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THIS IS A JOKE TOLD BY DAVE ALLEN ON ONE OF HIS SHOWS the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He. gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there. A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar and decides. to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He, too, falls into that open graveand tries to
LADY NANCY ASTOR: "WINSTON, IF YOU WERE MY HUSBAND, I'D Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, If You Were My Husband, I'd Put Poison In Your Coffee. "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee." "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it." disguise she would recommend for him. She replied, "Why don't you come. MY NOOKIE DAYS ARE OVER- MY PILOT LIGHT IS OUT, WHAT USED My nookie days are over-my pilot light is out, what used to be my sex appeal-is now my water spout. Time was when of its own record-from my trousers it would spring, A FARM BOY WAS OUT BEHIND THE BARN PLAYING WITH HIS A farm boy was out behind the barn playing with his manhood, when his father came around the corner and saw him. "What you doin boy?" saysthe old man.
BASEBALL ANALOGIES FOR SEX Standardized Guide to the Bases! On Deck - Having plans for a date. Strike-Out - Duh!! Walk - Kissing. Bunt - Masturbation. Single - Tongue kissing. Double - Breasts/chest touched, some clothes off, lots of grabbing and. feels. Triple - Most of the clothes off, genital contact, mutual masturbation. DIRTY NURSERY RHYMES Dirty Nursery Rhymes. Abraham Lincoln was a good old man. He hopped out the window with his Dick in hand. so why not pull down your pants and give me some booty." Mary Mary quite contrary shaved her pussy cause it was so damn hairy. and pass it to a friend. to have a little fun. and now they have a son. 28 OF THE WORLD'S BIGGEST LIES... 1. THE CHECK IS IN THE MAIL. 28 of the World's Biggest Lies 1. The check is in the mail. 2. I'll respect you in the morning. 3. I'm from your government, and I am here to help you. 4. It's only a cold sore. LADYS AND GENTLEMEN: I STAND BEFORE AND SIT BEHIND YOU TO Ladys and Gentlemen: I stand before and sit behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Thier will be a meeting tommorrow morning, right after lunch HEAVEN IS WHERE THE POLICE ARE BRITISH, THE COOKS ARE Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss. Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the A BEAR WALKS INTO A BAR AND ASKS FOR A BEER. A bear walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve no beer to no bears in this bar. The bear asksagain and is
THIS IS A JOKE TOLD BY DAVE ALLEN ON ONE OF HIS SHOWS the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He. gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there. A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar and decides. to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He, too, falls into that open graveand tries to
MY NOOKIE DAYS ARE OVER- MY PILOT LIGHT IS OUT, WHAT USED My nookie days are over-my pilot light is out, what used to be my sex appeal-is now my water spout. Time was when of its own record-from my trousers it would spring, LADY NANCY ASTOR: "WINSTON, IF YOU WERE MY HUSBAND, I'D Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, If You Were My Husband, I'd Put Poison In Your Coffee. "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee." "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it." disguise she would recommend for him. She replied, "Why don't you come. A FARM BOY WAS OUT BEHIND THE BARN PLAYING WITH HIS A farm boy was out behind the barn playing with his manhood, when his father came around the corner and saw him. "What you doin boy?" saysthe old man.
BASEBALL ANALOGIES FOR SEX Standardized Guide to the Bases! On Deck - Having plans for a date. Strike-Out - Duh!! Walk - Kissing. Bunt - Masturbation. Single - Tongue kissing. Double - Breasts/chest touched, some clothes off, lots of grabbing and. feels. Triple - Most of the clothes off, genital contact, mutual masturbation. DIRTY NURSERY RHYMES Dirty Nursery Rhymes. Abraham Lincoln was a good old man. He hopped out the window with his Dick in hand. so why not pull down your pants and give me some booty." Mary Mary quite contrary shaved her pussy cause it was so damn hairy. and pass it to a friend. to have a little fun. and now they have a son. ANCIENT TORTURE TOOLS better, your cravings will naturally subside and you'll be reaping. some great benefits of reducing the sugar within your diet. Yoga: this ancient system of breathing and stretching postures has become. seen to provide reduced the multiple chronic disorders that plague. mostseniors.
