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* What'sUpInMyLife
* AboutMeKinda
* I'mAddictedToTeeFury* IOwnPets
* AskMeAnything
* SubmitToMe
* Archive
maybe it's the year
here's to hoping
Dec 30 '19
♋
chewbacca
:
> THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987), dir. Rob Reiner16,987 notes
(via chewbacca
)
Dec 24 '19
♋
stardustcake
:
> Commissioned work, please do not use999 notes
(via stardustcake
)
Dec 24 '19
♋
terriblenerd
:
> terriblenerd
> :
>
>> terriblenerd :>>
>>> terriblenerd :>>>
>>>> IT’S TOTALLY DIFFERENT DAD>>>>
>>>> GOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDUHHHHHHHH>>>
>>> the saga continues>>>
>>
>> the thrilling conclusion:>>
>> EDIT: I AM AN AIRHEAD AND FORGOT TO CREDIT @pixiepunch >> FOR INSPIRING THE THIRD >> INSTALLMENT. I MAY HAVE BEEN A FEW DRINKS IN WHEN I POSTED.>
> Dusting this off for the last time. Rise, my art son.122,494 notes
(via bootknifebandit& terriblenerd
)
Dec 24 '19
♋
goddessolga
:
> i found this picture of leonardo dicaprio>
> so i just
>
> im sorry.
621,551 notes
(via bootknifebandit & olivertwistandshout-deactivated)
Dec 24 '19
♋
luke-skywalker
:
> Happy Christmas!15,013 notes
(via potterdaily
& luke-skywalker
)
Dec 24 '19
♋
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
> hamotzi
> :
>
>> happy hanukkah!!!!>
> its the Happy Hanukkats :D200,652 notes
(via beautiful-mist
& hamotzi
)
Nov 20 '19
♋
worddevourer :
> And 100% reason to remember the name.>
> random-ferret :
>
>> Okay, since this post blew up I’ve gotten a lot of comments and >> messages, most of which fall into one of five categories:>>
>> 10% - people asking if I’m okay>>
>> 20% - people calling me an idiot>>
>> 5% - science side of tumblr explaining exactly why I’m an idiot>>
>> 15% - people saying they’re going to try it for themselves>>
>> 50% - people who misread the post and are very confused about the >> idea of capri sun burning your mouth>>
>> random-ferret
>> :
>>
>>> Hey guess what hellfire tastes like>>>
>>> random-ferret>>> :
>>>
>>>> I read that capsaicin makes your mouth feel like it’s >>>> burning because it increases your nerve sensitivity to heat, >>>> and menthol works by doing the same thing to cold>>>>
>>>> So if I eat a habanero pepper and then chew a bunch of breath >>>> mints they’ll each other out and I’ll be fine157,891 notes
(via nitramaraho
& random-ferret
)
Nov 8 '19
♋
naamahdarling
:
> naamahdarling
> :
>
>> egowave
>> :
>>
>>> this is the scariest tweet ive ever seen reading this made me >>> feel like im in the twilight zone>>
>> “Kill…me…” I manage to hiss through my teeth.>>
>> The PTA moms in attendance do not respond. In some of their faces >> I can see the same desperation. Their teeth bared, eyes too >> bright, too wide. We exchange looks, the companionship of >> animals caught in the same trap. Others don’t seem to >> notice. They were always this way.>>
>> The men, caught up in their own little social swirl, mostly >> associate with one another, but now and then I see a strained >> look, a back a little too tight, the hard knot of jaw muscles >> clenching, laughs just a little too hearty to be real. The trapped >> among them suffer, too. Differently, but no less horribly.>>
>> Rachel has pulled a large knife from my Pioneer Woman knife >> block. Its factory edge is a little dull with use, but the >> plastic handle still a vivid and cheerful blue. Rachel has >> triplets; her arms are very strong. I know she will stab deep.>>
>> “Please,” I cough. I know she hears, I know she >> understands. The Game is about to start. I _can’t _do this>> again.
