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MORNING QUICKIE: “MY HUSBAND WANTS TO MOVE, BUT I DON’T” Morning Quickie: “My Husband Wants to Move, But I Don’t”. I have been married twelve years and my husband is the stepfather of my now adult children. I adore my kids. But my husband wants to move up north to a warmer all-year-round climate. He is much older than I am and I am a young person by nature and I love young people. “MY WIFE CAN’T REMEMBER IF SHE CHEATED ON ME” My wife then said, “I am sorry, but I don’t remember any of this or what happened.”. Well, I’m sorry, but unless a person has cheated a godly number of times, I think there would be some recollection of at least the early portion of the evening before the booze took its full effect. Now, I will add to this. “MY BOYFRIEND SLEPT WITH A PROSTITUTE AND THE CONDOM BROKE” My boyfriend of six years, the father of our two amazing children, came home and told me that he went to a massage parlor for a “rub-and-tug,” and when the lady/prostitute offered him “more,” he said “yes,” and then the condom broke. I havealways been
YOUR TURN: “HOW CAN I FORGIVE HIM FOR SEXTING OTHER WOMEN?” New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice. In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, “MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS MAD THAT MY MALE ROOMMATES SEE ME … I’ve lived with my two guy friends for about two and a half years. They’re my best friends in the world, and although we argue and fight sometimes, they’re still my family. We’ve supported each other through everything from broken hearts, to getting fired, to the loss of a parent. When I first moved in “MY BOYFRIEND IS ALWAYS NAKED IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE” My boyfriend is 22 and ever since I have known him, he has been very comfortable being naked or semi-naked in front of his family, which consists of his older sister and his mother. We have been dating for two years and I live with my parents. A while back I pointed out howodd
SHORTCUTS: “WHY DOES MY EX STILL HAVE PICTURES OF ME ON It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I have an ex-girlfriend DEAR WENDY — A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE SITEADVICEABOUTARCHIVESCATEGORIESSUPPORT DWCONTACT A relationship advice site. It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now.Today we hear from “Not So Transparent,” who wondered whether she should tell her boyfriend that her friend Nick is trans. She wrote: “He doesn’t know that Nick is trans, which “CAN I SKIP MY NIECE’S WEDDING?” I am torn about whether to attend my 30-year-old old niece’s wedding. I love her very much and I’ve always figured I would attend all of my niece’s and nephew’s weddings. I’ve always loved children and, since we don’t have any, I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with them. Some history: When “AFTER 40 YEARS, I CAN’T STAND MY HUSBAND” “domestic science” used to be a real thing! although i like “domestic art”. and fun fact: “domestic science” is the way that women were first allowed into science. the first female graduate of MIT was admitted under the idea of domestic science. she was allowed to study chemistry because she was a woman studying how toclean better.
MORNING QUICKIE: “MY HUSBAND WANTS TO MOVE, BUT I DON’T” Morning Quickie: “My Husband Wants to Move, But I Don’t”. I have been married twelve years and my husband is the stepfather of my now adult children. I adore my kids. But my husband wants to move up north to a warmer all-year-round climate. He is much older than I am and I am a young person by nature and I love young people. “MY WIFE CAN’T REMEMBER IF SHE CHEATED ON ME” My wife then said, “I am sorry, but I don’t remember any of this or what happened.”. Well, I’m sorry, but unless a person has cheated a godly number of times, I think there would be some recollection of at least the early portion of the evening before the booze took its full effect. Now, I will add to this. “MY BOYFRIEND SLEPT WITH A PROSTITUTE AND THE CONDOM BROKE” My boyfriend of six years, the father of our two amazing children, came home and told me that he went to a massage parlor for a “rub-and-tug,” and when the lady/prostitute offered him “more,” he said “yes,” and then the condom broke. I havealways been
YOUR TURN: “HOW CAN I FORGIVE HIM FOR SEXTING OTHER WOMEN?” New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice. In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, “MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS MAD THAT MY MALE ROOMMATES SEE ME … I’ve lived with my two guy friends for about two and a half years. They’re my best friends in the world, and although we argue and fight sometimes, they’re still my family. We’ve supported each other through everything from broken hearts, to getting fired, to the loss of a parent. When I first moved in “MY BOYFRIEND IS ALWAYS NAKED IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE” My boyfriend is 22 and ever since I have known him, he has been very comfortable being naked or semi-naked in front of his family, which consists of his older sister and his mother. We have been dating for two years and I live with my parents. A while back I pointed out howodd
