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OUT OF THE FOG
News. Welcome to Out of the FOG! Stop by the Welcome Mat to introduce yourself. *** We appear to have resolved the posting issues for new and junior members. Please let us know asap if you have any furtherproblems!
OUT OF THE FOG
Barriers to Effective Treatment. Recovery for a personality-disordered individual is not typically an easy road. First and foremost, it requires a strong, stable and sincere commitment from the person seeking recovery - an acknowledgement of the need for change, a willingness to take on the challenges and a determination to see itthrough.
OUT OF THE FOG
Out of the FOG - Resources. Out of the FOG was created by people who have experienced the turmoil and confusion of being in a relationship with a partner or family member who has a Personality Disorder.OUT OF THE FOG
Thanks all the members who have financially supported Out of the FOG. All proceeds are used to offset the costs of running and publicizing the site. There are several ways to contribute: One-Time Credit Card Donations can be made via Paypal by clicking on the "Donate" button here. Your Credit Card statement will show a payment to "Out of theFOG".
THE PETULANT BORDERLINE Petulant borderline. This is a passive-aggressive person. He or she will injure himself or herself–either physically or emotionally–in an attempt to get needs met. This person has an unstable sense of self, a frantic fear of abandonment, and inability to express his orher needs.
ANTICIPATING MY EVERY MOVE anticipating my every move. « on: May 13, 2021, 11:43:03 AM ». I am pretty sure I have spoken of this before A level of control that really frustrates me is anticipating my every move and thinking for me. If my dog is sitting on a chair, she is "waiting for me to give her attention." If I get up to make myself coffee, "do you needsweetner
1 MONTH IN PURGATORY 1 month in purgatory. « on: April 19, 2021, 03:22:28 PM ». I’m struggling today. It’s been 1 month since my upd bf and I have last spoken. We are in this limbo state because neither of us has officially said the words, “it’s over.”. So why haven’t I completely pulled the plug? SUSPECTED PD KEPT ALL THEIR CHILD'S BILLS Suspected PD kept all their child's bills. So I searched for this, tried multiple keywords and phrasing, and google came up empty. Returned completely unrelated subjects to me. Recently, because we are preparing for a move, I went through all our old paperwork, including folders from DH's parents that were labeled medical records. CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE NARC KIND For a brief period of time I was roommates with a friend who had a mother like this. Woman would come over and do "inspection" and would always find something to criticize, usually more than a few somethings--and would do it with a smile, as if she was just beinghelpful.
BPD, NO CONTACT AND IN LAWS WITH PD BPD, No contact and in laws with PD - help. I've tried to make things work with H, but it got to point where my safety was an issue and I had to leave unplanned from the house I own. I've been told I can't go back and to only go when I have someone with me. Problem is the advice and help he is getting is coming from his family, all of them someOUT OF THE FOG
News. Welcome to Out of the FOG! Stop by the Welcome Mat to introduce yourself. *** We appear to have resolved the posting issues for new and junior members. Please let us know asap if you have any furtherproblems!
OUT OF THE FOG
Barriers to Effective Treatment. Recovery for a personality-disordered individual is not typically an easy road. First and foremost, it requires a strong, stable and sincere commitment from the person seeking recovery - an acknowledgement of the need for change, a willingness to take on the challenges and a determination to see itthrough.
OUT OF THE FOG
Out of the FOG - Resources. Out of the FOG was created by people who have experienced the turmoil and confusion of being in a relationship with a partner or family member who has a Personality Disorder.OUT OF THE FOG
Thanks all the members who have financially supported Out of the FOG. All proceeds are used to offset the costs of running and publicizing the site. There are several ways to contribute: One-Time Credit Card Donations can be made via Paypal by clicking on the "Donate" button here. Your Credit Card statement will show a payment to "Out of theFOG".
THE PETULANT BORDERLINE Petulant borderline. This is a passive-aggressive person. He or she will injure himself or herself–either physically or emotionally–in an attempt to get needs met. This person has an unstable sense of self, a frantic fear of abandonment, and inability to express his orher needs.
