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NATIONAL REPORT
*DISCLAIMER: National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE Chase Logan Chase Logan is a graduate of Georgetown Law and current Washington insider. Chase works the Hill tirelessly in search of the next "Big Scoop" and has been the first to break some of the most salacious of DC stories from sexual indescretions to executivecover-ups.
35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings. After sp TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTER Chase Logan Chase Logan is a graduate of Georgetown Law and current Washington insider. Chase works the Hill tirelessly in search of the next "Big Scoop" and has been the first to break some of the most salacious of DC stories from sexual indescretions to executivecover-ups.
SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable energy, but that they are also draining the sun of its own energy, possibly with catastrophic GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
TROJAN NAME NEW ULTRA-THIN SKIN CONDOM AFTER DONALD TRUMP Trojan, the world leader in modern condom technology, announced today the company has developed the world’s thinnest-skin condom to date, and will market the new condom after the thinnest-skinned man to ever run for President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. MILLIONS MOURN AS ROCKER/ACTIVIST TED NUGENT, AGE 71 Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, where Nugent, 71, is well-known for his fierce advocacy for conservative causes, unwavering support for the rights of gun owners and hunters, and ferocious TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAH Sarah Jessica Parker will take on the role of American Pharoah. In an interview with IGN, Van Sant claimed Parker was his first choice for the role.“I can’t see anyone else playing Pharoah,” he explains.NATIONAL REPORT
*DISCLAIMER: National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE Chase Logan Chase Logan is a graduate of Georgetown Law and current Washington insider. Chase works the Hill tirelessly in search of the next "Big Scoop" and has been the first to break some of the most salacious of DC stories from sexual indescretions to executivecover-ups.
35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings. After sp TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTER Chase Logan Chase Logan is a graduate of Georgetown Law and current Washington insider. Chase works the Hill tirelessly in search of the next "Big Scoop" and has been the first to break some of the most salacious of DC stories from sexual indescretions to executivecover-ups.
SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable energy, but that they are also draining the sun of its own energy, possibly with catastrophic GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
TROJAN NAME NEW ULTRA-THIN SKIN CONDOM AFTER DONALD TRUMP Trojan, the world leader in modern condom technology, announced today the company has developed the world’s thinnest-skin condom to date, and will market the new condom after the thinnest-skinned man to ever run for President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. MILLIONS MOURN AS ROCKER/ACTIVIST TED NUGENT, AGE 71 Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, where Nugent, 71, is well-known for his fierce advocacy for conservative causes, unwavering support for the rights of gun owners and hunters, and ferocious TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAH Sarah Jessica Parker will take on the role of American Pharoah. In an interview with IGN, Van Sant claimed Parker was his first choice for the role.“I can’t see anyone else playing Pharoah,” he explains. CONTRIBUTE | NATIONAL REPORT National Report is always seeking talented writers and/or compelling content. If you are interested in becoming part of the National Report family, please complete the questions below and submit the form forconsideration.
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Each month tens of unique visitors pass through the virtual doors of National Report. The National Report covers politics, culture, and foreign policy from the perspective of traditional co ‘WOUNDED SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR PROJECT’ REBUILDS HOPE Shane Paulson Shane Paulson is a pioneer in the field of mobile journalism. Logging millions of miles in his heavily modified Volkswagen Bug camper, Shane has dedicated his life to going wherever the story takes him. TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. TRUMP UNIVERSITY STUDY FINDS CORRELATION BETWEEN MENTHOL New York City, NY – As Donald Trump takes on the Republican establishment, Democrats and the mainstream media, he’s telling supporters they’re fighting against a “rigged” system, rife with voter fraud. The left, predictably, say talk like this is “dangerous” to the integrity of our electoral system, and then glibly ask for Mr. Trump to prove his voter fraud allegations. DISCLAIMER | NATIONAL REPORT *DISCLAIMER: National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. ALEX JONES SUGGESTS FLYING FALSE FLAG AT HALF-STAFF FOR Chase Logan Chase Logan is a graduate of Georgetown Law and current Washington insider. Chase works the Hill tirelessly in search of the next "Big Scoop" and has been the first to break some of the most salacious of DC stories from sexual indescretions to executivecover-ups.
STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. DARK ALLEY DAN AND THE BAD BAD MAN It seems as if George Zimmerman has found a new calling in life. One that could possibly restore his tainted public image and help children around the world to avoid situations similar to the one that cost Trayvon Martin his life. MAN SHOUTS ‘ALLAHU AKBAR!’ BEFORE PHOTOBOMB Shane Paulson Shane Paulson is a pioneer in the field of mobile journalism. Logging millions of miles in his heavily modified Volkswagen Bug camper, Shane hasNATIONAL REPORT
National Report | America's Shittiest Independent News Source. 05212021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing.GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits | National Report. 05282021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. Trump University Study Finds Correlation Between Menthol Cigarettes andVoter Fraud.
TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE The visibly distressed Trump held his composure to go on to drain the next three tea shots on hole 14 (209 yard par 3), hole 15 (a short yet challenging 379 yard par 4), and hole 16 (a slight dog leg left par 4 at 403 yards) for a world record 12 holes-in-one and an astounding 39 under par round of 55. From all accounts it was a round of the ages. GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM 35-Year-Old Man Sues His Mother After Being Evicted From Basement Of Her Home. Pictured: Duane Hollingsworth, Loser evicted from mother’s basement. Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings.After
SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY Solar Panels Drain the Sun’s Energy, Experts Say. This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable STUDY SHOWS TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE Study Shows Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After Age 19. A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19. The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon. MILLIONS MOURN AS ROCKER/ACTIVIST TED NUGENT, AGE 71 Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, where Nugent, 71, is well-known for his fierce advocacy for conservative causes, unwavering support for the rights of gun owners and hunters, and ferocious SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAH Sarah Jessica Parker will take on the role of American Pharoah. In an interview with IGN, Van Sant claimed Parker was his first choice for the role. “I can’t see anyone else playing Pharoah,” he explains. “When I look at , I see a thoroughbred racehorse. She was born to play this role, and I’m excited to watch her bringthis
TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTER Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign. President Donald John Trump owning snooty liberals by supporting Mexican food brand “Goya” after years of caging immigrant children and referring to Mexican people as animals and rapists. The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans MatterNATIONAL REPORT
National Report | America's Shittiest Independent News Source. 05212021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing.GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits | National Report. 05282021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. Trump University Study Finds Correlation Between Menthol Cigarettes andVoter Fraud.
TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE The visibly distressed Trump held his composure to go on to drain the next three tea shots on hole 14 (209 yard par 3), hole 15 (a short yet challenging 379 yard par 4), and hole 16 (a slight dog leg left par 4 at 403 yards) for a world record 12 holes-in-one and an astounding 39 under par round of 55. From all accounts it was a round of the ages. GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM 35-Year-Old Man Sues His Mother After Being Evicted From Basement Of Her Home. Pictured: Duane Hollingsworth, Loser evicted from mother’s basement. Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings.After
SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY Solar Panels Drain the Sun’s Energy, Experts Say. This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable STUDY SHOWS TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE Study Shows Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After Age 19. A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19. The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon. MILLIONS MOURN AS ROCKER/ACTIVIST TED NUGENT, AGE 71 Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, where Nugent, 71, is well-known for his fierce advocacy for conservative causes, unwavering support for the rights of gun owners and hunters, and ferocious SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAH Sarah Jessica Parker will take on the role of American Pharoah. In an interview with IGN, Van Sant claimed Parker was his first choice for the role. “I can’t see anyone else playing Pharoah,” he explains. “When I look at , I see a thoroughbred racehorse. She was born to play this role, and I’m excited to watch her bringthis
TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTER Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign. President Donald John Trump owning snooty liberals by supporting Mexican food brand “Goya” after years of caging immigrant children and referring to Mexican people as animals and rapists. The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans MatterGREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits | National Report. 05282021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. Trump University Study Finds Correlation Between Menthol Cigarettes andVoter Fraud.
CONTRIBUTE | NATIONAL REPORT National Report is always seeking talented writers and/or compelling content. If you are interested in becoming part of the National Report family, please complete the questions below and submit the form forconsideration.
TROJAN NAME NEW ULTRA-THIN SKIN CONDOM AFTER DONALD TRUMP Trojan, the world leader in modern condom technology, announced today the company has developed the world’s thinnest-skin condom to date, and will market the new condom after the thinnest-skinned man to ever run for President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTER Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign. President Donald John Trump owning snooty liberals by supporting Mexican food brand “Goya” after years of caging immigrant children and referring to Mexican people as animals and rapists. The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans Matter STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. ‘WOUNDED SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR PROJECT’ REBUILDS HOPE The mission of the Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project ® is to honor and empower our wounded heroes. Its purpose is to raise awareness of injured social activists, to help find them aid, and to provide unique, direct programs and services to help them continue with their activism. WSJWP is a national, nonpartisan organizationheadquartered
OBAMA USES OWN MONEY TO OPEN MUSLIM MUSEUM AMID … Obama Uses Own Money To Open Muslim Museum Amid Government Shutdown | National Report. 05242021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. The sudden change follows complaints from MAN SHOUTS ‘ALLAHU AKBAR!’ BEFORE PHOTOBOMB Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar!’. Before Photobomb. Amsterdam, Netherlands – According to Dutch police, a crazed man detonated a devastating photobomb on an unsuspecting newlywed couple visiting Amsterdam on their honeymoon. The couple, John and Maggie Hillard from Manistique, Michigan, was taking a tour of the city Tuesday afternoonand taking
ALEX JONES SUGGESTS FLYING FALSE FLAG AT HALF-STAFF FOR Chase Logan Chase Logan is a graduate of Georgetown Law and current Washington insider. Chase works the Hill tirelessly in search of the next "Big Scoop" and has been the first to break some of the most salacious of DC stories from sexual indescretions to executivecover-ups.
