THE EVERYWHEREIST

Take A famous person’s word for it: “Geraldine DeRuiter’s All Over the Place is a travel memoir of sorts, but I’d enjoy reading pretty much any topic she wanted to cover.Her voice is funny, witty and warm, and her stories sparkle. This book is a travel companion you’ll be happy you brought along.” WELCOME TO THE SUMMER OF AWKWARD! Not gonna lie: when you said you were having a casual "we're all vaccinated" shindig at your place, I wasn't sure what you meant? Ha, not like casual sex, right? HA ABOUT – THE EVERYWHEREIST Geraldine’s Official Bio. Geraldine DeRuiter is an acclaimed author, world-renowned public speaker, and the voice behind the award-winning Everywhereist blog. She finds it very difficult to be self-promotional, so she hopes that you understand how hard that last sentence was for her to write. (Also, this is supposed to be in third

person?

HOW TO BE CREATIVE WHEN EVERYTHING IS BAD And there is the crux of it, the catch-22 of it all. So many of us are trying to create, because it seems like the only way to make sense of this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. But it’s so hard to create right now, because of how we feel in this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. I don’t really know what the answer is. I CLEANED MY OFFICE. IT DIDN’T WORK. I Cleaned My Office. It Didn’t Work. I cleaned out my office for the first time in *mumble mumble*, the final act in a string of procrastinations masquerading as chores. With the help of a friend, I hung a painting which spent the last two years lying propped up against the wall of the guest bedroom. I dusted the baseboards, and

then I

20 THINGS YOU CAN EXPECT AFTER BRAIN SURGERY Here’s what you expect after brain surgery (according to me, at least): It takes a long time to recover. I know that probably sounds obvious, but this point took a long time to sink in. I got really impatient with myself. I kept wondering, after just a week, when I’d start to feel like myself again. WHEN AM I GOING TO FEEL NORMAL AGAIN AFTER BRAIN SURGERY For a long time, that seemed like an impossibility – it felt like my brain surgery was a defining moment in my life, if not the defining moment. It felt giant and inescapable, consuming huge parts of my personality. “I’m Geraldine. I had brain surgery.”. It THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF ROAD TRIPS If thou ist driving, thou shalt defer to the opinions of those forsaken souls in the backseat when determining vehicle climate controls. Those who are doomed to spend an eternity (or, you know, 20 minutes, but it feels like forever) burning in the hell of the backseat should be allowed full control over the A/C.; And, and one last thing you should take into account before venturing out on a KILMAINHAM GAOL (JAIL), DUBLIN, IRELAND When Kilmainham was first built, back in the late 1700s, it was a cutting-edge sort of facility. Note: in the 18th century, “cutting edge” did not mean “nice”. –. Prior to then, jails were much different. Everyone was held in one big, dank room – men, women, and even children. Yeah, that’s right – children. DEAR HOMELAND SECURITY: PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT LAST NAMES Dear Homeland Security: People with different last names CAN be related. Posted on. Feb 2, 2010. Posted in: Rants and Raves. Maiden name: Lotsa. –. Dear Dept. of Homeland Security; First off, allow me to congratulate you on the reactionary and absurd

THE EVERYWHEREIST

Take A famous person’s word for it: “Geraldine DeRuiter’s All Over the Place is a travel memoir of sorts, but I’d enjoy reading pretty much any topic she wanted to cover.Her voice is funny, witty and warm, and her stories sparkle. This book is a travel companion you’ll be happy you brought along.” WELCOME TO THE SUMMER OF AWKWARD! Not gonna lie: when you said you were having a casual "we're all vaccinated" shindig at your place, I wasn't sure what you meant? Ha, not like casual sex, right? HA ABOUT – THE EVERYWHEREIST Geraldine’s Official Bio. Geraldine DeRuiter is an acclaimed author, world-renowned public speaker, and the voice behind the award-winning Everywhereist blog. She finds it very difficult to be self-promotional, so she hopes that you understand how hard that last sentence was for her to write. (Also, this is supposed to be in third

person?

