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A.A. Milne,
GRIEF HEALING: COPING WITH GRIEF IN THE SECOND YEAR The notion that the first year of grief is the hardest, and the time when support is needed most, is a common misconception.There is nothing magical about getting through that first year without the physical presence of your loved one ~ it simply means that you’ve managed to get through your first four seasons of grief, with all its special days (that is, the first birthday, first wedding GRIEF HEALING: COMPLICATED GRIEF: MOURNING AN ABUSIVE MOTHER Complicated Grief: Mourning an Abusive Mother. A reader writes: Two weeks ago, my mother died of metastatic cancer. We had a strained relationship our entire life together. Growing up she could be very cruel to me, and that is what ensued as I tried to care for her. Before her illness, we hadn’t spoken in almost 3 years, but I wantedto be
GRIEF HEALING: SURVIVING A SPOUSE'S DEATH BY SUICIDE There are always two parties to a death; the person who dies and the survivors who are bereaved. ~ Arnold Toynbee, Historian A reader writes: I lost my husband to suicide last year and I am trying to cope. I am trying to move on, but I cannot do this alone anymore. GRIEF HEALING: IN GRIEF: RESPONDING TO "HOW ARE YOU?" Please see me through my tears. ~ Fernando Alvarez A reader writes: I work in a hospital and worked with hospice long ago but now I am on the other side of the fence. It is so very hard. Currently my partner is a patient in the hospital where I work. GRIEF HEALING: SURVIVING A CHILD'S HOMICIDE Surviving A Child's Homicide. When working with families and friends of people who have been murdered I find that the operative verb is never died but was killed . . . Being killed is seen as different from dying; it's unnatural, a form of theft, an act of taking something from you and your loved ones. What is taken is a person's life and all GRIEF HEALING: TAKING TIME TO MOURN A MOTHER'S DEATH Taking Time to Mourn a Mother's Death. A reader writes: I just lost my Mom three weeks ago. She had cancer which spread to her brain. The last year of her life was one of pain initially and then side effects from the chemo and radiation. During the last few months she also became confused due to the tumor pressing on her brain. GRIEF HEALING: PET EUTHANASIA GONE BAD Pet Euthanasia Gone Bad. Source. A reader writes: We put down our 14-year-old huskie at the vet today. She had bad arthitis in her hips and knees and a skin infection we couldn't clear up, but the big thing was she had anal gland cancer. They showed it to us a month ago, and said it was aggressive. GRIEF HEALING: REMARRIAGE IN WIDOWHOOD: HOW SOON IS TOO SOON? You know your father better than I do, and you and I can only guess what he may be thinking and feeling about all of this. I really don't know if "fessing up to him" about your feelings would help in this situation, as his loyalties may lie with his new wife more than with any concern about how his daughter is feeling right now. I am touched by your statement that the one person who could tell GRIEF HEALINGWELCOMEABOUT MARTY TOUSLEYABOUT GRIEF HEALINGTESTIMONIALSMARTY'S ARTICLES Understanding and Managing Grief, May 2 - May 8, 2021. Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: Jana Kramer hosted an emotional and honest episode of her podcast, where she talked about the grief she feels from ending her marriage. On Grief After Divorce GRIEF HEALING: COPING WITH DREAMS IN GRIEF I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time. ~A.A. Milne,
GRIEF HEALING: COPING WITH GRIEF IN THE SECOND YEAR The notion that the first year of grief is the hardest, and the time when support is needed most, is a common misconception.There is nothing magical about getting through that first year without the physical presence of your loved one ~ it simply means that you’ve managed to get through your first four seasons of grief, with all its special days (that is, the first birthday, first wedding GRIEF HEALING: COMPLICATED GRIEF: MOURNING AN ABUSIVE MOTHER Complicated Grief: Mourning an Abusive Mother. A reader writes: Two weeks ago, my mother died of metastatic cancer. We had a strained relationship our entire life together. Growing up she could be very cruel to me, and that is what ensued as I tried to care for her. Before her illness, we hadn’t spoken in almost 3 years, but I wantedto be
