Are you over 18 and want to see adult content?
More Annotations
A complete backup of martiallen.tumblr.com
Are you over 18 and want to see adult content?
Favourite Annotations
A complete backup of www.www.blackboyaddictionz.com
Are you over 18 and want to see adult content?
A complete backup of www.extasycams.com
Are you over 18 and want to see adult content?
A complete backup of alakazam1988.tumblr.com
Are you over 18 and want to see adult content?
A complete backup of quartier-rouge.be
Are you over 18 and want to see adult content?
A complete backup of www.krasotkilux.ru
Are you over 18 and want to see adult content?
A complete backup of www.xhamster.desi
Are you over 18 and want to see adult content?
A complete backup of www.nudistfun.com
Are you over 18 and want to see adult content?
A complete backup of www.www.quartier-rouge.be
Are you over 18 and want to see adult content?
Text
SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Premise: The true story of the meteoric rise (and subsequent fall) of Marvel Comics and the star-crossed creators behind the panel: Stan Lee & Jack Kirby. About: This script finished on last year’s Black List with 9 votes. It comes from Alex Convery, whose script, “Bag Man,”I’ve reviewed on
YOUR BRIDESMAID IS A BITCH My sense of humor hasn’t always gelled with the readers of this site so whenever I add a comedy to my Top 25, there’s usually an outcry plus at least a couple of suggestions that I might be mentally handicapped. Several people usually declare they’re never coming back, but luckily only 13% of those keep their promise. I loved thisscript.
SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Today’s script is Steven Spielberg’s classic, “Duel,” meets Falling Down. Genre: Thriller Premise: A young woman driving her son to school gets into a road rage incident THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE Type 1 On-the-nose On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, inSHORT STORY REVIEW
OT: Had a chance to catch up on a few flicks over the last week or so. First, THE HOUSE WITH A CLOCK IN ITS WALLS. I really enjoyed this. Performances were really good — Jack Black is more likable here than he was in School of Rock and Cate Blanchette is, well, awesome asalways.
MOVIE REVIEW
Pretty effective, haunting horror, with a caveat : it did feel slightly xenophobic. *SPOILERS* The clash between cultures/religions, the push and pull is compelling but throughout the movie, I also felt the director was expressing his dislike of the japanese (and the final message is korean ghost = good, japanese man = evil.AMATEUR WEEK
Yesterday I didn’t want to read the script because I didn’t like the logline. Today I didn’t want to read the script because I didn’t like the subject matter. Jim Morrison? Snore. I knew something about the “conspiracy” behind Morrison’s body being buried in Paris, but it sounded like one of those college conspiracy conversations you have when you’ve smoked too much dope. 10 WAYS TO SUPERCHARGE YOUR PROTAGONISTCONCEPT ARTISTSGET SCRIPT NOTESCONTESTSSUBMITABOUTCONTACT Genre: Horror – Social Premise: Aisha is an undocumented nanny caring for a privileged child. As she prepares for the arrival of her only son, who she left behind in her native country, a violent supernatural presence invades her reality, jeopardizing the American Dream she’s carefully pieced together. SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL Okay, first thing’s first. I am not a logline expert! There are probably people on these boards that know a lot more about loglines than I do (and therefore I welcome their criticisms). SCREENWRITING ARTICLE They are as elusive as Adele snacking on carrots. And yet, they’re probably the most important part of your script. As you all know, a bad ending cancels out a good movie.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Premise: The true story of the meteoric rise (and subsequent fall) of Marvel Comics and the star-crossed creators behind the panel: Stan Lee & Jack Kirby. About: This script finished on last year’s Black List with 9 votes. It comes from Alex Convery, whose script, “Bag Man,”I’ve reviewed on
YOUR BRIDESMAID IS A BITCH My sense of humor hasn’t always gelled with the readers of this site so whenever I add a comedy to my Top 25, there’s usually an outcry plus at least a couple of suggestions that I might be mentally handicapped. Several people usually declare they’re never coming back, but luckily only 13% of those keep their promise. I loved thisscript.
SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Today’s script is Steven Spielberg’s classic, “Duel,” meets Falling Down. Genre: Thriller Premise: A young woman driving her son to school gets into a road rage incident THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE Type 1 On-the-nose On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, inSHORT STORY REVIEW
OT: Had a chance to catch up on a few flicks over the last week or so. First, THE HOUSE WITH A CLOCK IN ITS WALLS. I really enjoyed this. Performances were really good — Jack Black is more likable here than he was in School of Rock and Cate Blanchette is, well, awesome asalways.
MOVIE REVIEW
Pretty effective, haunting horror, with a caveat : it did feel slightly xenophobic. *SPOILERS* The clash between cultures/religions, the push and pull is compelling but throughout the movie, I also felt the director was expressing his dislike of the japanese (and the final message is korean ghost = good, japanese man = evil.AMATEUR WEEK
Yesterday I didn’t want to read the script because I didn’t like the logline. Today I didn’t want to read the script because I didn’t like the subject matter. Jim Morrison? Snore. I knew something about the “conspiracy” behind Morrison’s body being buried in Paris, but it sounded like one of those college conspiracy conversations you have when you’ve smoked too much dope. 10 WAYS TO SUPERCHARGE YOUR PROTAGONIST Recently, I’ve been working on two projects. One of them you know. Kinetic. Another one you don’t. In both cases, rewrites were involved. When it came to Kinetic, the writer, Chris Dennis, took what was already a good script and did a page 1 rewrite to amp everything up several notches, turning SCREENWRITING ARTICLE They are as elusive as Adele snacking on carrots. And yet, they’re probably the most important part of your script. As you all know, a bad ending cancels out a good movie.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Premise: Two decades after three strange abandoned alien city-ships crash into earth, a mysterious secondary enemy attacks our planet, forcing us to protect ourselves with the crashed vessels’ unique alien tech (robotech). About: Sony has the rights to make a Robotech movie. At one point, Andy HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY Scriptshadow Challenge: Describe James Bond in the comments section with what you learned today.Upvote the best descriptions! Let’s talk about character descriptions for a minute, shall we? You ever see that show “Botched,” about botched plastic surgeries? THE SCRIPTSHADOW SCREENPLAY TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! Come one, come all, to the finals of the Scriptshadow Tournament! The day has finally arrived. After 500 entries, a first round of 40 chosen participants, a quarterfinal round, a semifinal round, and a whole lot of controversy, the checkered flag is just 48 hours away! HOW LONG SHOULD A SCENE REALLY BE? Recently, I’ve been reading a lot of consultation scripts with scene issues. Writers are staying inside of their scenes for too long. My advice for this has always been the same. The average scene should be somewhere between 1.5 and 2.5 pages. SCRIPTSHADOW TOURNAMENT THE WINNER HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED BELOW. The final week of the Quarterfinals is upon us! After Sunday, we’ll have the FINAL FOUR! The Scriptshadow Tournament is the only screenplay tournament in history where you, the readers, vote on who wins. SCRIPTSHADOW TOURNAMENT THE WINNER HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED BELOW. From 500 scripts down to the final 4! Last week, #1 Seed, “The Savage,” powered its way into the final.Who will he be taking on? That’s up to you! As this is the only screenplay competition where YOU, the audience, vote. HOW TO WRITE A LOGLINE The problem with this focus on logline is yes, i imagine most of the loglines sent to you were crappy, and yes, it’s very important that once a script is made that it has a great logline, but i feel like a bad logline doesn’t actually mean bad idea.WEIRD SCRIPTS WEEK!
A little more Kevin McClory was planning a $20 million production starring Sean Connery as Bond and directed either by himself, Richard Attenborough or maybe even Connery. 10 WAYS TO SUPERCHARGE YOUR PROTAGONISTCONCEPT ARTISTSGET SCRIPT NOTESCONTESTSSUBMITABOUTCONTACT Genre: Horror – Social Premise: Aisha is an undocumented nanny caring for a privileged child. As she prepares for the arrival of her only son, who she left behind in her native country, a violent supernatural presence invades her reality, jeopardizing the American Dream she’s carefully pieced together. SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a hugeSCREENPLAY REVIEW
Screenplay Review – Excelsior! Posted on May 25, 2021 | by admin. Genre: Biopic. Premise: The true story of the meteoric rise (and subsequent fall) of Marvel Comics and the star-crossed creators behind the panel: Stan Lee & Jack Kirby. About: This script finished on last year’s Black List with 9 votes. SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) Introduce tons of obstacles into the climax. HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY 3) Secondary characters. 4) Bit players. Your hero gets the all-star treatment and can command anywhere from one to three sentences of description. This isn’t just to fully describe your hero. The long description is a visual indicator to your reader that this is THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE. Posted on April 12, 2018 | by admin. Type 1 On-the-nose. On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, in real life, people hold back on what they’re thinking. They talk around things instead of about them.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Screenwriter Chris Fedak has an interesting past. He’s written/created a bunch of solid TV shows (Prodigal Son, Chuck, Legends of Tomorrow) but nothing to indicate he was capable of this level of awesomeness. Writer: Chris Fedak (based on the film “Ambulancen”) Details: 131 pages. We’re going to get straight toit.