HOW TO BE CREATIVE WHEN EVERYTHING IS BAD And there is the crux of it, the catch-22 of it all. So many of us are trying to create, because it seems like the only way to make sense of this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. But it’s so hard to create right now, because of how we feel in this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. I don’t really know what the answer is. I CLEANED MY OFFICE. IT DIDN’T WORK. I Cleaned My Office. It Didn’t Work. I cleaned out my office for the first time in *mumble mumble*, the final act in a string of procrastinations masquerading as chores. With the help of a friend, I hung a painting which spent the last two years lying propped up against the wall of the guest bedroom. I dusted the baseboards, and

then I

20 THINGS YOU CAN EXPECT AFTER BRAIN SURGERY Here’s what you expect after brain surgery (according to me, at least): It takes a long time to recover. I know that probably sounds obvious, but this point took a long time to sink in. I got really impatient with myself. I kept wondering, after just a week, when I’d start to feel like myself again. WHEN AM I GOING TO FEEL NORMAL AGAIN AFTER BRAIN SURGERY For a long time, that seemed like an impossibility – it felt like my brain surgery was a defining moment in my life, if not the defining moment. It felt giant and inescapable, consuming huge parts of my personality. “I’m Geraldine. I had brain surgery.”. It THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF ROAD TRIPS If thou ist driving, thou shalt defer to the opinions of those forsaken souls in the backseat when determining vehicle climate controls. Those who are doomed to spend an eternity (or, you know, 20 minutes, but it feels like forever) burning in the hell of the backseat should be allowed full control over the A/C.; And, and one last thing you should take into account before venturing out on a KILMAINHAM GAOL (JAIL), DUBLIN, IRELAND When Kilmainham was first built, back in the late 1700s, it was a cutting-edge sort of facility. Note: in the 18th century, “cutting edge” did not mean “nice”. –. Prior to then, jails were much different. Everyone was held in one big, dank room – men, women, and even children. Yeah, that’s right – children. DEAR HOMELAND SECURITY: PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT LAST NAMES Dear Homeland Security: People with different last names CAN be related. Posted on. Feb 2, 2010. Posted in: Rants and Raves. Maiden name: Lotsa. –. Dear Dept. of Homeland Security; First off, allow me to congratulate you on the reactionary and absurd WELCOME TO THE SUMMER OF AWKWARD! Not gonna lie: when you said you were having a casual "we're all vaccinated" shindig at your place, I wasn't sure what you meant? Ha, not like casual sex, right? HA LESSER KNOWN CDC RECOMMENDATIONS FOR VACCINATED PEOPLE The CDC says fully vaccinated people can gather indoors without wearing a mask or keeping six feet apart, unless you are at an Eyes Wide Shut type party, at which point you will probably need to wear a mask, but it’s not like those cover your mouth. Having your mouth free seems to be an important part of an EWS party. MY HUSBAND’S PANDEMIC HOBBY. My Husband’s Pandemic Hobby. Look, I am going to confess something, and as I do, please, please, please do not hurl anything heavy, because odds are, due to the pandemic and the ubiquity of the internet, we will not be in the same room, and it will not hit me. You’re just going to destroy your own computer or possibly damage

