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GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits. Not everyone wants to sift through every single blog post, and let’s face it, some are more awesome than others. So I’m releasing Single Girl Blogging’s Greatest Hits, enabling you fair weather fans to get straight to the goodies. ABOUT ME – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING About Me. Whoa. Filling out this section is about as painful as filling out an online dating profile. Anyone who has ever filled out an online dating profile will totally get my pain.. Here’s the thing: I can’t decide if this is a humor blog or a singles blog.FEATURED ON
54 Thoughts That Go Through A Girl’s Head When Texting a New Crush.True Story.
MEN COULD YOU PLEASE STOP CALLING WOMEN PSYCHO? When it comes to the battle between men and women, it’s never pretty. Every single day, men bitch about women, women bitch about men, and we drive each other insane in the membrane. In short, we pretty much hate each other. Except for the sex part. But there is one word that men use to THE SMART WOMAN’S GUIDE TO CHOOSING A F*CK BUDDY The Smart Woman’s Guide to Choosing a F*ck Buddy. Whether you’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship, are busy at work or simply want to “do you” for a while, there comes a time in every woman’s life when you just don’t want a serious relationship. HOW I LEARNED WHAT HUMP MEANT How I Learned What Hump Meant. When I was a child, I was quite shy and what some would call a “good girl.” My mother was very strict with a side order of crazy, so I always thought if I was bad, something dreadful would happen. HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE FOR GUYS WHO ARE NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND YET A flask, a beer mug, a respectable bottle of booze. A brick of cocaine. Kidding. That’s WAY too expensive. Many women are natural-born givers. Resist this urge. Giving too much to a man who is not your boyfriend can easily freak him out. Remember, you’re a woman. You can easily make up for it with sex. WAX ON, WAX OUUUUUCH! Well, folks, hell has officially frozen over. I have done gone and got myself a new-fashioned bikini waxing. That’s right, kids, I’m bald. In my first blog post, I lamented how before I was married, men seemed to be perfectly accepting of female pubic hair. Now, evidently, it is disgusting. I protested bald punani for I RESPONDED TO EVERYONE WHO MESSAGED ME ON OKCUPID AND I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened. There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested.Sounds pretty simple and straightforward, right? SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING To kick off the year we’ve got an awesome guest post from the awesomer Beth O’Donnell of Single and the Sweet Side of 40. She’s telling a sad, By Naomi Lane on December 22, 2014 • ( 42 Comments)
GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits. Not everyone wants to sift through every single blog post, and let’s face it, some are more awesome than others. So I’m releasing Single Girl Blogging’s Greatest Hits, enabling you fair weather fans to get straight to the goodies. ABOUT ME – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING About Me. Whoa. Filling out this section is about as painful as filling out an online dating profile. Anyone who has ever filled out an online dating profile will totally get my pain.. Here’s the thing: I can’t decide if this is a humor blog or a singles blog.FEATURED ON
54 Thoughts That Go Through A Girl’s Head When Texting a New Crush.True Story.
MEN COULD YOU PLEASE STOP CALLING WOMEN PSYCHO? When it comes to the battle between men and women, it’s never pretty. Every single day, men bitch about women, women bitch about men, and we drive each other insane in the membrane. In short, we pretty much hate each other. Except for the sex part. But there is one word that men use to THE SMART WOMAN’S GUIDE TO CHOOSING A F*CK BUDDY The Smart Woman’s Guide to Choosing a F*ck Buddy. Whether you’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship, are busy at work or simply want to “do you” for a while, there comes a time in every woman’s life when you just don’t want a serious relationship. HOW I LEARNED WHAT HUMP MEANT How I Learned What Hump Meant. When I was a child, I was quite shy and what some would call a “good girl.” My mother was very strict with a side order of crazy, so I always thought if I was bad, something dreadful would happen. HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE FOR GUYS WHO ARE NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND YET A flask, a beer mug, a respectable bottle of booze. A brick of cocaine. Kidding. That’s WAY too expensive. Many women are natural-born givers. Resist this urge. Giving too much to a man who is not your boyfriend can easily freak him out. Remember, you’re a woman. You can easily make up for it with sex. WAX ON, WAX OUUUUUCH! Well, folks, hell has officially frozen over. I have done gone and got myself a new-fashioned bikini waxing. That’s right, kids, I’m bald. In my first blog post, I lamented how before I was married, men seemed to be perfectly accepting of female pubic hair. Now, evidently, it is disgusting. I protested bald punani for I RESPONDED TO EVERYONE WHO MESSAGED ME ON OKCUPID AND