HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS A journey to nowhere to find one's self. various places don’t want printed. Register, Reidsville, Cobbtown, Claxton, Statesboro, the Tattnall County Commissioners, the Bulloch Board of Commissioners, the Evans County Board of Education, the Tattnall County Magistrate Judge, Oak Park, the Brooklet Police Department, Wadley, the Georgia Southern Police Department, Candler County, the ABOUT | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS About. 24 years living in or within 25 miles of the City of Atlanta makes for big changes when I start over in a town of 1,395.

THE COMFORT ZONE.

As humans, we are wrong more than we are right and we spend most of our time believing we are simply right more often than those around us. We think we know what is best for ourselves, we know what we can handle and what we cannot. But we're

THE PROBLEMS.

“I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.” I know this may come as a surprise to many of you - maybe even as much of one as it did for me - but personal problems don't just vanish. They linger, they fester quietly, and they're always brewing HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS I don’t like instability. I like structure, schedules, and organization. I am the poster child for Type A personalities. Transitions and disorder make me not only uncomfortable, but sometimes

unable to

THE FAVORS.

I don't like asking for help. I can be a bit stubborn in that department. I'll drag a mattress and box spring up the stairs alone, or get lost because I don't want to ask questions, or take double the time do something because I don't want to ask for help. I'll think

about asking

THE NEEDS. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS I had a conversation with someone the other day about “the need” versus “the want,” and in this specific conversation, we were discussing the jobs we hold over the course of a lifetime. The ones we need and the ones we want. When you’re little, you’re idealistic as can be. Your parents tell you you

THE WINDOW.

They say that real maturity is achieved when your mirrors turn into windows. The quote is one of journalist Sydney J. Harris and implies that when we look into mirrors, we only see ourselves and the things in our immediate surroundings, but when we THE BUGS. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS I don't like bugs. I don't care if they're pretty, if they do good things, or if they serve a purpose. If someone said bugs had the ability to eliminate ISIS from the world, I'm still not sure I could like bugs. They cause a crippling fear that detonates the most extreme

case of 'fight

THE GNATS. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS The other day, while pumping gas, I made the mistake of leaving my door open. I did this because the dog was in the car and I didn't want to shut her in there with no air and I couldn't leave the car running. So, I left the door open. What a mistake that was. HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS A journey to nowhere to find one's self. various places don’t want printed. Register, Reidsville, Cobbtown, Claxton, Statesboro, the Tattnall County Commissioners, the Bulloch Board of Commissioners, the Evans County Board of Education, the Tattnall County Magistrate Judge, Oak Park, the Brooklet Police Department, Wadley, the Georgia Southern Police Department, Candler County, the ABOUT | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS About. 24 years living in or within 25 miles of the City of Atlanta makes for big changes when I start over in a town of 1,395.

THE COMFORT ZONE.

As humans, we are wrong more than we are right and we spend most of our time believing we are simply right more often than those around us. We think we know what is best for ourselves, we know what we can handle and what we cannot. But we're

THE PROBLEMS.

“I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.” I know this may come as a surprise to many of you - maybe even as much of one as it did for me - but personal problems don't just vanish. They linger, they fester quietly, and they're always brewing HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS I don’t like instability. I like structure, schedules, and organization. I am the poster child for Type A personalities. Transitions and disorder make me not only uncomfortable, but sometimes

unable to

THE FAVORS.

I don't like asking for help. I can be a bit stubborn in that department. I'll drag a mattress and box spring up the stairs alone, or get lost because I don't want to ask questions, or take double the time do something because I don't want to ask for help. I'll think

about asking

THE NEEDS. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS I had a conversation with someone the other day about “the need” versus “the want,” and in this specific conversation, we were discussing the jobs we hold over the course of a lifetime. The ones we need and the ones we want. When you’re little, you’re idealistic as can be. Your parents tell you you

THE WINDOW.

They say that real maturity is achieved when your mirrors turn into windows. The quote is one of journalist Sydney J. Harris and implies that when we look into mirrors, we only see ourselves and the things in our immediate surroundings, but when we THE BUGS. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS I don't like bugs. I don't care if they're pretty, if they do good things, or if they serve a purpose. If someone said bugs had the ability to eliminate ISIS from the world, I'm still not sure I could like bugs. They cause a crippling fear that detonates the most extreme

case of 'fight

THE GNATS. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS The other day, while pumping gas, I made the mistake of leaving my door open. I did this because the dog was in the car and I didn't want to shut her in there with no air and I couldn't leave the car running. So, I left the door open. What a mistake that was.

THE COMFORT ZONE.

As humans, we are wrong more than we are right and we spend most of our time believing we are simply right more often than those around us. We think we know what is best for ourselves, we know what we can handle and what we cannot. But we're

THE ENVIRONMENT.

Today has been one of the more difficult days we've had down here on the South Georgia compound. The cool, brisk weather has Stella Louise, pictured right, feeling especially adventurous lately. She'll often wander into the neighbors yards to greet their dogs and come right back. Only once has she stayed gone for more than

THE FAVORS.

I don't like asking for help. I can be a bit stubborn in that department. I'll drag a mattress and box spring up the stairs alone, or get lost because I don't want to ask questions, or take double the time do something because I don't want to ask for help. I'll think

about asking

THE MOWER. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS Today I had to mow the lawn. It was long overdue with me being back in the 'burbs, being sick, and then the rain. I couldn't wait until tomorrow and yesterday was already too late. It needed to be today. At least by my own judgment that's what I would say. I've never owned or

THE SUMMER.

Scorching. Sweltering. Stifling. Blistering. Sizzling. Summer has arrived - educationally speaking, that is. Seasonally, summer won't commence for another 5 days, but for all intents and purposes -- and because it's hot as all things holy -- it is summer south of the gnat line. This is my first South Georgia summer. When I lived

THE WINDOW.

They say that real maturity is achieved when your mirrors turn into windows. The quote is one of journalist Sydney J. Harris and implies that when we look into mirrors, we only see ourselves and the things in our immediate surroundings, but when we

THE MARRIAGES.