SCREENWRITING ARTICLE Screenwriting Article – The Trick To Writing the “Slow Burn” Screenplay. One of the big complaints with last Friday’s amateur screenplay was that it started too slow. In response to this criticism, the writers, Greg and David, turned it around on the readers. In their opinion, itSCREENPLAY REVIEW
Bill Montana Gillis • a year ago. The rants could be highly productive. The genre is an ordinary American woman who has a problem and uses her intellect to solve it. American women have so much more, more education, their own cars, they expect more of themselves. HOW LONG SHOULD A SCENE REALLY BE? Recently, I’ve been reading a lot of consultation scripts with scene issues. Writers are staying inside of their scenes for too long. My advice for this has always been the same. The average scene should be somewhere between 1.5 and 2.5 pages. 10 WAYS TO SUPERCHARGE YOUR PROTAGONISTCONCEPT ARTISTSGET SCRIPT NOTESCONTESTSSUBMITABOUTCONTACT Genre: Horror – Social Premise: Aisha is an undocumented nanny caring for a privileged child. As she prepares for the arrival of her only son, who she left behind in her native country, a violent supernatural presence invades her reality, jeopardizing the American Dream she’s carefully pieced together. SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a hugeSCREENPLAY REVIEW
Screenplay Review – Excelsior! Posted on May 25, 2021 | by admin. Genre: Biopic. Premise: The true story of the meteoric rise (and subsequent fall) of Marvel Comics and the star-crossed creators behind the panel: Stan Lee & Jack Kirby. About: This script finished on last year’s Black List with 9 votes. SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) Introduce tons of obstacles into the climax. HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY 3) Secondary characters. 4) Bit players. Your hero gets the all-star treatment and can command anywhere from one to three sentences of description. This isn’t just to fully describe your hero. The long description is a visual indicator to your reader that this is THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE. Posted on April 12, 2018 | by admin. Type 1 On-the-nose. On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, in real life, people hold back on what they’re thinking. They talk around things instead of about them.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Screenwriter Chris Fedak has an interesting past. He’s written/created a bunch of solid TV shows (Prodigal Son, Chuck, Legends of Tomorrow) but nothing to indicate he was capable of this level of awesomeness. Writer: Chris Fedak (based on the film “Ambulancen”) Details: 131 pages. We’re going to get straight toit.
SCREENWRITING ARTICLE Screenwriting Article – The Trick To Writing the “Slow Burn” Screenplay. One of the big complaints with last Friday’s amateur screenplay was that it started too slow. In response to this criticism, the writers, Greg and David, turned it around on the readers. In their opinion, itSCREENPLAY REVIEW
Bill Montana Gillis • a year ago. The rants could be highly productive. The genre is an ordinary American woman who has a problem and uses her intellect to solve it. American women have so much more, more education, their own cars, they expect more of themselves. HOW LONG SHOULD A SCENE REALLY BE? Recently, I’ve been reading a lot of consultation scripts with scene issues. Writers are staying inside of their scenes for too long. My advice for this has always been the same. The average scene should be somewhere between 1.5 and 2.5 pages. SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) Introduce tons of obstacles into the climax.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Premise: A patriotic pipeliner from the heartland of America must go to France to prove his daughter’s innocence, as she’s in prison for the murder of her Arab lover. About: You may have heard me talking about this one in the newsletter. It’s directed by Tom McCarthy (Spotlight) and stars Matt HOW LONG SHOULD A SCENE REALLY BE? Recently, I’ve been reading a lot of consultation scripts with scene issues. Writers are staying inside of their scenes for too long. My advice for this has always been the same. The average scene should be somewhere between 1.5 and 2.5 pages. SCREENWRITING ARTICLE The biggest problem — as I see it, at least — is that the Sequence Method leaves little room for a B Story, which basically leaves the story hinging on a singular journey — i.e, one man against something, obtaining something, or fighting against something.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Writers: Steve Desmond and Michael Sherman (based on the novel by Paul Tremblay) Details: 100 pages. This is going to be a controversial comments section. I implore you, once again, to read the script first and then read my review. One look at the Amazon page for “Cabin” shows that it’s got 3 out of 5 stars on 790 ratings. HOW TO WRITE A LOGLINE A therapist who manipulates his patients to commit suicide. Weird, twisted, and funny is the key to doing these well. 5) A well executed ironic logline – Guys, this is the EASIEST way to make your logline stand out from the rest. Place your main character in an SCRIPTSHADOW 250 ARTICLE! The absolutely FREE Scriptshadow 250 Screenplay Contest deadline is just 56 days away! Make sure you’re preparing your entries!. A lot of what we talk about here at Scriptshadow comes from a reactionary place. We assess someone’s work and then discuss how it either a) worked or b) didn’t.AMATEUR FRIDAY
A former Amateur Friday entrant comes back for more. And Carson proclaims that rules have rules. Have both these men gone insane? NOTE: Scriptshadow will not be posting on Monday, which is Memorial Day here in the states, an entire holiday dedicated to improving our memory.So use that extra day to work on your Scriptshadow 250 ContestEntry!!!
SCREENWRITING ARTICLE Screenwriting Article – The Trick To Writing the “Slow Burn” Screenplay. One of the big complaints with last Friday’s amateur screenplay was that it started too slow. In response to this criticism, the writers, Greg and David, turned it around on the readers. In their opinion, itAMATEUR WEEK
Amateur Week – Fascination 127. Welcome to Amateur Week! All week we’re going to be reviewing scripts from amateur writers that got the best response from this post. Time for you guys to take advantage of the opportunity. Hope we find something great. But even if we don’t, it should be a great week for learning why screenwriting isso hard!
SCRIPTSHADOW
Genre: Science Fiction Premise: Two decades after three strange abandoned alien city-ships crash into earth, a mysterious secondary enemy attacks our planet, forcing us to protect ourselves with the crashed vessels’ unique alien tech (robotech). SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a hugeSCREENPLAY REVIEW
Screenplay Review – Excelsior! Posted on May 25, 2021 | by admin. Genre: Biopic. Premise: The true story of the meteoric rise (and subsequent fall) of Marvel Comics and the star-crossed creators behind the panel: Stan Lee & Jack Kirby. About: This script finished on last year’s Black List with 9 votes.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Premise: Aisha is an undocumented nanny caring for a privileged child. As she prepares for the arrival of her only son, who she left behind in her native country, a violent supernatural presence invades her reality, jeopardizing the American Dream she’s carefully pieced together. About: ThisMISH-MASH MONDAY
Lots to talk about on this Mish-Mash Monday! First and foremost, Comedy Showdown scripts are due A WEEK FROM THURSDAY! I will be accepting entries all the way up until 8pm Pacific Time. At this point, your second draft should be finished. HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY 2) Main characters. 3) Secondary characters. 4) Bit players. Your hero gets the all-star treatment and can command anywhere from one to three sentences of description. This isn’t just to fully describe your hero. The long description is a visual indicator to your reader thatthis is
THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE. Posted on April 12, 2018 | by admin. Type 1 On-the-nose. On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, in real life, people hold back on what they’re thinking. They talk around things instead of about them.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
It ranks high on the list. I think Friedkin even has an evil tree movie on his resume - The Guardian. For anyone who knows Mortal Kombat, they know that there are actually two Sub-Zeros; two brothers named Bi-Han and Kuai Liang. They would also know that Scorpion kills Bi-Han, who is then resurrected as Noob Saibot. HOW LONG SHOULD A SCENE REALLY BE? Recently, I’ve been reading a lot of consultation scripts with scene issues. Writers are staying inside of their scenes for too long. My advice for this has always been the same. The average scene should be somewhere between 1.5 and 2.5 pages.SCRIPTSHADOW
Genre: Science Fiction Premise: Two decades after three strange abandoned alien city-ships crash into earth, a mysterious secondary enemy attacks our planet, forcing us to protect ourselves with the crashed vessels’ unique alien tech (robotech). SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a hugeSCREENPLAY REVIEW
Screenplay Review – Excelsior! Posted on May 25, 2021 | by admin. Genre: Biopic. Premise: The true story of the meteoric rise (and subsequent fall) of Marvel Comics and the star-crossed creators behind the panel: Stan Lee & Jack Kirby. About: This script finished on last year’s Black List with 9 votes.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Premise: Aisha is an undocumented nanny caring for a privileged child. As she prepares for the arrival of her only son, who she left behind in her native country, a violent supernatural presence invades her reality, jeopardizing the American Dream she’s carefully pieced together. About: ThisMISH-MASH MONDAY
Lots to talk about on this Mish-Mash Monday! First and foremost, Comedy Showdown scripts are due A WEEK FROM THURSDAY! I will be accepting entries all the way up until 8pm Pacific Time. At this point, your second draft should be finished. HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY 2) Main characters. 3) Secondary characters. 4) Bit players. Your hero gets the all-star treatment and can command anywhere from one to three sentences of description. This isn’t just to fully describe your hero. The long description is a visual indicator to your reader thatthis is
THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE. Posted on April 12, 2018 | by admin. Type 1 On-the-nose. On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, in real life, people hold back on what they’re thinking. They talk around things instead of about them.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
It ranks high on the list. I think Friedkin even has an evil tree movie on his resume - The Guardian. For anyone who knows Mortal Kombat, they know that there are actually two Sub-Zeros; two brothers named Bi-Han and Kuai Liang. They would also know that Scorpion kills Bi-Han, who is then resurrected as Noob Saibot. HOW LONG SHOULD A SCENE REALLY BE? Recently, I’ve been reading a lot of consultation scripts with scene issues. Writers are staying inside of their scenes for too long. My advice for this has always been the same. The average scene should be somewhere between 1.5 and 2.5 pages. 10 WAYS TO SUPERCHARGE YOUR PROTAGONIST 1 day ago · Recently, I’ve been working two projects. One of them you know. Kinetic. Another one you don’t. In both cases, rewrites were involved. When it came to Kinetic, the writer, Chris Dennis, took what was already a good script and did a page 1 rewrite to amp everything up several notches, turning it SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a huge SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) Introduce tons of obstacles into the climax. HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY 3) Secondary characters. 4) Bit players. Your hero gets the all-star treatment and can command anywhere from one to three sentences of description. This isn’t just to fully describe your hero. The long description is a visual indicator to your reader that this isSCREENPLAY REVIEW
Purists may have their li’l tantrums over the DAY/NIGHT slugline innovation, but I like it, too. Re: EXT / INT – pity we can’t overline as well as underline – overline would be like putting a roof over the slugline, whereas underline could be open skies. THE SCRIPTSHADOW SCREENPLAY TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! Come one, come all, to the finals of the Scriptshadow Tournament! The day has finally arrived. After 500 entries, a first round of 40 chosen participants, a quarterfinal round, a semifinal round, and a whole lot of controversy, the checkered flag is just 48 hours away! HOW TO WRITE THE NEXT STAR WARS! But it can be done. And I’m here to tell you how to do it. Here are ten tips that will help you write the next Star Wars (or Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings). 1) DON’T WRITE THE NEXT STAR WARS – The trick to writing the next Star Wars is to not write the next Star Wars. Or Harry Potter.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
While everyone clamors to perfect their Scriptshadow 250 entries, a bold group of screenwriting gummy bears choose to place their letter spaghetti in front of the interconnected computer sphere in hopes of rainbow transformation. May we wish them a transition to a higher state of being. Title: To Boldly Go Genre: Biopic Logline: In 1964, writer Gene Roddenberry struggles to get his vision onMISH-MASH MONDAY
MISH-MASH MONDAY – THE KINETIC REWRITE IS IN! Lots to talk about on this Mish-Mash Monday! First and foremost, Comedy Showdown scripts are due A WEEK FROM THURSDAY! I will be accepting entries all the way up until 8pm Pacific Time. How: Include title, genre, logline, why you think we should read it, and a PDF of your script.WEIRD SCRIPTS WEEK!