GRIEF HEALING: SURVIVING A SPOUSE'S DEATH BY SUICIDE There are always two parties to a death; the person who dies and the survivors who are bereaved. ~ Arnold Toynbee, Historian A reader writes: I lost my husband to suicide last year and I am trying to cope. I am trying to move on, but I cannot do this alone anymore. GRIEF HEALING: IN GRIEF: RESPONDING TO "HOW ARE YOU?" Please see me through my tears. ~ Fernando Alvarez A reader writes: I work in a hospital and worked with hospice long ago but now I am on the other side of the fence. It is so very hard. Currently my partner is a patient in the hospital where I work. GRIEF HEALING: SURVIVING A CHILD'S HOMICIDE Surviving A Child's Homicide. When working with families and friends of people who have been murdered I find that the operative verb is never died but was killed . . . Being killed is seen as different from dying; it's unnatural, a form of theft, an act of taking something from you and your loved ones. What is taken is a person's life and all GRIEF HEALING: TAKING TIME TO MOURN A MOTHER'S DEATH Taking Time to Mourn a Mother's Death. A reader writes: I just lost my Mom three weeks ago. She had cancer which spread to her brain. The last year of her life was one of pain initially and then side effects from the chemo and radiation. During the last few months she also became confused due to the tumor pressing on her brain. GRIEF HEALING: PET EUTHANASIA GONE BAD Pet Euthanasia Gone Bad. Source. A reader writes: We put down our 14-year-old huskie at the vet today. She had bad arthitis in her hips and knees and a skin infection we couldn't clear up, but the big thing was she had anal gland cancer. They showed it to us a month ago, and said it was aggressive. GRIEF HEALING: REMARRIAGE IN WIDOWHOOD: HOW SOON IS TOO SOON? You know your father better than I do, and you and I can only guess what he may be thinking and feeling about all of this. I really don't know if "fessing up to him" about your feelings would help in this situation, as his loyalties may lie with his new wife more than with any concern about how his daughter is feeling right now. I am touched by your statement that the one person who could tellGRIEF HEALING
Understanding and Managing Grief, May 2 - May 8, 2021. Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week: Jana Kramer hosted an emotional and honest episode of her podcast, where she talked about the grief she feels from ending her marriage. On Grief After Divorce GRIEF HEALING: JUNE 2021 A reader writes: I know you've worked with people who've lost pets and I'm just wondering: Do you follow any particular belief system or religious point of view when it comes to animals?Such as Native American belief in the spirit of all things, or the Celtic belief in pets as familiars or any esoteric school of thought? GRIEF HEALING: GRIEF IN THE SECOND YEAR: FINDING YOUR WAY If you find yourself (or someone you know) struggling with new waves of grief after having reached the one year mark, you are not alone. Awoman whose husband
GRIEF HEALING: REPLACING A PET WHO HAS DIED: WHEN IS IT TIME? Replacing A Pet Who Has Died: When Is It Time? Source. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round withhobbies
GRIEF HEALING: SURVIVING A CHILD'S HOMICIDE Surviving A Child's Homicide. When working with families and friends of people who have been murdered I find that the operative verb is never died but was killed . . . Being killed is seen as different from dying; it's unnatural, a form of theft, an act of taking something from you and your loved ones. What is taken is a person's life and all GRIEF HEALING: WHEN MOTHER’S DAY HURTS: SELECTED RESOURCES When Mother’s Day Hurts: Selected Resources. Source. God could not be everywhere, and therefore He made mothers ~ Rudyard Kipling. While it may be a special day for many, Mother's Day is a holiday that challenges the endurance of motherless children, as well as mothers and grandmothers whosechildren or
GRIEF HEALING: THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE IN GRIEF Remember, though, that there is a vast difference between thinking about suicide and actually acting upon such thoughts. In grief, thoughts of suicide are usually fleeting and reflect how desperately you want the pain of loss to end. You say you have children who don't deserve to lose another parent, so a part of you knows that suicide isnot
GRIEF HEALING: TO MOVE OR NOT? MAKING DECISIONS IN THE Usually it is wise to avoid making hasty decisions, especially in matters of such consequence as moving. If you and your wife feel compelled to make a quick decision to move, I offer this useful rule of thumb: Make no major decisions for at least six to twelve months after this death, until you've experienced all the seasons of youremotions.
