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FUNNY JOKES
WILL AND GUY'S FUNNY JOKES, SHORT STORIES AND AMUSING PICTURES 'Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.'_Victor Borge_
This site is built for enjoyment. We had great fun both in gathering funny jokes from numerous sources, and in arranging it an entertaining format. We have divide the site into these four broadsections:
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* Funny Clean Jokes
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* Free Videos and PowerPoint Presentations * Amusing Short StoriesSPONSORED LINKS
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throughout the year. We have whole sections covering the major festivals, and single pages for the more specialized saints' days andzany
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LIFE AFTER MARRIAGE
Daniel and Jessica, young couple, got married and went happily ontheir
honeymoon. When they got back, Jessica immediately 'phoned her motherand
her mother obviously asked, 'How was the honeymoon, dearest?' 'Oh, Ma,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful. Soromantic...'
Then Jessica
burst out crying. 'But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Daniel startedusing
the most ghastly language... saying things I've never heard before! Imean,
all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Ma.' 'Calm down, Jessica!,' said her mother, 'Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?' Still sobbing, Jessica whispered, 'Oh, Ma...words like dust, wash, cook, and iron.'ANCIENT JOKES
Jokes have existed for over 4 thousand years. Philogelos or The Laughter Lover is the oldest surviving example of a joke book; it contains 260 jokes and was written by Hierokles andPhilagrius
in the fourth century. The jokes in The Laughter Lover havesurprisingly
modern themes, which are divided into categories such as Incompetents, people with bad breath and Intellectuals, who are often portrayed asthose
who lack common sense. In an ancient version of Monty Python's dead parrot sketch a Romanbuys a
slave, who dies shortly afterwards. When he complains to the seller,the
Roman is told: "He didn't die when I owned him."FUNNY PICTURES
Will and Guy interpret funny pictures as any images that we find interesting, or thought-provoking. Will and Guy forgot to mention earlier that we have nothing to sell, thus we are free to includeanything
we just plain enjoy, and hope that you find something enjoyable ineach
section.
* Funny Pictures (Cars, animals and people) * Interesting Buildings * Evocative Pictures* Amusing Animals
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* PowerPoint Presentations - Free Download AMUSING SHORT STORIES Will and Guy love a good yarn; here is our collection of stories that bring a wry smile at the surreal setting, unexpected connection, or memorable punch line. One of our favourite games-within-a-game, is to modify old jokes to different settings. * After-dinner Stories * Comedians - One-liners * Free Short Stories * Funny Short Stories* Strange But True
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WILL AND GUY'S
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Will and Guy really believe that we have discovered the secret of a successful funny joke site - variety. With normal joke sites and joke books, you get loads of pages all with the same theme. The result is you soon get bored. However, with our site you never know what type of joke, picture or story will follow next, thusyou get
a
constant drip feed of fresh nuggets that will keep a smile on yourface.
EXAMPLES OF WILL AND GUY'S CLEAN JOKES AND FUNNY STORIES SCHOOLBOY HOWLERS - A RICH SOURCE OF JOKES Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe todrink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes largepollutants like
grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.WHACKED
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman. TALES FROM TRAVEL AGENTS FASTEST JET IN AMERICA An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and shebought that!
HOW WILL AND GUY'S JOKE SITE EVOLVED Will Baker does most of the research in unearthing the humour featured on this site. What pleases Will and me most, is that more and more people are beginning to contribute with jokes and funny stories. We hope that you will keep returning to the site as the material is growing rapidly. Our mission is to provide a wealth, of clean yet funny jokes. We are also committed to keeping this a freesite for jokes.
It gives Will and me particular pleasure to thank Hannah, Sally andJenny for
their jokes, stories and funny pictures. Other individualcontributions are
acknowledged on the appropriate page. SUITABILITY OF FUNNY JOKES Before I go any further, I would like to say a word about the suitability of these jokes for viewing. In my opinion, there is nothing in the content that is unsuitable viewing. My only concern about the content is, will you get the joke, not about the nature of the material. Our goal is to record and relay humour without descending into the crude or the gratuitous insult. I will let you into a secret, before publishing a page I apply the litmus test: 'Would my Aunt approve of this joke?' Lastly, I would like to say again that Will has been the inspiration and has done all the hard work finding the funny jokes, I just load the pages up to the website. As the site is about English humour, I have decided to use the English spelling, rather than the American humor. That said, I hope that much of the humor or humour works in any culture. Naturally, sometimes we have changedthe
names of people to protect the guilty. We hope that you share Will and Guy's humour,see more about Us
Next Witticisms »
For the latest in mixed martial arts such as UFC and Bellator as well as Boxing news and Muay Thai updates, a great site for the latest MMA News and updates is LowKick MMA. SEE MORE SECTIONS OF FUNNY JOKES, CLEAN JOKES, FUNNY PICTURES ANDAMUSING VIDEOS
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