SHORTCUTS: “WHY DOES MY EX STILL HAVE PICTURES OF ME ON It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I have an ex-girlfriend “I WANT TO MOVE AND MY WIFE DOES NOT. WILL THIS END OUR I read the column, “My Husband and I Can’t Agree on Where to Move”, as it’s applicable to my situation. My wife and I live in the San Francisco Bay area. My daughter and family live less than 45 minutes away (driving time), with the rest of wife’s family about an hour’s drive away. My 15 THINGS COUPLES SHOULD DO BEFORE MOVING IN TOGETHER Yesterday, we had a letter from a young woman who had some concerns — mostly financial — about moving in with her boyfriend of a year. For those of you who are also considering a similar move forward in your relationship and hope to avoid some common pitfalls and a potentially disastrous living situation (and even a breakup), here is a list of 15 things you and your significant other “MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS MAD THAT MY MALE ROOMMATES SEE ME NAKED” I’ve lived with my two guy friends for about two and a half years. They’re my best friends in the world, and although we argue and fight sometimes, they’re still my family. We’ve supported each other through everything from broken hearts, to getting fired, to the loss of a parent. When I first moved in “I DON’T LIKE MY BOYFRIEND’S DAUGHTER. SHOULD I BREAK UP Should I leave my wonderful boyfriend, “Peter,” (48) because his teenager daughter is so, so difficult? Peter is my best friend and, frankly, the kindest man I have ever met. He’s a fantastic partner who is loving, attentive, very successful, accomplished, YOUR TURN: “IF HE LOVED ME, HE’D MOVE FOR ME” I’m taking a day off today to enjoy some down time with Drew, so I present this “Your Turn,” without commentary from me: I am in a serious long-distance relationship with someone I met in college. I moved back to my hometown, across the country, a year after we met, and we then started dating DEAR WENDY: “I’M 18 AND MY BOYFRIEND IS 30” You can help them accept your boyfriend by having plenty of reasons of why you love him and why you’re good together. You’ll need to be prepared to answer whatever questions they have, like where you met, how serious you are, and why he isn’t dating someone his own age. “IS BEING ‘TOO BUSY’ A VALID REASON TO END A RELATIONSHIP?” New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com “MY NEIGHBORS KEEP COMPLAINING TO US ABOUT NOISE” From the forums: I live in a two-family home (think two-story row houses) in a big city and I’m having some problems with my upstairs neighbors. My boyfriend and I live in the one-bedroom apartment on the first floor, and a family with two children, 5 “I HAD SEX WITH HIM AND NOW HE’S GHOSTING ME” I’m not sure either of these scenarios was the case for you, but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed at this point. Here’s what you should do: Be direct in your communication with the guy. Tell him you’ve noticed that he’s been less responsive recently and youwere wondering if
YOUR TURN: “MY HUSBAND’S DAUGHTER DIDN’T INVITE ME TO HER I just have to say that I think your husband made a terrible mistake by not attending his own daughter’s wedding. She is pregnant. This was a thrown together shot gun wedding that included only her parents, not some elaborate affair that was planned for a year in DEAR WENDY — A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE SITEADVICEABOUTARCHIVESCATEGORIESSUPPORT DWCONTACT It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now.Today we hear from “Not So Transparent,” who wondered whether she should tell her boyfriend that her friend Nick is trans. She wrote: “He doesn’t know that Nick is trans, which doesn’t matter except I feel HOW FAR WOULD/DID YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE? This column from earlier in the week prompted some thoughts about how far people are going in the first couple of dates. (It also prompted at least one person to leave the site for good, but that’s another story.) The LW didn’t kiss on the first date, and we can assume from her letter and her update, that that’s probably normal for her.. Obviously, she was thrown for a loop when her date “CAN I SKIP MY NIECE’S WEDDING?” I am torn about whether to attend my 30-year-old old niece’s wedding. I love her very much and I’ve always figured I would attend all of my niece’s and nephew’s weddings. I’ve always loved children and, since we don’t have any, I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with them. Some history: When “MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS JEALOUS OF MY DOG!” My boyfriend and I have been dating for about three months – he’s 27 and I am 31. We live about an hour and a half away from each other; we see each other weekly (he usually drives to see me and I cook for him, because I live in a city with more to do and he lives in the worst town in our state) and we talk every day. “AFTER 40 YEARS, I CAN’T STAND MY HUSBAND” “domestic science” used to be a real thing! although i like “domestic art”. and fun fact: “domestic science” is the way that women were first allowed into science. the first female graduate of MIT was admitted under the idea of domestic science. she was allowed to study chemistry because she was a woman studying how toclean better.