One of my favorite things about South Georgia is seeing other couples so blissfully happy. It's more common here - relationships across the board are different. You still have your typical population of couples fighting in the Wal-Mart, the man and woman bickering because no one will pick the dinner restaurant, and even your adulterers, WHEN MOVING ISN’T ABOUT LOCATION The things we think are tearing us down are actually building us up more than we can even tell in the moments of pain. The change – the deviation from what we know – even when it hurts, is a good thing. So as it turns out, two years ago, I made one of the best decisions of my life. When I moved to South Georgia, I was cynical, opinionated JUNE | 2017 | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS 1 post published by Jessica Szilagyi during June 2017. I was raised in a family of small business owners. My dad was a small business owner most of his life, my mom has owned her own business for as long as I can remember, my brother is a small business owner, and now I’ve found myself right square in the middle of the proverbial developmental field of a small business. JULY | 2016 | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS 1 post published by Jessica Szilagyi during July 2016. I don’t like instability. I like structure, schedules, and organization. HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS A journey to nowhere to find one's self. various places don’t want printed. Register, Reidsville, Cobbtown, Claxton, Statesboro, the Tattnall County Commissioners, the Bulloch Board of Commissioners, the Evans County Board of Education, the Tattnall County Magistrate Judge, Oak Park, the Brooklet Police Department, Wadley, the Georgia Southern Police Department, Candler County, the ABOUT | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS About. 24 years living in or within 25 miles of the City of Atlanta makes for big changes when I start over in a town of 1,395. THE PLANS. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS I have a Type A personality. A stringent, inflexible Type A personality. Like other Type A people, I enjoy order, structure, timelines, and plans. My closet is color-coded, I take pleasure in checking things off of lists, iPhone apps that track calories are rewarding, and I'm impatient as they, but I thrive under pressure. Unfortunately, "thriving

THE COMFORT ZONE.

As humans, we are wrong more than we are right and we spend most of our time believing we are simply right more often than those around us. We think we know what is best for ourselves, we know what we can handle and what we cannot. But we're

THE HONOR SYSTEM.

One of the things I thought I would find most troubling about my actual move to rural Georgia was the set-up of utilities. The 19th century idea that you must appear in person - with a check - I thought I would be beyond aggravating and time consuming. What, with all the

driving around, the

THE MEMORIES.

Four years ago, I was sitting at a bar in a Mexican restaurant drinking margaritas. (No - this story isn’t going where you think it’s going.) I was actually on my second margarita, so I was past the point of gushing about work, friends, and the love life, and almost to the point of pontificating

THE FAVORS.

I don't like asking for help. I can be a bit stubborn in that department. I'll drag a mattress and box spring up the stairs alone, or get lost because I don't want to ask questions, or take double the time do something because I don't want to ask for help. I'll think

about asking

THE OUTCAST.

The Outcast. February 19, 2016. February 19, 2016. / Jessica Szilagyi. Small towns are all about cliques – and that’s not to be associated with a negative connotation. A clique is merely defined as “a group of people who interact with each other more regularly and intensely than others in the same setting.”. But the cliques are

well

THE MARRIAGES.

One of my favorite things about South Georgia is seeing other couples so blissfully happy. It's more common here - relationships across the board are different. You still have your typical population of couples fighting in the Wal-Mart, the man and woman bickering because no one will pick the dinner restaurant, and even your adulterers, THE GNATS. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS The other day, while pumping gas, I made the mistake of leaving my door open. I did this because the dog was in the car and I didn't want to shut her in there with no air and I couldn't leave the car running. So, I left the door open. What a mistake that was. HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS A journey to nowhere to find one's self. various places don’t want printed. Register, Reidsville, Cobbtown, Claxton, Statesboro, the Tattnall County Commissioners, the Bulloch Board of Commissioners, the Evans County Board of Education, the Tattnall County Magistrate Judge, Oak Park, the Brooklet Police Department, Wadley, the Georgia Southern Police Department, Candler County, the ABOUT | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS About. 24 years living in or within 25 miles of the City of Atlanta makes for big changes when I start over in a town of 1,395. THE PLANS. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS I have a Type A personality. A stringent, inflexible Type A personality. Like other Type A people, I enjoy order, structure, timelines, and plans. My closet is color-coded, I take pleasure in checking things off of lists, iPhone apps that track calories are rewarding, and I'm impatient as they, but I thrive under pressure. Unfortunately, "thriving

THE COMFORT ZONE.

As humans, we are wrong more than we are right and we spend most of our time believing we are simply right more often than those around us. We think we know what is best for ourselves, we know what we can handle and what we cannot. But we're

THE HONOR SYSTEM.

One of the things I thought I would find most troubling about my actual move to rural Georgia was the set-up of utilities. The 19th century idea that you must appear in person - with a check - I thought I would be beyond aggravating and time consuming. What, with all the

driving around, the

THE MEMORIES.

Four years ago, I was sitting at a bar in a Mexican restaurant drinking margaritas. (No - this story isn’t going where you think it’s going.) I was actually on my second margarita, so I was past the point of gushing about work, friends, and the love life, and almost to the point of pontificating

THE FAVORS.

I don't like asking for help. I can be a bit stubborn in that department. I'll drag a mattress and box spring up the stairs alone, or get lost because I don't want to ask questions, or take double the time do something because I don't want to ask for help. I'll think

about asking

THE OUTCAST.

The Outcast. February 19, 2016. February 19, 2016. / Jessica Szilagyi. Small towns are all about cliques – and that’s not to be associated with a negative connotation. A clique is merely defined as “a group of people who interact with each other more regularly and intensely than others in the same setting.”. But the cliques are

well

THE MARRIAGES.

