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DAYS TO REMEMBER
Tomorrow marks one month since an acquaintance’s son passed away. I try really hard to remember these dates for others, and in thinking of what to say to her tomorrow, it got me thinking. I want to say, this is the first, of many. This first one is the hardest. The 12th oneisn’t far
THE MORE THINGS CHANGE As this year comes to a close, there's a lot of reflecting. I still am not ready for holidays. I see other loss mothers/families, esp ones without living children, and I just have no idea how they do it. How do they put up a tree? How do they celebrate? I wish I could. IAM I FORGETTING?
Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. And wenoted, just how
PHOTOS OF MYLEE
Visit the post for more. MYLEE’S ONE SECOND EVERYDAY VIDEO There's this amazing app, that can record one second of everyday of your life or an event. Here's our video that sadly covers all of our wonderful Mylee's life. It can be painful to watch because how can this wonderful life be captured in such a short video, and the endjust comes out of
DREAMS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW She came to me in my dream last night. In the grief community, it's a common question/desire: to be visited by your Angel baby. In my dream, we weren't at our current home, but it was a home. HEART ACHE – PAGE 2 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Posts about heart ache written by jaymelee1. I've never been a real big fan of holidays. A combination of the extreme ways I am an introvert, childhood memories, and social anxiety never made me a goodfit for them.
SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. ABOUT – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW This blog is dedicated in loving memory of our daughter, Mylee Frances Snowden. She was only earth side with us for a far too short nine and a half months. Those months were filled with immeasurable joy, constant learning and laughing, and happiness that is beyond MAY 2021 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW 1 post published by jaymelee1 during May 2021. Mother’s Day can be a bitch of a day. Even before I ever thought about having children of my own, like most holidays for me, Mother’s Day was a complicated one.DAYS TO REMEMBER
Tomorrow marks one month since an acquaintance’s son passed away. I try really hard to remember these dates for others, and in thinking of what to say to her tomorrow, it got me thinking. I want to say, this is the first, of many. This first one is the hardest. The 12th oneisn’t far
THE MORE THINGS CHANGE As this year comes to a close, there's a lot of reflecting. I still am not ready for holidays. I see other loss mothers/families, esp ones without living children, and I just have no idea how they do it. How do they put up a tree? How do they celebrate? I wish I could. IAM I FORGETTING?
Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. And wenoted, just how
PHOTOS OF MYLEE
Visit the post for more. MYLEE’S ONE SECOND EVERYDAY VIDEO There's this amazing app, that can record one second of everyday of your life or an event. Here's our video that sadly covers all of our wonderful Mylee's life. It can be painful to watch because how can this wonderful life be captured in such a short video, and the endjust comes out of
DREAMS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW She came to me in my dream last night. In the grief community, it's a common question/desire: to be visited by your Angel baby. In my dream, we weren't at our current home, but it was a home. HEART ACHE – PAGE 2 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Posts about heart ache written by jaymelee1. I've never been a real big fan of holidays. A combination of the extreme ways I am an introvert, childhood memories, and social anxiety never made me a goodfit for them.
WEEKLY – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW I made it a week. One week of knowing I'm pregnant and surviving. One week of no Xanax or drinking. One week of nausea and exhaustion and insomnia and anxiety. One week of happiness and fear. One week of accepting what will be, will be. I don't know if it's a lack of hope,but
MYLEE’S ONE SECOND EVERYDAY VIDEO There's this amazing app, that can record one second of everyday of your life or an event. Here's our video that sadly covers all of our wonderful Mylee's life. It can be painful to watch because how can this wonderful life be captured in such a short video, and the endjust comes out of
PTSD – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Earlier this week, Brian and I had an interesting discussion about FaceBook. He’s off of it, for a myriad of reasons. I’m still on. For me, it’s one of the few places where I can only talk about my grief, my medical issues, my happiness, among people who understandand can relate.