FOREST PERSONALITY TEST grey/brown - your partner is only average in your. heart. black - your partner doesn't seem to be good in your. heart and appears to be bad sign. (14) Horse action: still and quiet/nibbling grass - your partner is a. very homely and humble person. running about - your partner is awild type person.
39 CREATIVE WAYS TO SAY SOMEONE IS STUPID 39 Creative Ways To Say Someone Is Stupid. A few clowns short of a circus. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. Dumber than a box of hair. A few peas short of a casserole. Doesn't have all her cornflakesFUNNY BILLBOARD ADS
A Fantastic Collection. The most beautiful Russian women: Strange Statues: Persian Models: Ugliest Dog in the World MISCELLANEOUS COLLECTIONS You won't learn much about capitalism at a university. How could you? Capitalism is a matter of risks and rewards, and a tenured professor doesn't have much to do with either. MISCELLANEOUS COLLECTIONS BOOKKEEPERS are well balanced. Bookkeepers do it for the record. Bookkeepers do it with double entry. Book lovers are thought by unbookish people to be gentle and MISCELLANEOUS COLLECTIONS Remember, to a computer 1 + 1 = 10. Remember, today could just as easily be the LAST day of the rest of your life. -- Solomon Sho; Remember to end each sentence with a period -- GUY JOKES MAN TO GOD: "GOD, WHY DID YOU MAKE WOMAN SO Home › Short Jokes › Jokes from Emails. Guy Jokes. Man to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God to Man: "So you would love her." "But God", Man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God replies: "So she would love you." God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before. creating a masterpiece. MISCELLANEOUS COLLECTIONS Remember there's an "if" in the middle of life. Remember, there's more to life than science fiction, but not much; Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.JARGON FILE
hirsute adj. Occasionally used humorously as a synonym for hairy. HLL/H-L-L/ n. Found
primarily in email and news rather than speech. 28 OF THE WORLD'S BIGGEST LIES... 1. THE CHECK IS IN THE MAIL. 28 of the World's Biggest Lies 1. The check is in the mail. 2. I'll respect you in the morning. 3. I'm from your government, and I am here to help you. 4. It's only a cold sore. LADYS AND GENTLEMEN: I STAND BEFORE AND SIT BEHIND YOU TO Ladys and Gentlemen: I stand before and sit behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Thier will be a meeting tommorrow morning, right after lunch HEAVEN IS WHERE THE POLICE ARE BRITISH, THE COOKS ARE Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss. Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the HERE ARE SOME PHRASES USED TO REMEMBER SIN, COS, AND TAN. Related: Here is a conversion chart taken from The Bent of Tau Beta Pi Spring 1988. Reprinted without permission. 10**12 Microphones = 1 Megaphone 10**6 bicycles = 2 megacycles 500 millinaries = 1 seminary 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds 10 cards = 1 decacards 1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn 10**-6 fish = 1 microfiche 453. THIS IS A JOKE TOLD BY DAVE ALLEN ON ONE OF HIS SHOWS the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He. gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there. A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar and decides. to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He, too, falls into that open graveand tries to
GUY JOKES MAN TO GOD: "GOD, WHY DID YOU MAKE WOMAN SO Home › Short Jokes › Jokes from Emails. Guy Jokes. Man to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God to Man: "So you would love her." "But God", Man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God replies: "So she would love you." God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before. creating a masterpiece. LADY NANCY ASTOR: "WINSTON, IF YOU WERE MY HUSBAND, I'D Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, If You Were My Husband, I'd Put Poison In Your Coffee. "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee." "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it." disguise she would recommend for him. She replied, "Why don't you come. A FARM BOY WAS OUT BEHIND THE BARN PLAYING WITH HIS A farm boy was out behind the barn playing with his manhood, when his father came around the corner and saw him. "What you doin boy?" saysthe old man.
THERE WAS A GAY COUNTESS OF BRAY, AND YOU MAY THINK IT ODD There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when I say, That in spite of high station, Rank and education, She always spelledcunt with a "k".