something in

THE FEAR OF FEELING HOPEFUL, POST-VACCINATION Last week, a friend showed up on our doorstep. He was there to go to a birthday dinner with us, the sort of thing that was commonplace two years ago but slipped into the realm of impossibility over the last 14 months, and now, somehow, is possible again. THINGS I HAVE FALSELY CLAIMED ARE SIDE-EFFECTS OF THE Things I Have Falsely Claimed Are Side-Effects of The Covid-19 Vaccine. I got my first vaccine shot on Easter Sunday, prompting all sorts of blasphemous jokes about being resurrected from lockdown, though it’ll be another five weeks (three to my next shot, and another two after that) before all those little antibodies build up. 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO BEFORE HAVING BRAIN SURGERY I got an email the other day from someone who was about to have brain surgery. This, in and of itself, isn’t anything new – since writing about my own surgery, I get a couple of emails a week from people who are in similar (or, as is often the case, far scarier) situations.But this last email I received was a little different – the author asked me just one simple question. 7 BADASS BAVARIAN FOODS YOU MUST TRY Bavarian food doesn’t f#ck around. Bavarian food is the guy at the gym in the tiny muscle tee who’s lifting weights so heavy, the veins in his neck and head (and other parts of the body that you didn’t even know HAD veins) start to pop out. POSITANO: LAND OF A THOUSAND F*CKING STAIRS Positano: Land of a Thousand F*cking Stairs. At some point, all of the cities on the Amalfi coast started to blur, so I hope you’ll forgive me if I resort to describing all of them as “lovely” and “charming” and “like a tower of colorful stone blocks precariously piled one atop the other.”. Positano. WHY ARE SOME CROISSANTS STRAIGHT, AND OTHERS CURVED? Jan 12, 2015. 0 Comments. Posted in: Food, Somewhat Useful Info. Croissant doodles! “I wonder why some croissants are straight and others are curved.”. “It has to do with butter content.”. “Wait, what?”. “The ones that are straight are made from butter. If they’re curved, they’re made from other fats, like margarine or TEN REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T TAKE PHOTOS IN MUSEUMS I am such a wimp. But I still stand behind my convictions. And in case you would like to as well, here’s 10 reasons why taking photos of priceless works of art makes you a d-bag: It’s tacky. Seeing people running around with their cameras as they stand directly in

THE EVERYWHEREIST

Take A famous person’s word for it: “Geraldine DeRuiter’s All Over the Place is a travel memoir of sorts, but I’d enjoy reading pretty much any topic she wanted to cover.Her voice is funny, witty and warm, and her stories sparkle. This book is a travel companion you’ll be happy you brought along.” WELCOME TO THE SUMMER OF AWKWARD! Not gonna lie: when you said you were having a casual "we're all vaccinated" shindig at your place, I wasn't sure what you meant? Ha, not like casual sex, right? HA ABOUT – THE EVERYWHEREIST Geraldine’s Official Bio. Geraldine DeRuiter is an acclaimed author, world-renowned public speaker, and the voice behind the award-winning Everywhereist blog. She finds it very difficult to be self-promotional, so she hopes that you understand how hard that last sentence was for her to write. (Also, this is supposed to be in third

person?

HOW TO BE CREATIVE WHEN EVERYTHING IS BAD And there is the crux of it, the catch-22 of it all. So many of us are trying to create, because it seems like the only way to make sense of this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. But it’s so hard to create right now, because of how we feel in this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. I don’t really know what the answer is. I CLEANED MY OFFICE. IT DIDN’T WORK. I Cleaned My Office. It Didn’t Work. I cleaned out my office for the first time in *mumble mumble*, the final act in a string of procrastinations masquerading as chores. With the help of a friend, I hung a painting which spent the last two years lying propped up against the wall of the guest bedroom. I dusted the baseboards, and

then I

20 THINGS YOU CAN EXPECT AFTER BRAIN SURGERY Here’s what you expect after brain surgery (according to me, at least): It takes a long time to recover. I know that probably sounds obvious, but this point took a long time to sink in. I got really impatient with myself. I kept wondering, after just a week, when I’d start to feel like myself again. WHEN AM I GOING TO FEEL NORMAL AGAIN AFTER BRAIN SURGERY For a long time, that seemed like an impossibility – it felt like my brain surgery was a defining moment in my life, if not the defining moment. It felt giant and inescapable, consuming huge parts of my personality. “I’m Geraldine. I had brain surgery.”. It THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF ROAD TRIPS If thou ist driving, thou shalt defer to the opinions of those forsaken souls in the backseat when determining vehicle climate controls. Those who are doomed to spend an eternity (or, you know, 20 minutes, but it feels like forever) burning in the hell of the backseat should be allowed full control over the A/C.; And, and one last thing you should take into account before venturing out on a KILMAINHAM GAOL (JAIL), DUBLIN, IRELAND When Kilmainham was first built, back in the late 1700s, it was a cutting-edge sort of facility. Note: in the 18th century, “cutting edge” did not mean “nice”. –. Prior to then, jails were much different. Everyone was held in one big, dank room – men, women, and even children. Yeah, that’s right – children. DEAR HOMELAND SECURITY: PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT LAST NAMES Dear Homeland Security: People with different last names CAN be related. Posted on. Feb 2, 2010. Posted in: Rants and Raves. Maiden name: Lotsa. –. Dear Dept. of Homeland Security; First off, allow me to congratulate you on the reactionary and absurd

