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Academic Definition and History of the Term "Emotional Intelligence" In 1985 Wayne Leon Payne, then a graduate student at an alternative liberal arts college in the USA, wrote a doctoral dissertation which included the term "emotional intelligence" in the title. This seems to be the first academic use of the term "emotional intelligence." SIGNS OF HIGH AND LOW EQ Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org : Signs of Low EQ - Or Unhealthy Development of Innate Emotional Intelligence. A person with Low EQ: Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them. CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTOINALLY ABUSED PEOPLE Feel different from others. Are extremely loyal, even when facing overwhelming evidence that their loyalty is undeserved. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible. Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences.EMOTIONAL LITERACY
There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and most practical is this: The ability to express feelings with specific feeling words, in 3 word sentences. (S. Hein, 1996) For example, "I feel rejected." This seems to be the WAYNE PAYNE'S DOCTORAL DISSERTATION ABOUT EMOTION AND 3. By providing concepts, methods and tools for developing emotional intelligence. Then in the final line of the abstract Wayne says emotional intelligence "involves relating creatively to fear, pain and desire" and says his dissertation offers guidance on "how to relate to them in emotionally intelligent ways." NEGATIVE FEELING WORDS Negative Feeling Words. Here you will find part of the world's longest and, we believe, best list of negative feeling words, or words describing negative emotions. The full list is over 600 words. The words in letters A-S are shown here. We will send the complete file via email for $5.00 (US).ACTIVE LISTENING
s1 ACTIVE LISTENING by Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson Excerpt from Communicating in Business Today R.G. Newman, M.A. Danzinger, M.Cohen (eds)
COMMON NEGATIVE/PAINFUL FEELINGS Emotional Intelligence | Stevehein.com. Common Negative/Painful Feelings. See also long list of more feeling words . Note from Steve - Since I created this list I have decided it is more useful to think of these feelings as painful rather than "negative." TEACHER STUDENT CONTRACT Teacher Student Contract. Rules For the Students. 1. Students will listen when the teacher says "be quiet." 2. Students will do their homework. 3. Students will keep their handouts in a file. All theirhandouts!
EMOTIONAL LITERACY
Definition of Emotional Literacy There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and mostpractical is this:
HISTORY AND DEFINITION OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEDEFINITIONSJOURNALARTICLESCONTACT
Academic Definition and History of the Term "Emotional Intelligence" In 1985 Wayne Leon Payne, then a graduate student at an alternative liberal arts college in the USA, wrote a doctoral dissertation which included the term "emotional intelligence" in the title. This seems to be the first academic use of the term "emotional intelligence." SIGNS OF HIGH AND LOW EQ Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org : Signs of Low EQ - Or Unhealthy Development of Innate Emotional Intelligence. A person with Low EQ: Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them. CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTOINALLY ABUSED PEOPLE Feel different from others. Are extremely loyal, even when facing overwhelming evidence that their loyalty is undeserved. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible. Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences.EMOTIONAL LITERACY
There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and most practical is this: The ability to express feelings with specific feeling words, in 3 word sentences. (S. Hein, 1996) For example, "I feel rejected." This seems to be the WAYNE PAYNE'S DOCTORAL DISSERTATION ABOUT EMOTION AND 3. By providing concepts, methods and tools for developing emotional intelligence. Then in the final line of the abstract Wayne says emotional intelligence "involves relating creatively to fear, pain and desire" and says his dissertation offers guidance on "how to relate to them in emotionally intelligent ways." NEGATIVE FEELING WORDS Negative Feeling Words. Here you will find part of the world's longest and, we believe, best list of negative feeling words, or words describing negative emotions. The full list is over 600 words. The words in letters A-S are shown here. We will send the complete file via email for $5.00 (US).ACTIVE LISTENING
s1 ACTIVE LISTENING by Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson Excerpt from Communicating in Business Today R.G. Newman, M.A. Danzinger, M.Cohen (eds)
COMMON NEGATIVE/PAINFUL FEELINGS Emotional Intelligence | Stevehein.com. Common Negative/Painful Feelings. See also long list of more feeling words . Note from Steve - Since I created this list I have decided it is more useful to think of these feelings as painful rather than "negative." TEACHER STUDENT CONTRACT Teacher Student Contract. Rules For the Students. 1. Students will listen when the teacher says "be quiet." 2. Students will do their homework. 3. Students will keep their handouts in a file. All theirhandouts!