ANTICIPATING MY EVERY MOVE anticipating my every move. « on: May 13, 2021, 11:43:03 AM ». I am pretty sure I have spoken of this before A level of control that really frustrates me is anticipating my every move and thinking for me. If my dog is sitting on a chair, she is "waiting for me to give her attention." If I get up to make myself coffee, "do you needsweetner
1 MONTH IN PURGATORY 1 month in purgatory. « on: April 19, 2021, 03:22:28 PM ». I’m struggling today. It’s been 1 month since my upd bf and I have last spoken. We are in this limbo state because neither of us has officially said the words, “it’s over.”. So why haven’t I completely pulled the plug? SUSPECTED PD KEPT ALL THEIR CHILD'S BILLS Suspected PD kept all their child's bills. So I searched for this, tried multiple keywords and phrasing, and google came up empty. Returned completely unrelated subjects to me. Recently, because we are preparing for a move, I went through all our old paperwork, including folders from DH's parents that were labeled medical records. CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE NARC KIND For a brief period of time I was roommates with a friend who had a mother like this. Woman would come over and do "inspection" and would always find something to criticize, usually more than a few somethings--and would do it with a smile, as if she was just beinghelpful.
BPD, NO CONTACT AND IN LAWS WITH PD BPD, No contact and in laws with PD - help. I've tried to make things work with H, but it got to point where my safety was an issue and I had to leave unplanned from the house I own. I've been told I can't go back and to only go when I have someone with me. Problem is the advice and help he is getting is coming from his family, all of them some ANTICIPATING MY EVERY MOVE anticipating my every move. « on: May 13, 2021, 11:43:03 AM ». I am pretty sure I have spoken of this before A level of control that really frustrates me is anticipating my every move and thinking for me. If my dog is sitting on a chair, she is "waiting for me to give her attention." If I get up to make myself coffee, "do you needsweetner
SURGERY IS OVER, BUT RECOVERY IS BEGINNING Surgery is over, but recovery is beginning. « on: April 24, 2021, 05:27:48 PM ». So grandma had surgery, surgeon said everything went well. But, and this was discussed with her previously, she has to walk so many minutes every hour and do her PT at home exercises. Is THE MASK SLIPPED IN SPECTACULAR FASHION The Mask Slipped in Spectacular Fashion. « on: May 08, 2021, 05:14:51 PM ». So I've known my MIL had a PD since basically I met her. I know you get it, that once you know what a PD looks like it becomes glaringly obvious in the behaviors of others. I have very little to do with her (thank God) and she's never done or said a thing to me, butCOVERT NARCISSISTS
I have a few observations about covert narcissists. I’ve just realized that the ones in my life all seem to behave similar to each other. They all won’t initiate conversation or further conversation unless they are asked specific questions that don’t involve a yes orno answer.
ANY WEIRD THINGS THAT YOUR PD SPOUSE HAS ASKED YOU TO DO 86. Any Weird Things that your PD spouse has asked you to do ? « on: May 21, 2021, 01:42:46 AM ». Today, my unpdw asked me to cut down a few large trunks from the neighbor's hedge as they are preventing the hedge to look nice on the side facing our yard. I told her that, you can't just cut down a neighbor's hedge especially the trunks she STATED CLEARLY I WANTED TO DIVORCE Stated Clearly I wanted to divorce. « on: May 09, 2021, 09:28:15 PM . I just saw my unPDstbxH. He wanted to get together again (I saw him Thursday at his request) to "tie up some loose ends". He's still expressing wanting to get back together We filed for divorce in Dec. I moved out March 1. We've been in mediation since December. AM I THE NARCISSIST? We read Stop Walking On Eggshells, and my wife was all like, "oh crap! I am a borderline!" This is a common feeling of confusion, sometimes reflecting fleas, sometimes induced by gaslighting and complaints, other times just reflecting the dissonance of telling someone else they need to pay more attention to you because they are paying too much attention to themselves (that is, we can easily WAS THIS SERIOUS? OR AM I EXAGGERATING? Blueberry Pancakes. Re: Was this serious? Or am I exaggerating? Personally I do not believe you are exaggerating. If your brother said something to you and your first instinct about it was to feel like it was a bit "off" or not quite right, then I would trust what your initial response was. CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE NARC KIND For a brief period of time I was roommates with a friend who had a mother like this. Woman would come over and do "inspection" and would always find something to criticize, usually more than a few somethings--and would do it with a smile, as if she was just beinghelpful.