GRIEF HEALING: PET LOSS: GUILT IN THE WAKE OF THE I'd especially recommend that you read some of the Related Articles I've listed below, as I think they address a lot of what you are experiencing now.I also invite you to participate in our online Loss of a Pet Forum, even if it’s only to read some of the other messages posted there.I know you will discover that you are not alone in what you are feeling, and you will avail yourself of some GRIEF HEALING: REMARRIAGE IN WIDOWHOOD: HOW SOON IS TOO SOON? You know your father better than I do, and you and I can only guess what he may be thinking and feeling about all of this. I really don't know if "fessing up to him" about your feelings would help in this situation, as his loyalties may lie with his new wife more than with any concern about how his daughter is feeling right now. I am touched by your statement that the one person who could tell GRIEF HEALINGWELCOMEABOUT MARTY TOUSLEYABOUT GRIEF HEALINGTESTIMONIALSMARTY'S ARTICLES I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time. ~ A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh A reader writes: I'm pretty sure there are a lot of topics about this but I wanted to ask if others have these really vivid dreams in which their lost loved one was still alive, but after waking up you realize she's not there anymore. GRIEF HEALING: COPING WITH DREAMS IN GRIEF I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time. ~A.A. Milne,
GRIEF HEALING: COPING WITH GRIEF IN THE SECOND YEAR The notion that the first year of grief is the hardest, and the time when support is needed most, is a common misconception.There is nothing magical about getting through that first year without the physical presence of your loved one ~ it simply means that you’ve managed to get through your first four seasons of grief, with all its special days (that is, the first birthday, first wedding GRIEF HEALING: PET LOSS: PTSD FOLLOWING EUTHANASIA DECISION? Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really. ~ Agnes Sligh Turnbull A reader writes: After agonizing over this decision, I decided my beloved 16-year-old dog was no longer able to live without suffering, and I had him euthanized at home.This of course was thebeginning of
GRIEF HEALING: COMPLICATED GRIEF: MOURNING AN ABUSIVE MOTHER A reader writes: Two weeks ago, my mother died of metastatic cancer. We had a strained relationship our entire life together. Growing up she could be very cruel to me, and that is what ensued as I tried tocare for her.
GRIEF HEALING: IN GRIEF: RESPONDING TO "HOW ARE YOU?" Please see me through my tears. ~ Fernando Alvarez A reader writes: I work in a hospital and worked with hospice long ago but now I am on the other side of the fence. It is so very hard. Currently my partner is a patient in the hospital where I work. GRIEF HEALING: TAKING TIME TO MOURN A MOTHER'S DEATH A reader writes: I just lost my Mom three weeks ago. She had cancer which spread to her brain. The last year of her life was one of pain initially and then side effects from the chemo and radiation. GRIEF HEALING: SURVIVING A SPOUSE'S DEATH BY SUICIDE There are always two parties to a death; the person who dies and the survivors who are bereaved. ~ Arnold Toynbee, Historian A reader writes: I lost my husband to suicide last year and I am trying to cope. I am trying to move on, but I cannot do this alone anymore. GRIEF HEALING: THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE IN GRIEF If you still find yourself continually thinking of suicide, read this first.And if you are experiencing serious suicidal thoughts that you cannot control, please stop now and telephone 911 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255).Using your smart phone, you can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.If you are outside of the U.S., please visit the GRIEF HEALING: PET EUTHANASIA GONE BAD A reader writes: We put down our 14-year-old huskie at the vet today. She had bad arthitis in her hips and knees and a skin infection we couldn't clear up, but the big thing was she had anal gland cancer. GRIEF HEALINGWELCOMEABOUT MARTY TOUSLEYABOUT GRIEF HEALINGTESTIMONIALSMARTY'S ARTICLES I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time. ~ A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh A reader writes: I'm pretty sure there are a lot of topics about this but I wanted to ask if others have these really vivid dreams in which their lost loved one was still alive, but after waking up you realize she's not there anymore. GRIEF HEALING: COPING WITH DREAMS IN GRIEF I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time. ~A.A. Milne,