THE EVERYWHEREIST

Take A famous person’s word for it: “Geraldine DeRuiter’s All Over the Place is a travel memoir of sorts, but I’d enjoy reading pretty much any topic she wanted to cover.Her voice is funny, witty and warm, and her stories sparkle. This book is a travel companion you’ll be happy you brought along.” WELCOME TO THE SUMMER OF AWKWARD! Not gonna lie: when you said you were having a casual "we're all vaccinated" shindig at your place, I wasn't sure what you meant? Ha, not like casual sex, right? HA ABOUT – THE EVERYWHEREIST Geraldine’s Official Bio. Geraldine DeRuiter is an acclaimed author, world-renowned public speaker, and the voice behind the award-winning Everywhereist blog. She finds it very difficult to be self-promotional, so she hopes that you understand how hard that last sentence was for her to write. (Also, this is supposed to be in third

person?

HOW TO BE CREATIVE WHEN EVERYTHING IS BAD And there is the crux of it, the catch-22 of it all. So many of us are trying to create, because it seems like the only way to make sense of this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. But it’s so hard to create right now, because of how we feel in this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. I don’t really know what the answer is. I CLEANED MY OFFICE. IT DIDN’T WORK. I Cleaned My Office. It Didn’t Work. I cleaned out my office for the first time in *mumble mumble*, the final act in a string of procrastinations masquerading as chores. With the help of a friend, I hung a painting which spent the last two years lying propped up against the wall of the guest bedroom. I dusted the baseboards, and

then I

20 THINGS YOU CAN EXPECT AFTER BRAIN SURGERY Here’s what you expect after brain surgery (according to me, at least): It takes a long time to recover. I know that probably sounds obvious, but this point took a long time to sink in. I got really impatient with myself. I kept wondering, after just a week, when I’d start to feel like myself again. WHEN AM I GOING TO FEEL NORMAL AGAIN AFTER BRAIN SURGERY For a long time, that seemed like an impossibility – it felt like my brain surgery was a defining moment in my life, if not the defining moment. It felt giant and inescapable, consuming huge parts of my personality. “I’m Geraldine. I had brain surgery.”. It THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF ROAD TRIPS If thou ist driving, thou shalt defer to the opinions of those forsaken souls in the backseat when determining vehicle climate controls. Those who are doomed to spend an eternity (or, you know, 20 minutes, but it feels like forever) burning in the hell of the backseat should be allowed full control over the A/C.; And, and one last thing you should take into account before venturing out on a KILMAINHAM GAOL (JAIL), DUBLIN, IRELAND When Kilmainham was first built, back in the late 1700s, it was a cutting-edge sort of facility. Note: in the 18th century, “cutting edge” did not mean “nice”. –. Prior to then, jails were much different. Everyone was held in one big, dank room – men, women, and even children. Yeah, that’s right – children. DEAR HOMELAND SECURITY: PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT LAST NAMES Dear Homeland Security: People with different last names CAN be related. Posted on. Feb 2, 2010. Posted in: Rants and Raves. Maiden name: Lotsa. –. Dear Dept. of Homeland Security; First off, allow me to congratulate you on the reactionary and absurd WELCOME TO THE SUMMER OF AWKWARD! Not gonna lie: when you said you were having a casual "we're all vaccinated" shindig at your place, I wasn't sure what you meant? Ha, not like casual sex, right? HA LESSER KNOWN CDC RECOMMENDATIONS FOR VACCINATED PEOPLE The CDC says fully vaccinated people can gather indoors without wearing a mask or keeping six feet apart, unless you are at an Eyes Wide Shut type party, at which point you will probably need to wear a mask, but it’s not like those cover your mouth. Having your mouth free seems to be an important part of an EWS party. MY HUSBAND’S PANDEMIC HOBBY. My Husband’s Pandemic Hobby. Look, I am going to confess something, and as I do, please, please, please do not hurl anything heavy, because odds are, due to the pandemic and the ubiquity of the internet, we will not be in the same room, and it will not hit me. You’re just going to destroy your own computer or possibly damage

