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HOW TO MOTIVATE THE UNMOTIVATED CHILD Lack of Motivation is a Form of Resistance. When kids won’t get out of bed, won’t do their homework or school assignments, or won’t get involved in activities, it’s important for parents to realize that there is motivation in the child. But the motivation is to resist.The motivation is to do things their way, not yours. DO’S & DON’TS OF ATTENTION-SEEKING BEHAVIOR It’s a developmental problem. So for these kids, the easiest method of communicating is to engage in attention-seeking behavior—usually loudly and frequently! But don’t despair. These behaviors are manageable, and your child can improve if you follow these do’s and don’ts the next time your child whines, cries, or screams to getyour
ADULT CHILDREN LIVING AT HOME DRIVING YOU CRAZY The first thing to realize is that the expectations of your role as a parent and your child’s role as a child, have changed. Even though your child is an adult now, it is so natural to revert back to the old patterns and roles that operated when your kids were younger. DOES YOUR CHILD OR TEEN GIVE YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT The silent treatment gives your child a feeling of power and control over you. It’s how they push your buttons and get you to leave them alone. Know that if your child gives you the silent treatment, that’s probably the best problem-solving skill he has at that moment. Simply put, he’s trying to deal with CONTROL MANIPULATIVE CHILD BEHAVIOR In this situation, the manipulation becomes a power and control game for the child, and that’s where it gets dangerous for parents. When kids wrestle with their parents for power and control over things, the child does things that are inappropriate, and the parents do things that are ineffective. The child talks abusively or pitches a fit TEENAGE PHASE OR OUT OF CONTROL? Normal Teen Behaviors. During normal adolescence, you might observe any of the following about your child’s behavior: Is moody and secretive. Spends much of his time alone in his room. Gets frustrated easily and stomps out of the room. Is short-tempered and impatient, especially with parents. PARENTING AN ADULT CHILD WITH ODD: WHEN THEY DONT LEAVE AT 18 If your ODD child seems to have grown into an ODD adult—with the same old behavior that has driven you crazy in the past—here are some tips that can help: 1. Accept that this may be your child’s personality — even as an adult. Some kids do “outgrow” their ODD behavior. For ODD kids, giving up control feels like drowning, andthey
"I'M 18 -- YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" IS YOUR YOUNG Many parents struggle with their just-turned-18, newly-minted adult children refusing to follow house rules and waving the, “I’m an adult. You can’t tell me what to do,” banner every time the parent confronts an issue of broken rules or disrespect. For many families, the transition from adolescence into adulthood is one of the more difficult ones for both PARENTING TIPS, ADVICE, & HELP Self-guided online learning programs where our experts teach you how to regain control of your child, your family, and your life through effective and proven parenting techniques. Online Parent Coaching. Parent coaches who work with you directly. Exchange unlimited messages and schedule phone calls with your personal parenting coach. “ANSWER ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!” WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR I personally believe there should be a routine consequence for being rude. So after your friends have gone, you can say, “We’re nice to your guests, if you’re not nice to our guests, this is what’s going to happen.”. Give your child some consequence for their rudeness. No cell phone for 24 hours is one that is often effective,or it
HOW TO MOTIVATE THE UNMOTIVATED CHILD Lack of Motivation is a Form of Resistance. When kids won’t get out of bed, won’t do their homework or school assignments, or won’t get involved in activities, it’s important for parents to realize that there is motivation in the child. But the motivation is to resist.The motivation is to do things their way, not yours. DO’S & DON’TS OF ATTENTION-SEEKING BEHAVIOR It’s a developmental problem. So for these kids, the easiest method of communicating is to engage in attention-seeking behavior—usually loudly and frequently! But don’t despair. These behaviors are manageable, and your child can improve if you follow these do’s and don’ts the next time your child whines, cries, or screams to getyour
ADULT CHILDREN LIVING AT HOME DRIVING YOU CRAZY The first thing to realize is that the expectations of your role as a parent and your child’s role as a child, have changed. Even though your child is an adult now, it is so natural to revert back to the old patterns and roles that operated when your kids were younger. DOES YOUR CHILD OR TEEN GIVE YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT The silent treatment gives your child a feeling of power and control over you. It’s how they push your buttons and get you to leave them alone. Know that if your child gives you the silent treatment, that’s probably the best problem-solving skill he has at that moment. Simply put, he’s trying to deal with CONTROL MANIPULATIVE CHILD BEHAVIOR In this situation, the manipulation becomes a power and control game for the child, and that’s where it gets dangerous for parents. When kids wrestle with their parents for power and control over things, the child does things that are inappropriate, and the parents do things that are ineffective. The child talks abusively or pitches a fit TEENAGE PHASE OR OUT OF CONTROL? Normal Teen Behaviors. During normal adolescence, you might observe any of the following about your child’s behavior: Is moody and secretive. Spends much of his time alone in his room. Gets frustrated easily and stomps out of the room. Is short-tempered and impatient, especially with parents. PARENTING AN ADULT CHILD WITH ODD: WHEN THEY DONT LEAVE AT 18 If your ODD child seems to have grown into an ODD adult—with the same old behavior that has driven you crazy in the past—here are some tips that can help: 1. Accept that this may be your child’s personality — even as an adult. Some kids do “outgrow” their ODD behavior. For ODD kids, giving up control feels like drowning, andthey
"I'M 18 -- YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" IS YOUR YOUNG Many parents struggle with their just-turned-18, newly-minted adult children refusing to follow house rules and waving the, “I’m an adult. You can’t tell me what to do,” banner every time the parent confronts an issue of broken rules or disrespect. For many families, the transition from adolescence into adulthood is one of the more difficult ones for both WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU DISLIKE YOUR CHILD Focus on what’s right and begin building on what is good. Don’t obsess over the negative or try to change who your child is. You’ll have a better relationship if you try to praise your child and affirm good behavior. Sometimes, as parents, we are too automatic with judgment. Make an effort to watch what you say. DO’S & DON’TS OF ATTENTION-SEEKING BEHAVIOR It’s a developmental problem. So for these kids, the easiest method of communicating is to engage in attention-seeking behavior—usually loudly and frequently! But don’t despair. These behaviors are manageable, and your child can improve if you follow these do’s and don’ts the next time your child whines, cries, or screams to getyour
