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AERANNIS (PC)
Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithfulrecreation.
PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:OH GOD WAIT.
THE GREAT OMEGLE DEBATE: MURDER MOST FOUL For those of you unfamiliar with Omegle, it is a website that allows you to chat with other users at random. Half of the users are bots (not particularly clever ones, however) and the other half are anonymous, racist douchebags who are trying to out-compete each other for the coveted title of Worst Human in the Universe. And each and every one of them is trying to have sex with you. MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all futureprojects, and
AERANNIS (PC)
Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithfulrecreation.
PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:OH GOD WAIT.
THE GREAT OMEGLE DEBATE: MURDER MOST FOUL For those of you unfamiliar with Omegle, it is a website that allows you to chat with other users at random. Half of the users are bots (not particularly clever ones, however) and the other half are anonymous, racist douchebags who are trying to out-compete each other for the coveted title of Worst Human in the Universe. And each and every one of them is trying to have sex with you. MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMES Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all futureprojects, and
TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a JURASSIC PARK III: DANGER ZONE (WIN98) The game pieces are Jeeps that rove around a decent-looking 3D game board, complete with small, repetitive dinosaur animations. Your goal is to land on “dart zone” squares, and dart the DNA (green for kid-friendly reasons) of a chosen dinosaur. This may seem easy atfirst, and if
GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: DEMON’S SOULS A fog has now consumed the kingdom of Boleteria, and everyone in it and the surrounding lands have completely disappeared. Loads of warriors, magicians, Steve Irwin, and other people that are terrible at pattern recognition have gone into it in an effort to DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE IS Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as wellas a preview of
FAMILY DOG (SNES)
Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves isa little
WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topicDANCING EYES (ARC)
I Only Have Eyes For You. Dancing Eyes is a game where you are required to undress people and objects. I say “and objects” because there are joke stages within the game, and also a more family-friendly setting that lets you undress things like cars and milk bottles. You are in control of a group of little monkeys who wraparound the object.
GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS HIVESWAP: Act 2 (PC) Reviews by Robyn Tyrfing on February 8, 2021. After three years of waiting, we're back with the second act of HIVESWAP, the long-awaited Homestuck adventure game!AERANNIS (PC)
Obviously, I'm Robyn. I'm a nonbinary godmonster(my pronouns are ze/hir), into videogames, and other stuff. I'm back to writing about gender and videogames and why you're secretly trans for playing Metroid on an emulator. KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers,Konami, has
SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) I’m grumpy, you know why? I’ve been working on this review since the start of September. I take a break, and when I come back to it, the Game Grumps have played Snowboard Kids 2.Now everybody on the Internet knows about the Snowboard Kids franchise.Looks like it’s not so “outside the mainstream” anymore. GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Nikola has a tiny, baby beard. It is an embarrassment to the rest of the staff at GameCola, who work weekends as lumberjacks. Follow him on Twitter @NikolaSuprak for the most up to the moment details on PhoenixWright shipping.
TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot: OH GOD WAIT. Disclaimer: T PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting THE GREAT OMEGLE DEBATE: MURDER MOST FOUL For those of you unfamiliar with Omegle, it is a website that allows you to chat with other users at random. Half of the users are bots (not particularly clever ones, however) and the other half are anonymous, racist douchebags who are trying to out-compete each other for the coveted title of Worst Human in the Universe. And each and every one of them is trying to have sex with you. MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) Even though it says 1996 all the girls look like throwbacks to ’83 and I’m not even sure the guys in Miss/Mister are even real. They all look like photoshops. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS HIVESWAP: Act 2 (PC) Reviews by Robyn Tyrfing on February 8, 2021. After three years of waiting, we're back with the second act of HIVESWAP, the long-awaited Homestuck adventure game!AERANNIS (PC)
Obviously, I'm Robyn. I'm a nonbinary godmonster(my pronouns are ze/hir), into videogames, and other stuff. I'm back to writing about gender and videogames and why you're secretly trans for playing Metroid on an emulator. KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers,Konami, has
SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) I’m grumpy, you know why? I’ve been working on this review since the start of September. I take a break, and when I come back to it, the Game Grumps have played Snowboard Kids 2.Now everybody on the Internet knows about the Snowboard Kids franchise.Looks like it’s not so “outside the mainstream” anymore. GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Nikola has a tiny, baby beard. It is an embarrassment to the rest of the staff at GameCola, who work weekends as lumberjacks. Follow him on Twitter @NikolaSuprak for the most up to the moment details on PhoenixWright shipping.
TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot: OH GOD WAIT. Disclaimer: T PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting THE GREAT OMEGLE DEBATE: MURDER MOST FOUL For those of you unfamiliar with Omegle, it is a website that allows you to chat with other users at random. Half of the users are bots (not particularly clever ones, however) and the other half are anonymous, racist douchebags who are trying to out-compete each other for the coveted title of Worst Human in the Universe. And each and every one of them is trying to have sex with you. MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) Even though it says 1996 all the girls look like throwbacks to ’83 and I’m not even sure the guys in Miss/Mister are even real. They all look like photoshops. EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH (PC) Whether a gimmick, a joke, or setup for a scene, music is essential to EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH.. The music has hints of the first soundtrack mixed into all new sounds to experience!TRIPLEA (PC)
Axis & Allies is a board game from Wizards of the Coast where players control one of the eponymous alliances of World War II.While not nearly as well-known as classics like Monopoly or Diplomacy, Axis & Allies has a pretty good following around the world, tending to be a fairly large draw at Gen Con. Devoted fans of the game created a fully independent website to honor and discuss Axis TOP OF THE HEAP: THE NAUGHTY SIDE OF THE NES Top of the Heap Peek-A-Boo Poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker went a little bit farther than its peers by wrapping its brand of NES porn around a game that’s actually playable rather than just slot machines, shitty Columns or Rochambeau. Was it arousing? No, this game wouldn’t give me a chub on my most hard-up day and the poker game itself was better in Casino Kid, but it’s a passable novelty, if a DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE IS Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: DEMON’S SOULS No, no, no, no, no. You just found it too difficult. Judging you by this article, you would have hated playing in the 32bit era. This game is a 100% winner for me, the only pity is that is was aFAMILY DOG (SNES)
I was browsing through my “F” Super Nintendo games the other day, and came across a game I’d never heard of: Family Dog.A very curious title; was it a Tamagotchi-like game, a world-adventure game like Milo and Otis, or something else?Well, as it turns out, it’s an awful sidescroller by LJN, and it’s probably one of the most wretched, nauseating games I’ve ever played. WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic THE GREAT OMEGLE DEBATE: MURDER MOST FOUL For those of you unfamiliar with Omegle, it is a website that allows you to chat with other users at random. Half of the users are bots (not particularly clever ones, however) and the other half are anonymous, racist douchebags who are trying to out-compete each other for the coveted title of Worst Human in the Universe. And each and every one of them is trying to have sex with you.DANCING EYES (ARC)
Lady, all night I’ve dreaming of days that you spent by my side. The best days of my life, don’t you remember? Dancing Eyes is one of those games I immediately felt I had to talk about. But now, with my fingers mercilessly tapping away at the keyboard, I don’t really know what I want to say. BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot: OH GOD WAIT. Disclaimer: T GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all futureprojects, and
AERANNIS (PC)
Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithfulrecreation.
OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as wellas a preview of
FAMILY DOG (SNES)
Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves isa little
BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:OH GOD WAIT.
MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all futureprojects, and
AERANNIS (PC)
Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithfulrecreation.
OF THE MONTH: .HACK//SIGN VOL. 1 LIMITED EDITION BOXED The box is hexagonal and has various .hack//SIGN characters on it. Inside the box are all the evils of the world, along with some hope and a bunch of .hack items to please any fan of the series. .hack//SIGN Vol. 1 – This DVD is the main item of the set. It contains the first five episodes of the .hack//SIGN TV series, as wellas a preview of
FAMILY DOG (SNES)
Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves isa little
BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:OH GOD WAIT.
MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) In fact, here’s an example of a Bible Black choice: Or: Yes, you can make decisions about who you sleep with, and yes, it does affect the ending. You can choose to give in to tempting, dark powers, or you can choose to reject their influence and struggle to walk the path of righteousness and fewer sexual partners. GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMES Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH (PC) EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH is the mouthful of a sequel to EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER. You follow the continuing adventures of the Sundown Meatpunks, a group containing Cass, Lianna, Brad, and Sam, as they journey to steal the Sun and save the world. Controls are the same—it’s a visual novel with WASD and mouse-based mecha brawling. STARBOUND: IN PERSPECTIVE Starbound went from being an improvement upon Terraria and Minecraft ‘s model to its own emergent entity. Quests, dungeons, ships! Even a new place to interact with NPCs! Some of these aren’t all that great, to be honest. Some quests require you to find really difficult things in a short period of time. The main quest is rather silly, a T-REX RUNNER (BROWSER) Deep inside Google Chrome’s coding is an Easter egg for this game called “ T-Rex ” or “ T-Rex Runner “. Essentially, whenever Google can’t connect to the Internet, it makes amends by leaving you this game to play while your computer tries to identify the problem and/or reconnect to the Internet. The game itself is extremely simple MEGA MAN 10 (WII-WW) Proto Man is smiling because he knows you'll want to play as him first. Mega Man 10 is the greatest Mega Man game of all time.. One of the statements in the sentence above is a lie. Mega Man 10 has the potential to be the greatest Mega Man game of all time, but while parts of it constitute one of the finest Mega Man experiences to date, Mega Man 10 falls extremely short in a few critical areas. YOU DON’T KNOW JACK (PS1) You Don’t Know Jack is a no-frills comical take on the trivia genre. The title plays like a game of Jeopardy!, in that one to three players compete against each other to answer various questions and gain various points. Each question is crafted carefully to combine both an element of “high culture” (read: boring stuff) and “pop culture FLASH FLOOD: MEGA MAN VERSUS EVERYONE ELSE Link vs. Zero :.. Creator: Xx-VGMaster-xX Length: Average (2-5 minutes). Description: A somewhat bloody, no-holds-barred duel to the death between Link and Zero. Review: Zero is from the Mega Man X games, so this totally goes along with the theme of “Mega Man versus everyone.” Some of the action is very cool, but there’s a notable lack of sound effects, and the video eventually takes a PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous Planet GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto theAERANNIS (PC)
Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all futureprojects, and
GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithfulrecreation.
OF THE MONTH: IRATA’S QUEST: DOOMED ISLE Atari 5200 Game I’m Helping to Create of The Month: Irata’s Quest: Doomed Isle. A little while back, I was informed by my good buddy Paul that the ruler of Mean Hamster Software was having troubles coming up with the storyline to a video game he wanted to create, entitledIrata’s Quest:
DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE ISCLOUD STRIFE AGECLOUD STRIFE ANIMECLOUD STRIFE FANARTCLOUD STRIFE FANDOMCLOUD STRIFE IMAGESHOW MANY GAMES IS CLOUD STRIFE IN Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:OH GOD WAIT.
GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto theAERANNIS (PC)
Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all futureprojects, and
GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithfulrecreation.
OF THE MONTH: IRATA’S QUEST: DOOMED ISLE Atari 5200 Game I’m Helping to Create of The Month: Irata’s Quest: Doomed Isle. A little while back, I was informed by my good buddy Paul that the ruler of Mean Hamster Software was having troubles coming up with the storyline to a video game he wanted to create, entitledIrata’s Quest:
DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE ISCLOUD STRIFE AGECLOUD STRIFE ANIMECLOUD STRIFE FANARTCLOUD STRIFE FANDOMCLOUD STRIFE IMAGESHOW MANY GAMES IS CLOUD STRIFE IN Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:OH GOD WAIT.
EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH (PC) EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH is the mouthful of a sequel to EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER. You follow the continuing adventures of the Sundown Meatpunks, a group containing Cass, Lianna, Brad, and Sam, as they journey to steal the Sun and save the world. Controls are the same—it’s a visual novel with WASD and mouse-based mecha brawling.GARRY’S MOD (PC)
I don’t have an interesting statement to start the review with, so here’s a screenshot of Lili de Rochefort as she appears in Tekken 6, being chased by three pigs from Wind Waker and a giant tank.. That image was created using Garry’s Mod.It is a completely open sandbox game, with the emphasis placed solely on you.LAST BRONX (SAT)
Last Bronx is one of those fighters that had the unfortunate fate of falling through the cracks. It is probably one of the better arcade ports within the fighter genre. It only has a few shortcomings, but they are easily overlooked once you are dragged into the greatgameplay.
