, 15 July 2010. Share. A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with

crossed

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? BRENTFORD NYLONS The 90 stores made a loss of £2.3 million in 1997. In the end, Brentford Nylons will always be remembered for two things: uncomfortable bed clothes and the Alan Freeman advertising campaign. Richard Perks of Verdict Research, said: "The Nylons part of the name always lingered and it was synonymous with nasty, sweaty sheets. PRESIDENT TRUMP INCONTINENCE CLAIM It's been claimed in US political circles that the recent strange behavior and unexplained antics of President Donald Trump are down to a new health problem that he is experiencing - incontinence. Trump, 74, has been criticized all through his presidency, but even more so recently, after serious errors of judgement over the Coronavirus, and PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Prayer Heals Decapitated Monkey. Biloxi, MI - In a shocking exhibition of the power of prayer, a decapitated rhesus monkey has miraculously healed completely following a group prayer service. The announcement came during a press conference Monday, October 3rd, 2011 by TRUMP U 2021 COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER: MIKE LINDELL Mike Lindell also known as “The Pillow Guy” will be the commencement speaker at Trump University holds its 2021 graduation ceremony. This year’s crop is rather thin as only four graduates will be receiving their diplomas. Insiders point to issues ALLIGATORS FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Brazilian Woman Finds Alligator Behind Sofa. A woman in the Northern Brazilian town of Parauapebas was shocked to find 5 foot alligator hiding behind her living room sofa. The housewife was apparently only alerted to the presence of the reptile by her son, who was patting its head shouting " Read full story. AMERICAN IDOL TEEN WHO SANG GAY SONG ELIMINATED Huckleberry Citrus with LaLaLand Daily said that many audience members were shocked to hear 16-year-old Casey Bishop sing the song “Hey, I’m Not Kinda Gay, I’m A Bunch Gay,” which was written by Black Kitty Meow Meow, who bills himself as the only black, gay, atheist, Republican rapper in the entire United States.. Reports are that the high school singer did end up getting 93% of the LENO ADMITS HE WAS ONCE GAY Hollywood, CA -Late night talk show host Jay Leno revealed today that he used to be Gay. The announcement came as a shock to fans as well as to his own family. His wife said she never had a clue of him ever being Gay. "I'm clueless," she said in a prepared statement. When asked how he first came to know that he was Gay, Leno stated, "I had WILL TRUMP CONTINUE TO RUN REPUBLICAN PARTY FROM JAIL The minority leader of the House, Kevin McCarthy, booted Liz Cheney out of her leadership position in the Republican Party for saying: Donald Trump did not win his last election. However, later that same day, when asked whether Joe Biden was the legally elected President of the United States, Kevin McCarthy replied, “Yes. GOD CALLING FUNNY JOKE God Calling While working for a local volunteer ambulance corp, we were responding to a call with lights and sirens, when we approached an elderly woman in her car right in front of us. Much to our annoyance nothing we did would make her get out of the way, until my driver got on the PA and said, "Please pull over to the right side." IDOL WORSHIP? FUNNY JOKE Idol worship? Submitted by IN SEINE. Thursday, 15 July 2010. Share. A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with

crossed

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? BRENTFORD NYLONS The 90 stores made a loss of £2.3 million in 1997. In the end, Brentford Nylons will always be remembered for two things: uncomfortable bed clothes and the Alan Freeman advertising campaign. Richard Perks of Verdict Research, said: "The Nylons part of the name always lingered and it was synonymous with nasty, sweaty sheets. PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Prayer Heals Decapitated Monkey. Biloxi, MI - In a shocking exhibition of the power of prayer, a decapitated rhesus monkey has miraculously healed completely following a group prayer service. The announcement came during a press conference Monday, October 3rd, 2011 by USS MARILYN MONROE REVEALS UFO’S ARE FROM URANUS 20 hours ago · One American battleship, The USS Marilyn Monroe reported spotting 7 UFO’s in just a 35 minute period.. Radarman Murray P. Ropentula, told the iRumors News Agency that he is regarded as the best radarman in the entire United States Navy.. He spoke with iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli over the phone, and he told her that the UFO’s he saw were all sterling silver in color. FUTURE TRAVEL BY HOVERING WHILE EARTH ROTATES 20 hours ago · Futurist Ray Kurzweil yesterday predicted that anti-gravity technology will be mainstream by 2050, and that we will be using the technology for 99.9% of travel around the planet. Kurzweil unveiled his ideas at the annual conference sponsored by hi CHICAGO SINKHOLE SWALLOWS 73-STORY BUILDING CHICAGO – (Satire News) – In what is being called the biggest sinkhole since the infamous Kalahari Desert Sinkhole of September 13, 1613, a huge one-block in circumference sinkhole has just swallowed up the 73-Story Chaka Khan Musical Building in the PSYCHIC RELAYS GOD'S PLAN FOR SAVING HUMANITY World famous psychic Rudy "Two Phones" Jackster announced his latest revelation yesterday afternoon to a riveted crowd of followers just outside his home in Jackson, Mississippi. He claims this transmission was straight from God, something he's d ALLIGATORS FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST The National Animal Rights Syndicate Is Demanding That Louisiana Muzzle All of Their Alligators and Crocodiles. PELICAN BALLS, Louisiana – (Satire News) - The National Animal Rights Syndicate known as NARS has just held their bi-yearly meeting and they have come up with a mandate that they want implemented within 2 weeks. SHRINK FANTASIZES OVER SHOOTING WHITE PERSON IN HEAD 20 hours ago · BILLINGSGATE POST: Elmer Smuckmeister, a retired farmer living in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, was proud of the Yale diploma he had nailed to the wall of his barn, right next to a picture of his 4-H heifer, Ellie, who won first prize at the 1960 State ELON MUSK’S NEW PLANETARY TELESCOPE IS THE MOST POWERFUL The amazing Musk Busybody Planetary Telescope, aka "The Ringo" is valued at $7.3 million. HOUSTON, Texas – (Satire News) – The richest man in the world, Elon Musk has just developed the amazing Musk Busybody Planetary Telescope, which he has nicknamed "Ringo". The entrepreneur, who is the father of the Tesla, the SpaceX Starship, and

Diet

JOE BIDEN FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Trump v. Biden Big Fight Preview. As the Big Fight countdown counts down and the 'Scrap of the Old Guys' on 3 November gets ever nearer, a sober analysis of the two contenders shows that Democrat Joe Biden might be found wanting in his bid to gain the edge over President