PARENTAL ABUSE
Make sure your non-verbal communication (what you do) matches your verbal communication (what you say). 2. Clearly Communicate Consequences For Abusive Behavior. Tell your teen: “If you hit me, throw something at me, or otherwise hurt me physically, that’s called domestic violence and assault. PARENTING AN ADULT CHILD WITH ODD: WHEN THEY DONT LEAVE AT 18 If your ODD child seems to have grown into an ODD adult—with the same old behavior that has driven you crazy in the past—here are some tips that can help: 1. Accept that this may be your child’s personality — even as an adult. Some kids do “outgrow” their ODD behavior. For ODD kids, giving up control feels like drowning, andthey
HOW TO GIVE KIDS CONSEQUENCES THAT WORK Here are 14 tips to ensure that the consequences you use with your child or teenager are effective. 1. Use Consequences, Not Punishments. A consequence is something that follows naturally from a person’s action, inaction, or poor decision. A consequence is intended to teach or modify behavior in "I'M 18 -- YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" IS YOUR YOUNG Many parents struggle with their just-turned-18, newly-minted adult children refusing to follow house rules and waving the, “I’m an adult. You can’t tell me what to do,” banner every time the parent confronts an issue of broken rules or disrespect. For many families, the transition from adolescence into adulthood is one of the more difficult ones for both 6 STEPS TO HELP YOUR CHILD MOVE OUT About Kim Abraham, LMSW and Marney Studaker-Cordner, LMSW. Kimberly Abraham and Marney Studaker-Cordner are the co-creators of The ODD Lifeline® for parents of Oppositional, Defiant kids, and Life Over the Influence™, a program that helps families struggling with substance abuse issues (both programs are included in The Total Transformation® Online Package). HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT LYING 4. Avoid Lectures and the Word “Why”. When you talk with your child, avoid the emotional temptation to over-lecture them about the offense. Keep it businesslike and calm, asking open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no. Avoid the word“why.”.
IS MY CHILD DEPRESSED? 6 WAYS TO HELP KIDS AND TEENS COPE Here are some suggestions for ways to help you coach your child through it: Help Kids Identify Coping Skills: When you ask a teen or pre-teen, “What are your coping skills,” if he can say, “Oh, I go to my room. I listen to some music, I count to ten,” that’s good because he understands that coping is a LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND BEHAVIOR IN KIDS: CHALLENGING THE MYTHS The best way for children to develop self-esteem is to persevere outside of their comfort zone. A child’s self-esteem cannot come from you. Instead, you need to provide your child with the tools they need and support them as they learn how to solve problems on their own.And make no bones about it: in this world, self-esteem is a problem we all have to solve every day. PARENTING TIPS, ADVICE, & HELP Self-guided online learning programs where our experts teach you how to regain control of your child, your family, and your life through effective and proven parenting techniques. Online Parent Coaching. Parent coaches who work with you directly. Exchange unlimited messages and schedule phone calls with your personal parenting coach. HOW TO MOTIVATE THE UNMOTIVATED CHILD Lack of Motivation is a Form of Resistance. When kids won’t get out of bed, won’t do their homework or school assignments, or won’t get involved in activities, it’s important for parents to realize that there is motivation in the child. But the motivation is to resist.The motivation is to do things their way, not yours. HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT LYING 4. Avoid Lectures and the Word “Why”. When you talk with your child, avoid the emotional temptation to over-lecture them about the offense. Keep it businesslike and calm, asking open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no. Avoid the word“why.”.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD OR TEEN IS SUSPENDED OR Before we discuss what you can do, I think it’s important to recognize the difference between the following natural consequences. In-School Suspension (ISS): An in-school suspension is when your child is taken out of her regular classes and put into a separate room. She will need to complete all of her daily work and also spend her lunch break in this one room. EFFECTIVE CONSEQUENCES FOR ADHD KIDS To put it simply, parenting a child who has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder isn’t always easy. Kids with ADHD need special attention because they are special—they are wired differently than their peers. Brain scans show that the brains of ADHD kids look much different when performing certain functions than those of their neurotypical peers. ADULT CHILDREN LIVING AT HOME DRIVING YOU CRAZY The first thing to realize is that the expectations of your role as a parent and your child’s role as a child, have changed. Even though your child is an adult now, it is so natural to revert back to the old patterns and roles that operated when your kids were younger. GUT CHECK: DO YOU TIPTOE AROUND YOUR CHILD? The More Timid You Are Around Him, the More Power He Senses Over You. Here’s the bottom line about walking on eggshells around your child. If you tiptoe around him, the child senses that he has power over you, and he will use that power increasingly to manipulate you. As parents, we have to turn that misplaced “power” into life skills. KIMBALL LEWIS, AUTHOR AT EMPOWERING PARENTS Kimball Lewis. Kimball Lewis is the CEO of EmpoweringParents.com. In addition to his leadership and management roles, he contributes as an editor, a homeschooling expert, and a parent coach. He resides in Orlando, Florida, with his wife and two teenage sons. "I'M 18 -- YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" IS YOUR YOUNG Many parents struggle with their just-turned-18, newly-minted adult children refusing to follow house rules and waving the, “I’m an adult. You can’t tell me what to do,” banner every time the parent confronts an issue of broken rules or disrespect. For many families, the transition from adolescence into adulthood is one of the more difficult ones for both ARE TEENAGERS SELFISH, OR JUST COCOONING? Recent research on this topic has shown that due to hormonal changes, it is developmentally normal for teenagers to go through a self-absorbed or self-centered stage. During this