One of my favorite things about South Georgia is seeing other couples so blissfully happy. It's more common here - relationships across the board are different. You still have your typical population of couples fighting in the Wal-Mart, the man and woman bickering because no one will pick the dinner restaurant, and even your adulterers, THE GNATS. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS The other day, while pumping gas, I made the mistake of leaving my door open. I did this because the dog was in the car and I didn't want to shut her in there with no air and I couldn't leave the car running. So, I left the door open. What a mistake that was. THE MOWER. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS Today I had to mow the lawn. It was long overdue with me being back in the 'burbs, being sick, and then the rain. I couldn't wait until tomorrow and yesterday was already too late. It needed to be today. At least by my own judgment that's what I would say. I've never owned or THE STORIES I CHOOSE. The Stories I Choose. December 16, 2018. December 16, 2018. / Jessica Szilagyi. 1,191. That’s how many days have passed since I wrote my first story on corruption in local government in South Georgia. It kind of fell into my lap and the rest is history. You may have heard about one or two of them, maybe all of them.

THE OBITUARY.

Intentionally when we lose sight of the perfection that is placed at our feet every day. We often bypass the blessing that every day is new. We forget that even the moments of turmoil and grief, we are able to grow and be used for a bigger purpose – that everything that happens “to” us molds us for the next day, for the next person we

are

THE WRITING.

I'm not a professional writer and I've never claimed to be. My Bachelor's degree is in Political Science with a Pre-Law focus, my nearly-useless graduate degree in Public Administration focused on local governments and budgeting, and the more appropriate job title for my business card these days should read 'Ant Hill Kicker.' But

somehow I

THE OWNERSHIP.

The Ownership. October 19, 2015. October 19, 2015. / Jessica Szilagyi. I’m 27 years old and I don’t own anything. I rent my home – understandably, I’m new here. I almost own my car. I am the legal guardian of my two pups, but I would hate to say I ‘own’ them – mostly because they own me.

THE ROOMMATE.

If you've been following this blog since its inception, you may recall that I live in an older house. I love my property, but it's no secret that this older house has some drafty windows, unsealed doors, and perhaps a few openings that I'm unaware of - and at this point do not

care to

THE SMALL BUSINESSES. The cliche statement about small businesses is that they are the backbone of our communities and economies, and it’s true. It’s also true that small business owners, by default, have a different workload because not only are they competing with comparable competitors in the industry, they’re also up against “big

business.”.

WHEN MOVING ISN’T ABOUT LOCATION The things we think are tearing us down are actually building us up more than we can even tell in the moments of pain. The change – the deviation from what we know – even when it hurts, is a good thing. So as it turns out, two years ago, I made one of the best decisions of my life. When I moved to South Georgia, I was cynical, opinionated THE APOLOGY THAT WON’T EVER COME. In my time before politics and writing, I worked with kids. Kids teach you a lot - most times more than adults - and almost always good things. There's a short story I recall reading which was intent on teaching the importance of saying 'sorry.' It essentially went like this: Kid A and Kid B JULY | 2015 | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS One of the things I thought I would find most troubling about my actual move to rural Georgia was the set-up of utilities. The 19th century idea that you must appear in person – with a check – I thought I would be beyond aggravating and time consuming. HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS A journey to nowhere to find one's self. various places don’t want printed. Register, Reidsville, Cobbtown, Claxton, Statesboro, the Tattnall County Commissioners, the Bulloch Board of Commissioners, the Evans County Board of Education, the Tattnall County Magistrate Judge, Oak Park, the Brooklet Police Department, Wadley, the Georgia Southern Police Department, Candler County, the ABOUT | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS About. 24 years living in or within 25 miles of the City of Atlanta makes for big changes when I start over in a town of 1,395. THE MOWER. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS Today I had to mow the lawn. It was long overdue with me being back in the 'burbs, being sick, and then the rain. I couldn't wait until tomorrow and yesterday was already too late. It needed to be today. At least by my own judgment that's what I would say. I've never owned or DAY 3 | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS Visit the post for more. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

THE MEMORIES.

It is an invisible mark that will never fully fade. It may not be at the forefront of our daily walk, but the memories are there. We may not be able to pull them out when “we are supposed to” but they are still there. We can and do remember everything, just not always on our own timing. Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be.

THE TRANSITION.

I don't like instability. I like structure, schedules, and organization. I am the poster child for Type A personalities. Transitions and disorder make me not only uncomfortable, but sometimes unable to function. I can't stand limbo. That's how I ended up in South Georgia in the first placeI fled the city where I'd dissolved my

THE HONOR SYSTEM.

One of the things I thought I would find most troubling about my actual move to rural Georgia was the set-up of utilities. The 19th century idea that you must appear in person - with a check - I thought I would be beyond aggravating and time consuming. What, with all the

driving around, the

THE PROBLEMS.

“I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.” I know this may come as a surprise to many of you - maybe even as much of one as it did for me - but personal problems don't just vanish. They linger, they fester quietly, and they're always brewing

THE OUTCAST.

The Outcast. February 19, 2016. February 19, 2016. / Jessica Szilagyi. Small towns are all about cliques – and that’s not to be associated with a negative connotation. A clique is merely defined as “a group of people who interact with each other more regularly and intensely than others in the same setting.”. But the cliques are

well

OCTOBER | 2016 | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS 1 post published by Jessica Szilagyi during October 2016 HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS A journey to nowhere to find one's self. various places don’t want printed. Register, Reidsville, Cobbtown, Claxton, Statesboro, the Tattnall County Commissioners, the Bulloch Board of Commissioners, the Evans County Board of Education, the Tattnall County Magistrate Judge, Oak Park, the Brooklet Police Department, Wadley, the Georgia Southern Police Department, Candler County, the ABOUT | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS About. 24 years living in or within 25 miles of the City of Atlanta makes for big changes when I start over in a town of 1,395. THE MOWER. | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS Today I had to mow the lawn. It was long overdue with me being back in the 'burbs, being sick, and then the rain. I couldn't wait until tomorrow and yesterday was already too late. It needed to be today. At least by my own judgment that's what I would say. I've never owned or DAY 3 | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS Visit the post for more. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

THE MEMORIES.

It is an invisible mark that will never fully fade. It may not be at the forefront of our daily walk, but the memories are there. We may not be able to pull them out when “we are supposed to” but they are still there. We can and do remember everything, just not always on our own timing. Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be.

THE TRANSITION.