MYLEE’S PLAYLIST
The funeral home that hosted Mylee's memorial said we could bring our own music. As she was only 9 months old, her favorite songs were mostly the theme songs to shows on Baby First TV. When I used to rock her to sleep we'd listen to vitamin string quartet's Bon Iver or Beatles versions. When MYLEE’S BIRTH STORY I feel like I keep saying this: this last week has been hard. It somehow seems to get harder every day. I know at some point it will stop feeling harder. At the sad, sad time when this becomes somehow more normal. Shannon just stopped by. She had one of the final taskson our
STARING AT THE SIDEWALK A while back I mentioned a Facebook mom group that sent an elephant and a necklace for me. I wear the necklace daily, with my cremation necklace. Mylee's name is engraved on the necklace from the group in a way, that when I look down I can see her name. I've received a coupleof
TRADING IN – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Today we turned my car back into the dealership. The lease is up in two months, and we're over mileage, Notorious's (my car's name) time was up. And last month I got a new lease that ended up saving us a bunch of money. So it was time. But I still found myself hugging the TRIGGERS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Some triggers come expectedly. Like on the one month mark from Mylee's death or when I drive by her day care on a regular basis. Some triggers come unexpectedly. Like when I received a catalog with first birthday party ideas and party favors. And then there's some that WANDERING – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW For three days, I did not leave the hospital. So when it was finally over, we loaded our stuff in Trevor's car, Brian drove home with them and I drove home with Shannon. I handed my 24 hour badge back in. "Are you sure you don't need it?" "Yes." "Was the patient discharged?" "No,she
DECEMBER 2018
So, I'm sitting on here on Christmas, after eating a frozen Red Baron Pizza, while watching Top Model and drinking Tito's and Diet Coke in pjs and underwear in bed, after walking Buster for 20 minutes while I cursed at cars and repeatedly said "go potty" to buster. SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. ABOUT – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW This blog is dedicated in loving memory of our daughter, Mylee Frances Snowden. She was only earth side with us for a far too short nine and a half months. Those months were filled with immeasurable joy, constant learning and laughing, and happiness that is beyond MAY 2021 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW 1 post published by jaymelee1 during May 2021. Mother’s Day can be a bitch of a day. Even before I ever thought about having children of my own, like most holidays for me, Mother’s Day was a complicated one.DAYS TO REMEMBER
Tomorrow marks one month since an acquaintance’s son passed away. I try really hard to remember these dates for others, and in thinking of what to say to her tomorrow, it got me thinking. I want to say, this is the first, of many. This first one is the hardest. The 12th oneisn’t far
THE MORE THINGS CHANGE As this year comes to a close, there's a lot of reflecting. I still am not ready for holidays. I see other loss mothers/families, esp ones without living children, and I just have no idea how they do it. How do they put up a tree? How do they celebrate? I wish I could. IAM I FORGETTING?
Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. And wenoted, just how
MYLEE’S ONE SECOND EVERYDAY VIDEO There's this amazing app, that can record one second of everyday of your life or an event. Here's our video that sadly covers all of our wonderful Mylee's life. It can be painful to watch because how can this wonderful life be captured in such a short video, and the endjust comes out of
PHOTOS OF MYLEE
Visit the post for more. DREAMS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW She came to me in my dream last night. In the grief community, it's a common question/desire: to be visited by your Angel baby. In my dream, we weren't at our current home, but it was a home. HEART ACHE – PAGE 2 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Posts about heart ache written by jaymelee1. I've never been a real big fan of holidays. A combination of the extreme ways I am an introvert, childhood memories, and social anxiety never made me a goodfit for them.
SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. ABOUT – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW This blog is dedicated in loving memory of our daughter, Mylee Frances Snowden. She was only earth side with us for a far too short nine and a half months. Those months were filled with immeasurable joy, constant learning and laughing, and happiness that is beyond MAY 2021 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW 1 post published by jaymelee1 during May 2021. Mother’s Day can be a bitch of a day. Even before I ever thought about having children of my own, like most holidays for me, Mother’s Day was a complicated one.DAYS TO REMEMBER
Tomorrow marks one month since an acquaintance’s son passed away. I try really hard to remember these dates for others, and in thinking of what to say to her tomorrow, it got me thinking. I want to say, this is the first, of many. This first one is the hardest. The 12th oneisn’t far
THE MORE THINGS CHANGE As this year comes to a close, there's a lot of reflecting. I still am not ready for holidays. I see other loss mothers/families, esp ones without living children, and I just have no idea how they do it. How do they put up a tree? How do they celebrate? I wish I could. IAM I FORGETTING?
Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. And wenoted, just how
MYLEE’S ONE SECOND EVERYDAY VIDEO There's this amazing app, that can record one second of everyday of your life or an event. Here's our video that sadly covers all of our wonderful Mylee's life. It can be painful to watch because how can this wonderful life be captured in such a short video, and the endjust comes out of
PHOTOS OF MYLEE
Visit the post for more. DREAMS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW She came to me in my dream last night. In the grief community, it's a common question/desire: to be visited by your Angel baby. In my dream, we weren't at our current home, but it was a home. HEART ACHE – PAGE 2 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Posts about heart ache written by jaymelee1. I've never been a real big fan of holidays. A combination of the extreme ways I am an introvert, childhood memories, and social anxiety never made me a goodfit for them.
WEEKLY – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW I made it a week. One week of knowing I'm pregnant and surviving. One week of no Xanax or drinking. One week of nausea and exhaustion and insomnia and anxiety. One week of happiness and fear. One week of accepting what will be, will be. I don't know if it's a lack of hope,but
MYLEE’S ONE SECOND EVERYDAY VIDEO There's this amazing app, that can record one second of everyday of your life or an event. Here's our video that sadly covers all of our wonderful Mylee's life. It can be painful to watch because how can this wonderful life be captured in such a short video, and the endjust comes out of
AM I FORGETTING?
Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. And wenoted, just how
WE ARE THESE PEOPLE
Sometimes I have to remind myself that this is me, that this is my life. Because it doesn’t seem real. I have a daughter. And she died. And now I have son. And I spend most of my time simply hoping that he doesn’t die. It sounds like a movie. Or a family you hear JAYMELEE1 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Mama of four angel babies, disaster worker by day and woman trying to find a new normal by night. I love laughing, yoga, kindness, honesty, the packers, manu, usc, and community involvement. TRADING IN – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Today we turned my car back into the dealership. The lease is up in two months, and we're over mileage, Notorious's (my car's name) time was up. And last month I got a new lease that ended up saving us a bunch of money. So it was time. But I still found myself hugging theINFANT LOSS
Last weekend one of the most amazing, down to earth, giving, understanding and loving people on this planet visited me. Sarah is a friend from Milwaukee, younger sister to my best friend, who is so unique that the space she carves in your heart is undefinable and unable to be filled by anyone else. GRIEVING – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Posts about Grieving written by jaymelee1. Mylee was alive for 288 days. Simply amazing how much can happen, the impact her being had on my life and the lives of others in that short 288 days. TRIGGERS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Some triggers come expectedly. Like on the one month mark from Mylee's death or when I drive by her day care on a regular basis. Some triggers come unexpectedly. Like when I received a catalog with first birthday party ideas and party favors. And then there's some that HEART ACHE – PAGE 2 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Posts about heart ache written by jaymelee1. I've never been a real big fan of holidays. A combination of the extreme ways I am an introvert, childhood memories, and social anxiety never made me a goodfit for them.
SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW October 18th was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. A lot of things that were "supposed to be" in my life, aren't. The most magical and special thing happened on October 18th. I personally experienced my body grow, change, and complete the extremely complicated process of growing and birthing an entire person. . ABOUT – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW About. This blog is dedicated in loving memory of our daughter, Mylee Frances Snowden. She was only earth side with us for a far too short nine and a half months. Those months were filled with immeasurable joy, constant learning and laughing, and happiness that is beyond words. She was taken from us for unknown reasons (at this time)suddenly
MAY 2021 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW 1 post published by jaymelee1 during May 2021. Mother’s Day can be a bitch of a day. Even before I ever thought about having children of my own, like most holidays for me, Mother’s Day was a complicated one.DAYS TO REMEMBER
Tomorrow marks one month since an acquaintance’s son passed away. I try really hard to remember these dates for others, and in thinking of what to say to her tomorrow, it got me thinking. I want to say, this is the first, of many. This first one is the hardest. The 12th oneisn’t far
THE MORE THINGS CHANGE As this year comes to a close, there's a lot of reflecting. I still am not ready for holidays. I see other loss mothers/families, esp ones without living children, and I just have no idea how they do it. How do they put up a tree? How do they celebrate? I wish I could. IPHOTOS OF MYLEE
Somewhere Over My Rainbow. Chronicling life before and after the loss of Mylee Frances. Menu. Home. About. Contact. Rainbow Dream Part 1. Mylee’s One Second Everyday Video. Photos of Mylee.AM I FORGETTING?
Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. And wenoted, just how
MYLEE’S ONE SECOND EVERYDAY VIDEO There's this amazing app, that can record one second of everyday of your life or an event. Here's our video that sadly covers all of our wonderful Mylee's life. It can be painful to watch because how can this wonderful life be captured in such a short video, and the endjust comes out of
DREAMS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW She came to me in my dream last night. In the grief community, it's a common question/desire: to be visited by your Angel baby. In my dream, we weren't at our current home, but it was a home. HEART ACHE – PAGE 2 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Posts about heart ache written by jaymelee1. I've never been a real big fan of holidays. A combination of the extreme ways I am an introvert, childhood memories, and social anxiety never made me a goodfit for them.
SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW October 18th was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. A lot of things that were "supposed to be" in my life, aren't. The most magical and special thing happened on October 18th. I personally experienced my body grow, change, and complete the extremely complicated process of growing and birthing an entire person. . ABOUT – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW About. This blog is dedicated in loving memory of our daughter, Mylee Frances Snowden. She was only earth side with us for a far too short nine and a half months. Those months were filled with immeasurable joy, constant learning and laughing, and happiness that is beyond words. She was taken from us for unknown reasons (at this time)suddenly
MAY 2021 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW 1 post published by jaymelee1 during May 2021. Mother’s Day can be a bitch of a day. Even before I ever thought about having children of my own, like most holidays for me, Mother’s Day was a complicated one.DAYS TO REMEMBER
Tomorrow marks one month since an acquaintance’s son passed away. I try really hard to remember these dates for others, and in thinking of what to say to her tomorrow, it got me thinking. I want to say, this is the first, of many. This first one is the hardest. The 12th oneisn’t far
THE MORE THINGS CHANGE As this year comes to a close, there's a lot of reflecting. I still am not ready for holidays. I see other loss mothers/families, esp ones without living children, and I just have no idea how they do it. How do they put up a tree? How do they celebrate? I wish I could. IPHOTOS OF MYLEE
Somewhere Over My Rainbow. Chronicling life before and after the loss of Mylee Frances. Menu. Home. About. Contact. Rainbow Dream Part 1. Mylee’s One Second Everyday Video. Photos of Mylee.AM I FORGETTING?
Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. And wenoted, just how
MYLEE’S ONE SECOND EVERYDAY VIDEO There's this amazing app, that can record one second of everyday of your life or an event. Here's our video that sadly covers all of our wonderful Mylee's life. It can be painful to watch because how can this wonderful life be captured in such a short video, and the endjust comes out of
DREAMS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW She came to me in my dream last night. In the grief community, it's a common question/desire: to be visited by your Angel baby. In my dream, we weren't at our current home, but it was a home. HEART ACHE – PAGE 2 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Posts about heart ache written by jaymelee1. I've never been a real big fan of holidays. A combination of the extreme ways I am an introvert, childhood memories, and social anxiety never made me a goodfit for them.
MYLEE’S BIRTH STORY I feel like I keep saying this: this last week has been hard. It somehow seems to get harder every day. I know at some point it will stop feeling harder. At the sad, sad time when this becomes somehow more normal. Shannon just stopped by. She had one of the final taskson our
BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS
Birthday thoughts. After you lose a child, everything is harder. Nearly every thing I see people doing or celebrating or discussing their lives; it seems to come so easy to them. Life, being able to plan for small get togethers, daily meals, family vacations, is so regular and a given for nearly everyone else I know. And it’s notfor me.