time, teens tend to produce more oxytocin receptors. Although oxytocin is often called the ‘bonding hormone,’ its effects on a teen’s limbic system (the PARENTING TIPS, ADVICE, & HELP Self-guided online learning programs where our experts teach you how to regain control of your child, your family, and your life through effective and proven parenting techniques. Online Parent Coaching. Parent coaches who work with you directly. Exchange unlimited messages and schedule phone calls with your personal parenting coach. HOW TO MOTIVATE THE UNMOTIVATED CHILD Lack of Motivation is a Form of Resistance. When kids won’t get out of bed, won’t do their homework or school assignments, or won’t get involved in activities, it’s important for parents to realize that there is motivation in the child. But the motivation is to resist.The motivation is to do things their way, not yours. HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT LYING 4. Avoid Lectures and the Word “Why”. When you talk with your child, avoid the emotional temptation to over-lecture them about the offense. Keep it businesslike and calm, asking open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no. Avoid the word“why.”.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD OR TEEN IS SUSPENDED OR Before we discuss what you can do, I think it’s important to recognize the difference between the following natural consequences. In-School Suspension (ISS): An in-school suspension is when your child is taken out of her regular classes and put into a separate room. She will need to complete all of her daily work and also spend her lunch break in this one room. EFFECTIVE CONSEQUENCES FOR ADHD KIDS To put it simply, parenting a child who has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder isn’t always easy. Kids with ADHD need special attention because they are special—they are wired differently than their peers. Brain scans show that the brains of ADHD kids look much different when performing certain functions than those of their neurotypical peers. ADULT CHILDREN LIVING AT HOME DRIVING YOU CRAZY The first thing to realize is that the expectations of your role as a parent and your child’s role as a child, have changed. Even though your child is an adult now, it is so natural to revert back to the old patterns and roles that operated when your kids were younger. GUT CHECK: DO YOU TIPTOE AROUND YOUR CHILD? The More Timid You Are Around Him, the More Power He Senses Over You. Here’s the bottom line about walking on eggshells around your child. If you tiptoe around him, the child senses that he has power over you, and he will use that power increasingly to manipulate you. As parents, we have to turn that misplaced “power” into life skills. KIMBALL LEWIS, AUTHOR AT EMPOWERING PARENTS Kimball Lewis. Kimball Lewis is the CEO of EmpoweringParents.com. In addition to his leadership and management roles, he contributes as an editor, a homeschooling expert, and a parent coach. He resides in Orlando, Florida, with his wife and two teenage sons. "I'M 18 -- YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" IS YOUR YOUNG Many parents struggle with their just-turned-18, newly-minted adult children refusing to follow house rules and waving the, “I’m an adult. You can’t tell me what to do,” banner every time the parent confronts an issue of broken rules or disrespect. For many families, the transition from adolescence into adulthood is one of the more difficult ones for both ARE TEENAGERS SELFISH, OR JUST COCOONING? Recent research on this topic has shown that due to hormonal changes, it is developmentally normal for teenagers to go through a self-absorbed or self-centered stage. During this time, teens tend to produce more oxytocin receptors. Although oxytocin is often called the ‘bonding hormone,’ its effects on a teen’s limbic system (the OUR TOP 8 PARENTING TIPS Parenting is one job that never gets a holiday break. At Empowering Parents, we hear about struggles with sibling bickering, backtalk, temper tantrums, and other child behavior problems every day.The fact that you, as a parent, visit our website and are willing to reach out and share your challenges and struggles with us speaks volumes about your commitment to building a good life for you and WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD OR TEEN IS SUSPENDED OR Before we discuss what you can do, I think it’s important to recognize the difference between the following natural consequences. In-School Suspension (ISS): An in-school suspension is when your child is taken out of her regular classes and put into a separate room. She will need to complete all of her daily work and also spend her lunch break in this one room. PARENTING SEXUALLY ACTIVE TEENS Therefore, keep the focus on your child whenever your child is present, and address disagreements with your spouse in private. 4. Discuss Your Values and Expectations With Your Child. The next step is to sit down with your child and explain your beliefs, values, and expectations regarding sexual activity. This conversation will look alittle
ADULT CHILDREN LIVING AT HOME DRIVING YOU CRAZY The first thing to realize is that the expectations of your role as a parent and your child’s role as a child, have changed. Even though your child is an adult now, it is so natural to revert back to the old patterns and roles that operated when your kids were younger. "I'M 18 -- YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" IS YOUR YOUNG Many parents struggle with their just-turned-18, newly-minted adult children refusing to follow house rules and waving the, “I’m an adult. You can’t tell me what to do,” banner every time the parent confronts an issue of broken rules or disrespect. For many families, the transition from adolescence into adulthood is one of the more difficult ones for both PARENTING A CHILD WITH ADHD: 10 WAYS TO IMPROVE THEIR 3. Be Positive and Praise Good Behavior. Understand that children with ADHD spend most of their day being told what they are doing wrong. This can be demoralizing over time. Therefore, praise their good behavior often. It can be as simple as a pat on the back, a smile or a “good job, thanks!”. HOW TO HANDLE DISAPPOINTMENT WITH YOUR ADULT CHILD 6 More Tips for Parents of Adult Children. Love the child you have right now and try not to lose hope if they aren’t doing well. Continue to maintain healthy boundaries. Even if your child is an adult, he or she does not have the right to be abusive to you or anyone else. Give them your support and guidance if they ask for it,but try not to