something in

THE FEAR OF FEELING HOPEFUL, POST-VACCINATION Last week, a friend showed up on our doorstep. He was there to go to a birthday dinner with us, the sort of thing that was commonplace two years ago but slipped into the realm of impossibility over the last 14 months, and now, somehow, is possible again. THINGS I HAVE FALSELY CLAIMED ARE SIDE-EFFECTS OF THE Things I Have Falsely Claimed Are Side-Effects of The Covid-19 Vaccine. I got my first vaccine shot on Easter Sunday, prompting all sorts of blasphemous jokes about being resurrected from lockdown, though it’ll be another five weeks (three to my next shot, and another two after that) before all those little antibodies build up. 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO BEFORE HAVING BRAIN SURGERY I got an email the other day from someone who was about to have brain surgery. This, in and of itself, isn’t anything new – since writing about my own surgery, I get a couple of emails a week from people who are in similar (or, as is often the case, far scarier) situations.But this last email I received was a little different – the author asked me just one simple question. 7 BADASS BAVARIAN FOODS YOU MUST TRY Bavarian food doesn’t f#ck around. Bavarian food is the guy at the gym in the tiny muscle tee who’s lifting weights so heavy, the veins in his neck and head (and other parts of the body that you didn’t even know HAD veins) start to pop out. POSITANO: LAND OF A THOUSAND F*CKING STAIRS Positano: Land of a Thousand F*cking Stairs. At some point, all of the cities on the Amalfi coast started to blur, so I hope you’ll forgive me if I resort to describing all of them as “lovely” and “charming” and “like a tower of colorful stone blocks precariously piled one atop the other.”. Positano. WHY ARE SOME CROISSANTS STRAIGHT, AND OTHERS CURVED? Jan 12, 2015. 0 Comments. Posted in: Food, Somewhat Useful Info. Croissant doodles! “I wonder why some croissants are straight and others are curved.”. “It has to do with butter content.”. “Wait, what?”. “The ones that are straight are made from butter. If they’re curved, they’re made from other fats, like margarine or TEN REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T TAKE PHOTOS IN MUSEUMS I am such a wimp. But I still stand behind my convictions. And in case you would like to as well, here’s 10 reasons why taking photos of priceless works of art makes you a d-bag: It’s tacky. Seeing people running around with their cameras as they stand directly in