I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened. There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested.Sounds pretty simple and straightforward, right? ABOUT ME – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING About Me. Whoa. Filling out this section is about as painful as filling out an online dating profile. Anyone who has ever filled out an online dating profile will totally get my pain.. Here’s the thing: I can’t decide if this is a humor blog or a singles blog. DATING – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested. THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF ONLINE DATING After a substantial dating hiatus, I’ve recently re-entered the vile, reprehensible, obviously-created-by-the-devil world of online dating. After being away for so long, I somehow forgot that not long ago I proclaimed I would rather have my face ripped off by a chimp than participate in online dating again. But clearly, the early onsetof Alzheimer’s
NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU Not Everyone is Going to Like You. Ooh, harsh words, huh? I bet your momma never told you that, did she? Oh, heavens no. Momma said, “Oh, poopsie, you’re so wonderful and special, anyone would be crazy not to love you!”. Listen, I’m sure Momma means well and everything, but she’s seeing you through her extremely biased mom glasses and is generally just blowing sunshine up your ass. 6 ANNOYING FACEBOOK POSTS I SHALL NEVER MAKE Hey guys! Guess what? I finally signed up for that super hot social media site that everyone is talking about! You know, the really popular one with all the pictures and feeds where you can connect with other people and update your things and stuff? What’s that one called again? Oh, yeah. FACEBOOK. Womp-womp. Okay, I MARRIED THE D-BAG! (MY HUSBAND TOTALLY DIDN’T CALL ME I Married the D-Bag! (My Husband Totally Didn’t Call Me Back at First) Greetings, SGB fans! Today I’m happy because we have a guest post from one of my favorite people on the internets — the lovely and awesome Liz Marie, social media manager and writer at WeLoveDates! (I’ll be writing for them soon as well, so keep your eyes peeled forme there.)
MY V-DAY GUEST BLOG ON MY RIGHT TO BITCH Holy crap, VD is back. And this time, I'm not referring to the burning sensation in my nether regions. No sir, it's Valentine's Day, the most shittyful time of the year if you're single. So to commemorate the occasion, I've written a guest post for my good friend Adam over at MyRight to Bitch.
WHY JASON BATEMAN IS THE MOST PERFECT MAN ALIVE In essence, Jason Bateman is the most perfect man alive. For me. In fact, it is highly possible that the reason I am still single is because I simply haven’t met anyone who’s Jason Bateman. So like any crazy obsessive fanatical fangirl would, I’ve written this post over on BuzzFeed as my tribute to his perfection: Yes, Jason, yes! LIARS SUCK: WHY I’M NOT MAD AT THE GUYS WHO REJECTED THE Liars Suck: Why I’m Not Mad at the Guys Who Rejected the Tinder Fat Suit Girl. Hey guys, I posted an article over at We Love Dates about the girl who wore the fat suit to see what her dates would do on Tinder – and about how people lie on their online IN HONOR OF MOVEMBER: LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE BALLS In Honor of Movember: Let’s Hear it for the Balls! Happy Movember, everybody! I don’t know a whole lot about this annual celebration, but my understanding of Movember is that during the month of November with an N, dudes are allowed to be lazy ass mofos and refrain from shaving in order to bring awareness to men’s health issues, specifically testicular and prostate cancer. SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING To kick off the year we’ve got an awesome guest post from the awesomer Beth O’Donnell of Single and the Sweet Side of 40. She’s telling a sad, By Naomi Lane on December 22, 2014 • ( 42 Comments)
GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits. Not everyone wants to sift through every single blog post, and let’s face it, some are more awesome than others. So I’m releasing Single Girl Blogging’s Greatest Hits, enabling you fair weather fans to get straight to the goodies. ABOUT ME – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING About Me. Whoa. Filling out this section is about as painful as filling out an online dating profile. Anyone who has ever filled out an online dating profile will totally get my pain.. Here’s the thing: I can’t decide if this is a humor blog or a singles blog. THE SMART WOMAN’S GUIDE TO CHOOSING A F*CK BUDDY The Smart Woman’s Guide to Choosing a F*ck Buddy. Whether you’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship, are busy at work or simply want to “do you” for a while, there comes a time in every woman’s life when you just don’t want a serious relationship. MEN COULD YOU PLEASE STOP CALLING WOMEN PSYCHO? When it comes to the battle between men and women, it’s never pretty. Every single day, men bitch about women, women bitch about men, and we drive each other insane in the membrane. In short, we pretty much hate each other. Except for the sex part. But there is one word that men use to NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU Not Everyone is Going to Like You. Ooh, harsh words, huh? I bet your momma never told you that, did she? Oh, heavens no. Momma said, “Oh, poopsie, you’re so wonderful and special, anyone would be crazy not to love you!”