EMOTIONAL LITERACY
Definition of Emotional Literacy There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and mostpractical is this:
SIGNS OF HIGH AND LOW EQ Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org : Signs of Low EQ - Or Unhealthy Development of Innate Emotional Intelligence. A person with Low EQ: Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them. UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS Some of our emotional needs are to feel accepted, appreciated, important, valued, cared about, understood. When we don't feel enough of one of these, we have an "unment emotional need." Here is a list of human emotional needs. Social problems generally come either directly or indirectly from unmet needs. Some of these social problems comewhen
RIGHTS VS. NEEDS
My early writing on Rights vs. Needs (Reprinted from EQ for Everybody, 1996, Chapter Six, with minor edits). One of the major problems in democratic societies is the confusion between needs and rights. NEGATIVE FEELING WORDS Negative Feeling Words. Here you will find part of the world's longest and, we believe, best list of negative feeling words, or words describing negative emotions. The full list is over 600 words. The words in letters A-S are shown here. We will send the complete file via email for $5.00 (US). THE NEW SCIENCE OF FEELINGS EQI.org Home | . The New Science of Feelings. Mar 8 - This article has been bothering me for several days. I wonder now if that means I am "slow to recover" or if perhaps it means there is something very, very wrong with the article's thesis.ACTIVE LISTENING
s1 ACTIVE LISTENING by Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson Excerpt from Communicating in Business Today R.G. Newman, M.A. Danzinger, M.Cohen (eds)
JULIET - EQI
JULIET. Good father, I beseech you on my knees, Hear me with patience but to speak a word. CAPULET. Hang thee, young baggage! Disobedient wretch! I tell thee what: get thee to church o' Thursday, Or never after look me in the face: Speak not, reply not, do not answer me;FABER & MAZLISH
Notes. Note about anger and defensiveness. Notice that the author says "angry." I suspect a more precise feeling word would be defensive.As I discuss in my section on anger, anger is what I and other authors call a "secondary emotion."In other words there is a primary, more specific feeling which comes first; one which undelies or which triggers the more intense physiological reaction we call LEARNED HELPLESSNESS, LEARNED POWERLESSNESS This is from the Wikipedia entry (Jan 2008) on learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is a psychological condition in which a human being or an animal has learned to believe that it is helpless in a particular situation. It has come to believe that it has no control over its situation and that whatever itJOHN GOTTMAN
The Heart of Parenting: Raising and Emotionally Intelligent Child, John Gottman. Here are my notes from when I read the book in 1997. Mostly they are quotes from the book, with a few of my own ideas, thoughts and comments sprinkled here and there. If you see "sph" (my initials), it is definitely my comment. INDEX EQI.ORGABUSEANGERCARINGCOMMON "NEGATIVE" OR PAINFUL FEELINGSCONFLICT RESOLUTIONCUTTING, SELF HARM Here is something Wikipedia says about that: "The Iraq War[ was a protracted armed conflict that began in 2003 with the invasion of Iraq by a United States-led coalition that overthrew the government of Saddam Hussein. The conflict continued for much of the next decade." --- So you see they call it an invasion, a war, an armed confict andthen
SIGNS OF HIGH AND LOW EQ Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org : Signs of Low EQ - Or Unhealthy Development of Innate Emotional Intelligence. A person with Low EQ: Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them. HISTORY AND DEFINITION OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Academic Definition and History of the Term "Emotional Intelligence" In 1985 Wayne Leon Payne, then a graduate student at an alternative liberal arts college in the USA, wrote a doctoral dissertation which included the term "emotional intelligence" in the title. This seems to be the first academic use of the term "emotional intelligence." CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTOINALLY ABUSED PEOPLE Feel different from others. Are extremely loyal, even when facing overwhelming evidence that their loyalty is undeserved. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible. Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences.FOUR BRANCH MODEL
Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org. The 1997 Mayer-Salovey 4 Branch Model of Emotional Intelligence. In a 1997 article Mayer and Salovey listed what they call the four "branches" of emotional intelligence: 1. Perception, Appraisal and Expression ofEmotion. 2.