GYRUSS (NES)
I’ve never been big on rail shooters, despite owning a few. I had Super R-Type for SNES and R-Type 3 for Game Boy, but I didn’t really like them a whole lot. It was frustrating for me to die and then have to go back very far, just advancing in little baby steps and taking forever to get anywhere. YOU DON’T KNOW JACK (PS1) You Don’t Know Jack is a no-frills comical take on the trivia genre. The title plays like a game of Jeopardy!, in that one to three players compete against each other to answer various questions and gain various points. Each question is crafted carefully to combine both an element of “high culture” (read: boring stuff) and “pop culture CASTLEVANIA: RONDO OF BLOOD (WII-VC) I sometimes forget that I only became as good as I am at videogames because of the formative butt-kickings of my youth. Nowadays, I can blaze through most standard-length platformers in a single sitting—my blind playthrough of Mega Pony is proof enough of that—but every once in a while, I’ll be reminded of what it took to get this far. Such was the case with Castlevania: Rondo of Blood WWF IN YOUR HOUSE (PS1) 1996 came and went during a downtime for the World Wrestling Federation: Hulk Hogan was gone and making waves in rival promotion WCW, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin had yet to prove himself as a franchise player, and Monday Night Raw was littered with superstars such as “Fake Razor Ramon,” evil hockey player “The Goon,” and guy-with-a-jockstrap-on-his-face “Aldo Montoya.” MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous PlanetFAMILY DOG (SNES)
Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves isa little
JEWEL KNIGHTS CRUSADERS (PC) Jewel Knights Crusaders, Matt Gardner, NSFW. System: PC. Genre: Role-Playing. Max Players: 1. US Release: May 2004. Developer: ZeroCool. Publisher: G-Collections. If you’re one of the many special people who have been wondering for years whether it’s possible to rape a woman and still be her friend, your long wait isfinally over. Ginji
GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto theAERANNIS (PC)
Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all futureprojects, and
GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithfulrecreation.
OF THE MONTH: IRATA’S QUEST: DOOMED ISLE Atari 5200 Game I’m Helping to Create of The Month: Irata’s Quest: Doomed Isle. A little while back, I was informed by my good buddy Paul that the ruler of Mean Hamster Software was having troubles coming up with the storyline to a video game he wanted to create, entitledIrata’s Quest:
DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE ISCLOUD STRIFE AGECLOUD STRIFE ANIMECLOUD STRIFE FANARTCLOUD STRIFE FANDOMCLOUD STRIFE IMAGESHOW MANY GAMES IS CLOUD STRIFE IN Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:OH GOD WAIT.
GAMECOLA | WE TALK ABOUT VIDEOGAMESCURRENT STAFF LISTJOSEPH MARTINTOP-RATED ARTICLESALEX JEDRASZCZAKMATT BRESLAUTERRENCE ATKINS Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Hacks'n'Slash #1: Luigi and Daisy's Journey of Love and Sadness. Dramatic readings of bad fanfiction. Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES. Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto theAERANNIS (PC)
Aerannis is an independently developed game set in the city of Plovdiv, Bulgaria, many years in the future, in a society where there’s only women. The gameplay is a mixture between that of action-heavy platformers like Metroid and Mega Man, and stealth-focused games like KONAMI IS A YAKUZA FRONT Konami Is A Yakuza Front. Organized crime in videogames? Say it ain't so! Strange things have been going on in the world of Videogames, GameCola faithful. One of the longest-running AAA third party publishers, Konami, has suddenly gone mad and is spiraling into decline. Firing Hideo Kojima, cancelling Silent Hills and all futureprojects, and
GAMES THAT SECRETLY SUCK: SCRIBBLENAUTS Of all the games that secretly suck, Scribblenauts is without a doubt the sneakiest. It is a game so secretly sucky that it has snuck its way into nearly every DS-owning house across America and is right now rearranging your sock drawer and hitting on your girlfriend. The way the game industry had been hyping up this game, you would have SNOBOW KIDS PLUS (PSX) But there is another game in this franchise, a port of Snowboard Kids to the Sony PlayStation with added features. This port is called Snobow Kids Plus. I listed this as my favorite sports game in the very first edition of “ Q&AmeCola ,” and it still is despite its glaring problems. For the most part this game is a faithfulrecreation.
