GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as well

as a preview of

PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as well

as a preview of

PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMES Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the

GARRY’S MOD (PC)

I don’t have an interesting statement to start the review with, so here’s a screenshot of Lili de Rochefort as she appears in Tekken 6, being chased by three pigs from Wind Waker and a giant tank.. That image was created using Garry’s Mod.It is a completely open sandbox game, with the emphasis placed solely on you. STARBOUND: IN PERSPECTIVE Starbound went from being an improvement upon Terraria and Minecraft ‘s model to its own emergent entity. Quests, dungeons, ships! Even a new place to interact with NPCs! Some of these aren’t all that great, to be honest. Some quests require you to find really difficult things in a short period of time. The main quest is rather silly, a MEGA MAN 10 (WII-WW) Proto Man is smiling because he knows you'll want to play as him first. Mega Man 10 is the greatest Mega Man game of all time.. One of the statements in the sentence above is a lie. Mega Man 10 has the potential to be the greatest Mega Man game of all time, but while parts of it constitute one of the finest Mega Man experiences to date, Mega Man 10 falls extremely short in a few critical areas. GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: DEMON’S SOULS A fog has now consumed the kingdom of Boleteria, and everyone in it and the surrounding lands have completely disappeared. Loads of warriors, magicians, Steve Irwin, and other people that are terrible at pattern recognition have gone into it in an effort to OF THE MONTH: IRATA’S QUEST: DOOMED ISLE Atari 5200 Game I’m Helping to Create of The Month: Irata’s Quest: Doomed Isle. A little while back, I was informed by my good buddy Paul that the ruler of Mean Hamster Software was having troubles coming up with the storyline to a video game he wanted to create, entitled Irata’s Quest: Doomed Isle. YOU DON’T KNOW JACK (PS1) You Don’t Know Jack is a no-frills comical take on the trivia genre. The title plays like a game of Jeopardy!, in that one to three players compete against each other to answer various questions and gain various points. Each question is crafted carefully to combine both an element of “high culture” (read: boring stuff) and “pop culture VERSUS MODE: CRAZY TAXI VS. SIMPSONS: ROAD RAGE So here we go, again, with another Versus Mode based upon a Simpsons parody. This time, the parody is of Crazy Taxi for the Sega Dreamcast. Oh -- by the way -- at the end of this article, there is a poll for the special New Year's Versus Mode in January look around down their for details. Crazy Taxi (DC) vs. The Simpsons: Rode Rage (GCN)

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as well

as a preview of

PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as well

as a preview of

PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMES Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the

GARRY’S MOD (PC)

I don’t have an interesting statement to start the review with, so here’s a screenshot of Lili de Rochefort as she appears in Tekken 6, being chased by three pigs from Wind Waker and a giant tank.. That image was created using Garry’s Mod.It is a completely open sandbox game, with the emphasis placed solely on you. STARBOUND: IN PERSPECTIVE Starbound went from being an improvement upon Terraria and Minecraft ‘s model to its own emergent entity. Quests, dungeons, ships! Even a new place to interact with NPCs! Some of these aren’t all that great, to be honest. Some quests require you to find really difficult things in a short period of time. The main quest is rather silly, a MEGA MAN 10 (WII-WW) Proto Man is smiling because he knows you'll want to play as him first. Mega Man 10 is the greatest Mega Man game of all time.. One of the statements in the sentence above is a lie. Mega Man 10 has the potential to be the greatest Mega Man game of all time, but while parts of it constitute one of the finest Mega Man experiences to date, Mega Man 10 falls extremely short in a few critical areas. GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: DEMON’S SOULS A fog has now consumed the kingdom of Boleteria, and everyone in it and the surrounding lands have completely disappeared. Loads of warriors, magicians, Steve Irwin, and other people that are terrible at pattern recognition have gone into it in an effort to OF THE MONTH: IRATA’S QUEST: DOOMED ISLE Atari 5200 Game I’m Helping to Create of The Month: Irata’s Quest: Doomed Isle. A little while back, I was informed by my good buddy Paul that the ruler of Mean Hamster Software was having troubles coming up with the storyline to a video game he wanted to create, entitled Irata’s Quest: Doomed Isle. YOU DON’T KNOW JACK (PS1) You Don’t Know Jack is a no-frills comical take on the trivia genre. The title plays like a game of Jeopardy!, in that one to three players compete against each other to answer various questions and gain various points. Each question is crafted carefully to combine both an element of “high culture” (read: boring stuff) and “pop culture VERSUS MODE: CRAZY TAXI VS. SIMPSONS: ROAD RAGE So here we go, again, with another Versus Mode based upon a Simpsons parody. This time, the parody is of Crazy Taxi for the Sega Dreamcast. Oh -- by the way -- at the end of this article, there is a poll for the special New Year's Versus Mode in January look around down their for details. Crazy Taxi (DC) vs. The Simpsons: Rode Rage (GCN)