RIGHTS VS. NEEDS
The teacher can take away the student's right to get up, leave class and get a drink of water, but she can't take away his need for the water. So this is a basic difference between rights and needs. Needs can't be taken away. Rights are not gifts given by governments. TOP 10 EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF CHILDREN Emotional Need #9 - Power-Sharing. It is normal for emotionally healthy children to "fight" with their parents as they mature, continually pushing the boundaries to gain more personal freedom and control over their lives. It is the natural expression of a child's journey toward full independence in adulthood. FEELING SMART ARTICLE BY GREWEL AND SALOVY Emotional Intelligence | Stevehein.com. Copy of ariticle by Grewel and Salovey from Keep Smart. Feeling smart: the science of emotional intelligence; A new idea in psychology has matured and shows promise of explaining how attending to emotions can help us in WAYNE PAYNE'S DOCTORAL DISSERTATION ABOUT EMOTION AND 3. By providing concepts, methods and tools for developing emotional intelligence. Then in the final line of the abstract Wayne says emotional intelligence "involves relating creatively to fear, pain and desire" and says his dissertation offers guidance on "how to relate to them in emotionally intelligent ways." COMMON NEGATIVE/PAINFUL FEELINGS Emotional Intelligence | Stevehein.com. Common Negative/Painful Feelings. See also long list of more feeling words . Note from Steve - Since I created this list I have decided it is more useful to think of these feelings as painful rather than "negative." INDEX EQI.ORGABUSEANGERCARINGCOMMON "NEGATIVE" OR PAINFUL FEELINGSCONFLICT RESOLUTIONCUTTING, SELF HARM Here is something Wikipedia says about that: "The Iraq War[ was a protracted armed conflict that began in 2003 with the invasion of Iraq by a United States-led coalition that overthrew the government of Saddam Hussein. The conflict continued for much of the next decade." --- So you see they call it an invasion, a war, an armed confict andthen
SIGNS OF HIGH AND LOW EQ Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org : Signs of Low EQ - Or Unhealthy Development of Innate Emotional Intelligence. A person with Low EQ: Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them. HISTORY AND DEFINITION OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Academic Definition and History of the Term "Emotional Intelligence" In 1985 Wayne Leon Payne, then a graduate student at an alternative liberal arts college in the USA, wrote a doctoral dissertation which included the term "emotional intelligence" in the title. This seems to be the first academic use of the term "emotional intelligence." CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTOINALLY ABUSED PEOPLE Feel different from others. Are extremely loyal, even when facing overwhelming evidence that their loyalty is undeserved. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible. Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences.FOUR BRANCH MODEL
Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org. The 1997 Mayer-Salovey 4 Branch Model of Emotional Intelligence. In a 1997 article Mayer and Salovey listed what they call the four "branches" of emotional intelligence: 1. Perception, Appraisal and Expression ofEmotion. 2.
RIGHTS VS. NEEDS
The teacher can take away the student's right to get up, leave class and get a drink of water, but she can't take away his need for the water. So this is a basic difference between rights and needs. Needs can't be taken away. Rights are not gifts given by governments. TOP 10 EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF CHILDREN Emotional Need #9 - Power-Sharing. It is normal for emotionally healthy children to "fight" with their parents as they mature, continually pushing the boundaries to gain more personal freedom and control over their lives. It is the natural expression of a child's journey toward full independence in adulthood. FEELING SMART ARTICLE BY GREWEL AND SALOVY Emotional Intelligence | Stevehein.com. Copy of ariticle by Grewel and Salovey from Keep Smart. Feeling smart: the science of emotional intelligence; A new idea in psychology has matured and shows promise of explaining how attending to emotions can help us in WAYNE PAYNE'S DOCTORAL DISSERTATION ABOUT EMOTION AND 3. By providing concepts, methods and tools for developing emotional intelligence. Then in the final line of the abstract Wayne says emotional intelligence "involves relating creatively to fear, pain and desire" and says his dissertation offers guidance on "how to relate to them in emotionally intelligent ways." COMMON NEGATIVE/PAINFUL FEELINGS Emotional Intelligence | Stevehein.com. Common Negative/Painful Feelings. See also long list of more feeling words . Note from Steve - Since I created this list I have decided it is more useful to think of these feelings as painful rather than "negative."INDEX EQI.ORG
Here is something Wikipedia says about that: "The Iraq War[ was a protracted armed conflict that began in 2003 with the invasion of Iraq by a United States-led coalition that overthrew the government of Saddam Hussein. The conflict continued for much of the next decade." --- So you see they call it an invasion, a war, an armed confict andthen
HISTORY AND DEFINITION OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Academic Definition and History of the Term "Emotional Intelligence" In 1985 Wayne Leon Payne, then a graduate student at an alternative liberal arts college in the USA, wrote a doctoral dissertation which included the term "emotional intelligence" in the title. This seems to be the first academic use of the term "emotional intelligence."EMOTIONAL LITERACY
There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and most practical is this: The ability to express feelings with specific feeling words, in 3 word sentences. (S. Hein, 1996) For example, "I feel rejected." This seems to be the CRITICAL REVIEW OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TESTS Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org. Introduction. At this time I do not support, endorse or recommend any of the so-called emotional intelligence (EI) tests. For a few years I thought the tests developed by Mayer, Salovey and Caruso, such as the MSCEIT, were worthy of being called tests of EI, but I have changed my mind. TOP 10 EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF CHILDREN Emotional Need #9 - Power-Sharing. It is normal for emotionally healthy children to "fight" with their parents as they mature, continually pushing the boundaries to gain more personal freedom and control over their lives. It is the natural expression of a child's journey toward full independence in adulthood. THE NEW SCIENCE OF FEELINGS EQI.org Home | . The New Science of Feelings. Mar 8 - This article has been bothering me for several days. I wonder now if that means I am "slow to recover" or if perhaps it means there is something very, very wrong with the article's thesis. EDITORIAL ABOUT EI CLAIMS Here is one part of this critique: 1. Misleading claims about the power and predictive ability of EI. In his 1995 book Goleman told us that IQ only contributes to "at best" 20% of "factors that determine life success." He implies, and let's us believe that EI accounts forthe other 80%.