I don't like instability. I like structure, schedules, and organization. I am the poster child for Type A personalities. Transitions and disorder make me not only uncomfortable, but sometimes unable to function. I can't stand limbo. That's how I ended up in South Georgia in the first placeI fled the city where I'd dissolved my

THE HONOR SYSTEM.

One of the things I thought I would find most troubling about my actual move to rural Georgia was the set-up of utilities. The 19th century idea that you must appear in person - with a check - I thought I would be beyond aggravating and time consuming. What, with all the

driving around, the

THE PROBLEMS.

“I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.” I know this may come as a surprise to many of you - maybe even as much of one as it did for me - but personal problems don't just vanish. They linger, they fester quietly, and they're always brewing

THE OUTCAST.

The Outcast. February 19, 2016. February 19, 2016. / Jessica Szilagyi. Small towns are all about cliques – and that’s not to be associated with a negative connotation. A clique is merely defined as “a group of people who interact with each other more regularly and intensely than others in the same setting.”. But the cliques are

well

OCTOBER | 2016 | HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS 1 post published by Jessica Szilagyi during October 2016 THE STORIES I CHOOSE. The Stories I Choose. December 16, 2018. December 16, 2018. / Jessica Szilagyi. 1,191. That’s how many days have passed since I wrote my first story on corruption in local government in South Georgia. It kind of fell into my lap and the rest is history. You may have heard about one or two of them, maybe all of them.

FARMS OF THE MONTH

Working for All On Georgia is privilege for many reasons. One of the bigger ones is my work with local farmers in Southeast Georgia to highlight their contributions to the community. Their impact on both the local and state economies is often forgotten and it is the focus of All On Georgia to showcase one farmer every month through a blind selection process – each farm is chosen by another

THE OBITUARY.

Intentionally when we lose sight of the perfection that is placed at our feet every day. We often bypass the blessing that every day is new. We forget that even the moments of turmoil and grief, we are able to grow and be used for a bigger purpose – that everything that happens “to” us molds us for the next day, for the next person we

are

THE WRITING.

I'm not a professional writer and I've never claimed to be. My Bachelor's degree is in Political Science with a Pre-Law focus, my nearly-useless graduate degree in Public Administration focused on local governments and budgeting, and the more appropriate job title for my business card these days should read 'Ant Hill Kicker.' But

somehow I

THE WINDOW.

They say that real maturity is achieved when your mirrors turn into windows. The quote is one of journalist Sydney J. Harris and implies that when we look into mirrors, we only see ourselves and the things in our immediate surroundings, but when we

THE OWNERSHIP.

The Ownership. October 19, 2015. October 19, 2015. / Jessica Szilagyi. I’m 27 years old and I don’t own anything. I rent my home – understandably, I’m new here. I almost own my car. I am the legal guardian of my two pups, but I would hate to say I ‘own’ them – mostly because they own me.

THE ROOMMATE.

If you've been following this blog since its inception, you may recall that I live in an older house. I love my property, but it's no secret that this older house has some drafty windows, unsealed doors, and perhaps a few openings that I'm unaware of - and at this point do not

care to

THE SMALL BUSINESSES. The cliche statement about small businesses is that they are the backbone of our communities and economies, and it’s true. It’s also true that small business owners, by default, have a different workload because not only are they competing with comparable competitors in the industry, they’re also up against “big

business.”.

THANKFULNESS.

The first holiday in the domino row of the season is just a few days away and while Mother Nature appears to be playing games with our hearts over what season is actually ‘in,’ for all intents and purposes, the holidays are here. Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday because it’s WHEN MOVING ISN’T ABOUT LOCATION The things we think are tearing us down are actually building us up more than we can even tell in the moments of pain. The change – the deviation from what we know – even when it hurts, is a good thing. So as it turns out, two years ago, I made one of the best decisions of my life. When I moved to South Georgia, I was cynical, opinionated HAIR BLOWERS TO LAWN MOWERS A JOURNEY TO NOWHERE TO FIND ONE'S SELF. Menu Skip to content

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SKIP MEDIOCRITY AND WAIT – WAIT ON THE LORD. February 3, 2019February 3, 2019

/ Jessica Szilagyi

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Comment

One of my favorite Bible verses, Psalm 27:14, tells us to be courageous and to build strength through our faith in God. The courage and the strengthened heart both happen in His timing, as everything else does.  A single sentence teaches a big lesson in patience but can offer much more when we apply it to our daily life. As both sinners and followers, most of us are terrible with patience. As children, we are inpatient about the things we cannot yet do, innocently desiring to be older and wiser before it is time. As adults, we worry about the timing of our life choices, once again if they’re happening quickly enough or in the right order. And as the end of life approaches, the patience – or impatience – appears in a different form, as we decide whether or not we are ‘ready,’ and if we’ve accomplishment enough before we go. The impatience usually leads us to manipulate our lives and mold them

into what we

Photo: Poetic Photography think will best suit what we _want_ to happen. We force the hands, call the bluffs, ignore feelings, and sometimes even alter who we think we are to make a situation be right. “How can I make myself most available for the pathway of life I think I’m supposed to

have?”

You already know this, but the impatience is rooted in ‘the fear of missing out.’ Accepting the mediocre out of fear that the ‘best’ will come along too late and if we have not accepted the mediocre opportunity, we will then have no opportunity. Simplistic things like Friday night plans or an outfit decision naturally do a disservice to the gravity of accepting mediocrity with big life decisions like employment and marriage. It’s like shopping online and the notification pops up that says, “HURRY! ONLY 3 ITEMS REMAIN!” Our entire lives are deciding whether to commit and put that pair of shoes in the cart or hold out for a sale price tomorrow or next week, risking the missed chance at the shoes all together. _‘IF YOU WANT TO MAKE GOD LAUGH, PLAN.’ _ But even still, knowing that we aren’t to accept mediocrity, we are tempted to do it. Fear consumes us and fear clouds our judgment and we end up making decisions with the leading factor being concern of missing out. Be it over simplistic choices or big life lessons, these fear-based decisions often backfire and not only have we accepted mediocracy, disallowing the best for ourselves, we end up dissatisfied with the the mediocracy in the end. This undoubtedly impacts those involved and unless you’re a great actor, it’s hard work to pretend like you’re not unhappy with the mediocre. All of that because we were afraid of ending up with nothing. But is dissatisfaction with mediocracy something worth having? Is that

even _something_?