Trump in thi

IDOL WORSHIP? FUNNY JOKE Idol worship? Submitted by IN SEINE. Thursday, 15 July 2010. Share. A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with

crossed

PRESIDENT TRUMP INCONTINENCE CLAIM It's been claimed in US political circles that the recent strange behavior and unexplained antics of President Donald Trump are down to a new health problem that he is experiencing - incontinence. Trump, 74, has been criticized all through his presidency, but even more so recently, after serious errors of judgement over the Coronavirus, and PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Prayer Heals Decapitated Monkey. Biloxi, MI - In a shocking exhibition of the power of prayer, a decapitated rhesus monkey has miraculously healed completely following a group prayer service. The announcement came during a press conference Monday, October 3rd, 2011 by TRUMP U 2021 COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER: MIKE LINDELL Mike Lindell also known as “The Pillow Guy” will be the commencement speaker at Trump University holds its 2021 graduation ceremony. This year’s crop is rather thin as only four graduates will be receiving their diplomas. Insiders point to issues ALLIGATORS FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Brazilian Woman Finds Alligator Behind Sofa. A woman in the Northern Brazilian town of Parauapebas was shocked to find 5 foot alligator hiding behind her living room sofa. The housewife was apparently only alerted to the presence of the reptile by her son, who was patting its head shouting " Read full story. AMERICAN IDOL TEEN WHO SANG GAY SONG ELIMINATED Huckleberry Citrus with LaLaLand Daily said that many audience members were shocked to hear 16-year-old Casey Bishop sing the song “Hey, I’m Not Kinda Gay, I’m A Bunch Gay,” which was written by Black Kitty Meow Meow, who bills himself as the only black, gay, atheist, Republican rapper in the entire United States.. Reports are that the high school singer did end up getting 93% of the LENO ADMITS HE WAS ONCE GAY Hollywood, CA -Late night talk show host Jay Leno revealed today that he used to be Gay. The announcement came as a shock to fans as well as to his own family. His wife said she never had a clue of him ever being Gay. "I'm clueless," she said in a prepared statement. When asked how he first came to know that he was Gay, Leno stated, "I had GOD CALLING FUNNY JOKE God Calling While working for a local volunteer ambulance corp, we were responding to a call with lights and sirens, when we approached an elderly woman in her car right in front of us. Much to our annoyance nothing we did would make her get out of the way, until my driver got on the PA and said, "Please pull over to the right side." WILL TRUMP CONTINUE TO RUN REPUBLICAN PARTY FROM JAIL The minority leader of the House, Kevin McCarthy, booted Liz Cheney out of her leadership position in the Republican Party for saying: Donald Trump did not win his last election. However, later that same day, when asked whether Joe Biden was the legally elected President of the United States, Kevin McCarthy replied, “Yes. IDOL WORSHIP? FUNNY JOKE Idol worship? Submitted by IN SEINE. Thursday, 15 July 2010. Share. A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with

crossed

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? BRENTFORD NYLONS The 90 stores made a loss of £2.3 million in 1997. In the end, Brentford Nylons will always be remembered for two things: uncomfortable bed clothes and the Alan Freeman advertising campaign. Richard Perks of Verdict Research, said: "The Nylons part of the name always lingered and it was synonymous with nasty, sweaty sheets. PRESIDENT TRUMP INCONTINENCE CLAIM It's been claimed in US political circles that the recent strange behavior and unexplained antics of President Donald Trump are down to a new health problem that he is experiencing - incontinence. Trump, 74, has been criticized all through his presidency, but even more so recently, after serious errors of judgement over the Coronavirus, and PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Prayer Heals Decapitated Monkey. Biloxi, MI - In a shocking exhibition of the power of prayer, a decapitated rhesus monkey has miraculously healed completely following a group prayer service. The announcement came during a press conference Monday, October 3rd, 2011 by TRUMP U 2021 COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER: MIKE LINDELL Mike Lindell also known as “The Pillow Guy” will be the commencement speaker at Trump University holds its 2021 graduation ceremony. This year’s crop is rather thin as only four graduates will be receiving their diplomas. Insiders point to issues ALLIGATORS FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Brazilian Woman Finds Alligator Behind Sofa. A woman in the Northern Brazilian town of Parauapebas was shocked to find 5 foot alligator hiding behind her living room sofa. The housewife was apparently only alerted to the presence of the reptile by her son, who was patting its head shouting " Read full story. AMERICAN IDOL TEEN WHO SANG GAY SONG ELIMINATED Huckleberry Citrus with LaLaLand Daily said that many audience members were shocked to hear 16-year-old Casey Bishop sing the song “Hey, I’m Not Kinda Gay, I’m A Bunch Gay,” which was written by Black Kitty Meow Meow, who bills himself as the only black, gay, atheist, Republican rapper in the entire United States.. Reports are that the high school singer did end up getting 93% of the LENO ADMITS HE WAS ONCE GAY Hollywood, CA -Late night talk show host Jay Leno revealed today that he used to be Gay. The announcement came as a shock to fans as well as to his own family. His wife said she never had a clue of him ever being Gay. "I'm clueless," she said in a prepared statement. When asked how he first came to know that he was Gay, Leno stated, "I had GOD CALLING FUNNY JOKE God Calling While working for a local volunteer ambulance corp, we were responding to a call with lights and sirens, when we approached an elderly woman in her car right in front of us. Much to our annoyance nothing we did would make her get out of the way, until my driver got on the PA and said, "Please pull over to the right side." WILL TRUMP CONTINUE TO RUN REPUBLICAN PARTY FROM JAIL The minority leader of the House, Kevin McCarthy, booted Liz Cheney out of her leadership position in the Republican Party for saying: Donald Trump did not win his last election. However, later that same day, when asked whether Joe Biden was the legally elected President of the United States, Kevin McCarthy replied, “Yes. IDOL WORSHIP? FUNNY JOKE Idol worship? Submitted by IN SEINE. Thursday, 15 July 2010. Share. A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with