TEACHER STUDENT CONTRACT Teacher Student Contract. Rules For the Students. 1. Students will listen when the teacher says "be quiet." 2. Students will do their homework. 3. Students will keep their handouts in a file. All theirhandouts!
WORK OF ALICE MILLER ON EMOTIONS, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS 1. All children are born to grow, to develop, to live, to love, and to articulate their needs and feelings for their self-protection. 2. For their development, children need to the respect and protection of adults who take them seriously, love them, and honestly help them to become oriented in the world. 3.JOHN GOTTMAN
The Heart of Parenting: Raising and Emotionally Intelligent Child, John Gottman. Here are my notes from when I read the book in 1997. Mostly they are quotes from the book, with a few of my own ideas, thoughts and comments sprinkled here and there. If you see "sph" (my initials), it is definitely my comment. SIGNS OF HIGH AND LOW EQ Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org : Signs of Low EQ - Or Unhealthy Development of Innate Emotional Intelligence. A person with Low EQ: Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them. CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTOINALLY ABUSED PEOPLESEARCH EQIEMPATHYLISTENINGPERSONAL GROWTHHUGSPARENTING Feel different from others. Are extremely loyal, even when facing overwhelming evidence that their loyalty is undeserved. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible. Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 1990 ARTICLE BY SALOVEY AND MAYER Emotional Intelligence -1990 Article. Peter Salovey, & John D. Mayer-- Imagination, Cognition, and Personality (1990),9, 185-211. The abstract reads: This article presents a framework for emotional intelligence, a set of skills hypothesized to contribute to the accurate appraisal and expression of emotion in oneself and in others,the effective
REUVEN BAR-ON
Reuven BarOn is a pioneer and internationally acknowledged expert in emotional intelligence. He has been involved in defining, measuring and applying this concept since 1980. He coined the term "EQ" and created the EQ-i , which is the first andEMOTIONAL LITERACY
There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and most practical is this: The ability to express feelings with specific feeling words, in 3 word sentences. (S. Hein, 1996) For example, "I feel rejected." This seems to be the WAYNE PAYNE'S DOCTORAL DISSERTATION ABOUT EMOTION AND 3. By providing concepts, methods and tools for developing emotional intelligence. Then in the final line of the abstract Wayne says emotional intelligence "involves relating creatively to fear, pain and desire" and says his dissertation offers guidance on "how to relate to them in emotionally intelligent ways."ACTIVE LISTENING
s1 ACTIVE LISTENING by Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson Excerpt from Communicating in Business Today R.G. Newman, M.A. Danzinger, M.Cohen (eds)
TEACHER STUDENT CONTRACT Teacher Student Contract. Rules For the Students. 1. Students will listen when the teacher says "be quiet." 2. Students will do their homework. 3. Students will keep their handouts in a file. All theirhandouts!
EDITORIAL ABOUT EI CLAIMS Here is one part of this critique: 1. Misleading claims about the power and predictive ability of EI. In his 1995 book Goleman told us that IQ only contributes to "at best" 20% of "factors that determine life success." He implies, and let's us believe that EI accounts forthe other 80%.