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a GAMERA OBSCURA: UNCLE POO And hey, maybe your body will get a few ideas and cut you some slack. Uncle Poo was released for the arcades in 1983 by a company known as Diatec. No, not Diarrhea-tec, just Diatec. The company wasn’t very popular; heck, it was probably just some 15-year-old kid in his basement fiddling with a keyboard and a dirty mind. THE GREAT OMEGLE DEBATE: MURDER MOST FOUL For those of you unfamiliar with Omegle, it is a website that allows you to chat with other users at random. Half of the users are bots (not particularly clever ones, however) and the other half are anonymous, racist douchebags who are trying to out-compete each other for the coveted title of Worst Human in the Universe. And each and every one of them is trying to have sex with you. MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a GAMERA OBSCURA: UNCLE POO And hey, maybe your body will get a few ideas and cut you some slack. Uncle Poo was released for the arcades in 1983 by a company known as Diatec. No, not Diarrhea-tec, just Diatec. The company wasn’t very popular; heck, it was probably just some 15-year-old kid in his basement fiddling with a keyboard and a dirty mind. THE GREAT OMEGLE DEBATE: MURDER MOST FOUL For those of you unfamiliar with Omegle, it is a website that allows you to chat with other users at random. Half of the users are bots (not particularly clever ones, however) and the other half are anonymous, racist douchebags who are trying to out-compete each other for the coveted title of Worst Human in the Universe. And each and every one of them is trying to have sex with you. MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH (PC) EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH is the mouthful of a sequel to EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER. You follow the continuing adventures of the Sundown Meatpunks, a group containing Cass, Lianna, Brad, and Sam, as they journey to steal the Sun and save the world. Controls are the same—it’s a visual novel with WASD and mouse-based mecha brawling.

TRIPLEA (PC)

Axis & Allies is a board game from Wizards of the Coast where players control one of the eponymous alliances of World War II.While not nearly as well-known as classics like Monopoly or Diplomacy, Axis & Allies has a pretty good following around the world, tending to be a fairly large draw at Gen Con. Devoted fans of the game created a fully independent website to honor and discuss Axis DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE IS Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: DEMON’S SOULS A fog has now consumed the kingdom of Boleteria, and everyone in it and the surrounding lands have completely disappeared. Loads of warriors, magicians, Steve Irwin, and other people that are terrible at pattern recognition have gone into it in an effort to OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as well