crossed

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? BRENTFORD NYLONS The 90 stores made a loss of £2.3 million in 1997. In the end, Brentford Nylons will always be remembered for two things: uncomfortable bed clothes and the Alan Freeman advertising campaign. Richard Perks of Verdict Research, said: "The Nylons part of the name always lingered and it was synonymous with nasty, sweaty sheets. DOWNLOAD FREE EURO 2020 TOURNAMENT PLANNER HERE Are you planning to watch the Euro 2020 footballing competition? Well don't, until you've planned your viewing schedule using TheSpoof's own handy easy-to-use Euro 2020 footballing competition tournament planner. Geoff Ball explains. Simply wri PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Prayer Heals Decapitated Monkey. Biloxi, MI - In a shocking exhibition of the power of prayer, a decapitated rhesus monkey has miraculously healed completely following a group prayer service. The announcement came during a press conference Monday, October 3rd, 2011 by P.M. WORTHAM'S SATIRE AND PARODY STORIES The Spoof : Satire Search and Parody. Hollywood Solves Greek Bond Issue with Actor Billy Zane. The benefits of abbreviated headlines and cell phone based news snippets were brought into question again this weekend, as news of Greek bond issues hit the airwaves, and several entertainment industry executives were made to look like idiots. FUTURE TRAVEL BY HOVERING WHILE EARTH ROTATES 18 hours ago · Futurist Ray Kurzweil yesterday predicted that anti-gravity technology will be mainstream by 2050, and that we will be using the technology for 99.9% of travel around the planet. Kurzweil unveiled his ideas at the annual conference sponsored by hi PSYCHIC RELAYS GOD'S PLAN FOR SAVING HUMANITY World famous psychic Rudy "Two Phones" Jackster announced his latest revelation yesterday afternoon to a riveted crowd of followers just outside his home in Jackson, Mississippi. He claims this transmission was straight from God, something he's d SHRINK FANTASIZES OVER SHOOTING WHITE PERSON IN HEAD 18 hours ago · BILLINGSGATE POST: Elmer Smuckmeister, a retired farmer living in Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, was proud of the Yale diploma he had nailed to the wall of his barn, right next to a picture of his 4-H heifer, Ellie, who won first prize at the 1960 State CHICAGO SINKHOLE SWALLOWS 73-STORY BUILDING CHICAGO – (Satire News) – In what is being called the biggest sinkhole since the infamous Kalahari Desert Sinkhole of September 13, 1613, a huge one-block in circumference sinkhole has just swallowed up the 73-Story Chaka Khan Musical Building in the DIRT FROM MARS RESEMBLES NEW MEXICO HOUSTON – (Satire News) – Videos of tests that have just been sent back to Earth from Mars amazingly reveal that the dirt found on the Red Planet is almost identical to the dirt found in the state of New Mexico. New Mexico's dirt according to Wiki ELON MUSK’S NEW PLANETARY TELESCOPE IS THE MOST POWERFUL The amazing Musk Busybody Planetary Telescope, aka "The Ringo" is valued at $7.3 million. HOUSTON, Texas – (Satire News) – The richest man in the world, Elon Musk has just developed the amazing Musk Busybody Planetary Telescope, which he has nicknamed "Ringo". The entrepreneur, who is the father of the Tesla, the SpaceX Starship, and

Diet

ALLIGATORS FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST The National Animal Rights Syndicate Is Demanding That Louisiana Muzzle All of Their Alligators and Crocodiles. PELICAN BALLS, Louisiana – (Satire News) - The National Animal Rights Syndicate known as NARS has just held their bi-yearly meeting and they have come up with a mandate that they want implemented within 2 weeks. PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Funny satire stories about Prayer. Model prayer for all occasions discovered in Kansas. The Green Cathedral, Harrisburg, Kansas The Honorable Crowley Smitherson, asst. Minister From the Pulpit, Dear Friends, We've all had to enter the new modern age and leave behind some cherished ideas.

SHEEP FUNNY STORIES

Incidents of Sheep-Worrying at an All-Time Low. Conservative Minister, Regine Changer, has told reporters from the Chutney on the Fritz Times that, since lockdown began, no reports of sheep-worrying have bothered the desk of local policeman, Donald Plod. PRESIDENT TRUMP INCONTINENCE CLAIM Related Funny Stories President Trump Punches Woman In Face 13 July 2020; Kanye West Says He Wants To Become The First US President To Record A Number 1 Album 13 July 2020; President Trump Tweets From The White House Bunker (#1) 13 July 2020 Melania Trumps Says That She is 94% Sure That The President Will Drop Out of the Presidential Race 13 July 2020; Rudy Giuliani PICNIC FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST The Case Against Recreation - Part 22: Picnics. Picnics- involve the eating of meals in an outdoor setting such as a park. The procedure is quite simple: participants prepare the meal at home, pack it along with a table cloth, and maybe some folding chairs. BREAKING NEWS SNIPPETS FROM MAR 2021, HEADLINES, SATIRE Funny breaking news ticker, news snippets, news shorts, news briefs and headlines from Mar 2021 ALLIGATORS FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST The National Animal Rights Syndicate Is Demanding That Louisiana Muzzle All of Their Alligators and Crocodiles. PELICAN BALLS, Louisiana – (Satire News) - The National Animal Rights Syndicate known as NARS has just held their bi-yearly meeting and they have come up with a mandate that they want implemented within 2 weeks. PROFILE FOR HUMOR WRITER MATT BIRKENHAUER Screen Name: Matt Birkenhauer Matt Birkenhauer has published 419 items on The Spoof and is currently ranked 12th in the top writers table.. Check out Matt Birkenhauer's: 247 Spoof News Stories; 97 Spoof Snippets; 75 Jokes; Latest Spoof News Story: Sunday 30th May 2021 Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy Promotes Marjorie Taylor Greene to Newly Formed Committee GOD CALLING FUNNY JOKE While working for a local volunteer ambulance corp, we were responding to a call with lights and sirens, when we approached an elderly woman in her car right in front of us. LENO ADMITS HE WAS ONCE GAY Hollywood, CA-Late night talk show host Jay Leno revealed today that he used to be Gay. The announcement came as a shock to fans as well as to his own family. His wife said she never had a clue of him ever being Gay. "I'm clueless,&qu IDOL WORSHIP? FUNNY JOKE A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with crossed legs and a Chinese face, and every day my parents burn an incense stick before it." PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Funny satire stories about Prayer. Model prayer for all occasions discovered in Kansas. The Green Cathedral, Harrisburg, Kansas The Honorable Crowley Smitherson, asst. Minister From the Pulpit, Dear Friends, We've all had to enter the new modern age and leave behind some cherished ideas.