. Listen, I’m sure Momma means well and everything, but she’s seeing you through her extremely biased mom glasses and is generally just blowing sunshine up your ass. HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE FOR GUYS WHO ARE NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND YET A flask, a beer mug, a respectable bottle of booze. A brick of cocaine. Kidding. That’s WAY too expensive. Many women are natural-born givers. Resist this urge. Giving too much to a man who is not your boyfriend can easily freak him out. Remember, you’re a woman. You can easily make up for it with sex. HOW I LEARNED WHAT HUMP MEANT How I Learned What Hump Meant. When I was a child, I was quite shy and what some would call a “good girl.” My mother was very strict with a side order of crazy, so I always thought if I was bad, something dreadful would happen. MY VERY FIRST TINDER DATE… IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY My Very First Tinder Date In a Third World Country. As you know, I recently traveled to Vietnam – and failed miserably at scoring myself some dong.My gay bf, on the other hand, was a master at it. I RESPONDED TO EVERYONE WHO MESSAGED ME ON OKCUPID AND I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened. There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested.Sounds pretty simple and straightforward, right? SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING To kick off the year we’ve got an awesome guest post from the awesomer Beth O’Donnell of Single and the Sweet Side of 40. She’s telling a sad, By Naomi Lane on December 22, 2014 • ( 42 Comments)
GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits. Not everyone wants to sift through every single blog post, and let’s face it, some are more awesome than others. So I’m releasing Single Girl Blogging’s Greatest Hits, enabling you fair weather fans to get straight to the goodies. ABOUT ME – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING About Me. Whoa. Filling out this section is about as painful as filling out an online dating profile. Anyone who has ever filled out an online dating profile will totally get my pain.. Here’s the thing: I can’t decide if this is a humor blog or a singles blog. THE SMART WOMAN’S GUIDE TO CHOOSING A F*CK BUDDY The Smart Woman’s Guide to Choosing a F*ck Buddy. Whether you’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship, are busy at work or simply want to “do you” for a while, there comes a time in every woman’s life when you just don’t want a serious relationship. MEN COULD YOU PLEASE STOP CALLING WOMEN PSYCHO? When it comes to the battle between men and women, it’s never pretty. Every single day, men bitch about women, women bitch about men, and we drive each other insane in the membrane. In short, we pretty much hate each other. Except for the sex part. But there is one word that men use to NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU Not Everyone is Going to Like You. Ooh, harsh words, huh? I bet your momma never told you that, did she? Oh, heavens no. Momma said, “Oh, poopsie, you’re so wonderful and special, anyone would be crazy not to love you!”. Listen, I’m sure Momma means well and everything, but she’s seeing you through her extremely biased mom glasses and is generally just blowing sunshine up your ass. HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE FOR GUYS WHO ARE NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND YET A flask, a beer mug, a respectable bottle of booze. A brick of cocaine. Kidding. That’s WAY too expensive. Many women are natural-born givers. Resist this urge. Giving too much to a man who is not your boyfriend can easily freak him out. Remember, you’re a woman. You can easily make up for it with sex. HOW I LEARNED WHAT HUMP MEANT How I Learned What Hump Meant. When I was a child, I was quite shy and what some would call a “good girl.” My mother was very strict with a side order of crazy, so I always thought if I was bad, something dreadful would happen. MY VERY FIRST TINDER DATE… IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY My Very First Tinder Date In a Third World Country. As you know, I recently traveled to Vietnam – and failed miserably at scoring myself some dong.My gay bf, on the other hand, was a master at it. I RESPONDED TO EVERYONE WHO MESSAGED ME ON OKCUPID AND I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened. There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested.Sounds pretty simple and straightforward, right? NAOMI LANE – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING Erectile Dysfunction Is In the Eye of the Beholder. Hey guys! To kick off the year we’ve got an awesome guest post from the awesomer Beth O’Donnell of Single and the Sweet Side of 40. She’s telling a sad, By Naomi Lane on December 22, 2014 • ( 42 Comments ) WEIRD SEX TOYS THAT WILL NEVER SEE MY JUNK Weird Sex Toys That Will Never See My Junk. It’s play time, children! Today we’re talking sex toys, and joining me is the chief head Chowderhead himself, Chowderhead.This was all his idea, so you have him to thank for what’s to come (snicker), and be sure to check out his side-splitting blog.. Truth be told, although I’ve always been completely fascinated by sex toys, I’m not much of BAD SEX AND THE DUMMY WHO HAD NO IDEA Bad Sex and the Dummy Who Had No Idea. It was hands-down the best first date I’d ever had with someone I met online. Corey and I met in a cool hipster bar in West Hollywood and the chemistry was palpable. We shared banter. We got each other’s jokes. The conversation flowed naturally. And believe it or not, he was as cuteas his photos