DOES YOUR CHILD OR TEEN GIVE YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT The silent treatment gives your child a feeling of power and control over you. It’s how they push your buttons and get you to leave them alone. Know that if your child gives you the silent treatment, that’s probably the best problem-solving skill he has at that moment. Simply put, he’s trying to deal with MORE ON BLENDED FAMILIES -- "MY CHILD AND MY SPOUSE DON'T A comment on my recent blog “How to Have a (Happier) Blended Family” caught my attention because it deals with a typical complaint: being stuck in the middle. In her comment, Laura asks, “We are going on an extended family camping trip together next week. I don’t want to be in the middle of this "MY CHILD DECIDED NOT TO GO TO COLLEGE -- AND IS LIVING AT As a parent, it can be difficult not to “compare your insides to other people’s outsides” as James Lehman advises, especially when it comes to your child’s successes or failures. (I find this to be particularly true when it comes to academic or sports performance.) So, what is a parent to do when their child decides not to go to college, and opts to stay home instead? PARENTING TIPS, ADVICE, & HELP Self-guided online learning programs where our experts teach you how to regain control of your child, your family, and your life through effective and proven parenting techniques. Online Parent Coaching. Parent coaches who work with you directly. Exchange unlimited messages and schedule phone calls with your personal parenting coach. HOW TO MOTIVATE THE UNMOTIVATED CHILD Lack of Motivation is a Form of Resistance. When kids won’t get out of bed, won’t do their homework or school assignments, or won’t get involved in activities, it’s important for parents to realize that there is motivation in the child. But the motivation is to resist.The motivation is to do things their way, not yours. HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT LYING 4. Avoid Lectures and the Word “Why”. When you talk with your child, avoid the emotional temptation to over-lecture them about the offense. Keep it businesslike and calm, asking open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no. Avoid the word“why.”.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD OR TEEN IS SUSPENDED OR Before we discuss what you can do, I think it’s important to recognize the difference between the following natural consequences. In-School Suspension (ISS): An in-school suspension is when your child is taken out of her regular classes and put into a separate room. She will need to complete all of her daily work and also spend her lunch break in this one room. EFFECTIVE CONSEQUENCES FOR ADHD KIDS To put it simply, parenting a child who has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder isn’t always easy. Kids with ADHD need special attention because they are special—they are wired differently than their peers. Brain scans show that the brains of ADHD kids look much different when performing certain functions than those of their neurotypical peers. ADULT CHILDREN LIVING AT HOME DRIVING YOU CRAZY The first thing to realize is that the expectations of your role as a parent and your child’s role as a child, have changed. Even though your child is an adult now, it is so natural to revert back to the old patterns and roles that operated when your kids were younger. GUT CHECK: DO YOU TIPTOE AROUND YOUR CHILD? The More Timid You Are Around Him, the More Power He Senses Over You. Here’s the bottom line about walking on eggshells around your child. If you tiptoe around him, the child senses that he has power over you, and he will use that power increasingly to manipulate you. As parents, we have to turn that misplaced “power” into life skills. KIMBALL LEWIS, AUTHOR AT EMPOWERING PARENTS Kimball Lewis. Kimball Lewis is the CEO of EmpoweringParents.com. In addition to his leadership and management roles, he contributes as an editor, a homeschooling expert, and a parent coach. He resides in Orlando, Florida, with his wife and two teenage sons. "I'M 18 -- YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" IS YOUR YOUNG Many parents struggle with their just-turned-18, newly-minted adult children refusing to follow house rules and waving the, “I’m an adult. You can’t tell me what to do,” banner every time the parent confronts an issue of broken rules or disrespect. For many families, the transition from adolescence into adulthood is one of the more difficult ones for both ARE TEENAGERS SELFISH, OR JUST COCOONING? Recent research on this topic has shown that due to hormonal changes, it is developmentally normal for teenagers to go through a self-absorbed or self-centered stage. During this time, teens tend to produce more oxytocin receptors. Although oxytocin is often called the ‘bonding hormone,’ its effects on a teen’s limbic system (the PARENTING TIPS, ADVICE, & HELP Self-guided online learning programs where our experts teach you how to regain control of your child, your family, and your life through effective and proven parenting techniques. Online Parent Coaching. Parent coaches who work with you directly. Exchange unlimited messages and schedule phone calls with your personal parenting coach. HOW TO MOTIVATE THE UNMOTIVATED CHILD Lack of Motivation is a Form of Resistance. When kids won’t get out of bed, won’t do their homework or school assignments, or won’t get involved in activities, it’s important for parents to realize that there is motivation in the child. But the motivation is to resist.The motivation is to do things their way, not yours. HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT LYING 4. Avoid Lectures and the Word “Why”. When you talk with your child, avoid the emotional temptation to over-lecture them about the offense. Keep it businesslike and calm, asking open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no. Avoid the word“why.”.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD OR TEEN IS SUSPENDED OR Before we discuss what you can do, I think it’s important to recognize the difference between the following natural consequences. In-School Suspension (ISS): An in-school suspension is when your child is taken out of her regular classes and put into a separate room. She will need to complete all of her daily work and also spend her lunch break in this one room. EFFECTIVE CONSEQUENCES FOR ADHD KIDS To put it simply, parenting a child who has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder isn’t always easy. Kids with ADHD need special attention because they are special—they are wired differently than their peers. Brain scans show that the brains of ADHD kids look much different when performing certain functions than those of their neurotypical peers. ADULT CHILDREN LIVING AT HOME DRIVING YOU CRAZY The first thing to realize is that the expectations of your role as a parent and your child’s role as a child, have changed. Even though your child is an adult now, it is so natural to revert back to the old patterns and roles that operated when your kids were younger. GUT CHECK: DO YOU TIPTOE AROUND YOUR CHILD? The More Timid You Are Around Him, the More Power He Senses Over You. Here’s the bottom line about walking on eggshells around your child. If you tiptoe around him, the child senses that he has power over you, and he will use that power increasingly to manipulate you. As parents, we have to turn that misplaced “power” into life skills. KIMBALL LEWIS, AUTHOR AT EMPOWERING PARENTS Kimball Lewis. Kimball Lewis is the CEO of EmpoweringParents.com. In