SHEEP FUNNY STORIES

Incidents of Sheep-Worrying at an All-Time Low. Conservative Minister, Regine Changer, has told reporters from the Chutney on the Fritz Times that, since lockdown began, no reports of sheep-worrying have bothered the desk of local policeman, Donald Plod. PRESIDENT TRUMP INCONTINENCE CLAIM Related Funny Stories President Trump Punches Woman In Face 13 July 2020; Kanye West Says He Wants To Become The First US President To Record A Number 1 Album 13 July 2020; President Trump Tweets From The White House Bunker (#1) 13 July 2020 Melania Trumps Says That She is 94% Sure That The President Will Drop Out of the Presidential Race 13 July 2020; Rudy Giuliani PICNIC FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST The Case Against Recreation - Part 22: Picnics. Picnics- involve the eating of meals in an outdoor setting such as a park. The procedure is quite simple: participants prepare the meal at home, pack it along with a table cloth, and maybe some folding chairs. BREAKING NEWS SNIPPETS FROM MAR 2021, HEADLINES, SATIRE Funny breaking news ticker, news snippets, news shorts, news briefs and headlines from Mar 2021 ALLIGATORS FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST The National Animal Rights Syndicate Is Demanding That Louisiana Muzzle All of Their Alligators and Crocodiles. PELICAN BALLS, Louisiana – (Satire News) - The National Animal Rights Syndicate known as NARS has just held their bi-yearly meeting and they have come up with a mandate that they want implemented within 2 weeks. PROFILE FOR HUMOR WRITER MATT BIRKENHAUER Screen Name: Matt Birkenhauer Matt Birkenhauer has published 419 items on The Spoof and is currently ranked 12th in the top writers table.. Check out Matt Birkenhauer's: 247 Spoof News Stories; 97 Spoof Snippets; 75 Jokes; Latest Spoof News Story: Sunday 30th May 2021 Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy Promotes Marjorie Taylor Greene to Newly Formed Committee GOD CALLING FUNNY JOKE While working for a local volunteer ambulance corp, we were responding to a call with lights and sirens, when we approached an elderly woman in her car right in front of us. LENO ADMITS HE WAS ONCE GAY Hollywood, CA-Late night talk show host Jay Leno revealed today that he used to be Gay. The announcement came as a shock to fans as well as to his own family. His wife said she never had a clue of him ever being Gay. "I'm clueless,&qu IDOL WORSHIP? FUNNY JOKE A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with crossed legs and a Chinese face, and every day my parents burn an incense stick before it." DOWNLOAD FREE EURO 2020 TOURNAMENT PLANNER HERE Are you planning to watch the Euro 2020 footballing competition? Well don't, until you've planned your viewing schedule using TheSpoof's own handy easy-to-use Euro 2020 footballing competition tournament planner. Geoff Ball explains. Simply wri FUTURE TRAVEL BY HOVERING WHILE EARTH ROTATES 15 hours ago · Futurist Ray Kurzweil yesterday predicted that anti-gravity technology will be mainstream by 2050, and that we will be using the technology for 99.9% of travel around the planet. Kurzweil unveiled his ideas at the annual conference sponsored by hi THE SIMILARITIES OF DONALD TRUMP VS MEGHAN MARKLE Related Funny Stories No Mystery About Harry 20 April 2021; Banksy reveals real reason why Trump lost the 2020 election 13 April 2021; The Pandemic Throws Us Another Ordeal - WE"RE RUNNING OUT OF KETCHUP! 09 April 2021 We Should Thank Donald Trump 05 April 2021; Micro News site changing its name to Megan's Opinion - I say what I like and I like what I say 04 April 2021 PSYCHIC RELAYS GOD'S PLAN FOR SAVING HUMANITY World famous psychic Rudy "Two Phones" Jackster announced his latest revelation yesterday afternoon to a riveted crowd of followers just outside his home in Jackson, Mississippi. He claims this transmission was straight from God, something he's d TRUMP BEAT SEXUAL ADVANCES BY PILLOW GUY MIKE LINDELL Pillow Guy Mike Lindell has had a few problems as of late, mostly legal and personal in nature it seems. The latest of his problems to come to light is he seems to have a physical attraction to former president Donald J. Trump. An observer close t "EL CHAPO" SPOTTED AT MCDONALD’S DRIVE-THRU BAYOU FUFU, Louisiana – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News, has just reported that the notorious drug lord Joaquin Archivaldo Guzman Loera, better Known as “El Chapo” was reportedly seen in line at a drive-thru window at a McDonald’s in Bayou Fufu, Louis

LION FUNNY STORIES

The Bronx Zoo Is Sending 5 Tigers and 3 Lions, that Have C-19, Back To Africa. THE BRONX, New York – The assistant director of the Bronx Zoo has just issued a news bulletin that eight of their big cats have tested positive for the Coronavirus. PICNIC FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST The Case Against Recreation - Part 22: Picnics. Picnics- involve the eating of meals in an outdoor setting such as a park. The procedure is quite simple: participants prepare the meal at home, pack it along with a table cloth, and maybe some folding chairs. 12 SILLY FOOTBALL LIMERICKS! FUNNY JOKE 1) There was a young player from Tottenham, His manners he'd gone and forgotten 'em. One day at the doc's He took off his socks, Because he complained he felt hot in 'em. RINDERCELLA AND HER SUGLY ISTERS. BY RONNY BARKER A Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling

shot.

PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Prayer Heals Decapitated Monkey. Biloxi, MI - In a shocking exhibition of the power of prayer, a decapitated rhesus monkey has miraculously healed completely following a group prayer service. The announcement came during a press conference Monday, October 3rd, 2011 by PRESIDENT TRUMP INCONTINENCE CLAIM It's been claimed in US political circles that the recent strange behavior and unexplained antics of President Donald Trump are down to a new health problem that he is experiencing - incontinence. Trump, 74, has been criticized all through his presidency, but even more so recently, after serious errors of judgement over the Coronavirus, and TRUMP U 2021 COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER: MIKE LINDELL Mike Lindell also known as “The Pillow Guy” will be the commencement speaker at Trump University holds its 2021 graduation ceremony. This year’s crop is rather thin as only four graduates will be receiving their diplomas. Insiders point to issues WAITING FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST The Longer Wait. The wait was supposed to be over for local waiting man Seaton Carew last Friday when he had to wait a short wait hoping to be told his fate. The fate for which he had to wait for so long. But instead he spent the morning waiting. He woke before the alarm and then waited for the alarm to sound. ALLIGATORS FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Brazilian Woman Finds Alligator Behind Sofa. A woman in the Northern Brazilian town of Parauapebas was shocked to find 5 foot alligator hiding behind her living room sofa. The housewife was apparently only alerted to the presence of the reptile by her son, who was patting its head shouting " Read full story. LENO ADMITS HE WAS ONCE GAY Hollywood, CA -Late night talk show host Jay Leno revealed today that he used to be Gay. The announcement came as a shock to fans as well as to his own family. His wife said she never had a clue of him ever being Gay. "I'm clueless," she said in a prepared statement. When asked how he first came to know that he was Gay, Leno stated, "I had WILL TRUMP CONTINUE TO RUN REPUBLICAN PARTY FROM JAIL The minority leader of the House, Kevin McCarthy, booted Liz Cheney out of her leadership position in the Republican Party for saying: Donald Trump did not win his last election. However, later that same day, when asked whether Joe Biden was the legally elected President of the United States, Kevin McCarthy replied, “Yes. GOD CALLING FUNNY JOKE God Calling While working for a local volunteer ambulance corp, we were responding to a call with lights and sirens, when we approached an elderly woman in her car right in front of us. Much to our annoyance nothing we did would make her get out of the way, until my driver got on the PA and said, "Please pull over to the right side." IDOL WORSHIP? FUNNY JOKE Idol worship? Submitted by IN SEINE. Thursday, 15 July 2010. Share. A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with