ADVENTURES IN THAILAND: THE HAPPY ENDING Adventures in Thailand: The Happy Ending. I recently traveled to beautiful Thailand – land of cheap hookers, trannies and pad thai. Thailand is also famed for its cheap massages – something I took full advantage of during my stay. The Thais consider massage to be medicinal, and I completely agree. Massage is one of my favoritethings in the
THE NEW MANKINI LEAVES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO THE The New Mankini Leaves Absolutely Nothing to the Imagination. Gentlemen, is the search for the perfect summer beachwear bringing you down? Having trouble finding just the right swimsuit to effectively accentuate your man goods? I RESPONDED TO EVERYONE WHO MESSAGED ME ON OKCUPID AND I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened. There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested.Sounds pretty simple and straightforward, right? THE CRAIGSLIST CREEP The Craigslist Creep. I’ll never forget my very first online date. Although I wish I could. It all started a little over three years ago. I was nervous about uploading my profile and picture to an official dating site like Match.com, so I decided to dip my toe in the water with a little website called craigslist. MY VERY FIRST TINDER DATE… IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY My Very First Tinder Date In a Third World Country. As you know, I recently traveled to Vietnam – and failed miserably at scoring myself some dong.My gay bf, on the other hand, was a THE TEENIEST WEENIE OF ALL TIME The Teeniest Weenie of All Time. Since I wrote last about Tom’s ginormous johnson, I thought it apropos to stay on topic and regale my readers with a story about Tom’s polar opposite.This is a tale about the smallest penis that has ever entered my body. *** Enrique and I met when I was a very young girlie, waitressing at a Mexicanrestaurant.
THE GUY WHO WANTED TO DO SEX STUFF TO MY FEET A couple weeks ago I received a message on OkCupid from a man who would best be described as “effeminate.” He looked sort of like if Clay Aiken grew a womb and he and Adam Lambert had a magic love child. Alright whatever, I’m just going to be straight up with you – helooked super gay.
SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING To kick off the year we’ve got an awesome guest post from the awesomer Beth O’Donnell of Single and the Sweet Side of 40. She’s telling a sad, By Naomi Lane on December 22, 2014 • ( 42 Comments)
GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits. Not everyone wants to sift through every single blog post, and let’s face it, some are more awesome than others. So I’m releasing Single Girl Blogging’s Greatest Hits, enabling you fair weather fans to get straight to the goodies. ABOUT ME – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING About Me. Whoa. Filling out this section is about as painful as filling out an online dating profile. Anyone who has ever filled out an online dating profile will totally get my pain.. Here’s the thing: I can’t decide if this is a humor blog or a singles blog. THE SMART WOMAN’S GUIDE TO CHOOSING A F*CK BUDDY The Smart Woman’s Guide to Choosing a F*ck Buddy. Whether you’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship, are busy at work or simply want to “do you” for a while, there comes a time in every woman’s life when you just don’t want a serious relationship. MEN COULD YOU PLEASE STOP CALLING WOMEN PSYCHO? When it comes to the battle between men and women, it’s never pretty. Every single day, men bitch about women, women bitch about men, and we drive each other insane in the membrane. In short, we pretty much hate each other. Except for the sex part. But there is one word that men use to NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU Not Everyone is Going to Like You. Ooh, harsh words, huh? I bet your momma never told you that, did she? Oh, heavens no. Momma said, “Oh, poopsie, you’re so wonderful and special, anyone would be crazy not to love you!”. Listen, I’m sure Momma means well and everything, but she’s seeing you through her extremely biased mom glasses and is generally just blowing sunshine up your ass. HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE FOR GUYS WHO ARE NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND YET A flask, a beer mug, a respectable bottle of booze. A brick of cocaine. Kidding. That’s WAY too expensive. Many women are natural-born givers. Resist this urge. Giving too much to a man who is not your boyfriend can easily freak him out. Remember, you’re a woman. You can easily make up for it with sex. HOW I LEARNED WHAT HUMP MEANT How I Learned What Hump Meant. When I was a child, I was quite shy and what some would call a “good girl.” My mother was very strict with a side order of crazy, so I always thought if I was bad, something dreadful would happen. MY VERY FIRST TINDER DATE… IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY My Very First Tinder Date In a Third World Country. As you know, I recently traveled to Vietnam – and failed miserably at scoring myself some dong.My gay bf, on the other hand, was a master at it. I RESPONDED TO EVERYONE WHO MESSAGED ME ON OKCUPID AND I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened. There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested.Sounds pretty simple and straightforward, right? SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING To kick off the year we’ve got an awesome guest post from the awesomer Beth O’Donnell of Single and the Sweet Side of 40. She’s telling a sad, By Naomi Lane on December 22, 2014 • ( 42 Comments)
GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits. Not everyone wants to sift through every single blog post, and let’s face it, some are more awesome than others. So I’m releasing Single Girl Blogging’s Greatest Hits, enabling you fair weather fans to get straight to the goodies. ABOUT ME – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING About Me. Whoa. Filling out this section is about as painful as filling out an online dating profile. Anyone who has ever filled out an online dating profile will totally get my pain.. Here’s the thing: I can’t decide if this is a humor blog or a singles blog. THE SMART WOMAN’S GUIDE TO CHOOSING A F*CK BUDDY The Smart Woman’s Guide to Choosing a F*ck Buddy. Whether you’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship, are busy at work or simply want to “do you” for a while, there comes a time in every woman’s life when you just don’t want a serious relationship. MEN COULD YOU PLEASE STOP CALLING WOMEN PSYCHO? When it comes to the battle between men and women, it’s never pretty. Every single day, men bitch about women, women bitch about men, and we drive each other insane in the membrane. In short, we pretty much hate each other. Except for the sex part. But there is one word that men use to NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU Not Everyone is Going to Like You. Ooh, harsh words, huh? I bet your momma never told you that, did she? Oh, heavens no. Momma said, “Oh, poopsie, you’re so wonderful and special, anyone would be crazy not to love you!”. Listen, I’m sure Momma means well and everything, but she’s seeing you through her extremely biased mom glasses and is generally just blowing sunshine up your ass. HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE FOR GUYS WHO ARE NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND YET A flask, a beer mug, a respectable bottle of booze. A brick of cocaine. Kidding. That’s WAY too expensive. Many women are natural-born givers. Resist this urge. Giving too much to a man who is not your boyfriend can easily freak him out. Remember, you’re a woman. You can easily make up for it with sex. HOW I LEARNED WHAT HUMP MEANT How I Learned What Hump Meant. When I was a child, I was quite shy and what some would call a “good girl.” My mother was very strict with a side order of crazy, so I always thought if I was bad, something dreadful would happen. MY VERY FIRST TINDER DATE… IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY My Very First Tinder Date In a Third World Country. As you know, I recently traveled to Vietnam – and failed miserably at scoring myself some dong.My gay bf, on the other hand, was a master at it. I RESPONDED TO EVERYONE WHO MESSAGED ME ON OKCUPID AND I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened. There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested.Sounds pretty simple and straightforward, right? NAOMI LANE – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING Erectile Dysfunction Is In the Eye of the Beholder. Hey guys! To kick off the year we’ve got an awesome guest post from the awesomer Beth O’Donnell of Single and the Sweet Side of 40. She’s telling a sad, By Naomi Lane on December 22, 2014 • ( 42 Comments ) WEIRD SEX TOYS THAT WILL NEVER SEE MY JUNK Weird Sex Toys That Will Never See My Junk. It’s play time, children! Today we’re talking sex toys, and joining me is the chief head Chowderhead himself, Chowderhead.This was all his idea, so you have him to thank for what’s to come (snicker), and be sure to check out his side-splitting blog.. Truth be told, although I’ve always been completely fascinated by sex toys, I’m not much of BAD SEX AND THE DUMMY WHO HAD NO IDEA Bad Sex and the Dummy Who Had No Idea. It was hands-down the best first date I’d ever had with someone I met online. Corey and I met in a cool hipster bar in West Hollywood and the chemistry was palpable. We shared banter. We got each other’s jokes. The conversation flowed naturally. And believe it or not, he was as cuteas his photos
ADVENTURES IN THAILAND: THE HAPPY ENDING Adventures in Thailand: The Happy Ending. I recently traveled to beautiful Thailand – land of cheap hookers, trannies and pad thai. Thailand is also famed for its cheap massages – something I took full advantage of during my stay. The Thais consider massage to be medicinal, and I completely agree. Massage is one of my favoritethings in the