as a preview of

TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a THE GREAT OMEGLE DEBATE: MURDER MOST FOUL For those of you unfamiliar with Omegle, it is a website that allows you to chat with other users at random. Half of the users are bots (not particularly clever ones, however) and the other half are anonymous, racist douchebags who are trying to out-compete each other for the coveted title of Worst Human in the Universe. And each and every one of them is trying to have sex with you. WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a GAMERA OBSCURA: UNCLE POO And hey, maybe your body will get a few ideas and cut you some slack. Uncle Poo was released for the arcades in 1983 by a company known as Diatec. No, not Diarrhea-tec, just Diatec. The company wasn’t very popular; heck, it was probably just some 15-year-old kid in his basement fiddling with a keyboard and a dirty mind. THE GREAT OMEGLE DEBATE: MURDER MOST FOUL For those of you unfamiliar with Omegle, it is a website that allows you to chat with other users at random. Half of the users are bots (not particularly clever ones, however) and the other half are anonymous, racist douchebags who are trying to out-compete each other for the coveted title of Worst Human in the Universe. And each and every one of them is trying to have sex with you. MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a GAMERA OBSCURA: UNCLE POO And hey, maybe your body will get a few ideas and cut you some slack. Uncle Poo was released for the arcades in 1983 by a company known as Diatec. No, not Diarrhea-tec, just Diatec. The company wasn’t very popular; heck, it was probably just some 15-year-old kid in his basement fiddling with a keyboard and a dirty mind. THE GREAT OMEGLE DEBATE: MURDER MOST FOUL For those of you unfamiliar with Omegle, it is a website that allows you to chat with other users at random. Half of the users are bots (not particularly clever ones, however) and the other half are anonymous, racist douchebags who are trying to out-compete each other for the coveted title of Worst Human in the Universe. And each and every one of them is trying to have sex with you. MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH (PC) EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH is the mouthful of a sequel to EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER. You follow the continuing adventures of the Sundown Meatpunks, a group containing Cass, Lianna, Brad, and Sam, as they journey to steal the Sun and save the world. Controls are the same—it’s a visual novel with WASD and mouse-based mecha brawling.

TRIPLEA (PC)

Axis & Allies is a board game from Wizards of the Coast where players control one of the eponymous alliances of World War II.While not nearly as well-known as classics like Monopoly or Diplomacy, Axis & Allies has a pretty good following around the world, tending to be a fairly large draw at Gen Con. Devoted fans of the game created a fully independent website to honor and discuss Axis DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE IS Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: DEMON’S SOULS A fog has now consumed the kingdom of Boleteria, and everyone in it and the surrounding lands have completely disappeared. Loads of warriors, magicians, Steve Irwin, and other people that are terrible at pattern recognition have gone into it in an effort to OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as well

as a preview of

THE GREAT OMEGLE DEBATE: MURDER MOST FOUL For those of you unfamiliar with Omegle, it is a website that allows you to chat with other users at random. Half of the users are bots (not particularly clever ones, however) and the other half are anonymous, racist douchebags who are trying to out-compete each other for the coveted title of Worst Human in the Universe. And each and every one of them is trying to have sex with you. WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as well

as a preview of

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as well

as a preview of

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMES Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH (PC) EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH is the mouthful of a sequel to EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER. You follow the continuing adventures of the Sundown Meatpunks, a group containing Cass, Lianna, Brad, and Sam, as they journey to steal the Sun and save the world. Controls are the same—it’s a visual novel with WASD and mouse-based mecha brawling. STARBOUND: IN PERSPECTIVE Starbound went from being an improvement upon Terraria and Minecraft ‘s model to its own emergent entity. Quests, dungeons, ships! Even a new place to interact with NPCs! Some of these aren’t all that great, to be honest. Some quests require you to find really difficult things in a short period of time. The main quest is rather silly, a T-REX RUNNER (BROWSER) Deep inside Google Chrome’s coding is an Easter egg for this game called “ T-Rex ” or “ T-Rex Runner “. Essentially, whenever Google can’t connect to the Internet, it makes amends by leaving you this game to play while your computer tries to identify the problem and/or reconnect to the Internet. The game itself is extremely simple MEGA MAN 10 (WII-WW) Proto Man is smiling because he knows you'll want to play as him first. Mega Man 10 is the greatest Mega Man game of all time.. One of the statements in the sentence above is a lie. Mega Man 10 has the potential to be the greatest Mega Man game of all time, but while parts of it constitute one of the finest Mega Man experiences to date, Mega Man 10 falls extremely short in a few critical areas. YOU DON’T KNOW JACK (PS1) You Don’t Know Jack is a no-frills comical take on the trivia genre. The title plays like a game of Jeopardy!, in that one to three players compete against each other to answer various questions and gain various points. Each question is crafted carefully to combine both an element of “high culture” (read: boring stuff) and “pop culture FLASH FLOOD: MEGA MAN VERSUS EVERYONE ELSE Link vs. Zero :.. Creator: Xx-VGMaster-xX Length: Average (2-5 minutes). Description: A somewhat bloody, no-holds-barred duel to the death between Link and Zero. Review: Zero is from the Mega Man X games, so this totally goes along with the theme of “Mega Man versus everyone.” Some of the action is very cool, but there’s a notable lack of sound effects, and the video eventually takes a PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