crossed

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? BRENTFORD NYLONS The 90 stores made a loss of £2.3 million in 1997. In the end, Brentford Nylons will always be remembered for two things: uncomfortable bed clothes and the Alan Freeman advertising campaign. Richard Perks of Verdict Research, said: "The Nylons part of the name always lingered and it was synonymous with nasty, sweaty sheets. PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Prayer Heals Decapitated Monkey. Biloxi, MI - In a shocking exhibition of the power of prayer, a decapitated rhesus monkey has miraculously healed completely following a group prayer service. The announcement came during a press conference Monday, October 3rd, 2011 by PRESIDENT TRUMP INCONTINENCE CLAIM It's been claimed in US political circles that the recent strange behavior and unexplained antics of President Donald Trump are down to a new health problem that he is experiencing - incontinence. Trump, 74, has been criticized all through his presidency, but even more so recently, after serious errors of judgement over the Coronavirus, and TRUMP U 2021 COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER: MIKE LINDELL Mike Lindell also known as “The Pillow Guy” will be the commencement speaker at Trump University holds its 2021 graduation ceremony. This year’s crop is rather thin as only four graduates will be receiving their diplomas. Insiders point to issues WAITING FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST The Longer Wait. The wait was supposed to be over for local waiting man Seaton Carew last Friday when he had to wait a short wait hoping to be told his fate. The fate for which he had to wait for so long. But instead he spent the morning waiting. He woke before the alarm and then waited for the alarm to sound. ALLIGATORS FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Brazilian Woman Finds Alligator Behind Sofa. A woman in the Northern Brazilian town of Parauapebas was shocked to find 5 foot alligator hiding behind her living room sofa. The housewife was apparently only alerted to the presence of the reptile by her son, who was patting its head shouting " Read full story. LENO ADMITS HE WAS ONCE GAY Hollywood, CA -Late night talk show host Jay Leno revealed today that he used to be Gay. The announcement came as a shock to fans as well as to his own family. His wife said she never had a clue of him ever being Gay. "I'm clueless," she said in a prepared statement. When asked how he first came to know that he was Gay, Leno stated, "I had WILL TRUMP CONTINUE TO RUN REPUBLICAN PARTY FROM JAIL The minority leader of the House, Kevin McCarthy, booted Liz Cheney out of her leadership position in the Republican Party for saying: Donald Trump did not win his last election. However, later that same day, when asked whether Joe Biden was the legally elected President of the United States, Kevin McCarthy replied, “Yes. GOD CALLING FUNNY JOKE God Calling While working for a local volunteer ambulance corp, we were responding to a call with lights and sirens, when we approached an elderly woman in her car right in front of us. Much to our annoyance nothing we did would make her get out of the way, until my driver got on the PA and said, "Please pull over to the right side." IDOL WORSHIP? FUNNY JOKE Idol worship? Submitted by IN SEINE. Thursday, 15 July 2010. Share. A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with

crossed

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? BRENTFORD NYLONS The 90 stores made a loss of £2.3 million in 1997. In the end, Brentford Nylons will always be remembered for two things: uncomfortable bed clothes and the Alan Freeman advertising campaign. Richard Perks of Verdict Research, said: "The Nylons part of the name always lingered and it was synonymous with nasty, sweaty sheets. DOWNLOAD FREE EURO 2020 TOURNAMENT PLANNER HERE Are you planning to watch the Euro 2020 footballing competition? Well don't, until you've planned your viewing schedule using TheSpoof's own handy easy-to-use Euro 2020 footballing competition tournament planner. Geoff Ball explains. Simply wri TRUMP U 2021 COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER: MIKE LINDELL Mike Lindell also known as “The Pillow Guy” will be the commencement speaker at Trump University holds its 2021 graduation ceremony. This year’s crop is rather thin as only four graduates will be receiving their diplomas. Insiders point to issues MEMORY FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST A diary of one man's (Using the term man lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 96 The Night of the Call-Out! The client requested two Security Officer to cover for the night, for their own guards who had both reported in sick. To cover a meeting/party of executives

party.

WUHAN LAB LEAK WAS MEANT TO HURT ONLY CHINA In the face of accusations that the National Institutes of Health funded dangerous gain of function research at the Wuhan Institute of Virology resulting in the outbreak of a novel new coronavirus, Anthony Fauci explained that the Wuhan lab leak was

SHEEP FUNNY STORIES

Two friends sleeped with 356,000 virgins. Two friends, Abbott and Connor, enjoyed fabulous careers as sheep herders for over 50 years. The friends, who just turned 70, teamed up with a documentary filmmaker and made a film about their experiences. According to ALLIGATORS FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST The National Animal Rights Syndicate Is Demanding That Louisiana Muzzle All of Their Alligators and Crocodiles. PELICAN BALLS, Louisiana – (Satire News) - The National Animal Rights Syndicate known as NARS has just held their bi-yearly meeting and they have come up with a mandate that they want implemented within 2 weeks. TRAE YOUNG GETS FULL OWNERSHIP OF NEW YORK KNICKS New York Knicks owner James Dolan, who most people know from the Spike Lee incident at Madison Square Garden, has awarded full ownership of the team to Atlanta Hawks point guard Trae Young. This includes Madison Square Garden, all copyrights, and all SATIRE SEARCH AND PARODY 1 day ago · The Spoof : Satire Search and Parody. Our search system is designed to help you find what you're looking for. Just type in a keyword below and we'll THE KKK AND OATH KEEPERS TO MERGE INTO THE KKKOK iRumors reports that the KKK has 6,107 members, while the Oath Keepers has 159.. Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors commented that the 159 Oathers are all presently being measured for KKK robes, KKK hoods, and KKK boxer shorts.. Meanwhile assistant Klan rally head of security Bubba “Bubba” Mucksuckee, III, said that he spoke to the Oath Keepers treasurer, and he will be transferring the OK’s KIM KARDASHIAN TO DIRECT DEPT. OF WOMEN’S RIGHTS WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – In a move that has the entire left coast state of California cheering with joyous joy, the oldest of the 5 Kardashian sisters has been chosen by President Biden to head up the newly-formed Department of Women’s Righ PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Funny satire stories about Prayer. Model prayer for all occasions discovered in Kansas. The Green Cathedral, Harrisburg, Kansas The Honorable Crowley Smitherson, asst. Minister From the Pulpit, Dear Friends, We've all had to enter the new modern age and leave behind some cherished ideas. FEAR FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST 10 most frightening sounds on Earth. The Phone votes are counted and the lines are now closed. The most blood curdling sounds known to man

are as voted:

PRESIDENT TRUMP INCONTINENCE CLAIM Related Funny Stories President Trump Punches Woman In Face 13 July 2020; Kanye West Says He Wants To Become The First US President To Record A Number 1 Album 13 July 2020; President Trump Tweets From The White House Bunker (#1) 13 July 2020 Melania Trumps Says That She is 94% Sure That The President Will Drop Out of the Presidential Race 13 July 2020; Rudy Giuliani AUTUMN FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Funny satire stories about Autumn. How to survive rain in Autumn. If you are putting a coat on your child, make sure you write to the BBC first or the regulatory body which controls the manufacture of rain.