In a script titled, “James Bond of the Secret Service,” James Bond is onscreen for 12 of the first 67 minutes. Eventually, the United States and Britain figure out where Arkos is and send James Bond to a nearby island to infiltrate it. Luckily, Bond has a cover-story. He’s actually a finalist in the international backgammonchampionships
SCRIPTSHADOW
Genre: Science Fiction Premise: Two decades after three strange abandoned alien city-ships crash into earth, a mysterious secondary enemy attacks our planet, forcing us to protect ourselves with the crashed vessels’ unique alien tech (robotech). SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) Introduce tons of obstacles into the climax. SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a hugeSCREENPLAY REVIEW
Screenplay Review – Excelsior! Posted on May 25, 2021 | by admin. Genre: Biopic. Premise: The true story of the meteoric rise (and subsequent fall) of Marvel Comics and the star-crossed creators behind the panel: Stan Lee & Jack Kirby. About: This script finished on last year’s Black List with 9 votes.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Premise: Aisha is an undocumented nanny caring for a privileged child. As she prepares for the arrival of her only son, who she left behind in her native country, a violent supernatural presence invades her reality, jeopardizing the American Dream she’s carefully pieced together. About: ThisMISH-MASH MONDAY
Lots to talk about on this Mish-Mash Monday! First and foremost, Comedy Showdown scripts are due A WEEK FROM THURSDAY! I will be accepting entries all the way up until 8pm Pacific Time. At this point, your second draft should be finished. HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY 2) Main characters. 3) Secondary characters. 4) Bit players. Your hero gets the all-star treatment and can command anywhere from one to three sentences of description. This isn’t just to fully describe your hero. The long description is a visual indicator to your reader thatthis is
THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE. Posted on April 12, 2018 | by admin. Type 1 On-the-nose. On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, in real life, people hold back on what they’re thinking. They talk around things instead of about them.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
It ranks high on the list. I think Friedkin even has an evil tree movie on his resume - The Guardian. For anyone who knows Mortal Kombat, they know that there are actually two Sub-Zeros; two brothers named Bi-Han and Kuai Liang. They would also know that Scorpion kills Bi-Han, who is then resurrected as Noob Saibot. HOW LONG SHOULD A SCENE REALLY BE? Recently, I’ve been reading a lot of consultation scripts with scene issues. Writers are staying inside of their scenes for too long. My advice for this has always been the same. The average scene should be somewhere between 1.5 and 2.5 pages.SCRIPTSHADOW
Genre: Science Fiction Premise: Two decades after three strange abandoned alien city-ships crash into earth, a mysterious secondary enemy attacks our planet, forcing us to protect ourselves with the crashed vessels’ unique alien tech (robotech). SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) Introduce tons of obstacles into the climax. SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a hugeSCREENPLAY REVIEW
Screenplay Review – Excelsior! Posted on May 25, 2021 | by admin. Genre: Biopic. Premise: The true story of the meteoric rise (and subsequent fall) of Marvel Comics and the star-crossed creators behind the panel: Stan Lee & Jack Kirby. About: This script finished on last year’s Black List with 9 votes.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Premise: Aisha is an undocumented nanny caring for a privileged child. As she prepares for the arrival of her only son, who she left behind in her native country, a violent supernatural presence invades her reality, jeopardizing the American Dream she’s carefully pieced together. About: ThisMISH-MASH MONDAY
Lots to talk about on this Mish-Mash Monday! First and foremost, Comedy Showdown scripts are due A WEEK FROM THURSDAY! I will be accepting entries all the way up until 8pm Pacific Time. At this point, your second draft should be finished. HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY 2) Main characters. 3) Secondary characters. 4) Bit players. Your hero gets the all-star treatment and can command anywhere from one to three sentences of description. This isn’t just to fully describe your hero. The long description is a visual indicator to your reader thatthis is
THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE. Posted on April 12, 2018 | by admin. Type 1 On-the-nose. On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, in real life, people hold back on what they’re thinking. They talk around things instead of about them.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
It ranks high on the list. I think Friedkin even has an evil tree movie on his resume - The Guardian. For anyone who knows Mortal Kombat, they know that there are actually two Sub-Zeros; two brothers named Bi-Han and Kuai Liang. They would also know that Scorpion kills Bi-Han, who is then resurrected as Noob Saibot. HOW LONG SHOULD A SCENE REALLY BE? Recently, I’ve been reading a lot of consultation scripts with scene issues. Writers are staying inside of their scenes for too long. My advice for this has always been the same. The average scene should be somewhere between 1.5 and 2.5 pages. 10 WAYS TO SUPERCHARGE YOUR PROTAGONIST 1 day ago · Recently, I’ve been working two projects. One of them you know. Kinetic. Another one you don’t. In both cases, rewrites were involved. When it came to Kinetic, the writer, Chris Dennis, took what was already a good script and did a page 1 rewrite to amp everything up several notches, turning it SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a huge HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY 3) Secondary characters. 4) Bit players. Your hero gets the all-star treatment and can command anywhere from one to three sentences of description. This isn’t just to fully describe your hero. The long description is a visual indicator to your reader that this is SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) Introduce tons of obstacles into the climax.MISH-MASH MONDAY
Lots to talk about on this Mish-Mash Monday! First and foremost, Comedy Showdown scripts are due A WEEK FROM THURSDAY! I will be accepting entries all the way up until 8pm Pacific Time. At this point, your second draft should be finished.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Premise: Two decades after three strange abandoned alien city-ships crash into earth, a mysterious secondary enemy attacks our planet, forcing us to protect ourselves with the crashed vessels’ unique alien tech (robotech). About: Sony has the rights to make a Robotech movie. At one point, Andy HOW TO WRITE THE NEXT STAR WARS! But it can be done. And I’m here to tell you how to do it. Here are ten tips that will help you write the next Star Wars (or Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings). 1) DON’T WRITE THE NEXT STAR WARS – The trick to writing the next Star Wars is to not write the next Star Wars. Or Harry Potter. WHAT MAKES A SCRIPT BORING? Their chemistry is entertaining all by itself. But I can tell you this. If you do this consistently throughout your script, your screenplay will be boring. There’s a major pitfall in this approach that writers often get wrong. They assume achieving THEIR GOAL is THE SCRIPTSHADOW SCREENPLAY TOURNAMENT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! Come one, come all, to the finals of the Scriptshadow Tournament! The day has finally arrived. After 500 entries, a first round of 40 chosen participants, a quarterfinal round, a semifinal round, and a whole lot of controversy, the checkered flag is just 48 hours away!SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Purists may have their li’l tantrums over the DAY/NIGHT slugline innovation, but I like it, too. Re: EXT / INT – pity we can’t overline as well as underline – overline would be like putting a roof over the slugline, whereas underline could be open skies.SCRIPTSHADOW
The newsletter is out!Sign up if you want me to send it to you! Genre: Horror Premise: Taking place right after the previous film, the Abbott family must leave their farm and find shelter in a world where the survivors may be more dangerous than the monsters. SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a huge SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) Introduce tons of obstacles into the climax.SHORT STORY REVIEW
Premise: Three Korean girls who have been adopted by American suburban families have their friendship tested when they conjure up a spell that releases their “mother.”. About: Today’s short story sold at the end of last year after being involved in a bidding war. Five offers came in, with Fox 2000 and 21 Laps winning the grand prize. THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE. Posted on April 12, 2018 | by admin. Type 1 On-the-nose. On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, in real life, people hold back on what they’re thinking. They talk around things instead of about them. YOUR BRIDESMAID IS A BITCH About: Your Bridesmaid is a Bitch landed in the middle of this year’s Black List. Duffield must have worked on his craft for a long time before breaking through with “Bridesmaid,” because this is some of the best writing I’ve ever seen from a newcomer. Writer: Brian Duffield. Details: 94 pages – undated (This is an early draftof the
SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Bill Montana Gillis • a year ago. The rants could be highly productive. The genre is an ordinary American woman who has a problem and uses her intellect to solve it. American women have so much more, more education, their own cars, they expect more of themselves.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
A supposedly haunted English boarding school to which a ghost debunker is invited. It has a lot of good elements, solid period atmosphere-it's set in the twenties- and the lead Rebecca Hall is fine. I believe it's taken from a novel. But it really doesn't work.AMATEUR WEEK
Amateur Week – Fascination 127. Welcome to Amateur Week! All week we’re going to be reviewing scripts from amateur writers that got the best response from this post. Time for you guys to take advantage of the opportunity. Hope we find something great. But even if we don’t, it should be a great week for learning why screenwriting isso hard!