FABER & MAZLISH
Notes. Note about anger and defensiveness. Notice that the author says "angry." I suspect a more precise feeling word would be defensive.As I discuss in my section on anger, anger is what I and other authors call a "secondary emotion."In other words there is a primary, more specific feeling which comes first; one which undelies or which triggers the more intense physiological reaction we call SIGNS OF HIGH AND LOW EQ Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org : Signs of Low EQ - Or Unhealthy Development of Innate Emotional Intelligence. A person with Low EQ: Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them. CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTOINALLY ABUSED PEOPLESEARCH EQIEMPATHYLISTENINGPERSONAL GROWTHHUGSPARENTING Feel different from others. Are extremely loyal, even when facing overwhelming evidence that their loyalty is undeserved. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible. Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 1990 ARTICLE BY SALOVEY AND MAYER Emotional Intelligence -1990 Article. Peter Salovey, & John D. Mayer-- Imagination, Cognition, and Personality (1990),9, 185-211. The abstract reads: This article presents a framework for emotional intelligence, a set of skills hypothesized to contribute to the accurate appraisal and expression of emotion in oneself and in others,the effective
REUVEN BAR-ON
Reuven BarOn is a pioneer and internationally acknowledged expert in emotional intelligence. He has been involved in defining, measuring and applying this concept since 1980. He coined the term "EQ" and created the EQ-i , which is the first andEMOTIONAL LITERACY
There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and most practical is this: The ability to express feelings with specific feeling words, in 3 word sentences. (S. Hein, 1996) For example, "I feel rejected." This seems to be the WAYNE PAYNE'S DOCTORAL DISSERTATION ABOUT EMOTION AND 3. By providing concepts, methods and tools for developing emotional intelligence. Then in the final line of the abstract Wayne says emotional intelligence "involves relating creatively to fear, pain and desire" and says his dissertation offers guidance on "how to relate to them in emotionally intelligent ways."ACTIVE LISTENING
s1 ACTIVE LISTENING by Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson Excerpt from Communicating in Business Today R.G. Newman, M.A. Danzinger, M.Cohen (eds)
TEACHER STUDENT CONTRACT Teacher Student Contract. Rules For the Students. 1. Students will listen when the teacher says "be quiet." 2. Students will do their homework. 3. Students will keep their handouts in a file. All theirhandouts!
EDITORIAL ABOUT EI CLAIMS Here is one part of this critique: 1. Misleading claims about the power and predictive ability of EI. In his 1995 book Goleman told us that IQ only contributes to "at best" 20% of "factors that determine life success." He implies, and let's us believe that EI accounts forthe other 80%.
FABER & MAZLISH
Notes. Note about anger and defensiveness. Notice that the author says "angry." I suspect a more precise feeling word would be defensive.As I discuss in my section on anger, anger is what I and other authors call a "secondary emotion."In other words there is a primary, more specific feeling which comes first; one which undelies or which triggers the more intense physiological reaction we callEMOTIONAL LITERACY
There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and most practical is this: The ability to express feelings with specific feeling words, in 3 word sentences. (S. Hein, 1996) For example, "I feel rejected." This seems to be theEMOTIONAL HONESTY
Emotional honesty means expressing your true feelings. To be emotionally honest we must first be emotionally aware. This emotional awareness is related to our emotional intelligence. It is our emotional intelligence, combined with the necessary learning, practice and experience, which gives us the ability to accurately identify ourfeelings.
REUVEN BAR-ON
Reuven BarOn is a pioneer and internationally acknowledged expert in emotional intelligence. He has been involved in defining, measuring and applying this concept since 1980. He coined the term "EQ" and created the EQ-i , which is the first and UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS Some of our emotional needs are to feel accepted, appreciated, important, valued, cared about, understood. When we don't feel enough of one of these, we have an "unment emotional need." Here is a list of human emotional needs. Social problems generally come either directly or indirectly from unmet needs. Some of these social problems comewhen
RIGHTS VS. NEEDS
The teacher can take away the student's right to get up, leave class and get a drink of water, but she can't take away his need for the water. So this is a basic difference between rights and needs. Needs can't be taken away. Rights are not gifts given by governments. EDITORIAL ABOUT EI CLAIMS Here is one part of this critique: 1. Misleading claims about the power and predictive ability of EI. In his 1995 book Goleman told us that IQ only contributes to "at best" 20% of "factors that determine life success." He implies, and let's us believe that EI accounts forthe other 80%.