NATIONAL REPORT
National Report | America's Shittiest Independent News Source. 05212021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing.GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits | National Report. 05282021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. Trump University Study Finds Correlation Between Menthol Cigarettes andVoter Fraud.
TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE The visibly distressed Trump held his composure to go on to drain the next three tea shots on hole 14 (209 yard par 3), hole 15 (a short yet challenging 379 yard par 4), and hole 16 (a slight dog leg left par 4 at 403 yards) for a world record 12 holes-in-one and an astounding 39 under par round of 55. From all accounts it was a round of the ages. GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM 35-Year-Old Man Sues His Mother After Being Evicted From Basement Of Her Home. Pictured: Duane Hollingsworth, Loser evicted from mother’s basement. Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings.After
SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY Solar Panels Drain the Sun’s Energy, Experts Say. This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable STUDY SHOWS TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE Study Shows Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After Age 19. A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19. The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon. MILLIONS MOURN AS ROCKER/ACTIVIST TED NUGENT, AGE 71 Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, where Nugent, 71, is well-known for his fierce advocacy for conservative causes, unwavering support for the rights of gun owners and hunters, and ferocious SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAH Sarah Jessica Parker will take on the role of American Pharoah. In an interview with IGN, Van Sant claimed Parker was his first choice for the role. “I can’t see anyone else playing Pharoah,” he explains. “When I look at , I see a thoroughbred racehorse. She was born to play this role, and I’m excited to watch her bringthis
TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTER Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign. President Donald John Trump owning snooty liberals by supporting Mexican food brand “Goya” after years of caging immigrant children and referring to Mexican people as animals and rapists. The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans MatterNATIONAL REPORT
National Report | America's Shittiest Independent News Source. 05212021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing.GREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits | National Report. 05282021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. Trump University Study Finds Correlation Between Menthol Cigarettes andVoter Fraud.
TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE The visibly distressed Trump held his composure to go on to drain the next three tea shots on hole 14 (209 yard par 3), hole 15 (a short yet challenging 379 yard par 4), and hole 16 (a slight dog leg left par 4 at 403 yards) for a world record 12 holes-in-one and an astounding 39 under par round of 55. From all accounts it was a round of the ages. GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM 35-Year-Old Man Sues His Mother After Being Evicted From Basement Of Her Home. Pictured: Duane Hollingsworth, Loser evicted from mother’s basement. Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings.After
SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY Solar Panels Drain the Sun’s Energy, Experts Say. This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable STUDY SHOWS TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE Study Shows Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After Age 19. A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19. The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon. MILLIONS MOURN AS ROCKER/ACTIVIST TED NUGENT, AGE 71 Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, where Nugent, 71, is well-known for his fierce advocacy for conservative causes, unwavering support for the rights of gun owners and hunters, and ferocious SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAH Sarah Jessica Parker will take on the role of American Pharoah. In an interview with IGN, Van Sant claimed Parker was his first choice for the role. “I can’t see anyone else playing Pharoah,” he explains. “When I look at , I see a thoroughbred racehorse. She was born to play this role, and I’m excited to watch her bringthis
TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTER Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign. President Donald John Trump owning snooty liberals by supporting Mexican food brand “Goya” after years of caging immigrant children and referring to Mexican people as animals and rapists. The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans MatterGREATEST HITS
Greatest Hits | National Report. 05282021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. Trump University Study Finds Correlation Between Menthol Cigarettes andVoter Fraud.
CONTRIBUTE | NATIONAL REPORT National Report is always seeking talented writers and/or compelling content. If you are interested in becoming part of the National Report family, please complete the questions below and submit the form forconsideration.