I would argue it isn’t. This isn’t to be confused with not being grateful for the blessings we are given. Of course we should be. But instead, it’s about asking yourself at what cost are you accepting mediocrity? What is the tradeoff? More importantly, what is it that you’re actually worried you’re going to miss out on? Is it what the world has determined you should attain and when? Is it that others have convinced you that you

desire something?

Powered by wordads.co Thank you for submitting the report! Seen ad many times Not relevant Offensive Covers content Broken Report this ad It’s natural to have goals and earthly desires, but it’s also necessary for those goals and desires to be yours, rooted in your values and your faith and in the timing that is right for your life. The expectations the world has for you will never fit into the timeline of your own life. This lesson, the lesson in patience, is about trusting your faith enough to know that God will not leave us with ‘nothing.’ If we feel like we have ‘nothing,’ our navigation is off. It’s not an easy lesson and it’s hard to admit when something is outside of our control or won’t be happening in the time we set for ourselves. It’s admittedly a tough lesson for a control freak like myself and one I push and pull on daily, trying to find the balance between what I can do personally to avoid mediocrity and when it’s time to just give it all to God and wait, wait on The Lord. But it’s a lot easier to find solace in His timing when you know that your expectations are not the world’s, but yours and His.

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THE STORIES I CHOOSE. December 16, 2018December 16, 2018

/ Jessica Szilagyi

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1,191. That’s how many days have passed since I wrote my first story on corruption in local government in South Georgia. It kind of fell into my lap and the rest is history. You may have heard about one or two of them, maybe all of them. Word travels quickly down here. In the 1,191 days, I’ve learned that ‘journalism’ means different things to different people and I’ve even attempted to cater to the different definitions that various people possess in an attempt to please everyone, an action that results in failure 9 times out of 10. The consistent experts, on the other hand, say that ‘Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed’ and that everything else is just public relations. And I’m inclined

to agree.

In those 1,191 days, I’ve also established quite the portfolio on things that people in Photo: Poetic Photography various places don’t want printed. Register, Reidsville, Cobbtown, Claxton, Statesboro, the Tattnall County Commissioners, the Bulloch Board of Commissioners, the Evans County Board of Education, the Tattnall County Magistrate Judge, Oak Park, the Brooklet Police Department, Wadley, the Georgia Southern Police Department, Candler County, the Ben Hill County Board of Education, the McIntosh County Board of Education,  and the Emanuel County Board of Commissioners. This is legitimately my job now and the pocket of available places I could peacefully live may even be defined as ‘narrow,’ but that’s another conversation for another day. If you’ve heard about any or all of these stories, there’s a good chance you’ve also heard some of the same complaints I have – “She doesn’t write anything positive” or “Everything is about what local government is doing wrong.” For example: I was recently criticized for not attending a Christmas tree lighting in the City of Brooklet that I didn’t know was happening. and if I had a dollar for every time I was chastised for missing an event I didn’t know what taking place, you’d be reading this column in a magazine I mailed to you, free of charge, for fun…not on a free blogging platform on the Internet. I used to spend a decent amount of time trying to refute these complaints, explaining that I was not in the ‘social clique’ to know these things were happening, and justifying that I’m only one person and cannot be everywhere. I eventually gave up on trying to convince people why I believe what I do is important because the ones that understand that is will read it and the ones who don’t agree simply won’t. And that’s okay. It is worth noting that AllOnGeorgia was created in the vision of reporting everything you don’t get everywhere else. I’m not sure any of us ever believed it would be what it is today, but this ship has been steered by people who ask for help, not by the most direct route to success. Further, someone already is, has been, and will continue to report about the Christmas tree lightings, the ribbon cuttings, the weddings, the family reunions, and the teeball games. So, why would I do something that someone is already doing, and, arguably, doing well? I can confidently ask myself that question now, but I tried to do all of those things when I first started because I think they are important stories for communities and because I thought it would help me fit in. Turns out – it didn’t. You can’t squeeze an elephant into a guitar case and you can’t make someone passionate about something that doesn’t fuel their passion. Powered by wordads.co Thank you for submitting the report! Seen ad many times Not relevant Offensive Covers content Broken Report this ad I have managed to find the niches of positivity that I enjoy sharing and I believe that I share well, but I write to tell a story and to inform, not to fill a page. I want the words I pen to make people uncomfortable, to challenge their beliefs, and to make them think. I want to inspire the people around me to seek change, to speak up, and to fight for their communities. To me, that is positive…even if it doesn’t make everyone feel good. I am not sure that I owe anyone an explanation because I believe what I’m doing is right, but I offer one to my readers because I believe I was uniquely crafted to do this job. Why I believe that helps people understand me – and what I do – more clearly. There is no grey area in accountability and transparency and the lens through which I view events happening around me is, in fact, black and white. I didn’t move to South Georgia knowing that I would fall into this type of writing, but I did, and it’s important to me that I recognize where I was chosen to be. People, whether they love what I do or hate what I do, should know that, too. Perhaps, the short version of this blog would simply argue that ‘positivity’ is too subjective to mean the same thing to everyone. But a purpose is neither positive nor subjective. It just is and I’m

thankful for that.

THANKFULNESS.