15 THINGS COUPLES SHOULD DO BEFORE MOVING IN TOGETHER Yesterday, we had a letter from a young woman who had some concerns — mostly financial — about moving in with her boyfriend of a year. For those of you who are also considering a similar move forward in your relationship and hope to avoid some common pitfalls and a potentially disastrous living situation (and even a breakup), here is a list of 15 things you and your significant other “MY WIFE CAN’T REMEMBER IF SHE CHEATED ON ME” My wife then said, “I am sorry, but I don’t remember any of this or what happened.”. Well, I’m sorry, but unless a person has cheated a godly number of times, I think there would be some recollection of at least the early portion of the evening before the booze took its full effect. Now, I will add to this. YOUR TURN: “HOW CAN I FORGIVE HIM FOR SEXTING OTHER WOMEN?” New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice. In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, “MY BOYFRIEND IS ALWAYS NAKED IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE” My boyfriend is 22 and ever since I have known him, he has been very comfortable being naked or semi-naked in front of his family, which consists of his older sister and his mother. We have been dating for two years and I live with my parents. A while back I pointed out howodd
“I WASN’T INVITED TO MY SISTER-IN-LAW’S PARTY SO MY My husband has been invited to a small 40th birthday dinner for his sister in Chicago (we live in Boston). I have not been invited nor has the absence of my invitation been addressed. My question: is this acceptable? I feel strongly that my husband should decline a family invitation when I am excluded — DEAR WENDY — A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE SITEADVICEABOUTARCHIVESCATEGORIESSUPPORT DWCONTACT It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now.Today we hear from “Not So Transparent,” who wondered whether she should tell her boyfriend that her friend Nick is trans. She wrote: “He doesn’t know that Nick is trans, which doesn’t matter except I feel HOW FAR WOULD/DID YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE? This column from earlier in the week prompted some thoughts about how far people are going in the first couple of dates. (It also prompted at least one person to leave the site for good, but that’s another story.) The LW didn’t kiss on the first date, and we can assume from her letter and her update, that that’s probably normal for her.. Obviously, she was thrown for a loop when her date “CAN I SKIP MY NIECE’S WEDDING?” I am torn about whether to attend my 30-year-old old niece’s wedding. I love her very much and I’ve always figured I would attend all of my niece’s and nephew’s weddings. I’ve always loved children and, since we don’t have any, I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with them. Some history: When “MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS JEALOUS OF MY DOG!” My boyfriend and I have been dating for about three months – he’s 27 and I am 31. We live about an hour and a half away from each other; we see each other weekly (he usually drives to see me and I cook for him, because I live in a city with more to do and he lives in the worst town in our state) and we talk every day. “AFTER 40 YEARS, I CAN’T STAND MY HUSBAND” “domestic science” used to be a real thing! although i like “domestic art”. and fun fact: “domestic science” is the way that women were first allowed into science. the first female graduate of MIT was admitted under the idea of domestic science. she was allowed to study chemistry because she was a woman studying how toclean better.