NIGEL LATTA'S EMOTIONAL PUNISHMENT ADVICE FOR PARENTS Online Consulting, Counseling Coaching from EQI.org. Related Links. For parents seeking advice, I can highly recommend the work of Haim Ginott, Thomas Gordon and John Gottman, Alfie Kohn and Maria Montessori See also our parenting page.. If you live in New Zealand and are interested in positive parenting without using punishment, please contact me and I can put you in touch with some EMOTIONAL ABUSE VS. EMOTIONAL NEGLECT Emotional Abuse vs. Emotional Neglect. If I don't feed my child it will die from neglect. But if I feed it with toxic food, it could live a long life, but be deformed and damaged forever. That helps us see the difference between emotional neglect and emotional abuse. If I am an absent father, if I move away, and I never hug my child or spendEMOTIONAL LITERACY
Definition of Emotional Literacy There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and mostpractical is this:
CHILDHOOD ORIGINS OF SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR VAN DER Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission. Created Date /06/-11-1T3::29::
INDEX EQI.ORGABUSEANGERCARINGCOMMON "NEGATIVE" OR PAINFUL FEELINGSCONFLICT RESOLUTIONCUTTING, SELF HARM Here is something Wikipedia says about that: "The Iraq War[ was a protracted armed conflict that began in 2003 with the invasion of Iraq by a United States-led coalition that overthrew the government of Saddam Hussein. The conflict continued for much of the next decade." --- So you see they call it an invasion, a war, an armed confict andthen
CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTOINALLY ABUSED PEOPLESEARCH EQIEMPATHYLISTENINGPERSONAL GROWTHHUGSPARENTING Feel different from others. Are extremely loyal, even when facing overwhelming evidence that their loyalty is undeserved. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible. Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. THE NEW SCIENCE OF FEELINGS EQI.org Home | . The New Science of Feelings. Mar 8 - This article has been bothering me for several days. I wonder now if that means I am "slow to recover" or if perhaps it means there is something very, very wrong with the article's thesis.EMOTIONAL LITERACY
There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and most practical is this: The ability to express feelings with specific feeling words, in 3 word sentences. (S. Hein, 1996) For example, "I feel rejected." This seems to be the TOP 10 EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF CHILDREN Emotional Need #9 - Power-Sharing. It is normal for emotionally healthy children to "fight" with their parents as they mature, continually pushing the boundaries to gain more personal freedom and control over their lives. It is the natural expression of a child's journey toward full independence in adulthood. UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS Some of our emotional needs are to feel accepted, appreciated, important, valued, cared about, understood. When we don't feel enough of one of these, we have an "unment emotional need." Here is a list of human emotional needs. Social problems generally come either directly or indirectly from unmet needs. Some of these social problems comewhen
WAYNE PAYNE'S DOCTORAL DISSERTATION ABOUT EMOTION AND 3. By providing concepts, methods and tools for developing emotional intelligence. Then in the final line of the abstract Wayne says emotional intelligence "involves relating creatively to fear, pain and desire" and says his dissertation offers guidance on "how to relate to them in emotionally intelligent ways." TEACHER STUDENT CONTRACT Teacher Student Contract. Rules For the Students. 1. Students will listen when the teacher says "be quiet." 2. Students will do their homework. 3. Students will keep their handouts in a file. All theirhandouts!
COMMON NEGATIVE/PAINFUL FEELINGS Emotional Intelligence | Stevehein.com. Common Negative/Painful Feelings. See also long list of more feeling words . Note from Steve - Since I created this list I have decided it is more useful to think of these feelings as painful rather than "negative."FABER & MAZLISH
Notes. Note about anger and defensiveness. Notice that the author says "angry." I suspect a more precise feeling word would be defensive.As I discuss in my section on anger, anger is what I and other authors call a "secondary emotion."In other words there is a primary, more specific feeling which comes first; one which undelies or which triggers the more intense physiological reaction we call INDEX EQI.ORGABUSEANGERCARINGCOMMON "NEGATIVE" OR PAINFUL FEELINGSCONFLICT RESOLUTIONCUTTING, SELF HARM Here is something Wikipedia says about that: "The Iraq War[ was a protracted armed conflict that began in 2003 with the invasion of Iraq by a United States-led coalition that overthrew the government of Saddam Hussein. The conflict continued for much of the next decade." --- So you see they call it an invasion, a war, an armed confict andthen
CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTOINALLY ABUSED PEOPLESEARCH EQIEMPATHYLISTENINGPERSONAL GROWTHHUGSPARENTING Feel different from others. Are extremely loyal, even when facing overwhelming evidence that their loyalty is undeserved. Are either super responsible or super irresponsible. Tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. THE NEW SCIENCE OF FEELINGS EQI.org Home | . The New Science of Feelings. Mar 8 - This article has been bothering me for several days. I wonder now if that means I am "slow to recover" or if perhaps it means there is something very, very wrong with the article's thesis.EMOTIONAL LITERACY