THE EVERYWHEREIST

Take A famous person’s word for it: “Geraldine DeRuiter’s All Over the Place is a travel memoir of sorts, but I’d enjoy reading pretty much any topic she wanted to cover.Her voice is funny, witty and warm, and her stories sparkle. This book is a travel companion you’ll be happy you brought along.” HOW TO BE CREATIVE WHEN EVERYTHING IS BAD And there is the crux of it, the catch-22 of it all. So many of us are trying to create, because it seems like the only way to make sense of this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. But it’s so hard to create right now, because of how we feel in this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. I don’t really know what the answer is. THE FEAR OF FEELING HOPEFUL, POST-VACCINATION Last week, a friend showed up on our doorstep. He was there to go to a birthday dinner with us, the sort of thing that was commonplace two years ago but slipped into the realm of impossibility over the last 14 months, and now, somehow, is possible again. 20 THINGS YOU CAN EXPECT AFTER BRAIN SURGERY Here’s what you expect after brain surgery (according to me, at least): It takes a long time to recover. I know that probably sounds obvious, but this point took a long time to sink in. I got really impatient with myself. I kept wondering, after just a week, when I’d start to feel like myself again. WHEN AM I GOING TO FEEL NORMAL AGAIN AFTER BRAIN SURGERY For a long time, that seemed like an impossibility – it felt like my brain surgery was a defining moment in my life, if not the defining moment. It felt giant and inescapable, consuming huge parts of my personality. “I’m Geraldine. I had brain surgery.”. It THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF ROAD TRIPS If thou ist driving, thou shalt defer to the opinions of those forsaken souls in the backseat when determining vehicle climate controls. Those who are doomed to spend an eternity (or, you know, 20 minutes, but it feels like forever) burning in the hell of the backseat should be allowed full control over the A/C.; And, and one last thing you should take into account before venturing out on a BRAIN SURGERY: 1 YEAR LATER Brain Surgery: 1 Year Later. Things are different now. I feel like I could make a note in the timeline of my life to reflect this. “Here is everything that happened before brain surgery. Here’s everything after.”. I have trouble with this; I’ve never been that good with change. I like things to stay as they are. POSITANO: LAND OF A THOUSAND F*CKING STAIRS Positano: Land of a Thousand F*cking Stairs. At some point, all of the cities on the Amalfi coast started to blur, so I hope you’ll forgive me if I resort to describing all of them as “lovely” and “charming” and “like a tower of colorful stone blocks precariously piled one atop the other.”. Positano. TRAVEL LIFE HACK: WASHING/DRYING YOUR CLOTHES IN A HOTEL Take your hopefully-now-just-a-little-damp clothes and drape them over the towel warmer, like so: (Now the entire internet knows I have pink underwear.) Try to get as much surface area of the clothes in contact with the heated pipe as possible. (Again, this totally sounds pervy.) You’ll find that the heat will dry your clothes in just a few DEAR HOMELAND SECURITY: PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT LAST NAMES Dear Homeland Security: People with different last names CAN be related. Posted on. Feb 2, 2010. Posted in: Rants and Raves. Maiden name: Lotsa. –. Dear Dept. of Homeland Security; First off, allow me to congratulate you on the reactionary and absurd