MAN ON A LEDGE
Man On A Ledge. Posted on September 24, 2010 | by admin. Genre: Thriller. Premise: A suicide jumper is secretly orchestrating a jewel heist in order to clear himself of a crime he didn’t commit. About: It should be noted that this isn’t the draft that got the movie moving. Hot scribes Erich and Jon Hoeber, who wrote the upcoming GeekSCRIPTSHADOW
The newsletter is out!Sign up if you want me to send it to you! Genre: Horror Premise: Taking place right after the previous film, the Abbott family must leave their farm and find shelter in a world where the survivors may be more dangerous than the monsters. SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a huge SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) Introduce tons of obstacles into the climax.SHORT STORY REVIEW
Premise: Three Korean girls who have been adopted by American suburban families have their friendship tested when they conjure up a spell that releases their “mother.”. About: Today’s short story sold at the end of last year after being involved in a bidding war. Five offers came in, with Fox 2000 and 21 Laps winning the grand prize. THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE. Posted on April 12, 2018 | by admin. Type 1 On-the-nose. On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, in real life, people hold back on what they’re thinking. They talk around things instead of about them. YOUR BRIDESMAID IS A BITCH About: Your Bridesmaid is a Bitch landed in the middle of this year’s Black List. Duffield must have worked on his craft for a long time before breaking through with “Bridesmaid,” because this is some of the best writing I’ve ever seen from a newcomer. Writer: Brian Duffield. Details: 94 pages – undated (This is an early draftof the
SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Bill Montana Gillis • a year ago. The rants could be highly productive. The genre is an ordinary American woman who has a problem and uses her intellect to solve it. American women have so much more, more education, their own cars, they expect more of themselves.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
A supposedly haunted English boarding school to which a ghost debunker is invited. It has a lot of good elements, solid period atmosphere-it's set in the twenties- and the lead Rebecca Hall is fine. I believe it's taken from a novel. But it really doesn't work.AMATEUR WEEK
Amateur Week – Fascination 127. Welcome to Amateur Week! All week we’re going to be reviewing scripts from amateur writers that got the best response from this post. Time for you guys to take advantage of the opportunity. Hope we find something great. But even if we don’t, it should be a great week for learning why screenwriting isso hard!
MAN ON A LEDGE
Man On A Ledge. Posted on September 24, 2010 | by admin. Genre: Thriller. Premise: A suicide jumper is secretly orchestrating a jewel heist in order to clear himself of a crime he didn’t commit. About: It should be noted that this isn’t the draft that got the movie moving. Hot scribes Erich and Jon Hoeber, who wrote the upcoming GeekSCREENPLAY REVIEW
1 day ago · Premise: Two decades after three strange abandoned alien city-ships crash into earth, a mysterious secondary enemy attacks our planet, forcing us to protect ourselves with the crashed vessels’ unique alien tech (robotech). About: Sony has the rights to make a Robotech movie. At one point, AndySCREENPLAY REVIEW
6 hours ago · Premise: Aisha is an undocumented nanny caring for a privileged child. As she prepares for the arrival of her only son, who she left behind in her native country, a violent supernatural presence invades her reality, jeopardizing the American Dream she’s carefully pieced together. About: ThisSCREENPLAY REVIEW
While everyone clamors to perfect their Scriptshadow 250 entries, a bold group of screenwriting gummy bears choose to place their letter spaghetti in front of the interconnected computer sphere in hopes of rainbow transformation. May we wish them a transition to a higher state of being. Title: To Boldly Go Genre: Biopic Logline: In 1964, writer Gene Roddenberry struggles to get his vision onSCREENPLAY REVIEW
She had her script “My Teenage Daughter Is An Alien From Outer Space” make the 2016 Hit List. This script made last year’s Hit List with 52 votes, and was picked up by Akiva Goldman’s Weed Road production company, where it’s being developed in cooperation with Warner Brothers. Writer: Noga Pnueli. Details: 118 pages. SCREENWRITING ARTICLE So let’s summarize the keys to writing a great ending. 1) Know your ending before you start. 2) Understand where your character’s at at the beginning of the third act (he should be at his lowest point). 3) Write a strong character goal into your central plot. 4) Introduce tons of obstacles into the climax. AMATEUR SCREAMPLAY OFFERINGS Get Your Script Reviewed On Scriptshadow!: To submit your script for an Amateur Review, send in a PDF of your script, along with the title, genre, logline, and finally, something interesting about yourself and/or your script that you’d like us to post along with the scriptif reviewed.
HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY Scriptshadow Challenge: Describe James Bond in the comments section with what you learned today.Upvote the best descriptions! Let’s talk about character descriptions for a minute, shall we? You ever see that show “Botched,” about botched plastic surgeries?SCRIPT-TO-SCREEN
Genre: Action/Supernatural. Premise: A young man goes on an 85-mile journey in a post-apocalyptic wasteland filled with monsters to reunite with his true love. About: This was shaping up to be a big Paramount release until Covid hit. The script comes from Brian Duffield, who’s having a moment. 10 CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS TO KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF ANDY DUFRESNE, mid-20s, a wire rim glasses, three-piece suit. Under normal circumstances a respectable, solid citizen; hardly dangerous, perhaps even meek. But these circumstances are from from normal. He is disheveled, unshaven, and very drunk. A cigarette smolders in hismouth.
SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Writers: Steve Desmond and Michael Sherman (based on the novel by Paul Tremblay) Details: 100 pages. This is going to be a controversial comments section. I implore you, once again, to read the script first and then read my review. One look at the Amazon page for “Cabin” shows that it’s got 3 out of 5 stars on 790 ratings.SCRIPTSHADOW
The newsletter is out!Sign up if you want me to send it to you! Genre: Horror Premise: Taking place right after the previous film, the Abbott family must leave their farm and find shelter in a world where the survivors may be more dangerous than the monsters. SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a hugeSCRIPT-TO-SCREEN
Genre: Action/Supernatural. Premise: A young man goes on an 85-mile journey in a post-apocalyptic wasteland filled with monsters to reunite with his true love. About: This was shaping up to be a big Paramount release until Covid hit. The script comes from Brian Duffield, who’s having a moment. HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY Scriptshadow Challenge: Describe James Bond in the comments section with what you learned today.Upvote the best descriptions! Let’s talk about character descriptions for a minute, shall we? You ever see that show “Botched,” about botched plastic surgeries? YOUR BRIDESMAID IS A BITCH About: Your Bridesmaid is a Bitch landed in the middle of this year’s Black List. Duffield must have worked on his craft for a long time before breaking through with “Bridesmaid,” because this is some of the best writing I’ve ever seen from a newcomer. Writer: Brian Duffield. Details: 94 pages – undated (This is an early draftof the
WHAT MAKES A SCRIPT BORING? Their chemistry is entertaining all by itself. But I can tell you this. If you do this consistently throughout your script, your screenplay will be boring. There’s a major pitfall in this approach that writers often get wrong. They assume achieving THEIR GOAL is 10 SCREENPLAY TIPS FROM THE GREATEST SPORTS MOVIE EVER 6) MIDPOINT SHIFT ALERT – Remember, a midpoint shift is a severe event in the middle of the story that shifts the second half of the movie so it feels different from the first. In most cases, that moment makes things worse for your hero. But here, it actually makes things better. The mid-point shift of Hoosiers is when Jimmy (the star playerSCREENPLAY REVIEW
Writers: Steve Desmond and Michael Sherman (based on the novel by Paul Tremblay) Details: 100 pages. This is going to be a controversial comments section. I implore you, once again, to read the script first and then read my review. One look at the Amazon page for “Cabin” shows that it’s got 3 out of 5 stars on 790 ratings.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Bill Montana Gillis • a year ago. The rants could be highly productive. The genre is an ordinary American woman who has a problem and uses her intellect to solve it. American women have so much more, more education, their own cars, they expect more of themselves. THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE. Posted on April 12, 2018 | by admin. Type 1 On-the-nose. On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, in real life, people hold back on what they’re thinking. They talk around things instead of about them.SCRIPTSHADOW
The newsletter is out!Sign up if you want me to send it to you! Genre: Horror Premise: Taking place right after the previous film, the Abbott family must leave their farm and find shelter in a world where the survivors may be more dangerous than the monsters. SCRIPTSHADOW SPECIAL A Detroit cop investigating a case in Beverly Hills (Beverly Hills Cop). A time manager stuck on an island with all the time in the world (Cast Away). An alcoholic superhero (Hancock). These loglines will always catch a reader’s attention, so you’ll have a hugeSCRIPT-TO-SCREEN
Genre: Action/Supernatural. Premise: A young man goes on an 85-mile journey in a post-apocalyptic wasteland filled with monsters to reunite with his true love. About: This was shaping up to be a big Paramount release until Covid hit. The script comes from Brian Duffield, who’s having a moment. HOW TO PROPERLY DESCRIBE A CHARACTER IN A SCREENPLAY Scriptshadow Challenge: Describe James Bond in the comments section with what you learned today.Upvote the best descriptions! Let’s talk about character descriptions for a minute, shall we? You ever see that show “Botched,” about botched plastic surgeries? YOUR BRIDESMAID IS A BITCH About: Your Bridesmaid is a Bitch landed in the middle of this year’s Black List. Duffield must have worked on his craft for a long time before breaking through with “Bridesmaid,” because this is some of the best writing I’ve ever seen from a newcomer. Writer: Brian Duffield. Details: 94 pages – undated (This is an early draftof the