A MINUTE OF SILENCE
So many people have asked me, "How did this week go?" I tell them ok. I went to work four of the five days. I worked half days each day I was there. I cried when looking at the conference room and made us move a meeting; I sat on the floor of my cube TIME – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW I don't have enough words to explain everything that Brian and I are currently going through. Life is moving on, life keeps going. We're both working hard. Me, with fires and flooding and whole counties without water. Brian with the house and helping his brother andworking on
ABCS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW I got my medication leveled out, I think. Less shaking, less craziness. See doctor on Wednesday, so we'll see how it goes. Everything is just so emotionally draining. And like I said last week, everything is a first. Everything is a challenge. Everything is way more complicated that I AFTAB – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Disclaimers: I'm about to get political. I realize not everyone is going to agree with some of the political statements I may make. Please do not use my daughter's blog to argue stances, please read our experience and try to simply understand why it is important to me and such an integral part of MyleeTODAY, TODAY
I am exhausted. Perhaps it's because I was awake, just wide awake, until 4:00 am and then I woke up promptly at 8:00. Perhaps it's because my medicine is all out of whack and my brain feels fried. Perhaps it's because all it's done is rain lately. Perhaps it's because I'm grieving. Perhaps it's becauseONE DAY AT A TIME
The parts of the day where they talked about work or when I thought about how much I wanted to watch a game with mylee made me want to never stop drinking and crawl into a hole. But this is my life now. Moments of forgetting how incredibly cruel my life is and temporary moments of relief surrounded by feelings on darkness creeping in. LIVING IN YOUR LETTERS Living in your Letters. I’ve given out my home address so much recently. Friends locally who didn’t have my mailing address previously to people from my online circles that didn’t have it at all. So many people have reached out to send us stuff. So when I came home today to a package in a bright pink mailer, I honestly had noidea who it
HAPPY BABY – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW 1 Minute. On Thursday, a co-worker/friend shared a recent dream she had with me. We were alone in the room and she asked if she could share a dream she had. She said she had it a while ago but she wasn’t sure if she should share and it’s been on her mind a lot.She has a
SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW October 18th was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. A lot of things that were "supposed to be" in my life, aren't. The most magical and special thing happened on October 18th. I personally experienced my body grow, change, and complete the extremely complicated process of growing and birthing an entire person. . ABOUT – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW About. This blog is dedicated in loving memory of our daughter, Mylee Frances Snowden. She was only earth side with us for a far too short nine and a half months. Those months were filled with immeasurable joy, constant learning and laughing, and happiness that is beyond words. She was taken from us for unknown reasons (at this time)suddenly
MAY 2021 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW 1 post published by jaymelee1 during May 2021. Mother’s Day can be a bitch of a day. Even before I ever thought about having children of my own, like most holidays for me, Mother’s Day was a complicated one.DAYS TO REMEMBER
Tomorrow marks one month since an acquaintance’s son passed away. I try really hard to remember these dates for others, and in thinking of what to say to her tomorrow, it got me thinking. I want to say, this is the first, of many. This first one is the hardest. The 12th oneisn’t far
THE MORE THINGS CHANGE As this year comes to a close, there's a lot of reflecting. I still am not ready for holidays. I see other loss mothers/families, esp ones without living children, and I just have no idea how they do it. How do they put up a tree? How do they celebrate? I wish I could. IPHOTOS OF MYLEE
Somewhere Over My Rainbow. Chronicling life before and after the loss of Mylee Frances. Menu. Home. About. Contact. Rainbow Dream Part 1. Mylee’s One Second Everyday Video. Photos of Mylee.AM I FORGETTING?
Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. And wenoted, just how
MYLEE’S ONE SECOND EVERYDAY VIDEO There's this amazing app, that can record one second of everyday of your life or an event. Here's our video that sadly covers all of our wonderful Mylee's life. It can be painful to watch because how can this wonderful life be captured in such a short video, and the endjust comes out of
DREAMS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW She came to me in my dream last night. In the grief community, it's a common question/desire: to be visited by your Angel baby. In my dream, we weren't at our current home, but it was a home. HEART ACHE – PAGE 2 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Posts about heart ache written by jaymelee1. I've never been a real big fan of holidays. A combination of the extreme ways I am an introvert, childhood memories, and social anxiety never made me a goodfit for them.
SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW October 18th was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. A lot of things that were "supposed to be" in my life, aren't. The most magical and special thing happened on October 18th. I personally experienced my body grow, change, and complete the extremely complicated process of growing and birthing an entire person. . ABOUT – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW About. This blog is dedicated in loving memory of our daughter, Mylee Frances Snowden. She was only earth side with us for a far too short nine and a half months. Those months were filled with immeasurable joy, constant learning and laughing, and happiness that is beyond words. She was taken from us for unknown reasons (at this time)suddenly
MAY 2021 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW 1 post published by jaymelee1 during May 2021. Mother’s Day can be a bitch of a day. Even before I ever thought about having children of my own, like most holidays for me, Mother’s Day was a complicated one.DAYS TO REMEMBER
Tomorrow marks one month since an acquaintance’s son passed away. I try really hard to remember these dates for others, and in thinking of what to say to her tomorrow, it got me thinking. I want to say, this is the first, of many. This first one is the hardest. The 12th oneisn’t far
THE MORE THINGS CHANGE As this year comes to a close, there's a lot of reflecting. I still am not ready for holidays. I see other loss mothers/families, esp ones without living children, and I just have no idea how they do it. How do they put up a tree? How do they celebrate? I wish I could. IPHOTOS OF MYLEE
Somewhere Over My Rainbow. Chronicling life before and after the loss of Mylee Frances. Menu. Home. About. Contact. Rainbow Dream Part 1. Mylee’s One Second Everyday Video. Photos of Mylee.AM I FORGETTING?
Today we were talking about the differences between Will and Mylee. Mylee learned so much at day care, whereas we’re teaching Will. We recently started Baby Led Weaning with Will and I mentioned how he has to work on his fine motor skills so he can get better at it. And wenoted, just how
MYLEE’S ONE SECOND EVERYDAY VIDEO There's this amazing app, that can record one second of everyday of your life or an event. Here's our video that sadly covers all of our wonderful Mylee's life. It can be painful to watch because how can this wonderful life be captured in such a short video, and the endjust comes out of
DREAMS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW She came to me in my dream last night. In the grief community, it's a common question/desire: to be visited by your Angel baby. In my dream, we weren't at our current home, but it was a home. HEART ACHE – PAGE 2 – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Posts about heart ache written by jaymelee1. I've never been a real big fan of holidays. A combination of the extreme ways I am an introvert, childhood memories, and social anxiety never made me a goodfit for them.
BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS
Birthday thoughts. After you lose a child, everything is harder. Nearly every thing I see people doing or celebrating or discussing their lives; it seems to come so easy to them. Life, being able to plan for small get togethers, daily meals, family vacations, is so regular and a given for nearly everyone else I know. And it’s notfor me.
