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SLATE MAGAZINE
Online magazine of news, politics, technology, and culture. Combines humor and insight in thoughtful analyses of current events andpolitical news.
WHY IS MERRICK GARLAND DEFENDING DONALD TRUMP? On Monday, the Justice Department took its most controversial position yet under Attorney General Merrick Garland, when lawyers for the department confirmed that they will continue to defend RECENTLY IN PAY DIRT Everything on Slate about Pay Dirt. I Struggle to Pay Our Bills. My Husband Just Bought His Dream Car.ADVICE - SLATE
I Had an Explosive Affair With a Co-Worker. Now He’s Back, and Something Has Gone Very Wrong THE CHIP SHORTAGE: WHY IT'S HAPPENING AND WHEN CAR AND Semiconductors are the chips that manage functions like data storage, graphic rendering, and power consumption in electrical devices. Theyare
JOE BIDEN 100 DAYS SCANDALS, RANKED. Friday is the 100 th day of Joe Biden’s term. Traditionally, this period of a presidency involves media discussion of honeymoons,mandates, and
DEAR PRUDENCE
Dear Prudence is Slate's advice column, where Prudie responds to your questions about relationships at home, work, and beyond. COULD MICHAEL FLYNN BE COURT-MARTIALED FOR ADVOCATING A COUP? War Stories How the Military Should Deal With Its Michael Flynn Problem A retired three-star general and former national security adviser supporting a military coup is reckless and disgraceful. HOW TO THINK ABOUT AND HANDLE THIS SIDE EFFECT. There’s a pretty simple explanation for why people experience some soreness around the injection site. Ashley Z. Ritter, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Pennsylvania and the chief COVID VACCINE SIDE EFFECTS: MY WEEK OF HORROR AND JOY Vaccine Diaries is a series of dispatches exploring the rollout of COVID-19 immunizations. “That’s it?” “That’s it.” The woman injecting my second dose of Moderna COVID-19 vaccineSLATE MAGAZINE
Online magazine of news, politics, technology, and culture. Combines humor and insight in thoughtful analyses of current events andpolitical news.
WHY IS MERRICK GARLAND DEFENDING DONALD TRUMP? On Monday, the Justice Department took its most controversial position yet under Attorney General Merrick Garland, when lawyers for the department confirmed that they will continue to defend RECENTLY IN PAY DIRT Everything on Slate about Pay Dirt. I Struggle to Pay Our Bills. My Husband Just Bought His Dream Car. MEGHAN MARKLE AND PRINCE HARRY BABY NAME EXPLAINED: WHAT’S The daughter that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry announced they were expecting a few months ago—her impending arrival was just one revelation that came outADVICE - SLATE
I Had an Explosive Affair With a Co-Worker. Now He’s Back, and Something Has Gone Very WrongDEAR PRUDENCE
Dear Prudence is Slate's advice column, where Prudie responds to your questions about relationships at home, work, and beyond. THE CHIP SHORTAGE: WHY IT'S HAPPENING AND WHEN CAR AND Semiconductors are the chips that manage functions like data storage, graphic rendering, and power consumption in electrical devices. Theyare
HOW TO THINK ABOUT AND HANDLE THIS SIDE EFFECT. There’s a pretty simple explanation for why people experience some soreness around the injection site. Ashley Z. Ritter, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Pennsylvania and the chief COVID VACCINE SIDE EFFECTS: MY WEEK OF HORROR AND JOY Vaccine Diaries is a series of dispatches exploring the rollout of COVID-19 immunizations. “That’s it?” “That’s it.” The woman injecting my second dose of Moderna COVID-19 vaccine COULD MICHAEL FLYNN BE COURT-MARTIALED FOR ADVOCATING A COUP? War Stories How the Military Should Deal With Its Michael Flynn Problem A retired three-star general and former national security adviser supporting a military coup is reckless and disgraceful.NEWS AND POLITICS
Online magazine of news, politics, technology, and culture. Combines humor and insight in thoughtful analyses of current events andpolitical news.