November 19, 2018November 19, 2018

/ Jessica Szilagyi

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The first holiday in the domino row of the season is just a few days away and while Mother Nature appears to be playing games with our hearts over what season is actually ‘in,’ for all intents and purposes, the holidays are here. Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday because it’s so much work only to have to clean up dishes when it’s all said and done. It’s a sprint, as opposed to the marathon of Christmas, which entails cookies and delicious treats for an entire month, great music, sparkly decorations, glitter, and cheerful people. Champagne isn’t as common on Thanksgiving as it is on New Years, which summarizes fully while it ranks at the bottom of the list of the 3 winter holidays. But whether you love or loathe Thanksgiving, it is also the start of the introspective part of the year. People start reflecting on what the good, the bad, and the ugly of the last 11 months and joke about how much better next year will be when it gets here. For that, I find it tolerable. I like the analysis and I appreciate the ‘it will be better’ mantra shift away from ‘we just have to finish out this year.’ In order to know what we want next, per se, we have to take inventory of what we already have and what we find to be missing. I look at Thanksgiving as the speed bump that slows us down enough to acknowledge thankfulness, appreciation, joy, and goodness. It’s the first hurdle in the season that redirects our focus. _All of you people who say, (and I say write this while echoing in my very best Mariah Carey voice), “Happy Thanksgiving – I’m thankful EVERY day of the year, not just on holidays,” congrats to you on your perfectly focused life._ The rest of us down here on Honest Island admit that we get caught up in the day-to-day of life, forget to be thankful, sometimes feel sorry for ourselves, want, desire, envy, and all the other sins normal humans commit. The rest of us take heed to the reason for the holiday season as a whole and get grounded once again. So, the thankfulness. Yes, we have so much to be thankful for. Yes, we are all so privileged and blessed. Yes, we have people who love us. Yes, we live in the greatest country on earth with so much opportunity. These are the low hanging fruits for which we are able to claim thankfulness. But there’s more to it than that. Truly being thankful means more than just acknowledging the good around you. Being thankful is understanding that thankfulness requires action, not acceptance, and a desire to something with the blessings that are bestowed upon you. How can you put blessings back onto others in your life…and even those who aren’t. The basics of returning thanks and blessings are a given. Charity, donations, open doors, etc. They are _do good,_  make for a better world tasks, and without a doubt bring joy to the recipient of said blessings. But what about the goodness of someone’s soul? How do we transcend the goodness of our blessings to someone else so they really

moved by it?

Powered by wordads.co Thank you for submitting the report! Seen ad many times Not relevant Offensive Covers content Broken Report this ad I don’t know and it’s still something I’m grappling with myself. But some ideas I have pondered: If you’re thankful for a loving family who lends a listening ear when you need it because you understand the value of it and what it offers in a time of sorrow or joy. To whom can you offer a listening

ear?

In your thankfulness of your job (and ability to have one), ponder how you can not just help someone get back on their feet, but also how to mirror your work ethic, your zeal, and your passion for doing

something you love.

If you’re giving thanks for your bountiful health that we all so often take for granted, for whom can you pray to see that same

blessing.

In essence, consider how to add depth to your thankfulness and your sharing of blessings. People tell me all the time that they can tell when I’m writing about something I’m passionate about versus something I’m just writing about to fill the space. People can tell when we’re going through the motions or just doing something because we need to do it. This is the same thing. Give your blessings a story to follow – show those around you how your blessings inspired you to be better for yourself and for others. Giving thanks is only half the task. Cycling our own blessings into blessings for others – and with purpose – is the truest blessing and what this season of thankfulness is all about. COMBATING NEGATIVITY.

August 26, 2018

/ Jessica Szilagyi

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We all have sources of negativity in our lives – be it a relationship, a financial situation, our employment, or perhaps our criticism of ourselves. It comes in various forms: snide remarks from the people you work with, a season of your romantic relationship, a misfire in a friendship, or a lack of satisfaction with your physical appearance. And then there’s social media. Unless you’re only friends with people who share cat photos and dog memes, social media is a negativity you can’t escape. The double-edged sword of the information age which gives us real time information at the swipe of a finger, rich with all the updates and commentary that leaving you hoping Jesus and a giant meteor are vying for a first place finish

here on Earth.

This is something I struggle with because of my job. Writing about elected folk doing things that are harmful to others, and then using social media as the avenue of delivery leaves me 0 for 2 on a daily basis. If politics, by default, is negative, then I don’t even know how to classify corruption and the exposing of it, but on a scale of 1 to 10, it’s somewhere around a 15. Think of all the people I’ve ticked off in these communities — their family, their friends, to name a few. Couple that with the fact that it’s happening in nearly every community, the ‘bad news’ about the people most folks have known all their lives leaves little room for a pat on the back. It’s too much for a lot of people –  I am aware of how that comes across, mostly because I know what it does to me. I would imagine the burnout

rate is high.

On a day-to-day basis, I remind myself that my job has a purpose as I know what I am doing is right, but like all of you, that steadiness begins to shake when something else in life goes wrong, or another pressure leads to negative thoughts. Before you know it, I’m ready to sell the house, pack up, and start over again in a town far away, probably even out of the state, ready to marry someone with a name so far from Szilagyi that you’d never track me down– and on the days when I get to that point, I’m only slowed by my stubbornness of not letting the wrongdoers win. I eventually bounce back to logical thinking and remind myself that someone else’s negativity is not my own and I can’t let it seep into my life. But that’s the problem with negativity: it’s like a snowball that gains momentum, spirals out of control, and eliminates your ability to reason with yourself. I liken it to work, but I see it happen to others when someone is critical of their relationship, their parenting skills, their appearance, work ethic, or perhaps something less important like socioeconomic status or employment. How many people do you know who battle shame over who they love, their work-home life balance, how much money they haven’t made, how many goals they haven’t yet attained? And it’s usually not because of anything _they_ think they’re doing wrong, but because of what others think. Most of the negativity in our lives is there because we’ve allowed it to be, not because we’ve created it. And I’m here to tell you that ‘ignoring it’ is not enough. Back to my example of the negativity espoused by my work…The writings on this blog have been fewer and farther between than a year or two ago…not because I don’t have anything positive to say, or because I’m not interested in offering the personal reflection. Nope. It’s more on the excuse I’ve established that it’s hard for me to jump back and forth between the tone of my work in communities and the positive or reflective pieces I like to put on here. “Negativity is the enemy of creativity,” after all. Powered by wordads.co Thank you for submitting the report! Seen ad many times Not relevant Offensive Covers content Broken Report this ad There have been times that I’ve convinced myself that people have come to expect the objectivity and the anti-corruption hardass in me and that they would have no interest in anything else. (Now, that’s negativity I’ve brought into my own life and really for no justifiable reason – you see how this works?) Combating negativity is hard work and that’s why you can’t just take the ‘hands off’ approach to defying it. Neutrality accomplishes nothing. You defeat negativity by doing something

positive.