WHAT MAKES A SCRIPT BORING? Their chemistry is entertaining all by itself. But I can tell you this. If you do this consistently throughout your script, your screenplay will be boring. There’s a major pitfall in this approach that writers often get wrong. They assume achieving THEIR GOAL is 10 SCREENPLAY TIPS FROM THE GREATEST SPORTS MOVIE EVER 6) MIDPOINT SHIFT ALERT – Remember, a midpoint shift is a severe event in the middle of the story that shifts the second half of the movie so it feels different from the first. In most cases, that moment makes things worse for your hero. But here, it actually makes things better. The mid-point shift of Hoosiers is when Jimmy (the star playerSCREENPLAY REVIEW
Writers: Steve Desmond and Michael Sherman (based on the novel by Paul Tremblay) Details: 100 pages. This is going to be a controversial comments section. I implore you, once again, to read the script first and then read my review. One look at the Amazon page for “Cabin” shows that it’s got 3 out of 5 stars on 790 ratings.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Bill Montana Gillis • a year ago. The rants could be highly productive. The genre is an ordinary American woman who has a problem and uses her intellect to solve it. American women have so much more, more education, their own cars, they expect more of themselves. THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE. Posted on April 12, 2018 | by admin. Type 1 On-the-nose. On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, in real life, people hold back on what they’re thinking. They talk around things instead of about them.MISH-MASH MONDAY
1 day ago · Lots to talk about on this Mish-Mash Monday! First and foremost, Comedy Showdown scripts are due A WEEK FROM THURSDAY! I will be accepting entries all the way up until 8pm Pacific Time. At this point, your second draft should be finished. The only thing you shouldbe
SCREENPLAY REVIEW
26 minutes ago · Premise: Two decades after three strange abandoned alien city-ships crash into earth, a mysterious secondary enemy attacks our planet, forcing us to protect ourselves with the crashed vessels’ unique alien tech (robotech). About: Sony has the rights to make a Robotech movie. At one point, Andy THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE THE SIX FORMS OF BAD DIALOGUE. Posted on April 12, 2018 | by admin. Type 1 On-the-nose. On-the-nose dialogue comes in two flavors. Type 1 is where characters say exactly what they’re thinking. The reason it reads false is because, in real life, people hold back on what they’re thinking. They talk around things instead of about them.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Writers: Steve Desmond and Michael Sherman (based on the novel by Paul Tremblay) Details: 100 pages. This is going to be a controversial comments section. I implore you, once again, to read the script first and then read my review. One look at the Amazon page for “Cabin” shows that it’s got 3 out of 5 stars on 790 ratings.SCREENPLAY REVIEW
As Blumhouse expands its horror empire into new sub-genres, The Hunt is one of these new social commentary horror-thriller movies that are starting to make their move in the industry. This is a great sub-genre to be writing in right now. Everyone wants a piece of it. Writers: Nick Cuse & Damon Lindelof. SCREENWRITING ARTICLE The biggest problem — as I see it, at least — is that the Sequence Method leaves little room for a B Story, which basically leaves the story hinging on a singular journey — i.e, one man against something, obtaining something, or fighting against something. AND THE OSCAR GOES TO… HERE, YOU READ IT For me, the best film and script of the year goes to The Handmaiden. Darkly comic, and with so many twists and turns, it makes La La Land’s dace numbers look practically phoney.BOOK REVIEW
James Bond has a secret.. Transformers spin-offs are coming.. The Scriptshadow 250 deadline is four months away. Add that all up and divide it by two and you get Amateur Offerings! Title: FIELDS Genre: Sci-fi Thriller Logline: When a group of dysfunctional teenagers are thrust through a gateway into a dangerous alien world, they must race to escape before the gateway closes forever. TV PILOT – MISSION CONTROL The author of the best selling book and mega-smash box office hit, The Martian, comes to bat with his first TV pilot! Genre: TV Pilot – 1hour drama
SCREENPLAY REVIEW
Get Your Script Reviewed On Scriptshadow!: To submit your script for an Amateur Review, send in a PDF of your script, along with the title, genre, logline, and finally, something interesting about yourself and/or your script that you’d like us to post along with the scriptif reviewed.
* Home
* Concept Artists
* Get Script Notes!
* Contests
* Submit
* About
* Contact
HOW MANY DRAFTS SHOULD YOU WRITE? HOW DOES 160 SOUND? Posted on March 4, 2020 | by admin I finally finally FINALLY got to see Uncut Gems this weekend and, Holy Moses, it did not disappoint. This would have been my number one movie in 2019 had I seen it in the theaters. After watching the film, I do what I always do when I see something good, which is watch a thousand Youtube videos about the making of the film. And one such video caught my interest because it stated something I’d never heardbefore.
Until this moment, the script I’d heard had the most rewrites was Good Will Hunting. Nobody kept track. But rumors push it somewhere between 60-100 drafts. Well, it turns out Uncut Gems puts that number to shame. The Safdie Brothers, who directed the film, wrote 160 drafts of the script over a ten year period. Now before you feel guilty about having submitted your script to The Last Great Screenwriting Contest with only three drafts, it’s important that we distinguish why some of these Uncut Gems rewriteswere made.
When you’re directors or you’re a screenwriter working with a team of people trying to get a movie made, you’re constantly sending the script out to talent and every time you do that, it’s advantageous for you to cater the script to the actor you’re sending it to. The Safdie Brothers point out that they went through numerous NBA stars to try and find the professional basketball player character in their movie. Since they’re Jewish and Howard (the main character) was Jewish, they had Amare Stoudemire as the original character since he is Jewish himself. But then they heard that Kobe Bryant was looking to do some acting. Kobe is a completely different person than Amare. Not to mention, he existed in another stratosphere of stardom. Naturally, they had to rewrite the character to reflect this difference. In the end, Kobe decided that he didn’t want to act. He was more interested in directing. So that casting choice fell by the wayside. Now imagine going through that over and over again. Anybody who’s tried to get a movie made understands this hell. At this stage in the game, though, as an amateur writer trying to get noticed, you don’t have to worry about these kinds of rewrites. But then how many rewrites should you be writing? I realize this is a gray area. A draft to one person may be quick and dirty while a draft to someone else might be a full-on teardown. One writer may even vacillate between those two kinds of rewrites, depending on what stage the script is in. There are also specific types of “passes.” You can do a dialogue pass where you go in there, read all the dialogue, and try and spruce it up. You might do a character pass where you focus on a specific character in a rewrite and try to make everything about him/her pop more. But let’s say we’re averaging all of these together – both the long arduous structural rewrites and the quick and dirty dialogue polishes. I’d say that you need at least ten drafts to bring out the best in a script. And it’s probably closer to 20. But there’s good news. There are things that can knock this number down. For every three screenplays you’ve written, knock one draft off your total number of drafts per screenplay. That’s due to you knowing more and getting more right early on. Knock two drafts off if you do extensive outlines. And one draft off if you do character bios. The cause for the longest rewrites usually come from structural problems and the writer not having a good feel for the main characters. You can alleviate some of that if you do the workbeforehand.
However, there’s a truth about screenwriting that not a lot of people like to talk about that tends to stretch your workload into the 15-25 draft territory. And that’s that the original concept you went into the script with will often change. At some point, you’re going to realize that there’s a better version of your story. And in order to get to that version, you need to do a page 1 rewrite. It’s one of the worst parts of writing a script. Cause you think that the last five drafts of writing the script were now pointless. And the sad part is that a lot of times, we’ll hold on to that original idea simply because we don’t want to face reality. But it’s not as bad as you think. Your story is radically changing, yes. You’re starting over, yes. But because of those previous drafts, you know this world WAAAAY better than you did when you first started. So the new version of your script will be more populated with a lot morespecificity.
It’s funny because that very topic comes up in the 160 Draft Safdie Brothers video I watched. Josh Safdie talks about how he used to lie as a kid and he learned that the more specific he could make the lie, the more details he could add, the more believable the lie would be. Cause people would think, “There’s no way that could be untrue. There’s just too much detail.” So he incorporated that approach into their movies. The more detail you add, the more we’re going to believe this story is really happening. But getting back on topic, if there’s no way you can imagine writing 15-20 drafts of a script, you have to adjust your approach even more. For example, you will need a super detailed outline. You will need to pick a subject matter that you’re familiar with. For example, with Jason Gruich who wrote Cop Cam, he *IS* a cop. If he wasn’t a cop, people are going to be pointing out all the errors in procedure and how police precincts don’t work that way. Those things require moredrafts to fix.