There are various definitions of emotional literacy, but perhaps the simplest, most precise and most practical is this: The ability to express feelings with specific feeling words, in 3 word sentences. (S. Hein, 1996) For example, "I feel rejected." This seems to be the TOP 10 EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF CHILDREN Emotional Need #9 - Power-Sharing. It is normal for emotionally healthy children to "fight" with their parents as they mature, continually pushing the boundaries to gain more personal freedom and control over their lives. It is the natural expression of a child's journey toward full independence in adulthood. UNMET EMOTIONAL NEEDS Some of our emotional needs are to feel accepted, appreciated, important, valued, cared about, understood. When we don't feel enough of one of these, we have an "unment emotional need." Here is a list of human emotional needs. Social problems generally come either directly or indirectly from unmet needs. Some of these social problems comewhen
WAYNE PAYNE'S DOCTORAL DISSERTATION ABOUT EMOTION AND 3. By providing concepts, methods and tools for developing emotional intelligence. Then in the final line of the abstract Wayne says emotional intelligence "involves relating creatively to fear, pain and desire" and says his dissertation offers guidance on "how to relate to them in emotionally intelligent ways." TEACHER STUDENT CONTRACT Teacher Student Contract. Rules For the Students. 1. Students will listen when the teacher says "be quiet." 2. Students will do their homework. 3. Students will keep their handouts in a file. All theirhandouts!
COMMON NEGATIVE/PAINFUL FEELINGS Emotional Intelligence | Stevehein.com. Common Negative/Painful Feelings. See also long list of more feeling words . Note from Steve - Since I created this list I have decided it is more useful to think of these feelings as painful rather than "negative."FABER & MAZLISH
Notes. Note about anger and defensiveness. Notice that the author says "angry." I suspect a more precise feeling word would be defensive.As I discuss in my section on anger, anger is what I and other authors call a "secondary emotion."In other words there is a primary, more specific feeling which comes first; one which undelies or which triggers the more intense physiological reaction we callINDEX EQI.ORG
Here is something Wikipedia says about that: "The Iraq War[ was a protracted armed conflict that began in 2003 with the invasion of Iraq by a United States-led coalition that overthrew the government of Saddam Hussein. The conflict continued for much of the next decade." --- So you see they call it an invasion, a war, an armed confict andthen
TOP 10 EMOTIONAL NEEDS OF CHILDREN Emotional Need #9 - Power-Sharing. It is normal for emotionally healthy children to "fight" with their parents as they mature, continually pushing the boundaries to gain more personal freedom and control over their lives. It is the natural expression of a child's journey toward full independence in adulthood. THE NEW SCIENCE OF FEELINGS EQI.org Home | . The New Science of Feelings. Mar 8 - This article has been bothering me for several days. I wonder now if that means I am "slow to recover" or if perhaps it means there is something very, very wrong with the article's thesis.ACTIVE LISTENING
s1 ACTIVE LISTENING by Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson Excerpt from Communicating in Business Today R.G. Newman, M.A. Danzinger, M.Cohen (eds)
CARING VS CONTROL
Caring Vs. Control. Here are some writings from various articles on EQI.org related to caring vs. control. As I say in this article, I have noticed in my travels around the world that there are many more people who control us than who care about us. And I wonder what the world would be like if we simply had more people who cared about usand
NEGATIVE FEELING WORDS Negative Feeling Words. Here you will find part of the world's longest and, we believe, best list of negative feeling words, or words describing negative emotions. The full list is over 600 words. The words in letters A-S are shown here. We will send the complete file via email for $5.00 (US). HIGLHY SENSITIVE PEOPLE Links and Resources: For professionals and researchers, see academic and scientific papers listed on Home Page.. A 2013 lecture by Elaine Aron, in Wellington, New Zealand, on the highly sensitive person.. Highly Sensitive People in the Workplace - from shame to fame.BUDDHIST APHORISMS
Happiness never decreases by being shared. - Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love. - In the light of one's vision one finds freedom: thoughts are peace, words are peace, work is peace. - Wisdom, tranquility, compassion arise from our love, our sincerity, ourunderstanding. - In
EDITORIAL ABOUT EI CLAIMS Here is one part of this critique: 1. Misleading claims about the power and predictive ability of EI. In his 1995 book Goleman told us that IQ only contributes to "at best" 20% of "factors that determine life success." He implies, and let's us believe that EI accounts forthe other 80%.