>>
>> She raises it. For a moment my heart leaps, I dare to hope, then >> she passes me. “I saw this neat video on how to slice an >> avocado,” she says, pulling one from the thrifted vintage glass >> bowl I stenciled my children’s names onto after a sleepless >> night spent funneling Pinterest directly into my eye sockets as my >> husband slept beside me, unaware. She garnishes the guacamole >> with fresh slices, her movements displaying the expert precision >> of someone who was taught with pain. “I’m sorry,” she >> murmurs. “I tried.”>>
>> I pat her shoulder in sympathy and forgiveness and move on. I >> try to exclaim happily when my heavily-pregnant friend Karen talks >> about her impending gender reveal party, complete with “Guns or >> Glitter?” cake, but it’s more of a sad moan. The blade of the >> gender binary cuts so deep. I feel bad for her, really. She >> never knew the freedom of pronouns. Never knew the elation as >> the status quo, the good and God-ordained order of things, the >> English language itself, crumbling under the onslaught of the >> singular “they”.>>
>> Her words remind me, though, of the gendered marketing that >> segregates my day and I suddenly feel a crushing pressure in my >> ribs. I steal a moment to take my pink Lady Bic pen out of the >> drawer with the chalkboard label reading “this + that” and >> make a note on the grocery list. We need more girl Doritos and >> princess-themed goldfish crackers for the girls’ lunch boxes, >> and my husband is almost out of Dude Wipes and Bearglove. The >> compulsion eases. I sigh in relief.>>
>> Melissa, a hungry-looking size 10 brazen in her “Real Women >> Have Curves!” shirt, compliments the shabby chic washboard >> hanging over the sink, the one with the elegant script writing. >> I had tried so hard, so, _so_ hard, to form the shapes that would >> unbind me from this hellish existence, but all that came out >> was “Bless this Mess”. I don’t even believe in God >> anymore; at least, not His power. If He exists, He too is >> powerless before the grinding fist of heteronormativity.>>
>> I manage to retreat into my craft room, away from talk of the >> Homeowner’s Association’s tribunal coming up. The Carsons >> put up a rainbow wind sock last weekend, and the Nextdoor.com post >> about it is already over 1,000 notes long. The HOA _had_ to take >> action. They’re talking about a straight pride parade to bring >> the community together again after so divisive an act.>>
>> My craft room, my haven, is so much smaller than my husband’s >> man-cave, but it’s big enough for my Cricut machine, and >> there’s a small table where I shoot photos for my organizing and >> homemaking mommy blog, the one I had to start to end the >> nightmares. I sit among my washi tape and scrapbooking papers, >> heart as empty as my mason jars. The small things I make in here >> are beautiful, and the work of my hands is creative and clever, >> but it no longer satisfies me. It’s not genuine anymore.>>
>> For ten years I have floundered in this soft-focus bokeh >> heterosexual hell, ever since the cursed post came across my dash, >> the 20,000-likes-strong spell that ruined my life. February 4, >> 2018. Six months to the day before my marriage to Brad.>>
>> My former life is ruined. I don’t know where my girlfriend >> went. My last glimpse of her was in the sporting goods aisle at >> Wal-Mart, a pair of pink camo-print boots in her strong, scarred >> hands and a look of indescribable horror in her eyes. I love her >> so much, still. I can’t even remember her name. I would >> trade every crafting supply I own, every scrap of burlap, every >> button, every bead, for one more night, one more _hour_, with her.>>
>>
>> I open the small cupboard beneath the cutting mat table. In it is >> a shrine, festooned with icons I have painstakingly assembled and >> painted. Reproductions of every good luck post I could find. The >> tip toad, Roger the magical good luck fish, Joe Biden eating ice >> cream, the devious doggie of destiny, the bagel with its sacred >> tongue of flame, double luck double banana, the lucky cat with >> coins on its belly, the endless “money” animal memes – cats, >> dogs, fish, monkeys, alligators, enough to fill out a full tarot >> deck – even a desperate slapdash Pepe, the rarest, its arcane >> energy jabbing through the rest like a rank smell in an otherwise >> immaculately landscaped garden. But he was not _always _a symbol >> of evil and his power is undeniable, so I added him to the rest.>>
>> I pull out my craft knife and cut my finger, and I let three drops >> of blood fall on the strongest icon of them all. One I created >> myself, from my heart. It is the image of Freddie Mercury >> astride a unicorn, a shooting star falling into his open hand.>>
>> “Reblog in 30 seconds for good luck,” I whisper, tears >> shimmering in my eyes, just before closing the cabinet door >> again. I get to make a wish now. My heart is full of grief. >> It is so full. Outside the room, the first cheer for the first >> goal of The Game. A tear snakes its way down my >> perfectly-blended cheek. “Please let me be queer again.”>
> I still think this is the best horror piece I’ve ever written.188,764 notes
(via uqor
& egowave
)
Nov 7 '19
♋
fleebites
:
> finally finished this11,803 notes
(via uqor
& fleebites
)
Nov 7 '19
♋
lesbuchanan
:
> lesbuchanan
> :
>
>> lesbuchanan
>> :
>>
>>> Why is Microsoft literally illiterate>>
>> THAT IS THE CORRECT USE OF “IT’S” YOU PIECE OF SHIT>
80,766 notes
(via book-of-randomness& lesbuchanan
)
Nov 7 '19
♋
loveandthunder
:
> Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse + PARALLELS>
>
>
(Source: robertdowneys)
19,802 notes
(via busket
& robertdowneys
)
Nov 7 '19
♋
roguesquadron2
:
> handsomejackass
> :
>
>> can’t wait to get fucking smashed while hot potato plays in the>> background
>
> catch me in the pit during fruit salad251,568 notes
(via ceejay1163
& handsomejackass
)
Nov 7 '19
♋
theobligatedklutz
:
> ✊🏻😔
>
> drakewalkerwhipped> :
>
>>
>> mwagneto :
>>
>>> TWO MONTHS LEFT OF THE 2010S HOW ARE WE FEELING275,386 notes
(via
nightmaretarts &
mwagneto
)
Nov 2 '19
♋
potterwatch
:
>> _She had it coming >> She had it coming >> She only had herself to blame_1,743 notes
(via potterdaily
& potterwatch
)
Nov 2 '19
♋
liberalsarecool
:
>
> Meritocracy is largely a myth. (Source: liberalsarecool)
15,857 notes
(via
scarlet-rosepetals
&
liberalsarecool
)
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