MYLEE’S BIRTH STORY I feel like I keep saying this: this last week has been hard. It somehow seems to get harder every day. I know at some point it will stop feeling harder. At the sad, sad time when this becomes somehow more normal. Shannon just stopped by. She had one of the final taskson our
A MINUTE OF SILENCE
So many people have asked me, "How did this week go?" I tell them ok. I went to work four of the five days. I worked half days each day I was there. I cried when looking at the conference room and made us move a meeting; I sat on the floor of my cube AFTAB – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Disclaimers: I'm about to get political. I realize not everyone is going to agree with some of the political statements I may make. Please do not use my daughter's blog to argue stances, please read our experience and try to simply understand why it is important to me and such an integral part of Mylee TIME – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW I don't have enough words to explain everything that Brian and I are currently going through. Life is moving on, life keeps going. We're both working hard. Me, with fires and flooding and whole counties without water. Brian with the house and helping his brother andworking on
ONE DAY AT A TIME
The parts of the day where they talked about work or when I thought about how much I wanted to watch a game with mylee made me want to never stop drinking and crawl into a hole. But this is my life now. Moments of forgetting how incredibly cruel my life is and temporary moments of relief surrounded by feelings on darkness creeping in.TODAY, TODAY
I am exhausted. Perhaps it's because I was awake, just wide awake, until 4:00 am and then I woke up promptly at 8:00. Perhaps it's because my medicine is all out of whack and my brain feels fried. Perhaps it's because all it's done is rain lately. Perhaps it's because I'm grieving. Perhaps it's because ABCS – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW I got my medication leveled out, I think. Less shaking, less craziness. See doctor on Wednesday, so we'll see how it goes. Everything is just so emotionally draining. And like I said last week, everything is a first. Everything is a challenge. Everything is way more complicated that I LIVING IN YOUR LETTERS Living in your Letters. I’ve given out my home address so much recently. Friends locally who didn’t have my mailing address previously to people from my online circles that didn’t have it at all. So many people have reached out to send us stuff. So when I came home today to a package in a bright pink mailer, I honestly had noidea who it
HAPPY BABY – SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW 1 Minute. On Thursday, a co-worker/friend shared a recent dream she had with me. We were alone in the room and she asked if she could share a dream she had. She said she had it a while ago but she wasn’t sure if she should share and it’s been on her mind a lot.She has a
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SOMEWHERE OVER MY RAINBOW Chronicling life before and after the loss of Mylee FrancesMenu
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ORDINARY
Every day this week cuts like a shard of glass. But all for different reasons. A year ago, it was just an average Monday. It was unremarkable. I went to work. Brian played soccer. But what I remember the clearest, was my thought as Mylee and I were lying in bed together and she drifted … Continue reading Ordinary →Advertisements
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jaymelee1
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July 30, 2019
1 Minute
SEARED WITH SCARS
One year ago, we took Mylee to a local church festival. We had a blast. Until we didn't. Until I drank too much. The next day Mylee would gift me with a four hour midday nap, a true sign she was a mama's girl, and we'd wake up and take the smiling selfie that is … Continue reading Seared with Scars →jaymelee1
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July 27, 2019
3
Minutes
BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS
After you lose a child, everything is harder. Nearly every thing I see people doing or celebrating or discussing their lives; it seems to come so easy to them. Life, being able to plan for small get togethers, daily meals, family vacations, is so regular and a given for nearly everyone else I know. And … Continue reading Birthdaythoughts →
jaymelee1
infant loss 2
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July 9, 2019July 9, 20191
Minute
288
Mylee was alive for 288 days. Simply amazing how much can happen, the impact her being had on my life and the lives of others in that short 288 days. Mylee's been gone for 290 days. We've officially entered an area where I have spent more time grieving her than kissing her face. It will … Continue reading 288 →jaymelee1
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May 19,
2019 1 Minute
SHINE ON
Last weekend one of the most amazing, down to earth, giving, understanding and loving people on this planet visited me. Sarah is a friend from Milwaukee, younger sister to my best friend, who is so unique that the space she carves in your heart is undefinable and unable to be filled by anyone else. Sarah … Continue reading Shineon →
jaymelee1
infant loss
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April 24, 2019April 24, 20194 Minutes
I TRIED
My depression has been pretty intense lately. Between juggling doctor's appointments, not getting a job I wanted, trying to figure out our future, and the all consuming longing for Mylee, my mind has been struggling. But I'm trying. Annoyed at my weight gain, I started working out again at home. Like I used to after … Continue reading Itried →
jaymelee1
infant loss 1
Comment
April 13, 2019
1 Minute
DAYS LIKE THESE, MAMA SAID I don't know where or how to start this. Yesterday marked 8 months since we said goodbye to our Mylee. Last night, Brian and I were lying down together, with my head on his chest, and I could hear his heart beating. And I started sobbing. My body somehow knew. I looked at my phone. … Continue reading Days Like These, Mama Said →jaymelee1
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April 3, 2019April 3, 20199 Minutes
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