(TRIGGER ALERT PORN) EXPERIENCE REQUESTED Thank you for the responses, advice and support - you have helped me so much! This journey over the past 3 years coming OOTF has been mind blowing - raised by a narc mother, all these beliefs and treatments were so normalized to me.OUT OF THE FOG
News. Welcome to Out of the FOG! Stop by the Welcome Mat to introduce yourself. *** We appear to have resolved the posting issues for new and junior members. Please let us know asap if you have any furtherproblems!
OUT OF THE FOG
Barriers to Effective Treatment. Recovery for a personality-disordered individual is not typically an easy road. First and foremost, it requires a strong, stable and sincere commitment from the person seeking recovery - an acknowledgement of the need for change, a willingness to take on the challenges and a determination to see itthrough.
OUT OF THE FOG
Out of the FOG - Resources. Out of the FOG was created by people who have experienced the turmoil and confusion of being in a relationship with a partner or family member who has a Personality Disorder.OUT OF THE FOG
Thanks all the members who have financially supported Out of the FOG. All proceeds are used to offset the costs of running and publicizing the site. There are several ways to contribute: One-Time Credit Card Donations can be made via Paypal by clicking on the "Donate" button here. Your Credit Card statement will show a payment to "Out of theFOG".
SET SEARCH PARAMETERS Listen to the letters / Request another image. Type the letters shown in the picture: What color is the banner at the top of this page?: Three plus four is (Type the word, not the number): How many months are in a year? (Type the numeric answer): Type the four middle letters of "jazzpant" in the box:THE COLLECTOR
Hi square, Yes, he needs supply particularly from those he deems as inferior, which is most people. I believe he holds contempt for all but a very few such as those in very high positions (corporate men).SHIFTING ROLES
Yup, i was the "golden child " too growing up until my sister left and i became the "bad child/scapegoat" . Narcissistic families "split" their children into simplistic black and white roles, which can become interchangeable, depending on circumstances. THE PETULANT BORDERLINE Petulant borderline. This is a passive-aggressive person. He or she will injure himself or herself–either physically or emotionally–in an attempt to get needs met. This person has an unstable sense of self, a frantic fear of abandonment, and inability to express his orher needs.
YARD WORK WITH OCPDH I could swear you are describing every weekend doing chores around the house with my OCPDxh. Endless hours of work that could have gone faster if not done exactly his way. MY MOTHER SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF ME. It sounds to me like you can't live with her. I really would look into finding another place to live, pronto. A friend, a relative, anywhere..I know how it can affect you personally but it sounds like you really need a break and are struggling with getting away from her.OUT OF THE FOG
News. Welcome to Out of the FOG! Stop by the Welcome Mat to introduce yourself. *** We appear to have resolved the posting issues for new and junior members. Please let us know asap if you have any furtherproblems!
OUT OF THE FOG
Barriers to Effective Treatment. Recovery for a personality-disordered individual is not typically an easy road. First and foremost, it requires a strong, stable and sincere commitment from the person seeking recovery - an acknowledgement of the need for change, a willingness to take on the challenges and a determination to see itthrough.
OUT OF THE FOG
Out of the FOG - Resources. Out of the FOG was created by people who have experienced the turmoil and confusion of being in a relationship with a partner or family member who has a Personality Disorder.OUT OF THE FOG
Thanks all the members who have financially supported Out of the FOG. All proceeds are used to offset the costs of running and publicizing the site. There are several ways to contribute: One-Time Credit Card Donations can be made via Paypal by clicking on the "Donate" button here. Your Credit Card statement will show a payment to "Out of theFOG".