15 THINGS COUPLES SHOULD DO BEFORE MOVING IN TOGETHER Yesterday, we had a letter from a young woman who had some concerns — mostly financial — about moving in with her boyfriend of a year. For those of you who are also considering a similar move forward in your relationship and hope to avoid some common pitfalls and a potentially disastrous living situation (and even a breakup), here is a list of 15 things you and your significant other “MY WIFE CAN’T REMEMBER IF SHE CHEATED ON ME” My wife then said, “I am sorry, but I don’t remember any of this or what happened.”. Well, I’m sorry, but unless a person has cheated a godly number of times, I think there would be some recollection of at least the early portion of the evening before the booze took its full effect. Now, I will add to this. YOUR TURN: “HOW CAN I FORGIVE HIM FOR SEXTING OTHER WOMEN?” New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice. In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, “MY BOYFRIEND IS ALWAYS NAKED IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE” My boyfriend is 22 and ever since I have known him, he has been very comfortable being naked or semi-naked in front of his family, which consists of his older sister and his mother. We have been dating for two years and I live with my parents. A while back I pointed out howodd
“I WASN’T INVITED TO MY SISTER-IN-LAW’S PARTY SO MY My husband has been invited to a small 40th birthday dinner for his sister in Chicago (we live in Boston). I have not been invited nor has the absence of my invitation been addressed. My question: is this acceptable? I feel strongly that my husband should decline a family invitation when I am excluded — “MY BOYFRIEND TREATS HIS DAUGHTER LIKE SHE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND” So, he is either in the me phase or in the daughter phase. In short, he treats his 18-year-old daughter like a girlfriend (minus the sexual side of it, which he doesn’t feel – believe me, I checked all the signs). I confronted him about this, and he went to therapy. But the therapist blah-blah-blah’d about dealing with divorce and didn “MY BOYFRIEND IS ALWAYS NAKED IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE” My boyfriend is 22 and ever since I have known him, he has been very comfortable being naked or semi-naked in front of his family, which consists of his older sister and his mother. We have been dating for two years and I live with my parents. A while back I pointed out howodd
“I DON’T LIKE MY BOYFRIEND’S DAUGHTER. SHOULD I BREAK UP Should I leave my wonderful boyfriend, “Peter,” (48) because his teenager daughter is so, so difficult? Peter is my best friend and, frankly, the kindest man I have ever met. He’s a fantastic partner who is loving, attentive, very successful, accomplished, “MY BOYFRIEND SLEPT WITH A PROSTITUTE AND THE CONDOM BROKE” My boyfriend of six years, the father of our two amazing children, came home and told me that he went to a massage parlor for a “rub-and-tug,” and when the lady/prostitute offered him “more,” he said “yes,” and then the condom broke. I havealways been
“I TOLD HIM I LOVE HIM AND HE SAID HE DOESN’T FEEL THE I told him this past weekend that I loved him, and he said he did not feel the same way back. He acts like he does, and everybody around me was completely shocked that he did not say it in return. What I do know is his ex broke up with him a year and a half ago and that was the only person he had ever been close to/loved. YOUR TURN: “IF HE LOVED ME, HE’D MOVE FOR ME” I’m taking a day off today to enjoy some down time with Drew, so I present this “Your Turn,” without commentary from me: I am in a serious long-distance relationship with someone I met in college. I moved back to my hometown, across the country, a year after we met, and we then started dating “MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS MAD THAT MY MALE ROOMMATES SEE ME NAKED” I’ve lived with my two guy friends for about two and a half years. They’re my best friends in the world, and although we argue and fight sometimes, they’re still my family. We’ve supported each other through everything from broken hearts, to getting fired, to the loss of a parent. When I first moved in MORNING QUICKIE: “NO ONE IS COMING TO MY DESTINATION It’s Wedding Week on Dear Wendy! This week will be chock-full of wedding columns, gift guides, listicles, dollar dances and an open bar. If you love wedding content, this is your lucky week. If you hate wedding content, this is your lucky week because–open bar! But just kidding about the open bar. I “MY WIFE LIED ABOUT HER SEXUAL HISTORY” My wife and I have been together for twenty years, married going on seventeen years. We have a good marriage and two beautiful kids. When began dating, she was always open about her sexual past as was I about mine. We work in an environment where she knew that is was inevitablethat I would