SHEEP FUNNY STORIES

Incidents of Sheep-Worrying at an All-Time Low. Conservative Minister, Regine Changer, has told reporters from the Chutney on the Fritz Times that, since lockdown began, no reports of sheep-worrying have bothered the desk of local policeman, Donald Plod. WAITING FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Waiting for Something Else. Having missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime in waiting, a trip to Chile to participate in the monumental wait for the miners to find their way back to the surface, one time local man, Seaton Carew, has decided to embark on a new waiting adventure of his own. IDOL WORSHIP? FUNNY JOKE A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with crossed legs and a Chinese face, and every day my parents burn an incense stick before it." GOD CALLING FUNNY JOKE While working for a local volunteer ambulance corp, we were responding to a call with lights and sirens, when we approached an elderly woman in her car right in front of us. LENO ADMITS HE WAS ONCE GAY Hollywood, CA-Late night talk show host Jay Leno revealed today that he used to be Gay. The announcement came as a shock to fans as well as to his own family. His wife said she never had a clue of him ever being Gay. "I'm clueless,&qu WHERE ARE THEY NOW? BRENTFORD NYLONS Those were the days or rather the nights. The nights when you and your blonde teenage girlfriend would indulge in carnal pleasures, all snug and warm in her single bed in Willesden with its Brentford Nylons fitted sheets and pillow case. PRAYER FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Funny satire stories about Prayer. Model prayer for all occasions discovered in Kansas. The Green Cathedral, Harrisburg, Kansas The Honorable Crowley Smitherson, asst. Minister From the Pulpit, Dear Friends, We've all had to enter the new modern age and leave behind some cherished ideas. FEAR FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST 10 most frightening sounds on Earth. The Phone votes are counted and the lines are now closed. The most blood curdling sounds known to man

are as voted:

PRESIDENT TRUMP INCONTINENCE CLAIM Related Funny Stories President Trump Punches Woman In Face 13 July 2020; Kanye West Says He Wants To Become The First US President To Record A Number 1 Album 13 July 2020; President Trump Tweets From The White House Bunker (#1) 13 July 2020 Melania Trumps Says That She is 94% Sure That The President Will Drop Out of the Presidential Race 13 July 2020; Rudy Giuliani AUTUMN FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Funny satire stories about Autumn. How to survive rain in Autumn. If you are putting a coat on your child, make sure you write to the BBC first or the regulatory body which controls the manufacture of rain.

SHEEP FUNNY STORIES

Incidents of Sheep-Worrying at an All-Time Low. Conservative Minister, Regine Changer, has told reporters from the Chutney on the Fritz Times that, since lockdown began, no reports of sheep-worrying have bothered the desk of local policeman, Donald Plod. WAITING FUNNY STORIES, ORDERED BY MOST RECENT FIRST Waiting for Something Else. Having missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime in waiting, a trip to Chile to participate in the monumental wait for the miners to find their way back to the surface, one time local man, Seaton Carew, has decided to embark on a new waiting adventure of his own. IDOL WORSHIP? FUNNY JOKE A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with crossed legs and a Chinese face, and every day my parents burn an incense stick before it." GOD CALLING FUNNY JOKE While working for a local volunteer ambulance corp, we were responding to a call with lights and sirens, when we approached an elderly woman in her car right in front of us. LENO ADMITS HE WAS ONCE GAY Hollywood, CA-Late night talk show host Jay Leno revealed today that he used to be Gay. The announcement came as a shock to fans as well as to his own family. His wife said she never had a clue of him ever being Gay. "I'm clueless,&qu WHERE ARE THEY NOW? BRENTFORD NYLONS Those were the days or rather the nights. The nights when you and your blonde teenage girlfriend would indulge in carnal pleasures, all snug and warm in her single bed in Willesden with its Brentford Nylons fitted sheets and pillow case.

THE SPOOF

The Sports Bet Gazette has compiled a list of the worst race horse names in the history of horse racing. SBG reporters Zorro La Bamba and Woody Velcro compiled the list along, with the help of former spaghetti western movie star Clint Eastwood.

SATIRE WRITING

The Spoof - login as a satire writer. This login is for The Spoof writers. If you would like to become a news writer for this site, and if you have an interest in spoof news or satire writing and have not yet registered, please click here to learn more about becoming a writer or register now!.. If you have previously registered for access to the Writers' Desk, please login here: 4 JUN 2021 SPOOF NEWS STORIES Trump sets Ted Cruz's house on fire to wrap up bullying session; Cruz says "it was an honor" It may be an understatement to say it was a challenging evening for Senator Ted Cruz as he and wife Heidi opened their home for a visit with the Trumps. 3 JUN 2021 SPOOF NEWS STORIES Kim Kardashian is Tapped By President Joe Biden To Be The Director of The Newly Formed Department of Women’s Rights. WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – In a move that has the entire left coast state of California cheering with joyous joy, the oldest of the 5 Kardashian sisters has been chosen by President Biden to head up the newly-formed Department of Women’s Righ US CITIZENS MANDATED TO WEAR 3 MASKS AT ALL TIMES 10 hours ago · Citing a recent upsurge in the number of COVID-19 cases, the Center for Disease Control has issued a tightening of safety precautions out of an over-abundance of caution. All US citizens must wear 3 levels of protection AT ALL TIMES. It must cove BIGFOOT SPOTTED DRINKING IN UPSTATE BAR, LEFT A STRANGE 10 hours ago · Patrons thought last night was just another night at The Backroom Lounge just outside Rochester. Very few noticed the “giant hairy guy” who sat brooding in a far corner, beyond the pool table, by the Men’s bathroom. “He kept his head down and lo PSYCHIC RELAYS GOD'S PLAN FOR SAVING HUMANITY 8 hours ago · World famous psychic Rudy "Two Phones" Jackster announced his latest revelation yesterday afternoon to a riveted crowd of followers just outside his home in Jackson, Mississippi. He claims this transmission was straight from God, something he's d NEW YORK JETS CHANGE UNIFORM COLORS 11 hours ago · NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – Word coming out of the Jets hierarchy says that after the team’s dismal (2-14) record last year, the powers-that-be feel that they have to make a drastic change. Spokesperson Zeke Weatherwine, 91, said that severa TRUMP SAYS HE'LL BE BACK IN WHITE HOUSE BY AUGUST 8 hours ago · Related Funny Stories Trump sets Ted Cruz's house on fire to wrap up bullying session; Cruz says "it was an honor" 04 June 2021 Psychic relays God's Plan for saving humanity: All out war between Wokers, Cancelers, PCs and Trump supporters 04 June 2021; Facebook And Twitter Ban The Road Runner 03 June 2021; Russian scientists discover formula for shrinking people: Reports say KEVIN MCCARTHY ON RUMORS PUTIN SENT HIM "FREE" VODKA 10 hours ago · NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) – Senator Kevin McCarthy appeared on "The View," and he was asked to address the rumor that he recently received 75 bottles of vodka from the Kremlin at no cost to him. McCarthy, told co-host Whoopi Goldberg that, yes SPOOF NEWS AND SATIRE

15 August 2019

HARRY MAGUIRE SAYS HE DIDN'T SIGN LAST SEASON BECAUSE JOSE MOURINHO

WAS MANAGER

Manchester United central defender, Harry Maguire has revealed the real reason he didn't sign for the club a year ago, when Jose Mourinho was the Reds' boss: Jose Mourinho. Maguire, 26, had been on the United radar for the last two summer breaks,... Sport Read full story HARRY MAGUIRE INVOLVED IN STRANGE INCIDENT BEFORE MATCH ON SUNDAY Manchester United's £80million defender, Harry Maguire, has revealed details of a strange incident in the changing room before Sunday's Premier League opener against Chelsea, when the star's head was too big to fit through the headhole in his shirt. Sport Read full story HARRY MAGUIRE IS SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THE STUPID MADE-UP STORIES