addition to his leadership and management roles, he contributes as an editor, a homeschooling expert, and a parent coach. He resides in Orlando, Florida, with his wife and two teenage sons. "I'M 18 -- YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" IS YOUR YOUNG Many parents struggle with their just-turned-18, newly-minted adult children refusing to follow house rules and waving the, “I’m an adult. You can’t tell me what to do,” banner every time the parent confronts an issue of broken rules or disrespect. For many families, the transition from adolescence into adulthood is one of the more difficult ones for both ARE TEENAGERS SELFISH, OR JUST COCOONING? Recent research on this topic has shown that due to hormonal changes, it is developmentally normal for teenagers to go through a self-absorbed or self-centered stage. During this time, teens tend to produce more oxytocin receptors. Although oxytocin is often called the ‘bonding hormone,’ its effects on a teen’s limbic system (the OUR TOP 8 PARENTING TIPS Parenting is one job that never gets a holiday break. At Empowering Parents, we hear about struggles with sibling bickering, backtalk, temper tantrums, and other child behavior problems every day.The fact that you, as a parent, visit our website and are willing to reach out and share your challenges and struggles with us speaks volumes about your commitment to building a good life for you and WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD OR TEEN IS SUSPENDED OR Before we discuss what you can do, I think it’s important to recognize the difference between the following natural consequences. In-School Suspension (ISS): An in-school suspension is when your child is taken out of her regular classes and put into a separate room. She will need to complete all of her daily work and also spend her lunch break in this one room. PARENTING SEXUALLY ACTIVE TEENS Therefore, keep the focus on your child whenever your child is present, and address disagreements with your spouse in private. 4. Discuss Your Values and Expectations With Your Child. The next step is to sit down with your child and explain your beliefs, values, and expectations regarding sexual activity. This conversation will look alittle
ADULT CHILDREN LIVING AT HOME DRIVING YOU CRAZY The first thing to realize is that the expectations of your role as a parent and your child’s role as a child, have changed. Even though your child is an adult now, it is so natural to revert back to the old patterns and roles that operated when your kids were younger. "I'M 18 -- YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" IS YOUR YOUNG Many parents struggle with their just-turned-18, newly-minted adult children refusing to follow house rules and waving the, “I’m an adult. You can’t tell me what to do,” banner every time the parent confronts an issue of broken rules or disrespect. For many families, the transition from adolescence into adulthood is one of the more difficult ones for both PARENTING A CHILD WITH ADHD: 10 WAYS TO IMPROVE THEIR 3. Be Positive and Praise Good Behavior. Understand that children with ADHD spend most of their day being told what they are doing wrong. This can be demoralizing over time. Therefore, praise their good behavior often. It can be as simple as a pat on the back, a smile or a “good job, thanks!”. HOW TO HANDLE DISAPPOINTMENT WITH YOUR ADULT CHILD 6 More Tips for Parents of Adult Children. Love the child you have right now and try not to lose hope if they aren’t doing well. Continue to maintain healthy boundaries. Even if your child is an adult, he or she does not have the right to be abusive to you or anyone else. Give them your support and guidance if they ask for it,but try not to
MORE ON BLENDED FAMILIES -- "MY CHILD AND MY SPOUSE DON'T A comment on my recent blog “How to Have a (Happier) Blended Family” caught my attention because it deals with a typical complaint: being stuck in the middle. In her comment, Laura asks, “We are going on an extended family camping trip together next week. I don’t want to be in the middle of this DOES YOUR CHILD OR TEEN GIVE YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT The silent treatment gives your child a feeling of power and control over you. It’s how they push your buttons and get you to leave them alone. Know that if your child gives you the silent treatment, that’s probably the best problem-solving skill he has at that moment. Simply put, he’s trying to deal with "MY CHILD DECIDED NOT TO GO TO COLLEGE -- AND IS LIVING AT As a parent, it can be difficult not to “compare your insides to other people’s outsides” as James Lehman advises, especially when it comes to your child’s successes or failures. (I find this to be particularly true when it comes to academic or sports performance.) So, what is a parent to do when their child decides not to go to college, and opts to stay home instead? PARENTING TIPS, ADVICE, & HELP Parenting help for child behavior problems. Home of The Total Transformation® Program. Tools to manage disrespect, defiance, motivation, and more. “ANSWER ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!” WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR I personally believe there should be a routine consequence for being rude. So after your friends have gone, you can say, “We’re nice to your guests, if you’re not nice to our guests, this is what’s going to happen.”. Give your child some consequence for their rudeness. No cell phone for 24 hours is one that is often effective,or it
FIGHTING WITH YOUR TEEN WHAT TO DO AFTER THE ARGUMENT 1. Give it some time. Give yourself and your child the space needed to gain back equilibrium. Tolerate the tension without feeling that you have to get your teen feeling good about you again, or that you need to get her out of her funk and negativity. Don’t be needy by wanting her to be okay with you immediately. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD OR TEEN IS SUSPENDED OR Before we discuss what you can do, I think it’s important to recognize the difference between the following natural consequences. In-School Suspension (ISS): An in-school suspension is when your child is taken out of her regular classes and put into a separate room. She will need to complete all of her daily work and also spend her lunch break in this one room. 6 STEPS TO HELP YOUR CHILD MOVE OUT About Kim Abraham, LMSW and Marney Studaker-Cordner, LMSW. Kimberly Abraham and Marney Studaker-Cordner are the co-creators of The ODD Lifeline® for parents of Oppositional, Defiant kids, and Life Over the Influence™, a program that helps families struggling with substance abuse issues (both programs are included in The Total Transformation® Online Package). PARENTS, GET A CLUE: WHAT TEENS ARE REALLY DOING ONLINE Amber* got onto Facebook when she was 12. “It was easy,” she said with a shrug. “All you have to do is lie about your age and give them your email address.” The teen, who is now 15, said, “I guess I accepted a lot of ‘Friends’ to my list without really knowingwho they were.”