GRIEF HEALING: COPING WITH GRIEF IN THE SECOND YEAR The notion that the first year of grief is the hardest, and the time when support is needed most, is a common misconception.There is nothing magical about getting through that first year without the physical presence of your loved one ~ it simply means that you’ve managed to get through your first four seasons of grief, with all its special days (that is, the first birthday, first wedding GRIEF HEALING: PET LOSS: PTSD FOLLOWING EUTHANASIA DECISION? Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really. ~ Agnes Sligh Turnbull A reader writes: After agonizing over this decision, I decided my beloved 16-year-old dog was no longer able to live without suffering, and I had him euthanized at home.This of course was thebeginning of
GRIEF HEALING: COMPLICATED GRIEF: MOURNING AN ABUSIVE MOTHER A reader writes: Two weeks ago, my mother died of metastatic cancer. We had a strained relationship our entire life together. Growing up she could be very cruel to me, and that is what ensued as I tried tocare for her.
GRIEF HEALING: IN GRIEF: RESPONDING TO "HOW ARE YOU?" Please see me through my tears. ~ Fernando Alvarez A reader writes: I work in a hospital and worked with hospice long ago but now I am on the other side of the fence. It is so very hard. Currently my partner is a patient in the hospital where I work. GRIEF HEALING: TAKING TIME TO MOURN A MOTHER'S DEATH A reader writes: I just lost my Mom three weeks ago. She had cancer which spread to her brain. The last year of her life was one of pain initially and then side effects from the chemo and radiation. GRIEF HEALING: SURVIVING A SPOUSE'S DEATH BY SUICIDE There are always two parties to a death; the person who dies and the survivors who are bereaved. ~ Arnold Toynbee, Historian A reader writes: I lost my husband to suicide last year and I am trying to cope. I am trying to move on, but I cannot do this alone anymore. GRIEF HEALING: THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE IN GRIEF If you still find yourself continually thinking of suicide, read this first.And if you are experiencing serious suicidal thoughts that you cannot control, please stop now and telephone 911 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255).Using your smart phone, you can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.If you are outside of the U.S., please visit the GRIEF HEALING: PET EUTHANASIA GONE BAD A reader writes: We put down our 14-year-old huskie at the vet today. She had bad arthitis in her hips and knees and a skin infection we couldn't clear up, but the big thing was she had anal gland cancer. GRIEF HEALING: JUNE 2021 A reader writes: I know you've worked with people who've lost pets and I'm just wondering: Do you follow any particular belief system or religious point of view when it comes to animals?Such as Native American belief in the spirit of all things, or the Celtic belief in pets as familiars or any esoteric school of thought? GRIEF HEALING: SURVIVING A SPOUSE'S DEATH BY SUICIDE There are always two parties to a death; the person who dies and the survivors who are bereaved. ~ Arnold Toynbee, Historian A reader writes: I lost my husband to suicide last year and I am trying to cope. I am trying to move on, but I cannot do this alone anymore. GRIEF HEALING: IN GRIEF: RESPONDING TO "HOW ARE YOU?" Please see me through my tears. ~ Fernando Alvarez A reader writes: I work in a hospital and worked with hospice long ago but now I am on the other side of the fence. It is so very hard. Currently my partner is a patient in the hospital where I work. GRIEF HEALING: STARTING A SUPPORT GROUP: SUGGESTED RESOURCES To know the road ahead, ask those who are coming back. ~ Chinese Proverb A reader writes: Do you have any ideas/resources for starting a parent support group? I live in a very small town. We have recently had several of our young people pass away, including my own son who was killed in an auto accident on Mother’s Day of this year. GRIEF HEALING: GUILT AND REGRET FOLLOWING THE DEATH OF A Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~ Maria Robinson A reader writes: Do you have any articles or can you suggest a book that will be helpful to me? I lost a long time friend. GRIEF HEALING: GUILT IN THE WAKE OF A PARENT'S DEATH A reader writes: My mother died in her sleep and I feel like I’m starting to lose it. I just can't stop thinking about what happened. She was in her early 60s, had high blood pressure and was a smoker. GRIEF HEALING: WHEN MOTHER’S DAY HURTS: SELECTED RESOURCES God could not be everywhere, and therefore He made mothers ~ Rudyard Kipling While it may be a special day for many, Mother's Day is a holiday that challenges the endurance of motherless children, as well as mothers and grandmothers whose children or grandchildren have died. GRIEF HEALING: TO MOVE OR NOT? MAKING DECISIONS IN THE A reader writes: Two months ago we lost our 18-year-old son in a traffic accident just two blocks from our home. He was driving alone. We are talking about moving because my wife can't drive by the intersection anymore and does not feel comfortable in the home. GRIEF HEALING: PARENT LOSS: GRIEVING AN ELDERLY MOTHER A reader writes: Yesterday was the 4th month anniversary of my Mom's death. I still feel that after this time I have not fully grieved over her, or that if I do, I will not emerge from the pit of despair. IN GRIEF: IS DAD DATING TOO SOON AFTER MOTHER'S DEATH? A reader writes: My mother passed away last May and Dad started dating again three months after mom's death. He is now serious with a lady he met online. On the one hand, I am happy that he is happy again, as he was married to my mom for 45 years and it was a shock to everyone when she died five months after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer. skip to main | skip to sidebarPAGES
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* Voices of Experience * Grief Bibliography SUNDAY, JUNE 6, 2021 UNDERSTANDING AND MANAGING GRIEF, MAY 30 - JUNE 5, 2021__
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__Best
selections from GRIEF HEALING'S TWITTER STREAMthis week:_
_Loneliness and isolation are a giant cause of suffering for grieving people. Try these five tips on how to cope with the loneliness of grief._ Five Ways to Manage Your Grief and LonelinessRefuge
In Grief
_A core set of principles separate those who make good and bad policy decisions._ OP-ED: WILL THE REAL COVID EXPERTS PLEASE STAND UP?MedPage Today
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Posted by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT on June 06, 20210 Comments
Labels: anticipatory grief,
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MONDAY, MAY 31, 2021 COPING WITH DREAMS IN GRIEF _I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time. _~ A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh A READER WRITES: _I'm pretty sure there are a lot of topics about this but I wanted to ask if others have these really vivid dreams in which their lost loved one was still alive, but after waking up you realize she's not there anymore. How do you deal with that and when did the dreams go away? __The dreams are strangely comforting but the feeling when you wake up is just devastating.___
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Posted by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT on May 31, 20210 Comments
Labels: dream work
, dreams
, father loss
, Joshua
Black ,
T.J. Wray
SUNDAY, MAY 30, 2021 UNDERSTANDING AND MANAGING GRIEF, MAY 23 - MAY 29, 2021__
_
__Best
selections from GRIEF HEALING'S TWITTER STREAMthis week:_
_We may not travel to Washington D.C. this Memorial Day, but we can take time to pause and remember, to honor the fallen in our own individual and personal ways, and most especially to extend our heartfelt gratitude to the precious members of their families who mourn their losses each and every day._ Memorial DayGrief Healing
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Posted by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT on May 30, 20210 Comments
Labels: EMDR ,
grief ,
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, Memorial
Day ,
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PROGRESS
__
_
__If
you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them. _~ Michael Bassey Johnson A READER WRITES: _I am presently not doing as well as I did in the past, I think it is because I think about this time last year and I was still in my old house caring for my parents until they both died, and now I am in the new one, and I guess I am just missing the old one a little bit… I still miss mom and dad but I think a lot of it is because I am lonely and think of them as my family and now I feel I have no one. The reason I am writing to you is to ask if you could help me with a problem I have. I am scared to death to learn how todrive... _