SET SEARCH PARAMETERS Listen to the letters / Request another image. Type the letters shown in the picture: What color is the banner at the top of this page?: Three plus four is (Type the word, not the number): How many months are in a year? (Type the numeric answer): Type the four middle letters of "jazzpant" in the box:THE COLLECTOR
Hi square, Yes, he needs supply particularly from those he deems as inferior, which is most people. I believe he holds contempt for all but a very few such as those in very high positions (corporate men).SHIFTING ROLES
Yup, i was the "golden child " too growing up until my sister left and i became the "bad child/scapegoat" . Narcissistic families "split" their children into simplistic black and white roles, which can become interchangeable, depending on circumstances. THE PETULANT BORDERLINE Petulant borderline. This is a passive-aggressive person. He or she will injure himself or herself–either physically or emotionally–in an attempt to get needs met. This person has an unstable sense of self, a frantic fear of abandonment, and inability to express his orher needs.
YARD WORK WITH OCPDH I could swear you are describing every weekend doing chores around the house with my OCPDxh. Endless hours of work that could have gone faster if not done exactly his way. MY MOTHER SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF ME. It sounds to me like you can't live with her. I really would look into finding another place to live, pronto. A friend, a relative, anywhere..I know how it can affect you personally but it sounds like you really need a break and are struggling with getting away from her. SET SEARCH PARAMETERS Listen to the letters / Request another image. Type the letters shown in the picture: What color is the banner at the top of this page?: Three plus four is (Type the word, not the number): How many months are in a year? (Type the numeric answer): Type the four middle letters of "jazzpant" in the box: FEELING VERY NERVOUS Two of my sisters are coming here to visit us. I am very happy and excited about this! Thing is, we're going to be alone, H has to work and I'm going to take the afternoon off, and I know that this is the opportunity I have to tell them at least some of my story.THE COLLECTOR
Hi square, Yes, he needs supply particularly from those he deems as inferior, which is most people. I believe he holds contempt for all but a very few such as those in very high positions (corporate men). ANY WEIRD THINGS THAT YOUR PD SPOUSE HAS ASKED YOU TO DO 86. Any Weird Things that your PD spouse has asked you to do ? « on: May 21, 2021, 01:42:46 AM ». Today, my unpdw asked me to cut down a few large trunks from the neighbor's hedge as they are preventing the hedge to look nice on the side facing our yard. I told her that, you can't just cut down a neighbor's hedge especially the trunks she IS YOUR FAMILY MEMBER..... Yes, although my mom will sometimes go on and on about how busy she is and everything she is doing and how everyone just loves her. To hear her tell it, she practically runs all the activities at the seniorliving center.
DISCARD PHASE
Hi I was wondering if anyone could tell me if this is the discard phase. Late last year into the beginning of this year I took some time out and now I only text my mother on some holidays and birthdays andthat's it.
BREAKING POINT
I have really reached breaking point, when you don't think she can go lower she does. Yesterday she shouted at me, told me I make her life miserable, told me to pack my bag, to get out of her country, call the estate agent and that she want a divorce. YARD WORK WITH OCPDH I could swear you are describing every weekend doing chores around the house with my OCPDxh. Endless hours of work that could have gone faster if not done exactly his way. INDUCED CONVERSATION I'll try to answer this best I can and understand, 11, because information on it is kind of vague (at least to me) and doesn't define it so much as show how it comes about, i.e., engaging in a conversation with a NPD isn't a normal conversation but rather one controlled by the narc.EX MIL GAMES
EX MIL Games. 15 years ago my ex MIL sent my daughter a classified ad for a job trying to lure my daughter to move down by her. My daughter got the job, too good to turn down, so I gave my daughter the okay to take it. My ex MIL has had my daughter for 15 years. Ex MIL always acted like my daughter was her daughter and I was just an extra onOUT OF THE FOG
News. Welcome to Out of the FOG! Stop by the Welcome Mat to introduce yourself. *** We appear to have resolved the posting issues for new and junior members. Please let us know asap if you have any furtherproblems!