ADULT CHILDREN LIVING AT HOME DRIVING YOU CRAZY The first thing to realize is that the expectations of your role as a parent and your child’s role as a child, have changed. Even though your child is an adult now, it is so natural to revert back to the old patterns and roles that operated when your kids were younger. PARENTING ODD CHILDREN AND TEENS: HOW TO MAKE CONSEQUENCES In our work with ODD kids and their parents, we use something called fail-proof consequences. Fail-proof consequences are effective with oppositional defiant kids because full control over the consequence rests with you, the parent. Much of our work involves showing parents exactly how to create and use this type of consequence. MY CHILD IS USING DRUGS OR DRINKING ALCOHOL: WHAT SHOULD I DO? The following is an excerpt from Life Over the Influence™, an online learning program created by Kimberly Abraham LMSW and Marney Studaker-Cordner LMSW, therapists and experts in helping families struggling with substance abuse issues.Life Over the Influence is a part of The Total Transformation® Program Online Package.. There is a difference between rescuing your child and going to the DISRESPECTFUL CHILD BEHAVIOR & BAD BEHAVIOR If you’ve noticed that your child has already crossed the line and is behaving in an increasingly disrespectful manner, you can say: “Look, there’s a line that I think you’re crossing when you talk to us. If you want to roll your eyes and say ‘Whatever,’ that’s fine with me. I don’t want to fight with you about that. PARENTING TIPS, ADVICE, & HELP Self-guided online learning programs where our experts teach you how to regain control of your child, your family, and your life through effective and proven parenting techniques. Online Parent Coaching. Parent coaches who work with you directly. Exchange unlimited messages and schedule phone calls with your personal parenting coach. “ANSWER ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!” WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR I personally believe there should be a routine consequence for being rude. So after your friends have gone, you can say, “We’re nice to your guests, if you’re not nice to our guests, this is what’s going to happen.”. Give your child some consequence for their rudeness. No cell phone for 24 hours is one that is often effective,or it
FIGHTING WITH YOUR TEEN WHAT TO DO AFTER THE ARGUMENT 1. Give it some time. Give yourself and your child the space needed to gain back equilibrium. Tolerate the tension without feeling that you have to get your teen feeling good about you again, or that you need to get her out of her funk and negativity. Don’t be needy by wanting her to be okay with you immediately. PARENTING AN ADULT CHILD WITH ODD: WHEN THEY DONT LEAVE AT 18 If your ODD child seems to have grown into an ODD adult—with the same old behavior that has driven you crazy in the past—here are some tips that can help: 1. Accept that this may be your child’s personality — even as an adult. Some kids do “outgrow” their ODD behavior. For ODD kids, giving up control feels like drowning, andthey
ADULT CHILDREN LIVING AT HOME DRIVING YOU CRAZY The first thing to realize is that the expectations of your role as a parent and your child’s role as a child, have changed. Even though your child is an adult now, it is so natural to revert back to the old patterns and roles that operated when your kids were younger. CONTROL MANIPULATIVE CHILD BEHAVIOR In this situation, the manipulation becomes a power and control game for the child, and that’s where it gets dangerous for parents. When kids wrestle with their parents for power and control over things, the child does things that are inappropriate, and the parents do things that are ineffective. The child talks abusively or pitches a fit HOW TO STOP A CHILD FROM SWEARING About James Lehman, MSW. James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation®, The Complete Guide to Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents One Plan™, from a place of professional and personal experience.Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management 6 STEPS TO HELP YOUR CHILD MOVE OUT About Kim Abraham, LMSW and Marney Studaker-Cordner, LMSW. Kimberly Abraham and Marney Studaker-Cordner are the co-creators of The ODD Lifeline® for parents of Oppositional, Defiant kids, and Life Over the Influence™, a program that helps families struggling with substance abuse issues (both programs are included in The Total Transformation® Online Package). HOW TO RESPOND TO MOODY & WHINING KIDS So at first, bring it to their attention. Say: “I notice now that you’re sulking. If you want to say something to me, figure out a better way to say it.”. In my opinion, the best thing to do is ignore it and say, “I’m not going respond when you act this way anymore. You’re going to have to communicate differently.”. PARENTS, GET A CLUE: WHAT TEENS ARE REALLY DOING ONLINE Amber* got onto Facebook when she was 12. “It was easy,” she said with a shrug. “All you have to do is lie about your age and give them your email address.” The teen, who is now 15, said, “I guess I accepted a lot of ‘Friends’ to my list without really knowingwho they were.”
FIGHTING WITH YOUR TEEN WHAT TO DO AFTER THE ARGUMENT 1. Give it some time. Give yourself and your child the space needed to gain back equilibrium. Tolerate the tension without feeling that you have to get your teen feeling good about you again, or that you need to get her out of her funk and negativity. Don’t be needy by wanting her to be okay with you immediately. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU DISLIKE YOUR CHILD Focus on what’s right and begin building on what is good. Don’t obsess over the negative or try to change who your child is. You’ll have a better relationship if you try to praise your child and affirm good behavior. Sometimes, as parents, we are too automatic with judgment. Make an effort to watch what you say. PARENTS, GET A CLUE: WHAT TEENS ARE REALLY DOING ONLINE Amber* got onto Facebook when she was 12. “It was easy,” she said with a shrug. “All you have to do is lie about your age and give them your email address.” The teen, who is now 15, said, “I guess I accepted a lot of ‘Friends’ to my list without really knowingwho they were.”