ABOUT HIM

Manchester United's new £80million star, Harry Maguire, has said he is absolutely "fed up to the back teeth" of all the stories about him circulating on the internet, in which there is absolutely no truth whatsoever. Maguire, 26, signed for United... UK Headlines Read full story IS GARETH BALE ON HIS WAY TO HULL CITY? Gareth Bale, the Real Madrid and Wales footballer, who has fallen out of favour at the Bernabeu Stadium, may have found the ideal club with which to play out the rest of his career - Hull City. Bale, 30, is a man who knows what he likes, and he li... Sport Read full story MAN TARGETED BY CATHETER AD A writer who frequents a satirical news website has told of how he believes he is being targeted by a company that supplies catheters, in the hope that he will buy one. Moys Kenwood, 56, a writer at TheSpoof.com, was looking at the site just now,... World News Read full story HARRY MAGUIRE GIVEN GO-AHEAD TO STAY IN BED LATE ON

MONDAY MORNING

BROOKLYN MAN REALIZES IT'S NOT HIS MOTHER TO BLAME FOR ALL HIS PROBLEMS; IT'S HIS FATHER HARRY MAGUIRE UPSET AT WAY SOCIAL MEDIA TOSSERS KEEP SPELLING HIS NAME WRONG HARRY MAGUIRE THE VICTIM OF SLIDING TACKLE NEAR MANCHESTER ARNDALE CENTRE BOEING OFFERS WHITE HOUSE “BUY TWO GET THREE” AIR

FORCE ONE DEAL

NEOCONS

DISMAYED TO REALIZE NEW "PUBLIC CHARGE" RULE MEANS IMMIGRANTS MAY TAKE JOBS AMERICANS ACTUALLY WANT HARRY MAGUIRE: MANCHESTER UNITED TO TRADE, SELL HIM TO LOS ANGELES GALAXY? STATUE OF LIBERTY POEM TO BE RE-WRITTEN AS PART OF NEW IMMIGRANT PROGRAM NASHVILLE MAN RELUCTANTLY DECIDES TO GO EXTINCT HARRY MAGUIRE BOOKMAKERS' FAVOURITE TO BE UK CHARTS CHRISTMAS NUMBER 1 AMBITIOUS MILLENNIAL OPENS BAR IN PARENTS' BASEMENT

BANKS

CLAIM THEIR RIGHT TO CREATE A FINANCIAL CRISIS AND GET BAILED OUT BY TAXPAYERS IS UNFAIRLY LIMITED BY FED

Breaking news…

SORRY, YOU CAN'T GO BACK ANY FURTHER! It's not always possible to go back to the previous snippet, but you should come across it again if you keep going forwards. Or, you can try to find it in the Snippet Archive Bridge Burner Now Proud Owner Of Private Island "Sure, there's nobody around," the viaduct arsonist told reporters, "but just think of what it'll look like once the smoke clears!" Beto O'Rourke Plans Major Announcement Will apologize for his past 46 years. Wal-Mart Meat Too Bloody For Shoppers Customers of the popular grocery store claim the company's meat "looks like it's been through some sort of massacre." Booker Tries Out For Moonlighting Gig in Europe But Is Axed Sen. Booker, wanting campaign funds, auditioned for a Don Limpio (Mr. Clean) commercial in Spain, but didn't make the cut. On set he kept screaming "Yo soy Spartacus!" and didn't pass the IQ minimum. Bill hits a home run Bill Clinton's name has been cleared from the Epstein scandal after he said: "I did not have sexual relations with those girls.." Joe Biden reads about Epstein suicide, sends condolences to the cast of "Welcome Back, Kotter." Adds "The black guy was just as smart as those rich kids!" Jeffrey Epstein Found Dead in Cell The financier, awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges had 12 shanks stuck in his back and a garotte fastened around his neck. "Clearly a case of suicide," Governor tells newsmen.

Bedtime Conundrum

Spent the whole day prepping for my colonoscopy. Now I can’t decide whether to brush my ass or my teeth. White House To Begin Using Craigslist for Employee Search "We need to keep up with all the firings and people quitting. First job to fill is Press Secretary." Man Sued for Blinding Drivers A man has found himself the defendant in a class-action suit by drivers who claim his waxed bald head caused them to wreck their vehicles while passing him in oncoming traffic due to its bright

sheen.

Doctor Repurposes Foreskin for Sideline Business A Florida obstetrician has begun saving foreskin from daily circumcisions at his office to make expandable travelbags. These bags grow from toiletry size to extra large suitcases by simply stroking

them.

Bordertown Man Abducted by Aliens Texas man reported to authorities he was abducted by aliens while repairing a fence. The man claimed aliens forced him into a Chevy MonteCarlo lowrider and made him buy them Corona beer and street

tacos.

Woman Wastes a Fortune on Anal Bleaching A lady who recently bleached her anus had to have it redone after falling asleep while nude sunbathing on her stomach. Seems anuses tan quickly when exposed to sunlight. Trump Son Eric Given His Own Brand New Cell Phone Eric is still on probation, so is only allowed to retweet his father's tweets, and text when late. Trump Fires Daughter For Disloyalty "Cartier, I mean Tiffany, knows she hasn't been pulling her weight and so she's fired" said Trump. "Bubba" Clinton to Graciously Assist Those Women with Post-Epstein Traumatic Stress Disorder Ex-Pres opened the Little Rock Clinton Pres-Library to help 'counsel' those women victimized by Epstein. "Bubba" will 'share their pain' in frequent close encounter sessions on the Penthouse waterbed. Jeffrey Epstein Offers to Give Homes to All Underage Girls in Trump's Immigration Concentration Camps Labor Sec Alex Acosta says that it is good community service that will help rehabilitate Epstein. U.S. Women's Soccer Team To Run Against Trump in 2020 "We hate Trump and Trump hates us. We plan to run the country as a team once we win," said the team. Stranger Things Season 3 Is All About Trump's White House "We tried to do something different, but we found nothing strange compared to Trump's strangeness." Kanye West Samples Stairway to Heaven He actually samples the whole song and doesn't add anything to it.