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Posted by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT on May 24, 20212 Comments
Labels: driving
, emancipation
, grief
, independence
, parent
loss ,
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support
SUNDAY, MAY 23, 2021 UNDERSTANDING AND MANAGING GRIEF, MAY 16 - MAY 22, 2021__
_
__Best
selections from GRIEF HEALING'S TWITTER STREAMthis week:_
_Originally designated as a day “to cherish tenderly the memory of our heroic dead,” MEMORIAL DAY is held on the last Monday of May each year. The holiday offers us a great opportunity to recognize and honor the sacrifice of these dedicated service members and their families._ MAKING THE MOST OFMEMORIAL DAY
Grief Healing
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Posted by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT on May 23, 20210 Comments
Labels: COVID-19
, grief
, Memorial Day
,
Religion and Spirituality,
GRIEVING HEARTS
page seemed
to point people to God and Heaven. I was curious, are you a Christian, and do your books and writings dealing with coping, also point to God as our greatest source of comfort? We lost my dad earlier this year, and my brother-in-law last week. My family is definitely hurting, and just wanted to know a little bit more about you and your books -- if you don't mind to share?_ CLICK HERE TO READ MORE>>> AddThisShare FacebookTwitter Email
Posted by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT on May 17, 20214 Comments
Labels: faith ,
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Religion and Spirituality SUNDAY, MAY 16, 2021 UNDERSTANDING AND MANAGING GRIEF, MAY 9 - MAY 15, 2021__
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__Best
selections from GRIEF HEALING'S TWITTER STREAMthis week:_
_My friend died when we were in ninth grade. He had cancer. He was sick over a year and I knew he probably wouldn’t make it, but his death hit me hard._ It's important to understand grief is part ofloss
Observer-Reporter
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Posted by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT on May 16, 20210 Comments
Labels: book ,
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, gratitude
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, mother loss
,
Religion and Spirituality,
Twitter Email
Posted by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT on May 10, 20210 Comments
Labels: birthday
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SUNDAY, MAY 9, 2021
UNDERSTANDING AND MANAGING GRIEF, MAY 2 - MAY 8, 2021__
_
__Best
selections from GRIEF HEALING'S TWITTER STREAMthis week:_
_Jana Kramer hosted an emotional and honest episode of her podcast, where she talked about the grief she feels from ending her marriage._ ON GRIEF AFTER DIVORCE Sounds Like Nashville _Nearly 30 years ago, Carol Smith lost her son. This year, her mother died. As old and new grief collide, this is what she's learned._ On Mother's Day Grief: Closure Is A MythTODAY
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Posted by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT on May 09, 20210 Comments
Labels: child loss
, divorce
, grief
, lessons
, mother loss
,
Mother's Day
,
nature , tips
, traditions
, widowers
MONDAY, MAY 3, 2021
IN GRIEF: A LOVELY TRADITION ON MOTHER'S DAY__
_
__Mother’s
love is bliss, is peace, it need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. If it is there, it is like a blessing; if it is not there, it is as if all the beauty had gone out of life. _~ Erich Fromm A READER WRITES: _I just lost my mom a month ago. We had only known for 6 weeks that she had lung cancer. Let me tell you, those six weeks were short. She had just started the chemo treatments. I still can not believe she is gone ~ especially when I think about my first Mother'sDay without her._
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Posted by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT on May 03, 20210 Comments
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May. 07th - Jun. 07th GRIEF HEALING ON PINTEREST Marty TousleyGrief HealingFollow On 2009-2021 by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, BC-TMH Contact: tousleym@aol.com On Facebook: GriefHealing On Twitter: @GriefHealing On Pinterest: Marty TousleyDetails
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