OF THE MONTH: IRATA’S QUEST: DOOMED ISLE Atari 5200 Game I’m Helping to Create of The Month: Irata’s Quest: Doomed Isle. A little while back, I was informed by my good buddy Paul that the ruler of Mean Hamster Software was having troubles coming up with the storyline to a video game he wanted to create, entitled

Irata’s Quest:

DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE ISCLOUD STRIFE AGECLOUD STRIFE ANIMECLOUD STRIFE FANARTCLOUD STRIFE FANDOMCLOUD STRIFE IMAGESHOW MANY GAMES IS CLOUD STRIFE IN Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithful

recreation.

OF THE MONTH: IRATA’S QUEST: DOOMED ISLE Atari 5200 Game I’m Helping to Create of The Month: Irata’s Quest: Doomed Isle. A little while back, I was informed by my good buddy Paul that the ruler of Mean Hamster Software was having troubles coming up with the storyline to a video game he wanted to create, entitled

Irata’s Quest:

DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE ISCLOUD STRIFE AGECLOUD STRIFE ANIMECLOUD STRIFE FANARTCLOUD STRIFE FANDOMCLOUD STRIFE IMAGESHOW MANY GAMES IS CLOUD STRIFE IN Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH (PC) EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH is the mouthful of a sequel to EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER. You follow the continuing adventures of the Sundown Meatpunks, a group containing Cass, Lianna, Brad, and Sam, as they journey to steal the Sun and save the world. Controls are the same—it’s a visual novel with WASD and mouse-based mecha brawling.

GARRY’S MOD (PC)

I don’t have an interesting statement to start the review with, so here’s a screenshot of Lili de Rochefort as she appears in Tekken 6, being chased by three pigs from Wind Waker and a giant tank.. That image was created using Garry’s Mod.It is a completely open sandbox game, with the emphasis placed solely on you.

LAST BRONX (SAT)

Last Bronx is one of those fighters that had the unfortunate fate of falling through the cracks. It is probably one of the better arcade ports within the fighter genre. It only has a few shortcomings, but they are easily overlooked once you are dragged into the great

gameplay.

GYRUSS (NES)

I’ve never been big on rail shooters, despite owning a few. I had Super R-Type for SNES and R-Type 3 for Game Boy, but I didn’t really like them a whole lot. It was frustrating for me to die and then have to go back very far, just advancing in little baby steps and taking forever to get anywhere. YOU DON’T KNOW JACK (PS1) You Don’t Know Jack is a no-frills comical take on the trivia genre. The title plays like a game of Jeopardy!, in that one to three players compete against each other to answer various questions and gain various points. Each question is crafted carefully to combine both an element of “high culture” (read: boring stuff) and “pop culture CASTLEVANIA: RONDO OF BLOOD (WII-VC) I sometimes forget that I only became as good as I am at videogames because of the formative butt-kickings of my youth. Nowadays, I can blaze through most standard-length platformers in a single sitting—my blind playthrough of Mega Pony is proof enough of that—but every once in a while, I’ll be reminded of what it took to get this far. Such was the case with Castlevania: Rondo of Blood WWF IN YOUR HOUSE (PS1) 1996 came and went during a downtime for the World Wrestling Federation: Hulk Hogan was gone and making waves in rival promotion WCW, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin had yet to prove himself as a franchise player, and Monday Night Raw was littered with superstars such as “Fake Razor Ramon,” evil hockey player “The Goon,” and guy-with-a-jockstrap-on-his-face “Aldo Montoya.” MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