THE EVERYWHEREIST

Take A famous person’s word for it: “Geraldine DeRuiter’s All Over the Place is a travel memoir of sorts, but I’d enjoy reading pretty much any topic she wanted to cover.Her voice is funny, witty and warm, and her stories sparkle. This book is a travel companion you’ll be happy you brought along.” HOW TO BE CREATIVE WHEN EVERYTHING IS BAD And there is the crux of it, the catch-22 of it all. So many of us are trying to create, because it seems like the only way to make sense of this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. But it’s so hard to create right now, because of how we feel in this lonely, sad, impossible moment in time. I don’t really know what the answer is. THE FEAR OF FEELING HOPEFUL, POST-VACCINATION Last week, a friend showed up on our doorstep. He was there to go to a birthday dinner with us, the sort of thing that was commonplace two years ago but slipped into the realm of impossibility over the last 14 months, and now, somehow, is possible again. 20 THINGS YOU CAN EXPECT AFTER BRAIN SURGERY Here’s what you expect after brain surgery (according to me, at least): It takes a long time to recover. I know that probably sounds obvious, but this point took a long time to sink in. I got really impatient with myself. I kept wondering, after just a week, when I’d start to feel like myself again. WHEN AM I GOING TO FEEL NORMAL AGAIN AFTER BRAIN SURGERY For a long time, that seemed like an impossibility – it felt like my brain surgery was a defining moment in my life, if not the defining moment. It felt giant and inescapable, consuming huge parts of my personality. “I’m Geraldine. I had brain surgery.”. It THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF ROAD TRIPS If thou ist driving, thou shalt defer to the opinions of those forsaken souls in the backseat when determining vehicle climate controls. Those who are doomed to spend an eternity (or, you know, 20 minutes, but it feels like forever) burning in the hell of the backseat should be allowed full control over the A/C.; And, and one last thing you should take into account before venturing out on a BRAIN SURGERY: 1 YEAR LATER Brain Surgery: 1 Year Later. Things are different now. I feel like I could make a note in the timeline of my life to reflect this. “Here is everything that happened before brain surgery. Here’s everything after.”. I have trouble with this; I’ve never been that good with change. I like things to stay as they are. POSITANO: LAND OF A THOUSAND F*CKING STAIRS Positano: Land of a Thousand F*cking Stairs. At some point, all of the cities on the Amalfi coast started to blur, so I hope you’ll forgive me if I resort to describing all of them as “lovely” and “charming” and “like a tower of colorful stone blocks precariously piled one atop the other.”. Positano. TRAVEL LIFE HACK: WASHING/DRYING YOUR CLOTHES IN A HOTEL Take your hopefully-now-just-a-little-damp clothes and drape them over the towel warmer, like so: (Now the entire internet knows I have pink underwear.) Try to get as much surface area of the clothes in contact with the heated pipe as possible. (Again, this totally sounds pervy.) You’ll find that the heat will dry your clothes in just a few DEAR HOMELAND SECURITY: PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT LAST NAMES Dear Homeland Security: People with different last names CAN be related. Posted on. Feb 2, 2010. Posted in: Rants and Raves. Maiden name: Lotsa. –. Dear Dept. of Homeland Security; First off, allow me to congratulate you on the reactionary and absurd ABOUT – THE EVERYWHEREIST Geraldine’s Official Bio. Geraldine DeRuiter is an acclaimed author, world-renowned public speaker, and the voice behind the award-winning Everywhereist blog. She finds it very difficult to be self-promotional, so she hopes that you understand how hard that last sentence was for her to write. (Also, this is supposed to be in third

person?

THE FEAR OF FEELING HOPEFUL, POST-VACCINATION Last week, a friend showed up on our doorstep. He was there to go to a birthday dinner with us, the sort of thing that was commonplace two years ago but slipped into the realm of impossibility over the last 14 months, and now, somehow, is possible again. 24 TIPS FOR VISITING AN ITALIAN FAMILY Espresso will be offered to you in the morning. Also at 10am, noon, 3pm, 5pm, and 8pm. You will be expected to partake in at least half of these opportunities. –. Should you get the shakes after consuming half a gallon of coffee, expect several people to DRIVING THE AMALFI COAST HIGHWAY We rented a car to drive along the Amalfi Coast Highway – a femme fatale of a road, beautiful, untrustworthy, absurdly dangerous. The rental car agency had only one automatic in their fleet – by Italian standards, it was a lumbering beast of a vehicle. I TRY THREADING. MY MUSTACHE REMAINS. The genes for having a teeny tiny mustache are carried on the X chromosomes of both sides of my family. Over the years, I’ve tried lots of depilatory tactics. Including: Being waxed by a number of professionals, including one stocky Russian woman who stared at my legs and said, “You have ingrown hair. Is your fault.”. I HAVE A JAMES BEARD AWARD AND I THINK YOU ARE SO GREAT My writing pitches don’t get accepted often. Sometimes an editor will contact me directly, and I’ll send them a piece, and if it gets published, it may do quite well (my piece on bullying for The Washington Post was an example of that), but it rarely gets to that point.More often than not, I’ll send stuff out and either get a rejection or, worse still, I’ll hear nothing at all. WHY ARE SOME CROISSANTS STRAIGHT, AND OTHERS CURVED? Jan 12, 2015. 0 Comments. Posted in: Food, Somewhat Useful Info. Croissant doodles! “I wonder why some croissants are straight and others are curved.”. “It has to do with butter content.”. “Wait, what?”. “The ones that are straight are made from butter. If they’re curved, they’re made from other fats, like margarine or WTF WEDS: GUINNESS AND BLACKCURRANT JUICE They spoke of work, of life, and of beer. Someone explained that in in Ireland, the traditional way to stave off a hangover is to end the night with a shot of blackcurrant juice. And someone else noted that it can even be added to a pint of Guinness, giving the porter a sweet and fruity twist. This suggestion shocked and horrified a few people. WTF WEDS: SOUTH AFRICAN FUDGE WTF Weds: South African Fudge. I’m having a brief moment of wakefulness right now. I haven’t had too many of those as of late. I’ve gone through the last few days in the fog of jetlag, waking up at 4 in the morning and crashing (heavily) around 7 or 8pm. My body and my brain are making it painfully clear that I can’t travel like