DIRTY NURSERY RHYMES Dirty Nursery Rhymes. Abraham Lincoln was a good old man. He hopped out the window with his Dick in hand. so why not pull down your pants and give me some booty." Mary Mary quite contrary shaved her pussy cause it was so damn hairy. and pass it to a friend. to have a little fun. and now they have a son. 28 OF THE WORLD'S BIGGEST LIES... 1. THE CHECK IS IN THE MAIL. 28 of the World's Biggest Lies 1. The check is in the mail. 2. I'll respect you in the morning. 3. I'm from your government, and I am here to help you. 4. It's only a cold sore. LADYS AND GENTLEMEN: I STAND BEFORE AND SIT BEHIND YOU TO Ladys and Gentlemen: I stand before and sit behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Thier will be a meeting tommorrow morning, right after lunch HEAVEN IS WHERE THE POLICE ARE BRITISH, THE COOKS ARE Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss. Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the HERE ARE SOME PHRASES USED TO REMEMBER SIN, COS, AND TAN. Related: Here is a conversion chart taken from The Bent of Tau Beta Pi Spring 1988. Reprinted without permission. 10**12 Microphones = 1 Megaphone 10**6 bicycles = 2 megacycles 500 millinaries = 1 seminary 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds 10 cards = 1 decacards 1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn 10**-6 fish = 1 microfiche 453. THIS IS A JOKE TOLD BY DAVE ALLEN ON ONE OF HIS SHOWS the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He. gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there. A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar and decides. to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He, too, falls into that open graveand tries to
GUY JOKES MAN TO GOD: "GOD, WHY DID YOU MAKE WOMAN SO Home › Short Jokes › Jokes from Emails. Guy Jokes. Man to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God to Man: "So you would love her." "But God", Man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God replies: "So she would love you." God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before. creating a masterpiece. LADY NANCY ASTOR: "WINSTON, IF YOU WERE MY HUSBAND, I'D Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, If You Were My Husband, I'd Put Poison In Your Coffee. "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee." "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it." disguise she would recommend for him. She replied, "Why don't you come. A FARM BOY WAS OUT BEHIND THE BARN PLAYING WITH HIS A farm boy was out behind the barn playing with his manhood, when his father came around the corner and saw him. "What you doin boy?" saysthe old man.
THERE WAS A GAY COUNTESS OF BRAY, AND YOU MAY THINK IT ODD There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when I say, That in spite of high station, Rank and education, She always spelledcunt with a "k".
DIRTY NURSERY RHYMES Dirty Nursery Rhymes. Abraham Lincoln was a good old man. He hopped out the window with his Dick in hand. so why not pull down your pants and give me some booty." Mary Mary quite contrary shaved her pussy cause it was so damn hairy. and pass it to a friend. to have a little fun. and now they have a son. MISCELLANEOUS COLLECTIONS Remember, to them it is us who are the enemy -- N.F.Simpso; Remember to watch Deanna Troi & Cal in the new show: Deep Space 69; Remember: two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane, and three rights will get you onto the freeway. HOW TO WRITE A BULLETIN Welcome to Teach Yourself Bulletin-Writing! Here are some simple rules to. help you in the gentle art of bulletin-writing. TITLE/SUBJECT. -------------. This is very important, as it is the first thing that users will see of your. bulletin. Titles like "PLEASE READ" or "URGENT MESSAGE" are ideal, though. something like "A345/23 D cct wanted" is MISCELLANEOUS COLLECTIONS Remember, to a computer 1 + 1 = 10. Remember, today could just as easily be the LAST day of the rest of your life. -- Solomon Sho; Remember to end each sentence with a period -- FOUR THINGS COME NOT BACK: THE SPOKEN WORD, THE SPENT Related: Four things come not back: the spoken word, the spent arrow, the past, the neglected opportunity. Omar Idn Al-Halif An ancient prophet once said Four things come not back - a spent arrow, a spoken word, a past life, and a wasted opportunity. MISCELLANEOUS COLLECTIONS You would toss a drowning man both ends of a rope. You write with ease to show your breeding, But easy writing 's curst hard reading.-- Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751-1816) -- TAGLINES - ANVARI.ORG Republican: Only the same sh*t should happen. Reputation: what others are not thinking about you; Researcher's, where the info is! Resistance Is Useless! MISCELLANEOUS COLLECTIONS Remember there's an "if" in the middle of life. Remember, there's more to life than science fiction, but not much; Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness.JARGON FILE