You’ll also want to pick simpler stories. John Wick is going to be an easier script to write than Mission Impossible. Why? Cause there are less moving parts. That’s where screenwriting gets tough – when you’re managing multiple storylines, when you’re managing multiple character threads. But the real time wasted is having all those plot and character threads come together in an invisible way. I suspect one of the reasons Uncut Gems took so many drafts to write was it’s a very dense plot (even though the movie is good at hiding it). Howard loans out the “uncut gem” to Kevin Garnett, who leaves his championship ring for collateral. Howard then pawns that ring in order place a bet on a basketball game. He needs the uncut gem back from Garnett the next day in order to enter it into the auction where he hopes to cash it in for a million bucks. Howard has a wife who’s pushing for divorce. He’s got a mistress who he can’t decide if he wants to run away with. And he also has outstanding debts with three different bookies around town, not to mention a side business of employing a dude to bring rich athletes to his jewelry store. I don’t care who you are. You do not figure that out all in one draft. And I think that’s the way you have to look at it. Yeah, draft-writing is mainly problem-solving. You’re fixing plot developments that don’t work. You’re adding texture and depth to your weaker characters. You’re juicing up your final act with a better location. But draft-writing is also the primary process for discovering new ideas. Every time you write a new draft, you get new and better ideas that you can put into the script. The more you do that, the better the script gets. And believe me, I can tell. I can tell when a writer hasn’t put a lot of work into a script. Yesterday’s scriptwas a clear
four-draft script to me. It’s that point where the writer understands what his movie needs to be but he hasn’t been with the script long enough to integrate all the changes needed to execute thatvision.
With all this being said, if you’re 20+ drafts into your script, you have to start asking if you’re making the script better with each new draft. Sometimes writers write drafts that only make things different, not better. And that’s a dangerous pitfall to fall into. How do you know when you’re finished? When there are no more drafts to write? That’s never an easy question to answer. For each writer, it’s different. For each SCRIPT it may be different. But for me it was when the time it’d take to write a draft was more laborious than the percentage of improvement a new draft would bring. And that was usually around 15 drafts. So I think that’s a good gauge to start asking if the script is good enough to keep rewriting. Cause sometimes it isn’t and you have to let a script go. But if something feels good and you have that feeling that it’s almost there, then by all means, keep writing those drafts. I’ll throw the question to you guys. How many drafts do you write? _Carson does feature screenplay consultations , TV Pilot Consultations, and logline consultations. Logline consultations go for $25 a piece or $40 for unlimited tweaking. You get a 1-10 rating, a 200-word evaluation, and a rewrite of the logline. They’re extremely popular so if you haven’t tried one out yet, I encourage you to give it a shot. If you’re interested in any consultation package, e-mail Carsonreeves1@gmail.com with the subject line: CONSULTATION. Don’t start writing a script or sending a script out blind. Let Scriptshadow help you get it in shape first!_ Posted in Uncategorized| 138 Comments
SCREENPLAY REVIEW – FOLLOW HER Posted on March 4, 2020 | by adminGenre: Thriller
Premise: Told in documentary style with clips from her Youtube channel, a social media influencer mysteriously disappears. About: This is the second runner up script from The A-List, which is not an actual list but a screenwriting contest set up specifically for entertainment assistants. The scripts are judged by the assistants and, in order to prevent any favoritism, have anonymous title pages. I reviewed the runner up script, The Mermaid, last week.
Writer: Kyle Tague
Details: 91 pages
_Should Parasite’s Park So-Dam be followed?_ I love forgetting I’m reading something. It always gives me a high. That’s why I read so much stuff. I’m searching for that next high! You go through a lot of junk to find the pearls. What is a pearl in the screenwriting world? That’s the question everyone wants the answer to, right? The truth is, you don’t know until you see it. From there, it’s easy to backwards analyze why it works. And yet if you follow the exact formula that made that script good, it doesn’t work when you apply it to your own script. It’s almost as if each good script exists inside an impenetrable bubble, a bubble Hollywood’s been trying to pop for 100 years. The only thing they’ve come up with is to make a second bubble and to hire the person who made the bubble in the first place. I will tell you that one successful element I see in a lot of these breakout scripts is when a writer tells a familiar story in an unfamiliar way. It sort of jolts you. Missing person. Big deal. Oh, wait. I’ve never seen this specific type of missing person in a story told this way before. Okay, now you’ve got me. “Follow Her” is that kind of script. And it had me from ‘hello.’ But that doesn’t mean we stayed together. I’ve seen plenty of scripts start strong and end weak. Would this be another one? We’re informed on the first page that everything we see will be told in documentary form. We’ll be notified where each piece of footage came from at the start of the scene. So, for example, if this is an uploaded Youtube video, we’ll be told it’s an uploaded Youtubevideo.
We’re then informed by the documentarian team, Chris and Danielle, that Ali, the subject of the documentary, is missing and presumed dead. We then jump into an explanation of what a social media influencer is, and that Ali was an aspiring actress who tried to expand her marketability by being an influencer. Cut to a few of Ali’s influencer videos, where we see she’s obviously following the Influencer 101 template. She’s not being herself. She’s being some chippier happier version of Ali. She’s doing grocery hauls and mascara reviews. Boring stuff that isn’t getting her any new followers. In Skype conversations with her actor boyfriend, Drew (who’s on location shooting a show), Ali laments how difficult it is to gain followers. He tells her to keep at it so she does. One day, Ali receives a stalker video of her which was uploaded to an anonymous linked site. It’s video of her shopping. Ali links the video to her followers and goes on a rant about men and creepiness. It’s raw and unfiltered and it goes viral, getting 3 million views. Ali is surprised by the success of the clip. Then, a few days later, there’s another one! Except this one feels a little… off. Some internet sleuths figure out the truth. The second video is linked to her boyfriend’s e-mail address, proving Ali and Drew conspired to fake the stalking. Ali and Drew then make an apology video, admitting that she did it for the views. But that the first one was not fake. Ali’s “Smollet” moment is picked up by right leaning Youtube channels and a Ben Shapiro wannabe, Nicholas, takes Ali to the woodshed as representing everything that’s wrong with the left. They’re all victims. And yet when you get down to it, their victimhood is a lie. Nicholas’s audience then begins to REALLY stalk Ali, who no longer has the support of the public on her side. In fact, with every new video Ali posts of someone stalking her, the internet makes fun of her, calling her mentally disturbed and desperate for attention. Then things get really weird, as videos start appearing online of Ali’s stalkers dressing in cloaks and sneaking into her house where they video her sleeping. It’s not too long after that that Ali disappears. The police have no leads to go on. The public accuses Drew. But what our documentarians, the ones who have told us this story, are about to find out, is that Ali’s disappearance may be due to something… otherworldly. Oh man how I was rooting for this one! It started off strong. Like I said – we’ve got a familiar story told in an unfamiliar way. And the writer seemed to understand the world he was documenting. Influencers have a very unique and weird life. And I felt Tague did a good job of capturing that. For example, when Ali gets caught for faking the second video, the solution isn’t to come clean. It’s to “come clean for the views.” She’s more than happy to apologize, but only because apology videos get a lot ofviews.
Likewise, the Right-Leaning Conservative channel stuff felt dead-on. I’ve seen these guys make these videos before, where they chastise influencers like this. Then when they realize that the chastising gets THEM more views, they drum up the chastising and make that public figure their personal punching bag. Here’s where things started to go south for me, though. Once Nicholas sends all these followers to harass Ali, we venture into some pretty serious stuff. Numerous characters, both online and in person, threaten to rape and kill her. And yet it’s all dealt with in a sort of Happy Death Day tone. It’s supposed to be goofy entertainment. I’m not sure once you aggressively bring rape and death into a script that you can get away with that. I suppose some writers who are extremely sophisticated in how they handle tone can pull it off. But this isn’t that. So it leaves you in this weird viewer purgatory wondering if you’re supposed to be horrified or entertained. And then it really falls off the rails (spoilers) when we’re asked to accept a late-arriving supernatural element. At first we think these people slipping into Ali’s home are creepy alt-right trolls. But then it’s inferred that they might be demonic. I’m all for adding supernatural elements WHEN THEY’RE ORGANIC. But when they’re not, it can be a script killer. Especially when you add those elements late in the story. It seemed like the writer wasn’t sure what to do with his ending. So he did a quick rewrite where he inserted a few setups in the last 25 pages in order to infer that Ali’s disappearance was due to supernatural factors. When you have a strong concept on its own, you don’t need to desperately add a supernatural component to make it even more marketable. This is a good idea without the supernatural. It’s already inventive. It’s already unique. It’s a good murder-mystery. Just keep it that way. There was no reason to throw this other random storyline in at the last second. I guess I should’ve seen it coming. Whereas the beginning of the script felt sure of itself, you could feel the writer searching for his narrative once he crossed the halfway point. It became more about gimmicky plot developments than staying with what got you there. What got you there was a job we don’t normally hear about in movies (influencer) and a unique way of telling the story (documentary-style). Once you begin descending into the kind of tone they use in Child’s Play, you know your script is toast. What the hell did I just read?wasn’t for me
worth the read
impressive
genius
What I learned: I’ve read a half dozen scripts over the last 4-5 months where the concepts were great all on their own but then the writers introduced unneeded horror or supernatural elements. A late supernatural twist can sometimes put a movie over the top (Cloverfield Lane) but it more often sinks the movie, as it breaks the contract you and the reader made when you first presented the idea. Whenever you say, “I’m giving you Movie A,” and then in the end you give them “Movie B,” expect disappointment. Posted in Uncategorized| 95 Comments
SCREENPLAY REVIEW – KLEIN Posted on March 3, 2020 | by adminGenre: Drama/Comedy
Premise: Life as a single dad hasn’t been a challenge for Las Vegas blackjack dealer Mike Klein, until his ex resurfaces after walking out on the family six years ago. About: This script finished with 10 votes on last year’s Black List. The Black List hasn’t been holding up its end of the bargain lately. You know, since it isn’t providing us with a list of quality screenplays. Lots of duds lately. Will the losing streak continue? Apropos question since this movie takes place in VEGAS. Writer: Derek ElliottDetails: 104 pages
_Chris Pine for Klein please!_ Before we get to this script, we need to talk about the logline. Keep in mind that loglines that end up on the Black List are often written by managers or agents who have no experience writing loglines. Those same reps may ask the writer to come up with a logline and since this version of the logline isn’t required to hook potential readers, the writers may treat it more as a generic one-sentence summary as opposed to what a traditional logline should be, which is a marketing hook. So why is this logline weak: “Life as a single dad hasn’t been a challenge for Las Vegas blackjack dealer Mike Klein, until his ex resurfaces after walking out on the family six years ago.” It just feels bland. An ex resurfaces? Who cares? That’s a _subplot_ in any other movie. However, now that I’ve read the script, I see that that’s actually what the script is about. Which means we don’t have a lot to work with. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look for ways to make your logline sexier. When you write a low-concept script, one word here or there could make the difference. So in “Klein’s” case, you want to look for the splashiest moment you can weave into the logline. The first sequence of the script has our hero, Klein, getting a frantic call from his girlfriend. He jumps in his car and screeches across town to find his drugged-out girlfriend, Ali, standing next to a car in the middle of a 104 degree Vegas day with their 18 month son locked inside. Klein smashes the window to get their son out. But the damage is done. Ali knows she’s incapable of parenting in her condition and leaves thenext morning.