Currently popular

Shared

Pick

Read

Rated

* Harry Maguire Says He Didn't Sign Last Season Because Jose Mourinho Was Manager * Is Gareth Bale On His Way To Hull City? * Brooklyn Man Realizes It's Not His Mother to Blame for All His Problems; It's His Father * Man Targeted By Catheter Ad * Manchester United Give Harry Maguire Captain's Armband * Harry Maguire The Victim Of Sliding Tackle Near Manchester Arndale

Centre

* Boeing offers White House “buy two get three” Air Force One

deal

* Statue of Liberty poem to be re-written as part of new immigrant

program

* Harry Maguire Is Sick And Tired Of All The Stupid Made-up Stories

About Him

* Harry Maguire Involved In Strange Incident Before Match On Sunday * Harry Maguire Says He Didn't Sign Last Season Because Jose Mourinho Was Manager * Man Targeted By Catheter Ad * Is Gareth Bale On His Way To Hull City? * Brooklyn Man Realizes It's Not His Mother to Blame for All His Problems; It's His Father * Manchester United Give Harry Maguire Captain's Armband * Harry Maguire The Victim Of Sliding Tackle Near Manchester Arndale

Centre

* Boeing offers White House “buy two get three” Air Force One

deal

* Statue of Liberty poem to be re-written as part of new immigrant

program

* Harry Maguire Is Sick And Tired Of All The Stupid Made-up Stories

About Him

* Harry Maguire Involved In Strange Incident Before Match On Sunday * Harry Maguire Says He Didn't Sign Last Season Because Jose Mourinho Was Manager * Brooklyn Man Realizes It's Not His Mother to Blame for All His Problems; It's His Father * Harry Maguire The Victim Of Sliding Tackle Near Manchester Arndale

Centre

* Fans Say Billie Eilish Sounds Like Lorde * Is Gareth Bale On His Way To Hull City? * Man Targeted By Catheter Ad * Manchester United Give Harry Maguire Captain's Armband * Boeing offers White House “buy two get three” Air Force One

deal

* Statue of Liberty poem to be re-written as part of new immigrant

program

* Harry Maguire Is Sick And Tired Of All The Stupid Made-up Stories

About Him

* Real Madrid sign Cristiano Ronaldo for £1 trillion! * Tweeting Divorce Plans Now Subject to Pre-nup Rules * 2 Girls 1 Cup Actress Dies at 22 * Fire And Fury Was A Spell-Check Typo, Says Trump * Brooklyn Man Realizes It's Not His Mother to Blame for All His Problems; It's His Father * Man Targeted By Catheter Ad * Boeing offers White House “buy two get three” Air Force One

deal

* Statue of Liberty poem to be re-written as part of new immigrant

program

* Neocons Dismayed to Realize New "Public Charge" Rule Means Immigrants May Take Jobs Americans Actually Want * Fans Say Billie Eilish Sounds Like Lorde Can't decide? Get a random spoof news story!

TRENDING HEADLINES

*

WASHINGTON POST EXPLAINS THAT OWNER JEFF BEZOS GENEROUSLY ALLOWS REPORTERS TO ACT FULLY INDEPENDENTLY

*

TRUMP, GOP THRILLED AS BARR PROMISES TO “INVESTIGATE CLINTON MURDERS, TOOTH FAIRY AND EASTER BUNNY SOON”

*

NEUROTIC NEW YORKERS DEBATE WHO'S MOST ANXIOUS

*

GUY UNABLE TO HIDE A SINGLE BJ IN OVAL OFFICE AMAZINGLY KILLED DOZENS WITH WIFE, LEFT ZERO EVIDENCE OR WITNESSES

*

BORIS JOHNSON TARGETS DEAD VOTERS FOR THE NEXT ELECTION

*

EPSTEIN BODY NOT HIS: EL CHAPO WAS LAST CELLMATE

*

RESIDENTS OF STORM-STRICKEN PUERTO RICO REMAIN UNABLE TO OBTAIN INSULIN, COCA COLA AND SPAM

*

FANS SAY BILLIE EILISH SOUNDS LIKE LORDE

*

BATHROOM GRAFFITI LEADS TO EXISTENTIAL BREAKTHROUGH

*

PRINCE ANDREW’S DEPLETED UKRAINIAN BILLIONAIRE CHUM ESCORTED FROM

BALMORAL

*

SERENA WILLIAMS RETIRES FROM TENNIS

*

JEFFREY EPSTEIN’S HOLE-IN-ONE AT TRUMP CREEPY HOLLOW

WORLD NEWS

*

PRINCE ANDREW IMPASSIVE OVER JEFFREY EPSTEIN DEATH

*

HARRY MAGUIRE TO READ THE NEWS AT TEN

*

CELEBRITY MILLIONAIRE INSPIRES GLOBAL ELITES WITH BUM-SLAPPING ANTICS

ABOARD HIS YACHT

*

RUSSIAN PERVERTS 'MOST DEPRAVED IN THE WORLD' BOASTS PUTIN

*

NUMBER OF ATTRACTIVE WOMEN DESPERATE TO HAVE SEX WITH LOSERS FROM THE INTERNET SET TO SOAR IN 2020

*

STORMING AREA 51...NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA! ENTERTAINMENT & GOSSIP

*

HARRY MAGUIRE TO STAR AS THE NEXT JAMES BOND

*

HARRY MAGUIRE TO ARM WRESTLE NOEL EDMONDS IN BATTLE TO HOST 'DEAL OR

NO DEAL' COMEBACK

*

HARRY MAGUIRE NOW MORE POPULAR THAN HARRY POTTER, GOOGLE SEARCH

REVEALS

*

IS THERE A PEDOPHILE INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX?

*

HARRY MAGUIRE INSPIRATION BEHIND RE-RELEASE OF SHAM 69 SINGLE 'HURRY

UP, HARRY'

*

TIM THE FORGETFUL BADGER SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY

*

HARRY MAGUIRE TO PUSH SOME BUTTONS ON THE HADRON COLLIDER

*

DON'T FORGET TO SET YOUR CLOCKS BACK ONE HOUR, THEN AHEAD ONE HOUR

*

ICELAND IS MELTING

*

STUDENT ALLOWED TO EAT A MENTOS MINT, THEN DRINK COKE, "IN THE NAME OF

SCIENCE"

*

WEATHER FORECAST FOR TODAY

*

TEACHER SPENT ENTIRE TERM TRYING TO TEACH STUDENTS ABOUT TOKEN SEA

CREATURES

SPORT HEADLINES

*

MANCHESTER UNITED GIVE HARRY MAGUIRE CAPTAIN'S ARMBAND

*

MANCHESTER UNITED MANAGER OLE GUNNAR SOLSKJAER'S HEAD IS GETTING

SMALLER

*

HARRY MAGUIRE TO BUY SOME NEW FOOTBALL BOOTS

*

HARRY MAGUIRE'S PREMIER LEAGUE PREDICTIONS

*

ALL FOREIGNERS SOUND THE BLOODY SAME, SAYS UK ATHLETICS BOSS

*

THE LATEST WRESTLING PAY-PERVIEW MATCHES AND RESULTS

BUSINESS BRIEF

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BUSINESS NEWS: GOLDMAN SACHS EMPLOYEES TO BE ALLOWED TO CARRY OUT DUTIES WITH THEIR COCKS OUT

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BUSINESS ROUNDUP WITH THE MONEY

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DELIVEROO EXPANDS OPERATIONS TO CATER FOR LUNAR EXPLORERS

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TRUMP REPEALS NEWTON'S LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS

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"THIS LITTLE PIGGY:" WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO THE LITTLE PIGGIES

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CHINESE TAKEAWAY MENU

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COULD CTHULHU BE DONALD TRUMP'S REAL NAME?

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