OUT OF THE FOG
Barriers to Effective Treatment. Recovery for a personality-disordered individual is not typically an easy road. First and foremost, it requires a strong, stable and sincere commitment from the person seeking recovery - an acknowledgement of the need for change, a willingness to take on the challenges and a determination to see itthrough.
OUT OF THE FOG
Out of the FOG - Resources. Out of the FOG was created by people who have experienced the turmoil and confusion of being in a relationship with a partner or family member who has a Personality Disorder.OUT OF THE FOG
Thanks all the members who have financially supported Out of the FOG. All proceeds are used to offset the costs of running and publicizing the site. There are several ways to contribute: One-Time Credit Card Donations can be made via Paypal by clicking on the "Donate" button here. Your Credit Card statement will show a payment to "Out of theFOG".
FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, ACQUAINTANCES AND COWORKERS Normal Topic Hot Topic (More than 15 replies) Very Hot Topic (More than 25 replies) Locked Topic Sticky Topic Poll ANTICIPATING MY EVERY MOVE anticipating my every move. « on: May 13, 2021, 11:43:03 AM ». I am pretty sure I have spoken of this before A level of control that really frustrates me is anticipating my every move and thinking for me. If my dog is sitting on a chair, she is "waiting for me to give her attention." If I get up to make myself coffee, "do you needsweetner
THE PETULANT BORDERLINE Petulant borderline. This is a passive-aggressive person. He or she will injure himself or herself–either physically or emotionally–in an attempt to get needs met. This person has an unstable sense of self, a frantic fear of abandonment, and inability to express his orher needs.
WHY - OUTOFTHEFOG.NET My ex refused to accept that we were divorcing. He thought we’d get divorced and then remarry. He said it would be a clean slate. He wants you to give him a reason so that he can convince you that you arewrong.
BREAKING POINT
I have really reached breaking point, when you don't think she can go lower she does. Yesterday she shouted at me, told me I make her life miserable, told me to pack my bag, to get out of her country, call the estate agent and that she want a divorce. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH PD PETTY BEHAVIOUR? If PDmom is angry at you and can withhold something, she will absolutely delight in the pettiness of doing so. She got mad once when a distant cousin commented that my grandmother didn't like cousin's father. It was the truth, but PDmom decided her cousin was "throwing shade." A few weeks later, this cousin called to tell my mom she wasgoing
OUT OF THE FOG
News. Welcome to Out of the FOG! Stop by the Welcome Mat to introduce yourself. *** We appear to have resolved the posting issues for new and junior members. Please let us know asap if you have any furtherproblems!
OUT OF THE FOG
Barriers to Effective Treatment. Recovery for a personality-disordered individual is not typically an easy road. First and foremost, it requires a strong, stable and sincere commitment from the person seeking recovery - an acknowledgement of the need for change, a willingness to take on the challenges and a determination to see itthrough.
OUT OF THE FOG
Out of the FOG - Resources. Out of the FOG was created by people who have experienced the turmoil and confusion of being in a relationship with a partner or family member who has a Personality Disorder.OUT OF THE FOG
Thanks all the members who have financially supported Out of the FOG. All proceeds are used to offset the costs of running and publicizing the site. There are several ways to contribute: One-Time Credit Card Donations can be made via Paypal by clicking on the "Donate" button here. Your Credit Card statement will show a payment to "Out of theFOG".
FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, ACQUAINTANCES AND COWORKERS Normal Topic Hot Topic (More than 15 replies) Very Hot Topic (More than 25 replies) Locked Topic Sticky Topic Poll ANTICIPATING MY EVERY MOVE anticipating my every move. « on: May 13, 2021, 11:43:03 AM ». I am pretty sure I have spoken of this before A level of control that really frustrates me is anticipating my every move and thinking for me. If my dog is sitting on a chair, she is "waiting for me to give her attention." If I get up to make myself coffee, "do you needsweetner
THE PETULANT BORDERLINE Petulant borderline. This is a passive-aggressive person. He or she will injure himself or herself–either physically or emotionally–in an attempt to get needs met. This person has an unstable sense of self, a frantic fear of abandonment, and inability to express his orher needs.