That’s a pretty intense scenario and since it’s a pivotal part of the plot, that’s what I would try to inject into the logline. Therefore, the new logline might look something like this: A Vegas dealer’s life is turned upside-down when his ex-girlfriend, who almost killed their son six years ago in a drug-fueled accident, attempts to re-enter his life. Is this perfect? No. But it’s a lot sexier than “Life as a single dad hasn’t been a challenge for Las Vegas blackjack dealer Mike Klein, until his ex resurfaces after walking out on the family six years ago.” Look, I’m all for scripts like this. These are actually the kinds of scripts that put The Blacklist on the map. Low-concept high-execution character pieces. However, you have to live in Reality Land. The only way for a script like this to become big is you gotta be a really strong writer. And then you have to nail the execution. And then you have to get enough people to read it so that it makes the Black List. All of that starts with your pitch – and most of the time, your pitch will be one sentence in an e-mail. If that doesn’t draw someone’s attention, they’re not going to read the script. And then nothing else I justlisted can happen.
So if you have a low-concept screenplay, you have to have an A+ logline. Don’t settle for anything less. Back to “Klein.” Where did we leave off? Right, so after the opening sequence we flash forward six years and Mike Klein is now 28. His son, who he saved in the car that day, is now 8. The two live together with a low-level Jazz band that plays around the sketchier joints in Las Vegas. One day while at his job dealing blackjack, Mike gets a call. It’s Ali, his ex. She swears things are different. She has a stable boyfriend. She’s gotten better. She wants to meet her son. Mike hems and haws but finally allows it. And even though his son, Vinny, is weirded out seeing his mom, he likes her and wants to hang out withher more.
Mike, meanwhile, meets a cool girl, Kate, who he plans to have sex with and never talk to again, because that’s how much he trusts women after what happened with Ali. However, the more Vinny spends time with his mom, the more time Mike has to himself. And he actually starts to like Kate. Complicating matters, he and Ali still have a ton of chemistry, leading to a couple of sexual slip-ups. At a certain point, Mike realizes while he thought he was a good father all this time in Ali’s absence, he’s actually been hanging on by a thread. He needs Ali in his life. Not as his lover or his wife. But as his son’s mother. It takes him a long time before he can trust Ali in that role. But when he does, it’s like his life has finally clicked into place. This was a really good script. I learned a number of things reading it. The first is you can use MENTAL LABELS to help write relationships in your movie. Take Mike and his 8 year old son, Vinny. They do not have a normal father-son relationship. Vinny has to hang around the casinos all the time. He plays casino games with Mike’s adult friends. The two lay bets together. They talk like FRIENDS. And that’s THE LABEL. They are not father-son. They are FRIENDS. Now that you have that label in your head, you know how to write all of their interactions. Mike is never going to say, “Brush your teeth and wash your hands then go to bed.” He’s going to say, “Hey, did the Golden Knights cover thespread tonight?”
By labeling relationships, your dialogue is going to be so much easier to write. So this is a powerful tool to use. And you can do it for individual characters as well. Look at The Office. Michael Scott. He never grew up. He’s a perpetually 15 year old dorky kid who just wants friends. So every reaction and interaction he has with others will go through that label. Go ahead. Turn on any episode of The Office on Netflix right now and watch it with that in mind. You’ll see that every thing Michael says is said through that filter. Another thing I realized was that if you’re going to write a low-concept idea, it helps if there’s a large element within your concept that’s specialized. Here, that’s Las Vegas. There are lots of references to specific things about Vegas, the way dealer jobs work, the off-strip casino world, being a band trying to get gigs in Vegas, everybody in this movie is always betting. When your subject matter is weak, you need something to pick up the slack. So whether that’s a unique place or a unique setting, it helps when you’ve got something that the reader is learning about throughout the story. I always remind writers that you’re trying to give your readers a new experience. If everything in your script is something common or generic, it’s extremely hard to keep readers invested. This is a really solid character piece, guys. Every character here felt honest. I liked that we never went down the obvious path. Mike and Ali do not end up together. The climax is them agreeing to co-parent their son. It’s messy. It’s a little awkward. But, guess what? That’s life. Life doesn’t always get wrapped up in a bow. And this script does a really good job nailing that. What the hell did I just read?wasn’t for me
worth the read
impressive
genius
What I learned: JUST SAY NO!!! In one of their first meetings, Ali asks Mike: “Do you think maybe I can have a day along with him this weekend?” “Maybe,” Mike says. “I might be able to arrange that.” —- WRONG!!!! — Mike doesn’t say that. I lied. What does Mike really say? He says, “No.” When one character asks another character for something, have them say, “No.” In movies, “yes” is boring. Meanwhile, “no” forces a character to overcome obstacles, to try harder, to be more clever, to come up with a solution. “Yes” may be the easier answer to keep your plot humming along without having to think. But “no” is almost always the moreinteresting answer.
Posted in Uncategorized| 88 Comments
MOVIE REVIEW – THE INVISIBLE MAN Posted on March 1, 2020 | by adminGenre: Horror
Premise: After her abusive boyfriend commits suicide, a woman begins to think he’s found a way to haunt her from the grave. About: Leigh Whannell directed a cool little sci-fi movie that nobody saw called “Upgrade.” Jason Blum was impressed enough with the result that he gave him this film, a new take on Universal’s monsterverse character, the Invisible Man. The film beat out expectations this weekend, taking in a “monster” 29 million bucks. The film is also getting very high praise from critics, snatching up a 90% score on Rotten Tomatoes. Oh to be Jason Blum. One weekend, you’re dodging calls after Fantasy Island tanks, and a brief month later you’re back on top of Hollywood again. Writer: Leigh Whannell (based on the novel by H.G. Wells) Details: 2 hours long You’ve been invisibly penetrated with hyperbole everywhere you turn. “Elizabeth Moss in the greatest female role in a decade.” “Horror will never be the same after The Invisible Man.” “Is The Invisible Man a modern masterpiece?” You guys come to this site because I’m not in the pockets of the studios. I don’t have anyone to answer to. In an increasingly “my team vs. your team” business, I’m one of the last reviewers who can look at a movie objectively and tell you whether it’s good orbad.
So is The Invisible Man good?The answer is: !!!
You like that? I made the answer invisible. If you want the uninvisible answer, you’ll have to get through the plot summary. The Invisible Man starts with our heroine, Cecilia, escaping a big rich Tony Stark like home on the bluffs of an ocean. She dashes for a remote road where she’s scheduled her sister to pick her up and whisk her off to freedom. Just before they leave, Cecilia’s scientist boyfriend, Adrian, crashes into the car window screaming at Cecilia. They drive off and we realize that Cecilia has just escaped from a living nightmare of a relationship. Two weeks later we catch up with Cecilia at her African-American friend, James’, home. James lives with his daughter, Sydney, and are acting as a hideout home since Adrian doesn’t know that Cecilia knows them. But that turns out to be a moot point because a few days later, Cecilia gets the news that Adrian committed suicide. She’ll never have to deal with him again. At least that’s what she thought. Cecilia begins to see and hear strange things in the home, like when she drags a blanket along the floor only to have it stop mid-stride. She looks down to see what appears to be a footprint holding the blanket in place. After several of these unexplainable moments occur, Cecilia believes that Adrian has found a way to cheat death and is now haunting her. Unfortunately, when she shares her opinion with James, he kiiiiiin-da thinks she’slosing it.
When Cecilia receives a large sum of money in Adrian’s will, she suspects it’s another form of control. And Adrian’s creepy brother, Tom, is doing nothing to dispel that notion. When Cecilia’s sister gets e-mails that Cecilia never sent telling her she hopes she dies and Cecilia gets blamed when Sydney gets punched out of nowhere, Cecilia realizes what’s happening. Adrian is slowly and meticulously driving her insane. The question is, how is he doing this? And canCecilia stop it?
I posed the question before the plot summary? Does this movie live upto the hype?