Recall my excuse for not penning more columns on this blog: I said that when it’s time to turn off work, I just want to let my mind rest and so I do nothing. Wouldn’t my time be better spent – and wouldn’t it be more beneficial for me – if I utilized my skills and my passion to share stories that showcase the good around me in South Georgia, the way The Lord continues to shape me, and to shed

light on who I am?

It’s important to remember that you’re doing this for yourself, though. This isn’t about the image you put out to everyone else or the life you claim to have. It’s for the simple well-being of yourself, to avoid the destruction that results because of pent up negativity. You’re just not allowing the criticisms to penetrate your armor. You’re changing the tone in which you interpret and internalize what’s going on around you. Think about what breeds the most negativity in your life and ask yourself what positive thoughts and actions you can harbor to defeat those negatives. Before long, you’ll be on the offensive, without even knowing it, and with much less room for anything negative. GOD DOESN’T LEAVE EMPTY HOLES. April 22, 2018April 22, 2018

/ Jessica Szilagyi

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April 24 will mark 15 years since my Dad left this earth. I’m barreling toward my 30th birthday this year, the same way a meteor seems to speed toward Earth, it’s hard to believe that it’s now been half of my life. Every year, the date on the calendar inches closer and I once again find myself asking how I feel about it all. I momentarily think about it and then say “the same” only to carry

on about my day.

I have always been open about the type of relationship I had with my

Dad

,

not because I feel sorry for myself or want others to, but because the entire thing -from start to finish- was instrumental in making me who

I am today.

But perhaps I just think I feel “the same” about it all because, on the surface it seems to _be_ the same, but in reality, it is not. I believe in the stages of grief, I just don’t believe there is an order to those stages or that people must conform to the expectations of progression in order to successfully heal. I know I have healed and I know I’ve accepted the path that was chosen for him, for me, and for our family. Unfortunately, the death of my dad was the ignition of a decade-long firestorm among me and my siblings that left figuratively – and quite literally – just ashes. That’s another story for another day, or perhaps my book, but my acceptance of it all surprises me. For as much as I ask ‘Why?’ in my professsional life now, it often surprises me that I don’t spend time asking ‘Why?’ in my personal life. But I don’t – at least not about my family.

That’s healing.

I’ve been blessed with the ‘matter of factness’ of it all, understanding that this is just how it was, how it is, and how it’s going to be. As vacant as it may sound, God did not leave those holes empty. I believe it has transformed how I see so many of the others in my life. Over the years, a handful of people have been placed in my life to guide me in ways I feel sure my dad would  have had he been here. Some did so voluntarily and intentionally, others without even knowing they were doing it. During those moments in time, I don’t think I was able to recognize the purpose of those people in my life for their season, but when I consider the landscape now, it is ever so clear. God’s plan for my life was undoubtedbly to grow up without _my Dad_ but His plan did not leave me without someone to fill that vacancy. Because of my faith and the strength of the structure around me, I have not gone without. I would never say it was _better_ this way. Of course, we all wish things were the storybook picture we learn about as naive children, but because it wasn’t….isn’t…won’t be…the positive in it all is that the guidance that was provided and the messages that have been delievered were well-received because of the people around me

that I trust.

I know my faults in my stubborness and my hard-headedness – both of which come from my Dad. Maybe all along God knew who was best-suited to deliver those lessons to me and that’s why those people were placed before me – like markers on a trail. Go this way. We, as humans, spend a lot of time in our lives focusing on what we are missing, what we are leaving behind, and how much we should be rewarded for doing “without.” It’s possible we think we are doing so great with so little, but we actually have so much more than we see on the surface. Powered by wordads.co Thank you for submitting the report! Seen ad many times Not relevant Offensive Covers content Broken Report this ad The blessing of my healing is that, despite the downfalls of my relationship with my dad and the true turmoil it created and left behind, I barely see that. I’m able to cherry pick the positives and remember the blissful child-like memories when I think of him: the model-rocket building, the treasure hunts he used to create around the house for my mom, the ridiculous jokes I thought were real-life stories. I’m also able to see, with clarity, the value of the people

placed in my life.

Because God doesn’t leave empty holes. God delivers. FEELING SMALL IN A SEA OF GREATNESS.

February 24, 2018

/ Jessica Szilagyi

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A lot of people hate the feeling of feeling ‘small.’ They associate it with insults, or condemnation, or oversight. I love it. I

love feeling small.

Feeling small is why – or how (or maybe both) – I fell in love

with South Georgia.