INFLATION AND CPI: THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO KNOW ABOUT 12 hours ago · To understand what’s happening with inflation at the moment, you have to dig a tiny bit. For the past two months, the cost of living has been rising quickly. In May, the Consumer PriceIndex
COULD THE NEW YORK TIMES HAVE PREVENTED 9/11? 11 hours ago · This article is adapted from “Judy,” the seventh episode of Slow Burn’s fifth season. In 2001, Stephen Engelberg was the investigations editor for the New York Times. One of his reporters DID THE KARDASHIANS’ RELATIONSHIP WITH BLACKNESS IMPROVE 13 hours ago · On this week’s episode of the Waves, Robin Boylorn and Allegra Frank talk about the end of an era, the series finale of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. The reality show airs its finalepisode
IN THE HEIGHTS MOVIE CAMEOS: MARC ANTHONY, VALENTINA, MERO 10 hours ago · In the Heights may be based on a beloved musical that debuted on Broadway more than a decade ago, but even if you’ve seen the show, the new film adaptation in HOW TO THINK ABOUT AND HANDLE THIS SIDE EFFECT. There’s a pretty simple explanation for why people experience some soreness around the injection site. Ashley Z. Ritter, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Pennsylvania and the chief COVID VACCINE SIDE EFFECTS: MY WEEK OF HORROR AND JOY Vaccine Diaries is a series of dispatches exploring the rollout of COVID-19 immunizations. “That’s it?” “That’s it.” The woman injecting my second dose of Moderna COVID-19 vaccine IS BIDEN SETTING HARRIS UP TO FAIL? 1 day ago · If you look at the assignments Kamala Harris has been given during her tenure as vice president, it’s pretty easy to think that she’s getting the short end of the political stick. First, she I’M WEALTHY, AND I WANT MY GIRLFRIEND TO QUIT HER MENIAL 1 day ago · I’m a 55-year-old divorced college professor who earns $140,000 a year (plus interest, dividends, and royalties). I have around $3.5 million in investments, home equity, and savings, so I am MY SON’S GIRLFRIEND WON’T TAKE THE HINT THAT I HATE HER I hate my son’s girlfriend of 13 years. They are high school sweethearts who are now 30 and talking about buying property and eventually starting a family together. He currently lives at home We Use Cookies and Related Technology Slate and our partners use cookies and related technology to deliver relevant advertising on our site, in emails and across the Internet. We and our partners also use these technologies to personalize content and perform site analytics. You can change your mind and choices at any time by accessing your Settings. For more information, see our termsand privacy policy
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I AM VERY SAD JUSTIN BIEBER’S DISGUSTING MUSTACHE IS GONEBy Heather Schwedel
Feb 19, 20201:59 PM
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Look at that disgusting beauty. Cindy Ord/Getty Images RECENTLY IN BROW BEAT * Here’s What’s Disappearing From Netflix in March * Meet the _Conan _Staffer Who Has to Raise Andy Richter From Infancy to Adulthood Every Single Day * What It’s Like to Describe Porn for a Blind Audience * More People Are Seeking Out Alcohol-Free Recipes. Cocktail Book Authors Are Taking Notice. When Justin Bieber shaved off the mustache he’d been sporting throughout the promotional tour for his new album,_ Changes_,
this weekend, not only did fans rejoice, but so did the singer’s intimates: “Yeeeeee,” his wife, Hailey Bieber, née Baldwin, commented on his Instagram announcement. (“Yeeeeee” is good. Well, depends on context, but here it’s good.) “Ya praise God,” his mother, Pattie Mallette, added. Outletseverywhere reported
the news
with relief: Our long national facial hair nightmare was over. Mustaches die and sprout every day, sunrise, sunset, and we can’t
boo-hoo over every fallen set of hairs. But despite the widespread celebration surrounding this mustache’s disappearance, I must admit that I’m going to miss it. I’m not trying to defend the mustache per se—it was objectively disgusting, and I don’t begrudge the entire world for hating it and calling for its death. You looked at it and you could only see a man who should be playing a goon in the movie _I, Tonya_. But that won’t stop me from lamenting the loss of whatit represented.
Here’s what I liked about the mustache: Bieber was having fun with it. A source told People that he was “amused” by how much people hated it: “The more people want him to shave it off, the more he wants to keep it. It’s staying for now. It’s making him feel like a rebel and he likes it!” An insider echoed these comments to Page Six:
“He feels that for years he’s been the pretty boy and loves how much everyone hates it and thinks it’s hilarious … He doesn’t even like it himself, but the more people hate it the longer he wantsto keep it.”
You see, Bieber knew the mustache sucked. He was just trolling! This attitude reached its height when Bieber posed for a photo with @dudewithsign , a popular Instagram account wherein a guy posts pictures of himself holding up pithy protest signs. In this photo, the dude who helms the account held up a sign reading “Justin Shave Your Mustache,” and next to him stood Bieber himself holding a sign that said, simply, “No.” I’m sorry, I just love it. I know trolling is frowned upon under many circumstances, but I personally think Bieber deserves this one. As much as he tries to project the image of himself as some kind of cool dirtbag who loves his sexy wife and God, but in a chill way, the sad, needy child star within him always seems to be lurking somewhere too close to the surface. I worry that everyone in his life is using him, and as Slate’s Carl Wilson wrote,
it can be especially hard “to feel confident he’s going to be OK.” In this light, mustache trolling seems like a much healthier coping mechanism for dealing with the scars of child stardom than a lot of the stuff Bieber used to get up to. I thought the mustache was going to become a long-term bit, even more so than it already was—a low-key ongoing thread for pop culture to latch onto for months, or even years. It was the kind of thing that could even reach the level of performance art. I wanted viral clips from an Ellen interview and _Saturday Night Live_ sketches about the mustache. (Pete Davidson would have been sick in these sketches.) But it was not to be: Bieber abruptly dashed these dreams when he took clippers to the thing a few days ago, posting a photo where he labeled himself “Baby face BIEB.” Ultimately, he couldn’t not give his legion of fans and admirers what they wanted from him. Why couldn’t we just let him have this? He did leave the door slightly ajar, at least, for future facial hair antics, writing in the caption, “MUSTASHIO went on holiday, but he will be back in due time.” From his lips to God’s ears back to his upper lips. Some sunny day, I hope the two meet again.* Tweet
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