The answer, without question, is yes!!! There’s a whole lot of good going on here, specifically on the screenwriting front. Whannell makes a lot of great choices that elevate this beyond typical horror fare. Let’s take the opening scene. I always tell you guys you gotta have a great opening scene that pulls the reader in. This movie has that. Cecilia is trying to leave Adrian and must do so at 5 in the morning in this big empty echo-y house without making any noise. It’s a very tense scene. But the reason I liked it is because it wasn’t the typical teaser scene I see most writers write. Most writers either do the flash-forward thing to get a cheap scare in, before writing, “2 weeks earlier.” And jumping back in time to before everything that led to that moment happened. It’s so lazy and overdone. I love when a writer can give us a tense teaser that organically fits into the beginning of the movie’s timeframe. All Cecilia is doing here is leaving a house. And yet it’s one of the best scenes in the film. The moment I knew this movie was going to be good happened during this sequence. The house has a complex security system. She needs to turn the security off in order to escape without any alarms going off. Now we could’ve easily had her covertly snag Adrian’s laptop right there in the adjacent room and turn off the security system that way. But here’s what Wahnnell does instead. He has Cecilia go downstairs into Adrian’s “Iron Man” like lab and access the security system from a computer in that room. Why am I telling you this? Because good screenwriters look to achieve multiple objectives in a scene. We needed to explain to the audience that Adrian was a high-level scientist. One look at this lab and we now know that. So by accessing the computer in this lab as opposed to upstairs, allows us to multitask. We’re giving the reader more info in less time. Any writer can set up 17 different important story points in 17 different scenes. It’s the good screenwriters who can take 17 things and convey them in 3-4 scenes. But the biggest achievement of this movie, by far, was its ability to take a premise where the novelty could die off quickly and extend it into an exciting piece of entertainment that lasted two hours. How did it achieve this? This is one of the most problematic things I see in contained and horror specs. For example, I read a lot of home invasion screenplays. And, at a certain point, it becomes silly that the bad guy hasn’t killed our good guys yet. The only reason it hasn’t happened is because the writer is pulling out every trick in the book to try and extend the story out for a full feature-length running time. It took me a minute to figure out how Invisible Man wasn’t suffering from that. But then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. Adrian wasn’t trying to kill Cecilia. He was trying to drive herinsane.
Note the difference. If all he cared about was killing her, he could’ve done that within the first five minutes of entering her friend’s house. Movie over. Therefore, if he didn’t kill her within those five minutes, we, the audience, would know that it’s only because the writer is stalling to draw out the running time. But if you’re trying to drive someone insane, you do that over time. It’s like a chain where you’re adding one link after another. This character’s motivation is control. He wants to get her into her weakest mental state so he has total control over her. This was the key to this screenplay working. It makes sense that the villain wastaking his time.
But even by doing that, the story is still too simple to extend to a full 2 hours. So the writer had to do ONE MORE THING that would justify the length. And that thing is something all screenwriters have to do at least once in their screenplay. We’re all terrified of it. Most of us instead take the safe route. But you need to do this if you’re going to keep the audience interested. And that’s to create, either at the midpoint or a little after the midpoint, a big moment that the audience never saw coming. (Major Spoiler by the way). That occurs here after Cecilia breaks into Adrian’s home and hides a physical piece of his cloaking technology just as Adrian returns home. Cecilia gets her skeptical sister to meet her at a restaurant and explains to her that Adrian is invisible and she’s got the proof. Right at that moment, a steak knife lifts all on its own, slits the sister’s throat, and then slams into Cecilia’s hand to make it look like she did it. It’s a completely shocking moment cause we didn’t think the sister was gonna die. And especially not here in this safe public place. But there’s more going on here than meets the eye. The reason people are afraid to make choices like this is because they’re afraid to deal with the consequences of that choice. If you don’t kill off the sister here, you have a clear path to the climax. She and the sister team up, break back into the house to steal the technology, of course Adrian will be there in his invisible suit and attack them. Will they or won’t they get out alive? Blah blah blah. Cecilia somehow tricks him and kills him. The End. But when you have your hero murder someone in public, there’s no way out of that. You have to deal with the real world consequences of that action. Cecilia has to get taken to jail. She’s not Sara Connor so it’s not like she’s going to break out of prison. So now you’ve got your hero stuck in a prison with no way out. If I went down that potential road in my head, I would’ve seen a narrative dead end. I just couldn’t see a believable way of getting Cecilia out of prison. She can’t escape herself (without the writer’s help). Everyone saw her murder her sister so a judge isn’t going to release her (unless the writer cheats). And if she does manage to escape, every cop in the city is going to be after her. It almost becomes a different movie that we didn’t pay to see. But here’s the thing. When you put your hero into tough situations, it forces you to be creative and come up with ideas to get them out. Whannell embraces the setting of the mental holding facility, eventually bringing Adrian there to continue his torture of Cecilia, then using the conflict between those two to cleverly create a break-out situation that was believable. At that point, I was really impressed with what I was seeing. This is good screenwriting. And it continued to kick butt all the way to theclimax.
Finally, Whannell did the right thing when it came to making his “message” movie. HE PUT THE MOVIE FIRST AND THE MESSAGE SECOND. When you put the message first, it’s a commercial for your beliefs. When you put the movie first, it’s a good movie that gets you thinking about the social message later. Yes, there were a few “message” things that bothered me. For example, no white man comes away unscathed in this film. Even the throwaway job interview character had to make some inappropriate remark about how hot Cecilia looked. As if none of us white dudes are capable of getting through a conversation without being an a-hole. But I didn’t care because Whannell so clearly put the focus on making a great movie first. I mean, this was a high-quality riveting suspenseful screenplay. And Elizabeth Moss does a great job in therole of Cecilia.
In other words, the hype train was right about this one. It’s one of the best movies of the year so far. What the hell did I just watch?wasn’t for me
worth the price of admissionimpressive
genius
What I learned: If your hero is not active, your villain must be EXTREMELY active. Cecilia spends the majority of this movie in rooms thinking she sees things. It’s as passive a character as you can write. If you’re writing this kind of storyline, you MUST make your villain active or else there’s nothing pushing on the narrative. The villain, her boyfriend, is always on the hunt, always planning his next deception. That ACTIVITY keeps the plot moving along. Posted in Uncategorized| 114 Comments
DO NOT FEAR, THE FIRST NEWSLETTER OF 2020 IS HERE!!! Posted on March 1, 2020 | by adminCHECK YOUR INBOXES!
Alert your SPAM folders and declassify your PROMOTIONS folders. The Scriptshadow Newsletter should be there. This newsletter covers it all. You know I’ve got some Star Wars breakdown for ya. Then I get into all the wild projects being greenlit around town. I talk about Quibi. Who DOESN’T talk about Quibi?? I give you two Scriptshadow screenrwiting tips of the month that I PROMISE you will not be able to survive without. There’s an update on me transitioning into producing. Oh, and there’s SO MANY TRAILER REACTIONS!!! How can one man cover so many reactions to trailers in one unified piece of writing?? Only this newsletter knows. Finally, I review the latest major TV show adaptation, a series of books that have sold over 80 million copies. Get your fantasy on. It should be enough to keep you entertained until Monday, when I review – DUH DUH DUHHHHH – The Invisible Man. He’s a big bad man. And he’s invisible! Sounds like an unfortunate situation for anyone who gets in his way. Truth be told, The Invisible Man has more screenwriting tips inside of it than any movie I’ve seen in half a year. How’s thatfor a teaser?
If you want to read my newsletter, you have to sign up. So if you’re not on the mailing list, e-mail me at CARSONREEVES1@GMAIL.COM with the subject line, “NEWSLETTER!” and I’ll send it to you. p.s. For those of you who keep signing up but don’t receive the newsletter, try sending me another e-mail address. E-mailing programs are notoriously quirky and there may be several reasons why your e-mail address/server is rejecting the newsletter. One of which is your server is bad and needs to be spanked. Posted in Uncategorized| 61 Comments
* Page 1 of 634
* 1
* 2
* 3
* 4
* 5
* 6
* 7
* 8
* 9
* 10
* ...
* 634
* >
Facebook Twitter
SEARCH
MY TOP 25
* Desperate Hours
* Dogs of Babel
* The Brigands Of Rattleborge* Mixtape
* When The Streetlights Go On* After Hailey
* The Disciple Program* Monster Problems
* Where Angels Die
* Executive Search
* Your Bridesmaid Is A Bitch* Bad Education
* Jojo Rabbit (NEW!!!!) * The Ends Of The Earth * Vivien Hasn't Been Herself Lately (NEW!) * Catherine the Great * Shadow In The Cloud (review on Newsletter only - sign up!) * Meet Cute (**NEW**)* Hot Air
* Sunflower
* Origin Of A Species* Meat (NEW!!!)
* Passengers (G. J. Pruss)* Bump
* Tell No One
* Holland, Michigan
TOP 10 AMATEUR SCRIPTS! * Rose in the Darkness* Patisserie
* Fascination 127
* Keeping Time
* Fatties
* The Devil's Hammer* Primal
* The Savage South
* Real Monsters
* Reunion
READER TOP 25
* Killing On Carnival Row* Smoke and Mirrors
* The Brigands Of Rattleborge * Untitled Chef Project* The Grey
* Drive
* Passengers
* Django Unchained
* Seeking a Friend At The End Of The World* Safe House
* Nautica
* Tell No One
* Roundtable
* Mixtape
* Dogs Of Babel
* All You Need Is Kill * The Gangster Squad* The F Word
* Seven Psychopaths
* Father Daughter Time* After Hailey
* The Muppet Man
* L.A. Rex
* The Voices
* College Republicans SCRIPT REVIEWS BY RATING SCRIPT REVIEWS BY GENREMORE FUN!
* ScriptShadow Screenwriting and Screenplay Reviews* |
* Copyright © ScriptShadow, 2012. All rights reserved.Details
Copyright © 2024 ArchiveBay.com. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | DMCA | 2021 | Feedback | Advertising | RSS 2.0