THE NEW MANKINI LEAVES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO THE The New Mankini Leaves Absolutely Nothing to the Imagination. Gentlemen, is the search for the perfect summer beachwear bringing you down? Having trouble finding just the right swimsuit to effectively accentuate your man goods? THE CRAIGSLIST CREEP The Craigslist Creep. I’ll never forget my very first online date. Although I wish I could. It all started a little over three years ago. I was nervous about uploading my profile and picture to an official dating site like Match.com, so I decided to dip my toe in the water with a little website called craigslist. I RESPONDED TO EVERYONE WHO MESSAGED ME ON OKCUPID AND I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened. There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested.Sounds pretty simple and straightforward, right? MY VERY FIRST TINDER DATE… IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY My Very First Tinder Date In a Third World Country. As you know, I recently traveled to Vietnam – and failed miserably at scoring myself some dong.My gay bf, on the other hand, was a THE TEENIEST WEENIE OF ALL TIME The Teeniest Weenie of All Time. Since I wrote last about Tom’s ginormous johnson, I thought it apropos to stay on topic and regale my readers with a story about Tom’s polar opposite.This is a tale about the smallest penis that has ever entered my body. *** Enrique and I met when I was a very young girlie, waitressing at a Mexicanrestaurant.
THE GUY WHO WANTED TO DO SEX STUFF TO MY FEET A couple weeks ago I received a message on OkCupid from a man who would best be described as “effeminate.” He looked sort of like if Clay Aiken grew a womb and he and Adam Lambert had a magic love child. Alright whatever, I’m just going to be straight up with you – helooked super gay.
SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING To kick off the year we’ve got an awesome guest post from the awesomer Beth O’Donnell of Single and the Sweet Side of 40. She’s telling a sad, By Naomi Lane on December 22, 2014 • ( 42 Comments)
GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits. Not everyone wants to sift through every single blog post, and let’s face it, some are more awesome than others. So I’m releasing Single Girl Blogging’s Greatest Hits, enabling you fair weather fans to get straight to the goodies. ABOUT ME – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING About Me. Whoa. Filling out this section is about as painful as filling out an online dating profile. Anyone who has ever filled out an online dating profile will totally get my pain.. Here’s the thing: I can’t decide if this is a humor blog or a singles blog.FEATURED ON
54 Thoughts That Go Through A Girl’s Head When Texting a New Crush.True Story.
DATING – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested. THE SMART WOMAN’S GUIDE TO CHOOSING A F*CK BUDDY The Smart Woman’s Guide to Choosing a F*ck Buddy. Whether you’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship, are busy at work or simply want to “do you” for a while, there comes a time in every woman’s life when you just don’t want a serious relationship. MEN COULD YOU PLEASE STOP CALLING WOMEN PSYCHO? When it comes to the battle between men and women, it’s never pretty. Every single day, men bitch about women, women bitch about men, and we drive each other insane in the membrane. In short, we pretty much hate each other. Except for the sex part. But there is one word that men use to NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU Not Everyone is Going to Like You. Ooh, harsh words, huh? I bet your momma never told you that, did she? Oh, heavens no. Momma said, “Oh, poopsie, you’re so wonderful and special, anyone would be crazy not to love you!”. Listen, I’m sure Momma means well and everything, but she’s seeing you through her extremely biased mom glasses and is generally just blowing sunshine up your ass. HOW I LEARNED WHAT HUMP MEANT How I Learned What Hump Meant. When I was a child, I was quite shy and what some would call a “good girl.” My mother was very strict with a side order of crazy, so I always thought if I was bad, something dreadful would happen. HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE FOR GUYS WHO ARE NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND YETROMANTIC VALENTINE GIFTS FOR COUPLESROMANTIC VALENTINE IDEAS FOR COUPLESROMANTIC VALENTINE IDEAS FOR MENVALENTINE GIFTS FOR BEST FRIENDSVALENTINES DAY IDEAS FOR FRIENDS A flask, a beer mug, a respectable bottle of booze. A brick of cocaine. Kidding. That’s WAY too expensive. Many women are natural-born givers. Resist this urge. Giving too much to a man who is not your boyfriend can easily freak him out. Remember, you’re a woman. You can easily make up for it with sex. SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING To kick off the year we’ve got an awesome guest post from the awesomer Beth O’Donnell of Single and the Sweet Side of 40. She’s telling a sad, By Naomi Lane on December 22, 2014 • ( 42 Comments)
GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits. Not everyone wants to sift through every single blog post, and let’s face it, some are more awesome than others. So I’m releasing Single Girl Blogging’s Greatest Hits, enabling you fair weather fans to get straight to the goodies. ABOUT ME – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING About Me. Whoa. Filling out this section is about as painful as filling out an online dating profile. Anyone who has ever filled out an online dating profile will totally get my pain.. Here’s the thing: I can’t decide if this is a humor blog or a singles blog.FEATURED ON