BOSSY CHILDREN AND BOSSY TEENS But if a child doesn’t have that balance or maturity, or if the parents aren’t clearly in control of the family structure, it’s another story altogether. Some kids will start to compete with their parents for power from an early age. Instead of following through on the adults’ wishes, they’ll be more interested in controlling their siblings and calling all the shots in the house. LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND BEHAVIOR IN KIDS: CHALLENGING THE MYTHS The best way for children to develop self-esteem is to persevere outside of their comfort zone. A child’s self-esteem cannot come from you. Instead, you need to provide your child with the tools they need and support them as they learn how to solve problems on their own.And make no bones about it: in this world, self-esteem is a problem we all have to solve every day. "I'M 18 -- YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" IS YOUR YOUNG Many parents struggle with their just-turned-18, newly-minted adult children refusing to follow house rules and waving the, “I’m an adult. You can’t tell me what to do,” banner every time the parent confronts an issue of broken rules or disrespect. For many families, the transition from adolescence into adulthood is one of the more difficult ones for both MY CHILD IS USING DRUGS OR DRINKING ALCOHOL: WHAT SHOULD I DO? The following is an excerpt from Life Over the Influence™, an online learning program created by Kimberly Abraham LMSW and Marney Studaker-Cordner LMSW, therapists and experts in helping families struggling with substance abuse issues.Life Over the Influence is a part of The Total Transformation® Program Online Package.. There is a difference between rescuing your child and going to the WHY CHILDREN ARE VERBALLY ABUSIVE The verbalization of threats, name-calling, and intimidation is common, and aggressive behavior usually begins at an early age. When parents change their rules because their child throws a tantrum or verbally abuses them, they’re teaching their child to have power over them through inappropriate behavior. PARENTING AN ADULT CHILD WITH ODD: WHEN THEY DONT LEAVE AT 18 If your ODD child seems to have grown into an ODD adult—with the same old behavior that has driven you crazy in the past—here are some tips that can help: 1. Accept that this may be your child’s personality — even as an adult. Some kids do “outgrow” their ODD behavior. For ODD kids, giving up control feels like drowning, andthey
CHILD REFUSES TO GO TO SCHOOL In many cases, a child will outright refuse to go to school. Many parents respond to their child’s refusal to attend school by yelling, screaming, and taking everything away. Other parents get worn down by their child and simply give up. Many parents of teens will just let their child become truant. They’ve reached their wit’send and
PARENTING TIPS, ADVICE, & HELP Self-guided online learning programs where our experts teach you how to regain control of your child, your family, and your life through effective and proven parenting techniques. Online Parent Coaching. Parent coaches who work with you directly. Exchange unlimited messages and schedule phone calls with your personal parenting coach. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IGNORES YOU 8 Steps to Turn the “Tune-out” into a “Tune-in”. 1. Remove distractions: When you really want to talk with your child, stop all distractions and outside stimuli. Here’s a tip: Ask your child to turn off the TV, phone or computer. It’s important to have him do it rather than just shutting off the TV yourself. DOES YOUR CHILD OR TEEN GIVE YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT The silent treatment gives your child a feeling of power and control over you. It’s how they push your buttons and get you to leave them alone. Know that if your child gives you the silent treatment, that’s probably the best problem-solving skill he has at that moment. Simply put, he’s trying to deal with PARENTING AN ADULT CHILD WITH ODD: WHEN THEY DONT LEAVE AT 18 If your ODD child seems to have grown into an ODD adult—with the same old behavior that has driven you crazy in the past—here are some tips that can help: 1. Accept that this may be your child’s personality — even as an adult. Some kids do “outgrow” their ODD behavior. For ODD kids, giving up control feels like drowning, andthey
TEENAGE PHASE OR OUT OF CONTROL? Normal Teen Behaviors. During normal adolescence, you might observe any of the following about your child’s behavior: Is moody and secretive. Spends much of his time alone in his room. Gets frustrated easily and stomps out of the room. Is short-tempered and impatient, especially with parents. WHY CHILDREN ARE VERBALLY ABUSIVE The verbalization of threats, name-calling, and intimidation is common, and aggressive behavior usually begins at an early age. When parents change their rules because their child throws a tantrum or verbally abuses them, they’re teaching their child to have power over them through inappropriate behavior. HOW TO STOP KIDS FROM TALKING BACK Set Up a Grievance Time for Your Child. If your child truly wants to argue with you about the rules, another option is to set up a specific time when your kid is allowed to talk back to you. Say to your child: “From 7 to 7:15 tomorrow evening, you can ask me to re-explain all my decisions. Save it for then. HOW TO MANAGE ESTRANGED CHILDREN Five Tips When Estranged and Cut Off From Your Child. 1. Get Support. Being cut off by your child, with no ability to understand, communicate and resolve things, is difficult enough. That’s why being connected to others who love and understand you is particularlyimportant.