TROJAN NAME NEW ULTRA-THIN SKIN CONDOM AFTER DONALD TRUMP Trojan, the world leader in modern condom technology, announced today the company has developed the world’s thinnest-skin condom to date, and will market the new condom after the thinnest-skinned man to ever run for President of the United States, Donald J. Trump. TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTER Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign. President Donald John Trump owning snooty liberals by supporting Mexican food brand “Goya” after years of caging immigrant children and referring to Mexican people as animals and rapists. The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans Matter STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. ‘WOUNDED SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR PROJECT’ REBUILDS HOPE The mission of the Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project ® is to honor and empower our wounded heroes. Its purpose is to raise awareness of injured social activists, to help find them aid, and to provide unique, direct programs and services to help them continue with their activism. WSJWP is a national, nonpartisan organizationheadquartered
OBAMA USES OWN MONEY TO OPEN MUSLIM MUSEUM AMID … Obama Uses Own Money To Open Muslim Museum Amid Government Shutdown | National Report. 05242021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. The sudden change follows complaints from MAN SHOUTS ‘ALLAHU AKBAR!’ BEFORE PHOTOBOMB Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar!’. Before Photobomb. Amsterdam, Netherlands – According to Dutch police, a crazed man detonated a devastating photobomb on an unsuspecting newlywed couple visiting Amsterdam on their honeymoon. The couple, John and Maggie Hillard from Manistique, Michigan, was taking a tour of the city Tuesday afternoonand taking
ALEX JONES SUGGESTS FLYING FALSE FLAG AT HALF-STAFF FOR Chase Logan Chase Logan is a graduate of Georgetown Law and current Washington insider. Chase works the Hill tirelessly in search of the next "Big Scoop" and has been the first to break some of the most salacious of DC stories from sexual indescretions to executivecover-ups.
NATIONAL REPORT
National Report | America's Shittiest Independent News Source. 05212021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE The visibly distressed Trump held his composure to go on to drain the next three tea shots on hole 14 (209 yard par 3), hole 15 (a short yet challenging 379 yard par 4), and hole 16 (a slight dog leg left par 4 at 403 yards) for a world record 12 holes-in-one and an astounding 39 under par round of 55. From all accounts it was a round of the ages. 35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM 35-Year-Old Man Sues His Mother After Being Evicted From Basement Of Her Home. Pictured: Duane Hollingsworth, Loser evicted from mother’s basement. Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings.After
GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY Solar Panels Drain the Sun’s Energy, Experts Say. This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable STUDY SHOWS TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE Study Shows Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After Age 19. A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19. The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon. TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTERGOYA BLACK BEANS AND RICEGOYA BLACK BEANS CANGOYA CAN BEANSGOYA RED BEANS RECIPEHOW TO COOK GOYA BLACK BEANS Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign. President Donald John Trump owning snooty liberals by supporting Mexican food brand “Goya” after years of caging immigrant children and referring to Mexican people as animals and rapists. The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans Matter TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. The sudden change follows complaints from STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAHHORSE AMERICAN PHAROAHSIRE AMERICAN PHAROAHLAND OF THE PHARAOHS MOVIEPHARAOH S CURSE MOVIEAMERICAN PHAROAH OFFICIAL WEBSITEJAY PHAROAH MOVIES Sarah Jessica Parker will take on the role of American Pharoah. In an interview with IGN, Van Sant claimed Parker was his first choice for the role. “I can’t see anyone else playing Pharoah,” he explains. “When I look at , I see a thoroughbred racehorse. She was born to play this role, and I’m excited to watch her bringthis
NATIONAL REPORT
National Report | America's Shittiest Independent News Source. 05212021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE The visibly distressed Trump held his composure to go on to drain the next three tea shots on hole 14 (209 yard par 3), hole 15 (a short yet challenging 379 yard par 4), and hole 16 (a slight dog leg left par 4 at 403 yards) for a world record 12 holes-in-one and an astounding 39 under par round of 55. From all accounts it was a round of the ages. 35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM 35-Year-Old Man Sues His Mother After Being Evicted From Basement Of Her Home. Pictured: Duane Hollingsworth, Loser evicted from mother’s basement. Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings.After
GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY Solar Panels Drain the Sun’s Energy, Experts Say. This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable STUDY SHOWS TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE Study Shows Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After Age 19. A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19. The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon. TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTERGOYA BLACK BEANS AND RICEGOYA BLACK BEANS CANGOYA CAN BEANSGOYA RED BEANS RECIPEHOW TO COOK GOYA BLACK BEANS Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign. President Donald John Trump owning snooty liberals by supporting Mexican food brand “Goya” after years of caging immigrant children and referring to Mexican people as animals and rapists. The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans Matter TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. The sudden change follows complaints from STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAHHORSE AMERICAN PHAROAHSIRE AMERICAN PHAROAHLAND OF THE PHARAOHS MOVIEPHARAOH S CURSE MOVIEAMERICAN PHAROAH OFFICIAL WEBSITEJAY PHAROAH MOVIES Sarah Jessica Parker will take on the role of American Pharoah. In an interview with IGN, Van Sant claimed Parker was his first choice for the role. “I can’t see anyone else playing Pharoah,” he explains. “When I look at , I see a thoroughbred racehorse. She was born to play this role, and I’m excited to watch her bringthis
CONTRIBUTE | NATIONAL REPORT National Report is always seeking talented writers and/or compelling content. If you are interested in becoming part of the National Report family, please complete the questions below and submit the form forconsideration.
TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. The sudden change follows complaints from STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. DISCLAIMER | NATIONAL REPORT National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within National Report ‘WOUNDED SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR PROJECT’ REBUILDS HOPE The mission of the Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project ® is to honor and empower our wounded heroes. Its purpose is to raise awareness of injured social activists, to help find them aid, and to provide unique, direct programs and services to help them continue with their activism. WSJWP is a national, nonpartisan organizationheadquartered
OBAMA USES OWN MONEY TO OPEN MUSLIM MUSEUM AMID … Obama Uses Own Money To Open Muslim Museum Amid Government Shutdown | National Report. 05242021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. MAN SHOUTS ‘ALLAHU AKBAR!’ BEFORE PHOTOBOMB Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar!’. Before Photobomb. Amsterdam, Netherlands – According to Dutch police, a crazed man detonated a devastating photobomb on an unsuspecting newlywed couple visiting Amsterdam on their honeymoon. The couple, John and Maggie Hillard from Manistique, Michigan, was taking a tour of the city Tuesday afternoonand taking
MILLIONS MOURN AS ROCKER/ACTIVIST TED NUGENT, AGE 71 Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, where Nugent, 71, is well-known for his fierce advocacy for conservative causes, unwavering support for the rights of gun owners and hunters, and ferocious DARK ALLEY DAN AND THE BAD BAD MAN It seems as if George Zimmerman has found a new calling in life. One that could possibly restore his tainted public image and help children around the world to avoid situations similar to the one that cost Trayvon Martin his life. TRUMP PAINTS HIMSELF INTO A CORNER IN OVAL OFFICE Trump Paints Himself Into A Corner in Oval Office. Donald J. Trump, fresh from a second contentious Oval Office meeting with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, wasted no time blaming both Democrats for the breakdown in negotiations designed to bring an end to the federal government’s shutdown, now enteringNATIONAL REPORT
National Report | America's Shittiest Independent News Source. 05212021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE The visibly distressed Trump held his composure to go on to drain the next three tea shots on hole 14 (209 yard par 3), hole 15 (a short yet challenging 379 yard par 4), and hole 16 (a slight dog leg left par 4 at 403 yards) for a world record 12 holes-in-one and an astounding 39 under par round of 55. From all accounts it was a round of the ages. 35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM 35-Year-Old Man Sues His Mother After Being Evicted From Basement Of Her Home. Pictured: Duane Hollingsworth, Loser evicted from mother’s basement. Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings.After
GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY Solar Panels Drain the Sun’s Energy, Experts Say. This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable STUDY SHOWS TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE Study Shows Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After Age 19. A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19. The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon. TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTERGOYA BLACK BEANS AND RICEGOYA BLACK BEANS CANGOYA CAN BEANSGOYA RED BEANS RECIPEHOW TO COOK GOYA BLACK BEANS Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign. President Donald John Trump owning snooty liberals by supporting Mexican food brand “Goya” after years of caging immigrant children and referring to Mexican people as animals and rapists. The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans Matter TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. The sudden change follows complaints from STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAHHORSE AMERICAN PHAROAHSIRE AMERICAN PHAROAHLAND OF THE PHARAOHS MOVIEPHARAOH S CURSE MOVIEAMERICAN PHAROAH OFFICIAL WEBSITEJAY PHAROAH MOVIES Sarah Jessica Parker will take on the role of American Pharoah. In an interview with IGN, Van Sant claimed Parker was his first choice for the role. “I can’t see anyone else playing Pharoah,” he explains. “When I look at , I see a thoroughbred racehorse. She was born to play this role, and I’m excited to watch her bringthis
NATIONAL REPORT
National Report | America's Shittiest Independent News Source. 05212021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE The visibly distressed Trump held his composure to go on to drain the next three tea shots on hole 14 (209 yard par 3), hole 15 (a short yet challenging 379 yard par 4), and hole 16 (a slight dog leg left par 4 at 403 yards) for a world record 12 holes-in-one and an astounding 39 under par round of 55. From all accounts it was a round of the ages. 35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM 35-Year-Old Man Sues His Mother After Being Evicted From Basement Of Her Home. Pictured: Duane Hollingsworth, Loser evicted from mother’s basement. Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings.After
GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY Solar Panels Drain the Sun’s Energy, Experts Say. This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable STUDY SHOWS TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE Study Shows Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After Age 19. A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19. The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon. TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTERGOYA BLACK BEANS AND RICEGOYA BLACK BEANS CANGOYA CAN BEANSGOYA RED BEANS RECIPEHOW TO COOK GOYA BLACK BEANS Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign. President Donald John Trump owning snooty liberals by supporting Mexican food brand “Goya” after years of caging immigrant children and referring to Mexican people as animals and rapists. The Trump Administration has launched a “Black Beans Matter TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. The sudden change follows complaints from STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAHHORSE AMERICAN PHAROAHSIRE AMERICAN PHAROAHLAND OF THE PHARAOHS MOVIEPHARAOH S CURSE MOVIEAMERICAN PHAROAH OFFICIAL WEBSITEJAY PHAROAH MOVIES Sarah Jessica Parker will take on the role of American Pharoah. In an interview with IGN, Van Sant claimed Parker was his first choice for the role. “I can’t see anyone else playing Pharoah,” he explains. “When I look at , I see a thoroughbred racehorse. She was born to play this role, and I’m excited to watch her bringthis
CONTRIBUTE | NATIONAL REPORT National Report is always seeking talented writers and/or compelling content. If you are interested in becoming part of the National Report family, please complete the questions below and submit the form forconsideration.
TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. The sudden change follows complaints from STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. DISCLAIMER | NATIONAL REPORT National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within National Report ‘WOUNDED SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR PROJECT’ REBUILDS HOPE The mission of the Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project ® is to honor and empower our wounded heroes. Its purpose is to raise awareness of injured social activists, to help find them aid, and to provide unique, direct programs and services to help them continue with their activism. WSJWP is a national, nonpartisan organizationheadquartered
OBAMA USES OWN MONEY TO OPEN MUSLIM MUSEUM AMID … Obama Uses Own Money To Open Muslim Museum Amid Government Shutdown | National Report. 05242021Headline: Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers. ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose. Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing. MAN SHOUTS ‘ALLAHU AKBAR!’ BEFORE PHOTOBOMB Man Shouts ‘Allahu Akbar!’. Before Photobomb. Amsterdam, Netherlands – According to Dutch police, a crazed man detonated a devastating photobomb on an unsuspecting newlywed couple visiting Amsterdam on their honeymoon. The couple, John and Maggie Hillard from Manistique, Michigan, was taking a tour of the city Tuesday afternoonand taking
MILLIONS MOURN AS ROCKER/ACTIVIST TED NUGENT, AGE 71 Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, where Nugent, 71, is well-known for his fierce advocacy for conservative causes, unwavering support for the rights of gun owners and hunters, and ferocious DARK ALLEY DAN AND THE BAD BAD MAN It seems as if George Zimmerman has found a new calling in life. One that could possibly restore his tainted public image and help children around the world to avoid situations similar to the one that cost Trayvon Martin his life. TRUMP PAINTS HIMSELF INTO A CORNER IN OVAL OFFICE Trump Paints Himself Into A Corner in Oval Office. Donald J. Trump, fresh from a second contentious Oval Office meeting with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, wasted no time blaming both Democrats for the breakdown in negotiations designed to bring an end to the federal government’s shutdown, now enteringNATIONAL REPORT
*DISCLAIMER: National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE Chase Logan Chase Logan is a graduate of Georgetown Law and current Washington insider. Chase works the Hill tirelessly in search of the next "Big Scoop" and has been the first to break some of the most salacious of DC stories from sexual indescretions to executivecover-ups.
35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings. After sp GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
STUDY SHOWS TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19.. The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon. SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable energy, but that they are also draining the sun of its own energy, possibly with catastrophic TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTER Chase Logan Chase Logan is a graduate of Georgetown Law and current Washington insider. Chase works the Hill tirelessly in search of the next "Big Scoop" and has been the first to break some of the most salacious of DC stories from sexual indescretions to executivecover-ups.
STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAH “Sex In The City” star Sarah Jessica Parker has been booked for the leading role in director Gus Van Sant’s upcoming biopic “Trifecta,” which will tell the story of American Pharoah, the first race horse to win the Triple Crown since 1978.NATIONAL REPORT
*DISCLAIMER: National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE Chase Logan Chase Logan is a graduate of Georgetown Law and current Washington insider. Chase works the Hill tirelessly in search of the next "Big Scoop" and has been the first to break some of the most salacious of DC stories from sexual indescretions to executivecover-ups.
35-YEAR-OLD MAN SUES HIS MOTHER AFTER BEING EVICTED FROM Duane Hollingsworth shuffles around the cramped confines of his temporary home–a tiny 5th wheel trailer filled with boxes containing clothes, personal effects, and other meager belongings. After sp GRAFFITI ARTIST BANKSY ARRESTED IN LONDON; IDENTITY London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police.After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally beenrevealed.
STUDY SHOWS TEEN PREGNANCY DROPS SIGNIFICANTLY AFTER AGE A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19.. The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon. SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY This week, a scientific research facility in Wyoming made a startling discovery that is certain to change the way millions of Americans look at the environmentalism movement, after they found conclusive evidence that solar panels not only convert the sun’s energy into usable energy, but that they are also draining the sun of its own energy, possibly with catastrophic TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTER Chase Logan Chase Logan is a graduate of Georgetown Law and current Washington insider. Chase works the Hill tirelessly in search of the next "Big Scoop" and has been the first to break some of the most salacious of DC stories from sexual indescretions to executivecover-ups.
STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. SARAH JESSICA PARKER LANDS LEAD ROLE IN AMERICAN PHAROAH “Sex In The City” star Sarah Jessica Parker has been booked for the leading role in director Gus Van Sant’s upcoming biopic “Trifecta,” which will tell the story of American Pharoah, the first race horse to win the Triple Crown since 1978. CONTRIBUTE | NATIONAL REPORT National Report is always seeking talented writers and/or compelling content. If you are interested in becoming part of the National Report family, please complete the questions below and submit the form forconsideration.
‘WOUNDED SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR PROJECT’ REBUILDS HOPE 05 30 2021 Headline: . Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose; Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing STUDY CLAIMS WOMEN ABANDON FEMINISM AFTER FINDING Jane M. Agni Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report.Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more. TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS According to multiple inside sources with absolutely no knowledge of the subject, the Trump Administration is looking to rollback a 1992 law regulating the pressure of golden showers to more than 2.5 gallons of urine per minute. DISCLAIMER | NATIONAL REPORT National Report is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within National Report DARK ALLEY DAN AND THE BAD BAD MAN It seems as if George Zimmerman has found a new calling in life. One that could possibly restore his tainted public image and help children around the world to avoid situations similar to the one that cost Trayvon Martin his life. OBAMA USES OWN MONEY TO OPEN MUSLIM MUSEUM AMID … 05 24 2021 Headline: . Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Sense of Purpose; Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, During Golf Outing MILLIONS MOURN AS ROCKER/ACTIVIST TED NUGENT, AGE 71 Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early, spread quickly, and sent shock waves throughout the rock and roll community and the Republican Party, where Nugent, 71, is well-known for his fierce advocacy for conservative causes, unwavering support for the rights of gun owners and hunters, and ferocious TRUMP PAINTS HIMSELF INTO A CORNER IN OVAL OFFICE Image Source: Flikr. Donald J. Trump, fresh from a second contentious Oval Office meeting with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, wasted no time blaming both Democrats for the breakdown in negotiations designed to bring an end to the federal government’s shutdown, now entering its third week. MAN SHOUTS ‘ALLAHU AKBAR!’ BEFORE PHOTOBOMB Shane Paulson Shane Paulson is a pioneer in the field of mobile journalism. Logging millions of miles in his heavily modified Volkswagen Bug camper, Shane has06052021Headline:
* Trump Admin to Deregulate Pressure of Golden Showers * ‘Wounded Social Justice Warrior Project’ Rebuilds Hope; Senseof Purpose
* Trump Shoots World Record 39 Under Par, 12 Holes-in-One, DuringGolf Outing
* Trump University Study Finds Correlation Between Menthol Cigarettes and Voter Fraud * Trump Administration to Launch “Black Beans Matter” Campaign * Jared Kushner’s Dick Sued by Pencil Company Over Brand Confusion * Virginia Officials Embrace Blackface History Month * Trump Paints Himself Into A Corner in Oval Office * Trump White House Prepares Pardons for Two Jive-Ass Turkeys * Alex Jones Suggests Flying False Flag at Half-Staff for ShootingVictims
* 5 Great Ways To Entertain Guests During Your ThanksgivingCelebration
* Study Claims Women Abandon Feminism After Finding Meaningful Relationships With Men * 5 New Reasons To Be Unhappy With Your Vagina * Christopher Plummer to Play Role of Roy Moore in Alabama SenateRace
* 35-Year-Old Man Sues His Mother After Being Evicted From BasementOf Her Home
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TROJAN NAME NEW ULTRA-THIN SKIN CONDOM AFTER DONALD TRUMP 5 years ago | 9 comments*
GREATEST HITS
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‘WOUNDED SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR PROJECT’ REBUILDS HOPE; SENSE OFPURPOSE
11 months ago | 0 comment Prudence Bradley, 19, found it difficult to put into words what she experienced during her days as a social justice warrior. She didn’thave to.