OF THE MONTH: IRATA’S QUEST: DOOMED ISLE Atari 5200 Game I’m Helping to Create of The Month: Irata’s Quest: Doomed Isle. A little while back, I was informed by my good buddy Paul that the ruler of Mean Hamster Software was having troubles coming up with the storyline to a video game he wanted to create, entitledIrata’s Quest:
DISREGARD CANON, ACQUIRE REPRESENTATION: CLOUD STRIFE ISCLOUD STRIFE AGECLOUD STRIFE ANIMECLOUD STRIFE FANARTCLOUD STRIFE FANDOMCLOUD STRIFE IMAGESHOW MANY GAMES IS CLOUD STRIFE IN Final Fantasy VII is a milestone for the series, the first Final Fantasy in fully-rendered 3D, on a Sony console, and the first Final Fantasy on a CD-ROM. It featured some rather atypical elements to the Final Fantasy series, such as a more science-fiction setting and a narrative centered around a single character. Its characters, storyline, and concepts stayed with a generation and spawned WHY THE PHOENIX WRIGHT CHARACTERS WILL DIE ALONE Recently, The GameCola Podcast recorded a three-hour interview with the cast of Turnabout Musical.. The interview was a lot of fun, even though it will probably take months before we edit it all.. However, when we discussed the GCPC’s favorite joke topic—romantic relationships in the Phoenix Wright series—I couldn’t help but notice that the Turnabout Musical people took the topic PARIS HILTON’S DIAMOND QUEST (MOBILE) Really, now. Paris Hilton has been licensed to appear in a videogame? “Wow, this has got to be abysmal at best,” I thought. But you shouldn’t run entirely on first impressions, for Paris Hilton’s Diamond Quest is actually a very enjoyable game, even if it has that slutty whore copy-pasted everywhere. The main premise behind Diamond Quest is that Paris Hilton is globetrotting BIBLE BLACK: LA NOCHE DE WALPURGIS (PC) Max Players: 1. Age Rating: Adults Only. US Release: July 2000. Developer: Active. Publisher: Kitty Media. This is officially the most anticipated review in GameCola history. And it will not disappoint. Well, maybe it will, but let’s at least start off on the right foot:OH GOD WAIT.
EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH (PC) EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER: BOUND BY ASH is the mouthful of a sequel to EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER. You follow the continuing adventures of the Sundown Meatpunks, a group containing Cass, Lianna, Brad, and Sam, as they journey to steal the Sun and save the world. Controls are the same—it’s a visual novel with WASD and mouse-based mecha brawling.GARRY’S MOD (PC)
I don’t have an interesting statement to start the review with, so here’s a screenshot of Lili de Rochefort as she appears in Tekken 6, being chased by three pigs from Wind Waker and a giant tank.. That image was created using Garry’s Mod.It is a completely open sandbox game, with the emphasis placed solely on you.LAST BRONX (SAT)
Last Bronx is one of those fighters that had the unfortunate fate of falling through the cracks. It is probably one of the better arcade ports within the fighter genre. It only has a few shortcomings, but they are easily overlooked once you are dragged into the greatgameplay.
GYRUSS (NES)
I’ve never been big on rail shooters, despite owning a few. I had Super R-Type for SNES and R-Type 3 for Game Boy, but I didn’t really like them a whole lot. It was frustrating for me to die and then have to go back very far, just advancing in little baby steps and taking forever to get anywhere. YOU DON’T KNOW JACK (PS1) You Don’t Know Jack is a no-frills comical take on the trivia genre. The title plays like a game of Jeopardy!, in that one to three players compete against each other to answer various questions and gain various points. Each question is crafted carefully to combine both an element of “high culture” (read: boring stuff) and “pop culture CASTLEVANIA: RONDO OF BLOOD (WII-VC) I sometimes forget that I only became as good as I am at videogames because of the formative butt-kickings of my youth. Nowadays, I can blaze through most standard-length platformers in a single sitting—my blind playthrough of Mega Pony is proof enough of that—but every once in a while, I’ll be reminded of what it took to get this far. Such was the case with Castlevania: Rondo of Blood WWF IN YOUR HOUSE (PS1) 1996 came and went during a downtime for the World Wrestling Federation: Hulk Hogan was gone and making waves in rival promotion WCW, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin had yet to prove himself as a franchise player, and Monday Night Raw was littered with superstars such as “Fake Razor Ramon,” evil hockey player “The Goon,” and guy-with-a-jockstrap-on-his-face “Aldo Montoya.” MISS WORLD ’96 (ARCADE) The game seems to take place on one of six worlds. These must be the sentient stars that the human race created in order to escape their inevitable extinction, in existence above the cloud layer of the Quasar Nebulon. One of these worlds is the infamous PlanetFAMILY DOG (SNES)
Run away. Run far, far away! The first level is inside the house. A typical American house with a mile-long first floor with duplicate window curtains and cats, flying books, dog treats, dreidels, and other silly crap all over the floor. Behind pillars and bookshelves isa little
JEWEL KNIGHTS CRUSADERS (PC) Jewel Knights Crusaders, Matt Gardner, NSFW. System: PC. Genre: Role-Playing. Max Players: 1. US Release: May 2004. Developer: ZeroCool. Publisher: G-Collections. If you’re one of the many special people who have been wondering for years whether it’s possible to rape a woman and still be her friend, your long wait isfinally over. Ginji
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FEATURED ARTICLES
Why the Phoenix Wright Characters Will Die Alone A look at why the three main Phoenix Wright characters will be foreverdateless.