54 Thoughts That Go Through A Girl’s Head When Texting a New Crush.True Story.
DATING – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested. THE SMART WOMAN’S GUIDE TO CHOOSING A F*CK BUDDY The Smart Woman’s Guide to Choosing a F*ck Buddy. Whether you’ve just gotten out of a long-term relationship, are busy at work or simply want to “do you” for a while, there comes a time in every woman’s life when you just don’t want a serious relationship. MEN COULD YOU PLEASE STOP CALLING WOMEN PSYCHO? When it comes to the battle between men and women, it’s never pretty. Every single day, men bitch about women, women bitch about men, and we drive each other insane in the membrane. In short, we pretty much hate each other. Except for the sex part. But there is one word that men use to NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU Not Everyone is Going to Like You. Ooh, harsh words, huh? I bet your momma never told you that, did she? Oh, heavens no. Momma said, “Oh, poopsie, you’re so wonderful and special, anyone would be crazy not to love you!”. Listen, I’m sure Momma means well and everything, but she’s seeing you through her extremely biased mom glasses and is generally just blowing sunshine up your ass. HOW I LEARNED WHAT HUMP MEANT How I Learned What Hump Meant. When I was a child, I was quite shy and what some would call a “good girl.” My mother was very strict with a side order of crazy, so I always thought if I was bad, something dreadful would happen. HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE FOR GUYS WHO ARE NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND YETROMANTIC VALENTINE GIFTS FOR COUPLESROMANTIC VALENTINE IDEAS FOR COUPLESROMANTIC VALENTINE IDEAS FOR MENVALENTINE GIFTS FOR BEST FRIENDSVALENTINES DAY IDEAS FOR FRIENDS A flask, a beer mug, a respectable bottle of booze. A brick of cocaine. Kidding. That’s WAY too expensive. Many women are natural-born givers. Resist this urge. Giving too much to a man who is not your boyfriend can easily freak him out. Remember, you’re a woman. You can easily make up for it with sex. DATING – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested.GUEST BLOG POLICY
Please select from the choices below. It shouldn't be too tough. You want to write a guest post for me You want me to write a guest post for you If you want to write a guest post for me: Please read this entire section before contacting me. It is very rare that I allow NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU Not Everyone is Going to Like You. Ooh, harsh words, huh? I bet your momma never told you that, did she? Oh, heavens no. Momma said, “Oh, poopsie, you’re so wonderful and special, anyone would be crazy not to love you!”. Listen, I’m sure Momma means well and everything, but she’s seeing you through her extremely biased mom glasses and is generally just blowing sunshine up your ass. DOUCHEBAGS – SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING Posts about douchebags written by Naomi Lane. My Boyfriend, the Bar and the Bleach Blonde “Never underestimate the power of denial” is a) an oft-quoted line from the movie American Beauty and b) some sort of man code passed down from father to son in an as of yet unpublished guidebook entitled, “How to Deal with Women.”I GET AROUND
Hey guys, I know I haven't been blogging as much up here, and I know what a profoundly devastating effect that must have on all of your day to day lives. Hopefully you've mustered up the strength to carry on, but today I have some good news! I have been writing, just not here!Mama needs
WAX ON, WAX OUUUUUCH! Well, folks, hell has officially frozen over. I have done gone and got myself a new-fashioned bikini waxing. That’s right, kids, I’m bald. In my first blog post, I lamented how before I was married, men seemed to be perfectly accepting of female pubic hair. Now, evidently,it is disgusting. I