I used to.

WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING IN ROSEBURG, OR? What the hell are we doing in Roseburg, OR? Posted on. Sep 30, 2009. Posted in: City Guide, Local Color, WTF. We headed down to Ashland a few weeks ago to celebrate our anniversary. On the way there, we decided to stop in Roseburg, since we remembered some friends of ours had stopped there while driving down to our wedding.

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ALL OVER THE PLACE

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I wrote a book about getting lost and finding yourself and also peeing on things when you are angry. If you liked _Twilight_, you will probably hate my book.

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“Geraldine DeRuiter’s _All Over the Place_ is a travel memoir of sorts, but I’d enjoy reading pretty much any topic she wanted to cover. Her voice is funny, witty and warm, and her stories sparkle. This book is a travel companion you’ll be happy you brought

along.”

~ Lauren Graham, star of _GILMORE GIRLS_ and New York Times bestselling author of _TALKING AS FAST AS I CAN_ Need more convincing? READ A DELETED CHAPTER >

THE BLOG

JUST WEAR A GODDAMN MASK ALREADY.

Posted on

May 26, 2020

11

Posted in: Personal Essay Last week, my kitchen sink collapsed. It fell from the bolts that held it, as though in protest, as though it, too, had had enough of the endless dishes and cooking. I managed to catch the edge of it, sharp even through my yellow latex gloves, and held it up with my

fingers and…

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SEEING THROUGH THE FOG.

Posted on

May 13, 2020

6

Posted in: Random Musings

, Writing

I’ve been staring at my computer a lot. If I do manage to type something, I will usually delete or loathe it by the day’s end. Writer’s block doesn’t really cover what I’m feeling, because it’s not really a block. A block implies something complete and impenetrable, and this isn’t. Someone recently said that

writer’s…

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IT’S OKAY IF YOU CAN’T RIGHT NOW

Posted on

Apr 17, 2020

9

Posted in: Personal Essay

, Random Musings

I woke up this morning, our sixth week of sheltering-in-place, or maybe our seventh (I’ve lost count) and the days have started to run together in a way they never have before. I thought time only worked like that in memory. When I think of the summer after high school or Christmas breaks when I…

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THIS TOO WILL PASS.

Posted on

Apr 3, 2020

9

Posted in: Personal Essay

, Random Musings

Social isolation has sort of felt like a break-up – a sensation that, after nearly 20 years with my husband, returns to me like a hazy, rotten memory. “Oh, this,” I think, as I pull myself out of bed, forgetting what day it is, and mash an OREO into my maw. “I remember this. It…

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A SEATTLE GERMAPHOBE IN THE TIME OF CORONAVIRUS

Posted on

Mar 12, 2020

3

Posted in: Personal Essay

, Random Musings

My city feels strangely still right now. I normally hear the sounds from the elementary school nearby, or people walking their dogs, the swish of cars driving by on the street. But it’s oddly quiet at the moment, the only sound the squawking from a few irritable crows whose life mission is to make sure…

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ABOUT THE EVERYWHEREIST

Hi, I'm Geraldine.

TIME Magazine called this blog “consistently clever” (no shit. This happened). Here’s the story of how it came to be, and a brief rundown of what’s wrong with me.

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