Top of the Heap: The Naughty Side of the NES Despite efforts by Nintendo to keep the NES squeaky clean, some unlicensed game developers managed leak some smuttiness onto the otherwise family-friendly system. Top of the Heap: Pokémon Games That Aren't Nine knock-off Pokémon games you probably haven't caught yet. Disregard Canon, Acquire Representation: Naoto Shirogane is aTransman
Why accept the canon explanation when the story could be so much moreinteresting?
Poker Ladies (ARC)
The classic PC game Wolfenstein invented and revolutionized the first-person shooter genre. But, in recent years, Wolfenstein has become a series of games that imitate other games, instead of comin Secret of Mana RPGCast - Part 18: The Hot Springs Episode After all they've been through, the party could use a little break.Family Dog (SNES)
One of the most wretched, nauseating games I've ever played. Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward Playthrough - Part 1: Last Ride With the Pony Pros All good things must end, and also terrible things, too, like wars and referring to yourself as the "Pony Pros". 2064: Read Only Memories (PS4) Updated for PlayStation 4 with voice acting, improved puzzles, andmore story!
Pac-Man Arrangement (PSP) A Pac-Man Arrangement:There once was a man named Pac-Man,And rehashing old games was his plan.There was no aim for fun,And his games all bar none,Were destined to enter the trash can.But Arrangement iLATEST ARTICLES
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SECRET OF MANA RPGCAST – PART 18: THE HOT SPRINGS EPISODE Podcasts by Alex Jedraszczakon May 18, 2020
After all they've been through, the party could use a little break.*
GC PODCAST #141: CROSS ANIMALS STEAL MARIO’S NEW VIDEOGAMES Podcasts by Joseph Martinon April 27, 20203
Forget news, Matt's stolen videogame story steals this months show...!*
NANCY DREW: MIDNIGHT IN SALEM (PC) Reviews by Michael Gray on February 24, 2020 After four and a half years, the newest Nancy Drew game is finally here! How does it hold up?*
SECRET OF MANA RPGCAST – PART 17: RETURN OF FLAMMIE Podcasts by Alex Jedraszczak on February 17, 2020 Our boy returns! Oh, and some other stuff happens, too.*
GC PODCAST #140: IRRATIONALLY UPSET ABOUT TEMTEM Podcasts by Joseph Martinon February 3, 2020
Joseph is irrationally upset, Jeddy struggles with being a strong, independent woman, and Anna finds her newest, truest love.*
THIS YARD HAS SALED #9: TRYING TO FEEL THE SUNSHINE Columns by Matt Breslau on January 27, 20202 Will it brighten up my day?*
SECRET OF MANA RPGCAST – PART 16: TRUCE AND LIES Podcasts by Alex Jedraszczakon January 20, 2020
It seems like it was seven months ago...but really, it was onlyyesterday!
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GC PODCAST #139: GAMES OF THE DECADE Podcasts by Joseph Martinon January 6, 2020
What games defined the 2010s?*
THE HALO MEGA BLOG: MY FORMAL APOLOGY TO HALO WARS Columns by Daniel Castroon January 3, 2020
In a twist, Daniel goes back and retracts everything bad he said about Halo Wars in an article from 2012, and provides an updated take on this game, and thoughts on the series as a whole.*
SECRET OF MANA RPGCAST: SEASON 2 PREVIEW REVUE Podcasts by Alex Jedraszczak on December 16, 2019 New episodes coming soon!POSTS NAVIGATION
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Maya Fey Reviews Phoenix Wright:Ace Attorney
Phoenix Wright's assistant, Maya Fey, reviews Phoenix Wright: AceAttorney.
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