MY BRAIN, MY GUT, MY HEART AND MY VAG The only one that made sense was the one insisting that I eat more French fries. These voices came from four highly opinionated body parts: my brain, my gut, my heart and my vag. These crazy bitches bark orders and advice at me incessantly, often at the same time. They are all saying something different, and sometimes I’m not sure who’s I RESPONDED TO EVERYONE WHO MESSAGED ME ON OKCUPID AND I Responded To Everyone Who Messaged Me On OkCupid and Here’s What Happened. There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested.Sounds pretty simple and straightforward, right? MY VERY FIRST TINDER DATE… IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY My Very First Tinder Date In a Third World Country. As you know, I recently traveled to Vietnam – and failed miserably at scoring myself some dong.My gay bf, on the other hand, was a WTF IS VICTORIA BECKHAM’S PROBLEM? Can we take a moment to discuss a bizarre Hollywood phenomenon that baffles me only slightly less than the idea that Snooki is in a stable relationship and I'm not? Today I’d like to address Victoria Beckham’s ever-persevering scowl, and what could she possibly be so ragingly pissed off about? I’m honestly beginning to think SINGLE GIRL BLOGGING I'M A SINGLE GIRL DATING IN LOS ANGELES. SOMETIMES. IT'S INTERESTING.* Home
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MenuHomeAbout MeGreatest HitsFeatured OnGuest Blog Policy In My Most Excellent Opinion THE SMART WOMAN’S GUIDE TO CHOOSING A F*CK BUDDY Something is Wrong with Me 54 THOUGHTS THAT GO THROUGH A GIRL’S HEAD WHEN TEXTING A NEW CRUSHTrue Story
BAD SEX AND THE DUMMY WHO HAD NO IDEATrue Story
6 REASONS WHY HAVING A BOY TOY ROCKS MY WORLDBy Naomi Lane
on June
18, 2018
• ( 3 Comments
)
A NEW LOW: I WAS SOLICITED FOR SEX ON BUMBLE Some douche wanted me to pay HIM for sex on Bumble. Clearly, I’vehit a new low.
By Naomi Lane
on
December 21, 2015
• ( 17 Comments
)
11 REASONS IT’S WAY BETTER TO BE SINGLE DURING THE HOLIDAYS It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Haha, not really. By now it’s pretty much common knowledge that depression and the holidays go together like Ambien and vehicular manslaughter.By Naomi Lane
on May 1,
2015
• ( 30 Comments
)
I AM SUPER PISSED OFF ABOUT THE MILD RESPONSE TO THIS TWO-WAY MIRROR IN A WOMEN’S RESTROOM AT A BAR AND THE DIRTBAG OWNER WHO SAYS “TOUGH SHIT, LADIES” I wrote this last night in a fit of rage and haven’t edited. Enjoy. Guys, I am PISSED OFF and OUTRAGED and JACKED UP over this shit abouta two-way
By Naomi Lane
on April
15, 2015
• ( 92 Comments
)
I RESPONDED TO EVERYONE WHO MESSAGED ME ON OKCUPID AND HERE’SWHAT HAPPENED
There is a universal yet unwritten rule among people who date online: if someone doesn’t respond to your initial message, it means they’re not interested. Sounds pretty simple and straightforward,right?
By Naomi Lane
on March
10, 2015 •
( 18 Comments
)
I GET AROUND
Hey guys, I know I haven’t been blogging as much up here, and I know what a profoundly devastating effect that must have on all of your dayto day
By Naomi Lane
on
February 11, 2015
• ( 47 Comments
)
HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN: A STRIKINGLY REAL INTERVIEW WITH A STRAIGHTMALE ESCORT
I have a new sexual fantasy. The old one was all about doing it in a kiddie pool filled with baby oil. The other old one was doing itanywhere
By Naomi Lane
on January
27, 2015
• ( 39 Comments
)
THE GUY WHO WANTED TO DO SEX STUFF TO MY FEET A couple weeks ago I received a message on OkCupid from a man who would best be described as “effeminate.” He looked sort of like if Clay Aiken grew a womb andBy Naomi Lane
on January
2, 2015
• ( 12 Comments
)
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER Hey guys! To kick off the year we’ve got an awesome guest post from the awesomer Beth O’Donnell of Single and the Sweet Side of 40. She’s telling a sad,By Naomi Lane
on
December 22, 2014
• ( 42 Comments
)
8 WAYS TO NOT GET KILLED WHEN ONLINE DATING – PLUS FREE SAFETYAPP GIVEAWAY!
What’s the best way to tell if your date is a serial rapist? Oh wait, there isn’t one. Truth is, most women wouldn’t go out with a man she suspected was a sociopath. NoBy Naomi Lane
on
November 17, 2014
• ( 24 Comments
)
IN HONOR OF MOVEMBER: LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE BALLS! Happy Movember, everybody! I don’t know a whole lot about this annual celebration, but my understanding of Movember is that during the month of November with an N, dudes are1 2 3
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