JEWEL KNIGHTS CRUSADERS (PC) Jewel Knights Crusaders, Matt Gardner, NSFW. System: PC. Genre: Role-Playing. Max Players: 1. US Release: May 2004. Developer: ZeroCool. Publisher: G-Collections. If you’re one of the many special people who have been wondering for years whether it’s possible to rape a woman and still be her friend, your long wait is

finally over. Ginji

GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as well

as a preview of

DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE ISCLOUD STRIFE AGECLOUD STRIFE ANIMECLOUD STRIFE FANARTCLOUD STRIFE FANDOMCLOUD STRIFE IMAGESHOW MANY GAMES IS CLOUD STRIFE IN Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the

AERANNIS (PC)

Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all future

projects, and

GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as well

as a preview of

DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE ISCLOUD STRIFE AGECLOUD STRIFE ANIMECLOUD STRIFE FANARTCLOUD STRIFE FANDOMCLOUD STRIFE IMAGESHOW MANY GAMES IS CLOUD STRIFE IN Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned

FAMILY DOG (SNES)

Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves is

a little

BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:

OH GOD WAIT.

MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMES Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH (PC) EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH is the mouthful of a sequel to EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER. You follow the continuing adventures of the Sundown Meatpunks, a group containing Cass, Lianna, Brad, and Sam, as they journey to steal the Sun and save the world. Controls are the same—it’s a visual novel with WASD and mouse-based mecha brawling. STARBOUND: IN PERSPECTIVE Starbound went from being an improvement upon Terraria and Minecraft ‘s model to its own emergent entity. Quests, dungeons, ships! Even a new place to interact with NPCs! Some of these aren’t all that great, to be honest. Some quests require you to find really difficult things in a short period of time. The main quest is rather silly, a JAMES POND: CODENAME ROBOCOD (PS1) It was published under the Play It label (which isn’t exactly known for its quality titles), on the PlayStation AND PlayStation 2, as well as the DS and Game Boy Advance. Four releases of what is effectively shovelware obviously wasn’t enough, as James Pond: Codename RoboCod was added to the PlayStation Network as a downloadable title in 2008. CASTLEVANIA: RONDO OF BLOOD (WII-VC) I sometimes forget that I only became as good as I am at videogames because of the formative butt-kickings of my youth. Nowadays, I can blaze through most standard-length platformers in a single sitting—my blind playthrough of Mega Pony is proof enough of that—but every once in a while, I’ll be reminded of what it took to get this far. Such was the case with Castlevania: Rondo of Blood YOU DON’T KNOW JACK (PS1) You Don’t Know Jack is a no-frills comical take on the trivia genre. The title plays like a game of Jeopardy!, in that one to three players compete against each other to answer various questions and gain various points. Each question is crafted carefully to combine both an element of “high culture” (read: boring stuff) and “pop culture PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners.

Skip to content

Search for: Search

Show Menu

* Home

* Reviews

* Columns

* News Posts

* Blog Posts

* Fan Submissions

* Podcasts

* Comics

* Videos

FEATURED ARTICLES

Why the Phoenix Wright Characters Will Die Alone A look at why the three main Phoenix Wright characters will be forever

dateless.

Top of the Heap: Pokémon Games That Aren't Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the otherwise family-friendly system. Games That Secretly Suck: PaRappa the Rapper PaRappa the Rapper is a beloved classic of the PlayStation era—but it secretly just sucks. Games That Secretly Suck: Demon's Souls Best played wearing a leather mask, some sort of chaps, and a safe

word.

Poker Ladies (ARC)

The classic PC game Wolfenstein invented and revolutionized the first-person shooter genre. But, in recent years, Wolfenstein has become a series of games that imitate other games, instead of comin Wipe Your Butt With Ace Attorney! Sorry about the glut of Ace Attorney news as of late, but I couldn't just let this one pass through me. Per Destructoid, to promote the Japanese release of Takashi Miike's Phoenix Wright film, a vari The Ace Attorney Series Has Been Cancelled. All three of the newest Phoenix Wright games will not be released

outside of Japan.