ERICH FROMM
Nixon was surely the cause of many folks questioning their hope for mankind! During his lifetime Fromm suffered two major bouts of tuberculosis and three heart attacks before finally succumbing to a fourth attack on March 18, 1980, in the Swiss village ofSTEVEHEIN'S EQI.ORG
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Abuse | Anger | Caring | Caring vs. Control | Common "Negative" or Painful Feelings | ConflictResolution
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| Personal Growth | Punishment | Respect | Romance Steve's Personal Stories from Around the World | Teen Suicide | Understanding | Here is a more complete list of topics Emotional Support Forums IF YOU ARE STUCK WITH ABUSIVE FAMILY MEMBERS DURING CORONAVIRUS LOCKDOWN, YOU CAN JOIN OUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FORUMS.
Letter from a teen
> my mother is emotionally abusive but she only does it when we are > alone. no one believes me and assumes just because i am a teenage > girl i am the one at fault. i just put up with it but it is getting > worse and it's getting harder to deal with. i found your site and it > has really helped me believe that i am not the horrible person she > says i am. i am really getting fed up with hearing someone scream > "you are a fucking bitch" and every other insult and threat with a > voice filled with pure hatred daily. i really just need to know that > i'm not really those things and that people don't really act like > that. or do they? i don't know. For more letters see https://eqi.org/letters_from_the_unloved.htm--
Suicide has been the leading cause of death in local jails since at least 2000, when the U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics begancollecting data.
"People who don't want to be controlled by others are called crazy" S. hein may 24 2019 from my journal If someone is stopping you from getting what you need, they are killing you. S. Hein A good education would teach you what is wrong with society. S. Hein -- See more quotes here Education is what others do to you. Learning is what you do foryourself. Anon
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May 18 2019- One thing that is bothering me is calling wars, violence, killing and destruction "conflicts". Like calling all the killing and violence in Northern Ireland "The Troubles" - Here is what wikipedia says: "THE TROUBLES was an ethno-nationalist conflict in Northern Ireland during the late 20th century. Also known internationally as the NORTHERN IRELAND CONFLICT." Or calling the invasion of Afghanistan by the USA in 2003 a conflict. Here is something Wikipedia says about that: "The IRAQ WAR[was a protracted
armed conflict that began in 2003 with the invasion of Iraq by a United States-led coalition that overthrew the government of Saddam Hussein. The conflict continued for much of the next decade." --- So you see they call it an invasion, a war, an armed confict and then aconflict.
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March 17 - Interesting article about Freud, sexual abuse, Woody Allen March 14 - Today Miriam, 22, from Italy, told me she thought of killing herself at 16. She realized she needed to make some changes in her life so she moved to Switzerland while she was stiill 16 to live with her ex-boyfriend. She stayed with him till she was 21 then started traveling around Europe alone. Read more Do children have a right to friends?Robert Whitaker
| Search EQI.org | Contact Steve Other recent items - Jan 25 We are being controlled by people who don't care about us. Depression is a social illness - not a mental illness Jan 19 - Update to Phidish page - the word "mitigated" - Also, "jobs for depressed teenagers"
Jan 17 - Upwork.com - Katerina's first article for EQI Dec 26 Gabor Mate Video - What he says supports most of what I say on this site. Writing about feeling cared about and teen suicide(on Paulish.net)
Phidish New blog entry(pw is 123)
July 9 - Am hosting a traveler from Japan. -moreHe told me he knew people who were best friends. They spent alltheir time together stuyding so they could pass the universityentrance exam. When they both passed it their parents said,"Now you can do anything you want." They decided whatthey wanted to do was kill themselves. So they did. He also told me when he was inhigh school he didn't pay attention in class. He put in hisearphones. The teachers got tired of taking his cell phone andeventually left him alone.Journal
If you would like to read my personal journal, please write me. Steve
Also, I have been thinking a lot about my conflict with people who work for the state government in Delaware, USA. It helps me to talk to people about it. If you are willing to listen to what I have to say about it, I would appreciate it. You can write me at the above email address. Thanks ------------------------- Feb 20 - Thinking about movie Buck. Did some searches on one of the places used in the movie sullivanfarmhanoverians.comand then found a
site selling horses. Here is a search I did to see how many horses were for sale over 50,000horseclicks.com....
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