WHY - OUTOFTHEFOG.NET My ex refused to accept that we were divorcing. He thought we’d get divorced and then remarry. He said it would be a clean slate. He wants you to give him a reason so that he can convince you that you arewrong.
BREAKING POINT
I have really reached breaking point, when you don't think she can go lower she does. Yesterday she shouted at me, told me I make her life miserable, told me to pack my bag, to get out of her country, call the estate agent and that she want a divorce. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH PD PETTY BEHAVIOUR? If PDmom is angry at you and can withhold something, she will absolutely delight in the pettiness of doing so. She got mad once when a distant cousin commented that my grandmother didn't like cousin's father. It was the truth, but PDmom decided her cousin was "throwing shade." A few weeks later, this cousin called to tell my mom she wasgoing
FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS, ACQUAINTANCES AND COWORKERS Normal Topic Hot Topic (More than 15 replies) Very Hot Topic (More than 25 replies) Locked Topic Sticky Topic Poll THE MASK SLIPPED IN SPECTACULAR FASHION The Mask Slipped in Spectacular Fashion. « on: May 08, 2021, 05:14:51 PM ». So I've known my MIL had a PD since basically I met her. I know you get it, that once you know what a PD looks like it becomes glaringly obvious in the behaviors of others. I have very little to do with her (thank God) and she's never done or said a thing to me, but WHY - OUTOFTHEFOG.NET My ex refused to accept that we were divorcing. He thought we’d get divorced and then remarry. He said it would be a clean slate. He wants you to give him a reason so that he can convince you that you arewrong.
MY MOTHER HAS BEFRIENDED MY FRIEND!!! My mother has befriended my friend!!! « on: May 11, 2021, 05:25:16 AM . My Nmother’s best friend’s daughter is a very good friend of mine. However, I’ve recently discovered my mother is messaging her every 2-3 days! My friend is very ill and my mother is supposedly being kind and supportive! Obviously, after counselling and lots of FLYING MONKEY BROTHER Re: Flying monkey brother - Im so annoyed. « Reply #2 on: March 18, 2021, 07:05:48 PM ». That's a very cruel message. I'm sorry. I'd be really annoyed too. Remember how you feel, because this is a good example of how the toxicity leaks into a life. I think often we forget how bad it makes us feel, but it is not good for us, even if we doforget.
BREAKING POINT
I have really reached breaking point, when you don't think she can go lower she does. Yesterday she shouted at me, told me I make her life miserable, told me to pack my bag, to get out of her country, call the estate agent and that she want a divorce. WHEN DO YOU MAKE THE DECISION? Jerry Wise talks about just taking on what they say, and ‘agreeing’ with them. As in; ‘That’s just me dad, I’ve had jobs to do, and I’m ringing later than you thought I would, Do you know what dad, it may well happen again so there you are. Not much I can do, I’m just aGRUDGE HOLDING
I've been thinking about what led me to NC a bit just lately. Grudging holding seemed to be integral to my nDad's personality. Usually the grudge was against an adult male member (distant cousins/in-laws etc.) of the extended family and it was held on to forever. FEAR OF ABANDONMENT IS A SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY FOR PDS? The first few years after uNPDh and I moved in together, he would randomly get triggered and either rage at me, or shut me out (or shut me out after raging) because he was convinced I wanted to leave, didn't love him, didn't want him around, wanted to kick him out, hated him, wanted another man, already had another man, etc etc. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH PD PETTY BEHAVIOUR? If PDmom is angry at you and can withhold something, she will absolutely delight in the pettiness of doing so. She got mad once when a distant cousin commented that my grandmother didn't like cousin's father. It was the truth, but PDmom decided her cousin was "throwing shade." A few weeks later, this cousin called to tell my mom she wasgoing
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