ANGRY CHILD OUTBURSTS: 10 ESSENTIAL RULES FOR DEALING WITH Learning to manage angry children and teens is an ongoing process and an important skill to learn. Read on to learn our top 10 rules for dealing with an angry child. CHILD AND TEEN BULLYING: HOW TO HELP WHEN YOUR KID IS BULLIED Talk to an adult: Encourage your child to go to his school guidance counselor, a teacher, or a school administrator when she is being bullied. It is the duty of school officials to hold anyone who is bullying another student accountable. Explain the difference between “tattling” and “telling.”. Tattling is done for the purpose of PARENTING TIPS, ADVICE, & HELP Self-guided online learning programs where our experts teach you how to regain control of your child, your family, and your life through effective and proven parenting techniques. Online Parent Coaching. Parent coaches who work with you directly. Exchange unlimited messages and schedule phone calls with your personal parenting coach. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IGNORES YOU 8 Steps to Turn the “Tune-out” into a “Tune-in”. 1. Remove distractions: When you really want to talk with your child, stop all distractions and outside stimuli. Here’s a tip: Ask your child to turn off the TV, phone or computer. It’s important to have him do it rather than just shutting off the TV yourself. DOES YOUR CHILD OR TEEN GIVE YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT The silent treatment gives your child a feeling of power and control over you. It’s how they push your buttons and get you to leave them alone. Know that if your child gives you the silent treatment, that’s probably the best problem-solving skill he has at that moment. Simply put, he’s trying to deal with PARENTING AN ADULT CHILD WITH ODD: WHEN THEY DONT LEAVE AT 18 If your ODD child seems to have grown into an ODD adult—with the same old behavior that has driven you crazy in the past—here are some tips that can help: 1. Accept that this may be your child’s personality — even as an adult. Some kids do “outgrow” their ODD behavior. For ODD kids, giving up control feels like drowning, andthey
TEENAGE PHASE OR OUT OF CONTROL? Normal Teen Behaviors. During normal adolescence, you might observe any of the following about your child’s behavior: Is moody and secretive. Spends much of his time alone in his room. Gets frustrated easily and stomps out of the room. Is short-tempered and impatient, especially with parents. WHY CHILDREN ARE VERBALLY ABUSIVE The verbalization of threats, name-calling, and intimidation is common, and aggressive behavior usually begins at an early age. When parents change their rules because their child throws a tantrum or verbally abuses them, they’re teaching their child to have power over them through inappropriate behavior. HOW TO STOP KIDS FROM TALKING BACK Set Up a Grievance Time for Your Child. If your child truly wants to argue with you about the rules, another option is to set up a specific time when your kid is allowed to talk back to you. Say to your child: “From 7 to 7:15 tomorrow evening, you can ask me to re-explain all my decisions. Save it for then. HOW TO MANAGE ESTRANGED CHILDREN Five Tips When Estranged and Cut Off From Your Child. 1. Get Support. Being cut off by your child, with no ability to understand, communicate and resolve things, is difficult enough. That’s why being connected to others who love and understand you is particularlyimportant.
ANGRY CHILD OUTBURSTS: 10 ESSENTIAL RULES FOR DEALING WITH Learning to manage angry children and teens is an ongoing process and an important skill to learn. Read on to learn our top 10 rules for dealing with an angry child. CHILD AND TEEN BULLYING: HOW TO HELP WHEN YOUR KID IS BULLIED Talk to an adult: Encourage your child to go to his school guidance counselor, a teacher, or a school administrator when she is being bullied. It is the duty of school officials to hold anyone who is bullying another student accountable. Explain the difference between “tattling” and “telling.”. Tattling is done for the purpose of WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD IGNORES YOU 8 Steps to Turn the “Tune-out” into a “Tune-in”. 1. Remove distractions: When you really want to talk with your child, stop all distractions and outside stimuli. Here’s a tip: Ask your child to turn off the TV, phone or computer. It’s important to have him do it rather than just shutting off the TV yourself. HOW TO MOTIVATE THE UNMOTIVATED CHILD Lack of Motivation is a Form of Resistance. When kids won’t get out of bed, won’t do their homework or school assignments, or won’t get involved in activities, it’s important for parents to realize that there is motivation in the child. But the motivation is to resist.The motivation is to do things their way, not yours. TEENAGE PHASE OR OUT OF CONTROL? Normal Teen Behaviors. During normal adolescence, you might observe any of the following about your child’s behavior: Is moody and secretive. Spends much of his time alone in his room. Gets frustrated easily and stomps out of the room. Is short-tempered and impatient, especially with parents. ADULT CHILDREN LIVING AT HOME DRIVING YOU CRAZY The first thing to realize is that the expectations of your role as a parent and your child’s role as a child, have changed. Even though your child is an adult now, it is so natural to revert back to the old patterns and roles that operated when your kids were younger. DEALING WITH LYING AND SNEAKY BEHAVIOR IN KIDS A way to begin these problem-solving conversations is to have your child do some “homework” ahead of time. Ask them to think about their behavior and be prepared, either verbally or in writing, to let you know what they were thinking when they did this, what the problems were with the behavior, and how they might behave in this situation inthe future.
HOW TO STOP KIDS FROM TALKING BACK About Janet Lehman, MSW. Janet Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled children and teens for over 30 years. A veteran social worker, she specializes in child behavior issues — ranging from anger management and oppositional defiance to more serious criminal behavior in teens. DISRESPECTFUL CHILD BEHAVIOR & BAD BEHAVIOR About James Lehman, MSW. James Lehman, who dedicated his life to behaviorally troubled youth, created The Total Transformation®, The Complete Guide to Consequences™, Getting Through To Your Child™, and Two Parents One Plan™, from a place of professional and personal experience.Having had severe behavioral problems himself as a child, he was inspired to focus on behavioral management HOW TO RESPOND TO MOODY & WHINING KIDS So at first, bring it to their attention. Say: “I notice now that you’re sulking. If you want to say something to me, figure out a better way to say it.”. In my opinion, the best thing to do is ignore it and say, “I’m not going respond when you act this way anymore. You’re going to have to communicate differently.”. YOUNG KIDS WITH ODD: IS IT OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER About Kim Abraham, LMSW and Marney Studaker-Cordner, LMSW. Kimberly Abraham and Marney Studaker-Cordner are the co-creators of The ODD Lifeline® for parents of Oppositional, Defiant kids, and Life Over the Influence™, a program that helps families struggling with substance abuse issues (both programs are included in The Total Transformation® Online Package). TEENAGE SELF ESTEEM AND ANXIETY IN TEENS: 5 WAYS TO START Actively demonstrate good ways to deal with anxiety or stress. All of these things need to be modeled for them as much as possible. Try to speak your teen’s language: Adults are comfortable with face–to–face communication, but kids are often much more comfortable communicating via email and text message. EMPOWERING PARENTS | PARENTING TIPS, ADVICE, & HELP0 __
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