When I moved down south the first time, for work, it was about this time of year. No gnats, but still so warm. Too hot for jeans, but no one is tan enough or toned enough this early in the season to wear anything else, so you spend most days just walking around sweating and telling yourself you would rather be hot than cold. Your body temperature is usually escalated, given the heat, so you actually believe what you tell yourself. But, in all seriousness, few people can refute the wonderful feeling of the warm sun on your face…especially when you’re surrounded by nothing. I remember the first time I stepped outside to no clouds, no noise, and just sunshine and open fields. It was the most freeing feeling to hear nothing and to see nothing but land in every direction. At the time, I had no idea why I was so consumed by the feeling of the greatness of my surroundings – though it was still emotional for me – but I conceded to allow myself to absorb and appreciate everything about what was around me. When I did that, I saw a transformation in myself. Knowing my smallness, my true irrelevancy on this Earth, I actually found more purpose. It distracted me from anger, from bitterness, from grudges, from materialism and redirected my focus to my faith and to simplicity. Even in knowing my shortcomings, I felt pure. It was a peace I had never known before, but one I knew I wanted to keep forever. It was – and still is – astounding to me that it was so simple to attain, too. The epitome of ‘Let go and Let God.’ When I returned to South Georgia in the Fall of 2015, I gravitated toward the notion of smallness. I had worked hard to get to a position to leave the city and my positivity was radiating. Through my writing, I was able to share the profoundness of ‘the simple life’ and it brought joy to me and to others. I know many in my life saw a notable change in me. But earthly pain and suffering distracted me and ultimately consumed me. The rat race and pressures I placed on myself with work took precedent. I stopped writing for myself and my purpose and wrote for production and a machine. That isn’t to say my work writing serves no purpose, I feel sure that it does, but what good is a work purpose with no personal purpose? It’s like placing a pot on the stove to boil – whether the burner is large or it is small, it still needs the same amount of heat to make the water boil…and I was not distributing the heat evenly. There were ‘triggers’ for me…things that happen that remind me of my perspective back in 2014 and 2015 that would immediately take me back. I would hear a song on the radio and I could remember when I heard that ‘before,’ where I was, the sunset, the fields, my purpose. But I would put it off until ‘tomorrow,’ saying I didn’t have time. A year went by before I really reflected and realized how few times I allowed myself to become consumed by what brought me here in the first place. Though it was comforting to know I could still be shaken and moved by greatness, what a disservice I was doing to myself by not capitalizing on everything around me. We are so small and so unimportant on this massive planet. In our day-to-day activities, we are so irrelevant. Half the time, we don’t even know why we are doing what we are doing – we just ‘do.’ And then we praise ourselves for it. People balk at the saying, ‘Stop and smell the roses,’ but the true power in doing that goes beyond the 6 syllable cliché. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and feel small actually shifts us toward something much bigger, a place where we are better suited to grow. Real peace comes in the blessing of knowing the value of being small and to feel moved by the greatness of nothing. Or at least nothing

that is Earthly.

THE APOLOGY THAT WON’T EVER COME.

November 21, 2017

/ Jessica Szilagyi

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In my time before politics and writing, I worked with kids. Kids teach you a lot – most times more than adults – and almost always good things. There’s a short story I recall reading which was intent on teaching the importance of saying ‘sorry.’ It essentially went like this: Kid A and Kid B are playing together when Kid A asks Kid B if he would like a banana. Kid B says ‘YES,’ so Kid A grabs a banana and a hammer and smashes the banana before handing it to Kid B. Kid B is noticeably upset and says he didn’t want a smashed banana. Kid A says “I’m so sorry!” and runs to get another banana, smashes it again with the hammer, and passes it to Kid B. Kid B gets upset again and Kid A apologizes more emphatically. Kid A runs to get another banana but while he is gone, Kid B grabs an apple and goes outside to play alone. The end. Why am I telling you about children and bananas in the most elementary way possible? As an illustration and the most simplistic way to teach the obnoxious lesson that ‘the best apology is changed behavior.’ 1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” But even the Bible, a forgiving Lord, is clear that that isn’t enough. We must strive to be different. Above, I describe the change in behavior as obnoxious because, if you’re on the receiving end of the apology, the changed behavior is desired, but if you’re on the delivering side of the apology, it sounds cliché and takes work to overcome a pride or a guilt. Even so, if the issue is important enough to you -like with family, significant others, friends, and even work – you come through with the changed behavior. Or you at least try. It all seems pretty simplistic still, right? Wrong. We, as humans, have this odd tendency to want people to _be_ sorry. We want to hear the words ‘I apologize,’ and we want those people to remind themselves that they’re sorry without us having to do it. You know what I’m talking about. Women are likely the worst about it, but men are pretty bad, too. If you have ever been in a relationship, you have probably uttered the words, “You don’t seem sorry.” There’s one step above that pettiness which is the beloved, “You’re just saying you’re sorry because you know I’m

upset.”

Feeling like the pancake keeps flipping here? In any given situation, you want someone to be sorry but when they are sorry, sorry isn’t enough, so you want more illustration of being sorry, but words are the best ‘sorry’ because you hear it, whereas ‘sorry’ in action sometimes isn’t as obvious, so “I’m sorry” remains at the top of the list for ‘sorry.’ Did you follow that? If not,

sorry.

You get where I’m going with this, though. We demand verbal apologies all while knowing verbal apologies will never be enough. Other times, we just want a person to be sorry about something that happened to us, even if that person isn’t the reason we want an apology. Sorry for what we’re going through, or how we’re feeling, or that we’re having a bad day. But those people are almost always drowned out by the ones who say sorry over and over and never do anything different. These are the people who probably ruin the word ‘sorry’ for the rest of us – both givers and receivers of the word ‘sorry.’ Your doctor’s office is sorry they’re running behind. The server is apologetic for getting your order wrong. Your co-worker who never carries their weight, always has a reason why., and uses that ‘why’ as some roundabout _Sorry I’m not doing what I’m supposed to._ Same story, different day. Powered by wordads.co Thank you for submitting the report! Seen ad many times Not relevant Offensive Covers content Broken Report this ad Why are these people ruining apologies for the rest of the world? Because they have no intention of changing. The doctor’s office probably isn’t going to start running on time just because they’re sorry for being late before. But they say sorry anyway. Your server isn’t going to cook the food herself next time just to make sure it’s correct. But they say sorry anyway. And your co-worker is most likely going to keep on the way they are until they’re no longer your co-worker. But they say sorry anyway. Will you be like Kid B and go outside – to a new doctor’s office, a new restaurant, or a new

job?

Subconsciously, we know all of this, yet somehow, we’re more accepting of the apologies at the doctor’s office, or from the server, and the co-worker than we are of the people in real relationships because they _seem_ sorry. In the worst of cases, in our personal relationships, we’re so caught up in the _seeming_ that we miss _seeing. _We’re focused on hearing “I’m sorry” that we’re missing an effort in a different way right before our eyes…and if we focus on the lacking words and gloss over the present behavior, we’re waiting on an apology that will never come. It’s easy to leave behind a doctor’s office or a restaurant or even co-worker, but it’s much harder to leave important people behind. And wouldn’t you feel silly if it was only because you wanted the seem not the see? So which would you prefer: the words or the action?

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