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TRUMP TO NOMINATE CHRIS CHRISTIE TO SUPREME FOOD COURT 5 years ago | 3 comments TRUMP TOWER – President-Elect Donald J. Trump has reportedly assured NJ Governor Chris Christie that, despite recent reports, he has not been banished*
MAN SHOUTS ‘ALLAHU AKBAR!’ BEFORE PHOTOBOMB 5 years ago | 1 comment Amsterdam, Netherlands – According to Dutch police, a crazed man detonated a devastating photobomb on an unsuspecting newlywed couplevisiting
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AREA MALL OFFERING 10% DISCOUNT TO NON-ACTIVE SHOOTERS 5 years ago | 3 comments Appleton, WI – The Fox Valley Mall has come under fire (pun intended) for an ad placed in Sunday’s Press Gazette newspaper offering a mall-wide*
FLINT TAP WATER RATED MORE TRUSTWORTHY THAN HILLARY CLINTON 5 years ago | 3 comments A new survey released today from the Make Michigan Great Again PAC shows that residents across the state rated Flint tap water higher on the ‘Trustworthiness’*
MAN SHOUTS ‘ALLAHU AKBAR’ BEFORE BLOWING UP FRIEND’S INBOX 5 years ago | 0 comment De Pere, WI – A Wisconsin man is resting comfortably after an explosion rocked his inbox late Saturday afternoon. The blast occurredat approximately
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TROJAN NAME NEW ULTRA-THIN SKIN CONDOM AFTER DONALD TRUMP 5 years ago | 9 comments Trojan, the world leader in modern condom technology, announced today the company has developed the world’s thinnest-skin condom to date,and will
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CANADA OFFERS TO BUILD WALL AROUND BRISTOL PALIN’S VAGINAL CAVITY 5 years ago | 3 comments TORONTO – A northern firestorm erupted earlier today when an off-the-record comment made by Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeauwas leaked to
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SARAH PALIN BANS MUSLIMS FROM ENTERING BRISTOL PALIN 5 years ago | 58 comments Wasilla, AK – Conservative superstar Sarah Palin says she supports Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump’s call fora ban on
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MILLIONS MOURN AS ROCKER/ACTIVIST TED NUGENT, AGE 71, FOUND ALIVE 6 years ago | 158 comments Millions of Americans are in mourning after news broke this afternoon that rocker/activist Ted Nugent was still alive. Word broke early,spread quickly,
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WOMAN COMES FORWARD WITH SHOCKING ALLEGATION: “I WAS NOT RAPED BYBILL COSBY”
6 years ago | 15 commentsBill
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SOLAR PANELS DRAIN THE SUN’S ENERGY, EXPERTS SAY 7 years ago | 1,886 commentsmillions
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Politics
TRUMP ADMIN TO DEREGULATE PRESSURE OF GOLDEN SHOWERS 10 months ago | 0 comment*
Greatest Hits
‘WOUNDED SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR PROJECT’ REBUILDS HOPE; SENSE OFPURPOSE
11 months ago | 0 comment* Sports
TRUMP SHOOTS WORLD RECORD 39 UNDER PAR, 12 HOLES-IN-ONE, DURING GOLFOUTING
11 months ago | 2 comments*
Politics
TRUMP UNIVERSITY STUDY FINDS CORRELATION BETWEEN MENTHOL CIGARETTESAND VOTER FRAUD
11 months ago | 1 comment*
Crime
TRUMP ADMINISTRATION TO LAUNCH “BLACK BEANS MATTER” CAMPAIGN 11 months ago | 0 comment*
Business
JARED KUSHNER’S DICK SUED BY PENCIL COMPANY OVER BRAND CONFUSION 11 months ago | 2 comments SUBSCRIBE TO NATIONAL REPORT Enter your email address to subscribe to National Report and receive notifications of new posts by email.Email Address
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