hirsute adj. Occasionally used humorously as a synonym for hairy. HLL/H-L-L/ n. Found
primarily in email and news rather than speech. GUY JOKES MAN TO GOD: "GOD, WHY DID YOU MAKE WOMAN SO Home › Short Jokes › Jokes from Emails. Guy Jokes. Man to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God to Man: "So you would love her." "But God", Man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God replies: "So she would love you." God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before. creating a masterpiece. THIS IS A JOKE TOLD BY DAVE ALLEN ON ONE OF HIS SHOWS the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He. gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there. A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar and decides. to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He, too, falls into that open graveand tries to
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Home › Personal Homepage TEN RULES FOR BUSINESS SUCCESS There was an article about France's best known blogger, Loïc Le Meur, in the Financial Times today. He has ten rules for achieving success in business. I found it quite interesting and copied it all here: * Don’t wait for a revolutionary idea. It will never happen. Just focus on a simple, exciting, empty space and execute as fast aspossible
* Share your idea. The more you share, the more you get advice and the more you learn. Meet and talk to your competitors. * Build a community. Use blogging and social software to make sure people hear about you. * Listen to your community. Answer questions and build your product with their feedback. * Gather a great team. Select those with very different skills from you. Look for people who are better than you. * Be the first to recognise a problem. Everyone makes mistakes. Address the issue in public, learn about and correct it. * Don’t spend time on market research. Launch test versions as early as possible. Keep improving the product in the open. * Don’t obsess over spreadsheet business plans. They are not going to turn out as you predict, in any case. * Don’t plan a big marketing effort. It’s much more important and powerful that your community loves the product. * Don’t focus on getting rich. Focus on your users. Money is a consequence of success, not a goal. Wed Dec 5, 2007 (06:03 PM) | Permalink| Persian
Version | Keep Reading YAHOO AND GOOGLE ANNOUNCED THEIR TOP SEARCHED KEYWORDS IN 2007Yahoo!'s
1. Britney Spears
2. WWE
3. Paris Hilton
4. Naruto
5. Beyonce
6. Lindsay Lohan
7. Rune Scape
8. Fantasy Football9. Fergie
10. Jessica Alba
Google's:
1. iphone
2. webkinz
3. tmz
4. transformers
5. youtube
6. club penguin
7. myspace
8. heroes
9. facebook
10. anna nicole smith Tue Dec 4, 2007 (07:32 AM) | Permalink | Persian Version | Keep Reading 'PI' AND 'E' GO ON A DATE Pi and e are on a date -- but one of them has a chilling secret! Watch this Olde English Sketch Comedy.
Sun Feb 25, 2007 (10:09 PM) | Permalink| Persian Version
| Keep Reading
DOCUMENTARIES ON IRAN Here are a couple of interesting documentaries on Iran: BBC's Rageh inside Iran: Rageh
Omaar embarks on a unique journey inside what he describes as one of the most misunderstood countries in the world, looking at the country through the eyes of people rarely heard - ordinary Iranians. Time's Paolo Woods in Iran.
Wed Feb 21, 2007 (10:41 PM) | Permalink| Persian Version
| Keep Reading
BIGGEST DATABASES IN THE WORLD (2007) I wrote about the biggest databases in the world a few years ago. Thelatest list
is out and I thought it would interesting to compare them against eachother.
One of my friends, who used to work for one of those top 10 companies, says that the data they have in this document is pretty accurate. It is interesting that some Internet companies such as Yahoo!, AOL, and MSN are not even in the top 10 list. Sat Feb 17, 2007 (07:32 PM) | Permalink|
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