Disregard Canon, Acquire Representation: Naoto Shirogane is a

Transman

Why accept the canon explanation when the story could be so much more

interesting?

Be Careful What You Search For #103 The answers to all your Phoenix Wright-related questions, drawn in MS

Paint.

LATEST ARTICLES

*

FEATURED GAME SOUNDTRACK: ARCANA Columns by Alex Jedraszczak

on May 17, 2021

The game may be forgettable, but the music isn't!

*

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SEARCH FOR #103 Comics by Terrence Atkins

on May 10, 2021

The answers to all your Phoenix Wright-related questions, drawn in MS

Paint.

*

GC PODCAST #149: GAME CHANGES THAT CHANGED THE GAME Podcasts by Joseph Martin

on May 3, 2021

What a difference something different can make...

*

EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH (PC) Reviews by Robyn Tyrfing

on April 19, 2021

The sequel to EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER, the journey through this homey hellzone continues.

*

GC PODCAST #148: THE DEATH OF MARIO Podcasts by Joseph Martin

on April 5, 2021

Gather in remembrance...

*

GC PODCAST #147: NINTENDO DIRECTLY TO HADES Podcasts by Joseph Martin

on March 1, 2021

Note: We are not saying that Nintendo Direct watchers are being sent

to The Underworld

*

THE HALO MEGA BLOG: WHAT IS CANON? Columns by Daniel Castro on February 15, 2021 This time around on The Halo Mega Blog, Daniel talks about three items in his collection that—according to the Halo canon—don't quite

exist...or do they?

*

HIVESWAP: ACT 2 (PC) Reviews by Robyn Tyrfing

on February 8, 2021

After three years of waiting, we're back with the second act of HIVESWAP, the long-awaited Homestuck adventure game! Does the game live up to expectations, or is Robyn now jaded by the passage of time?

*

GC PODCAST #146: GAMESTOP STOCK VS. MEGA MAN Podcasts by Joseph Martin

on February 1, 2021

Please do not use GameCola to make financial decisions.

*

HACKS’N’SLASH #21: NOW AND THEN AND HEAL AND KILL Podcasts by Alex Jedraszczak

on January 29, 2021

Two fanfics that are almost old enough to vote, about a game that's almost old enough to drink.

POSTS NAVIGATION

Page 1 Page 2 Page 3

Page 4

Page 5 … Page 428

Next page

LOGIN

Username

Password

Remember Me

* Register

* Lost Password

CLICK HERE TO LOG IN!

GAMECOLA

* About GameCola

* Contact Us

* Current Staff List * Complete Column List * Top-Rated Articles

RANDOM ARTICLE

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood (Wii-VC) Finally, a game where you can peck Dracula to death with birds. Not interested? Try another >>

RECENT COMMENTS

* digeraddd on Games That Secretly Suck:

Scribblenauts

* idk on Doki Doki Nightmare Club, AKA: Don’t Play Psychological Horror Games at School * JT on Regency Love (iOS) * bruh on Why the Phoenix Wright Characters Will Die Alone * Vaisefuder on Games That Secretly Suck: Scribblenauts

GAMECOLA ON YOUTUBE

_ By PoseLab _

Show more videos»

GAMECOLA ON FACEBOOK OTHER SITES BY OUR STAFF 12 Followers/Meteo Xavier (Meteo Xavier) Arglefumph: The Nancy Drew Dude

(Michael Gray)

Guy Whose Website We're Linking To

(Nathaniel Hoover)

Things I Put In My Husband's Lunch

(Shannon Hoover)

River City Pixels (Daniel

Castro)

Zapetroid (Matt Breslau)

COPYRIGHT

All GameCola.net articles are owned by their attributed writers. All trademarks and copyrights are property of their respective owners. All products and characters are property of their respective trademark and copyright owners. Copyright in all screenshots is owned by their respective companies. If you want GameCola to review your videogame or computer game, please contact Alex Jedraszczak.