“MY BOYFRIEND HAS NAKED PICTURES OF HIS BEST FRIEND’S WIFE!” My boyfriend recently let me borrow his iPad, I snooped, and found forty-seven pictures he took a year ago (before we started dating) of his best friend’s wife. In the pictures she was passed out naked and drunk next to his best friend.They don’t know he took the pictures. I also found a video he DEAR WENDY — A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE SITEADVICEABOUTARCHIVESCATEGORIESSUPPORT DWCONTACT It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now.Today we hear from “Not So Transparent,” who wondered whether she should tell her boyfriend that her friend Nick is trans. She wrote: “He doesn’t know that Nick is trans, which doesn’t matter except I feel “I WANT TO MOVE AND MY WIFE DOES NOT. WILL THIS END OUR I read the column, “My Husband and I Can’t Agree on Where to Move”, as it’s applicable to my situation. My wife and I live in the San Francisco Bay area. My daughter and family live less than 45 minutes away (driving time), with the rest of wife’s family about an hour’s drive away. My “CAN I SKIP MY NIECE’S WEDDING?” I am torn about whether to attend my 30-year-old old niece’s wedding. I love her very much and I’ve always figured I would attend all of my niece’s and nephew’s weddings. I’ve always loved children and, since we don’t have any, I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with them. Some history: When “AFTER 40 YEARS, I CAN’T STAND MY HUSBAND” “domestic science” used to be a real thing! although i like “domestic art”. and fun fact: “domestic science” is the way that women were first allowed into science. the first female graduate of MIT was admitted under the idea of domestic science. she was allowed to study chemistry because she was a woman studying how toclean better.
“I DON’T LIKE MY BOYFRIEND’S DAUGHTER. SHOULD I BREAK UP Should I leave my wonderful boyfriend, “Peter,” (48) because his teenager daughter is so, so difficult? Peter is my best friend and, frankly, the kindest man I have ever met. He’s a fantastic partner who is loving, attentive, very successful, accomplished, MORNING QUICKIE: “MY HUSBAND WANTS TO MOVE, BUT I DON’T” Morning Quickie: “My Husband Wants to Move, But I Don’t”. I have been married twelve years and my husband is the stepfather of my now adult children. I adore my kids. But my husband wants to move up north to a warmer all-year-round climate. He is much older than I am and I am a young person by nature and I love young people. 15 THINGS COUPLES SHOULD DO BEFORE MOVING IN TOGETHER Yesterday, we had a letter from a young woman who had some concerns — mostly financial — about moving in with her boyfriend of a year. For those of you who are also considering a similar move forward in your relationship and hope to avoid some common pitfalls and a potentially disastrous living situation (and even a breakup), here is a list of 15 things you and your significant other “MY WIFE CAN’T REMEMBER IF SHE CHEATED ON ME” My wife then said, “I am sorry, but I don’t remember any of this or what happened.”. Well, I’m sorry, but unless a person has cheated a godly number of times, I think there would be some recollection of at least the early portion of the evening before the booze took its full effect. Now, I will add to this. “MY BOYFRIEND IS ALWAYS NAKED IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE” My boyfriend is 22 and ever since I have known him, he has been very comfortable being naked or semi-naked in front of his family, which consists of his older sister and his mother. We have been dating for two years and I live with my parents. A while back I pointed out howodd
“MY NEIGHBORS KEEP COMPLAINING TO US ABOUT NOISE” From the forums: I live in a two-family home (think two-story row houses) in a big city and I’m having some problems with my upstairs neighbors. My boyfriend and I live in the one-bedroom apartment on the first floor, and a family with two children, 5 DEAR WENDY — A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE SITEADVICEABOUTARCHIVESCATEGORIESSUPPORT DWCONTACT It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now.Today we hear from “Not So Transparent,” who wondered whether she should tell her boyfriend that her friend Nick is trans. She wrote: “He doesn’t know that Nick is trans, which doesn’t matter except I feel “I WANT TO MOVE AND MY WIFE DOES NOT. WILL THIS END OUR I read the column, “My Husband and I Can’t Agree on Where to Move”, as it’s applicable to my situation. My wife and I live in the San Francisco Bay area. My daughter and family live less than 45 minutes away (driving time), with the rest of wife’s family about an hour’s drive away. My “CAN I SKIP MY NIECE’S WEDDING?” I am torn about whether to attend my 30-year-old old niece’s wedding. I love her very much and I’ve always figured I would attend all of my niece’s and nephew’s weddings. I’ve always loved children and, since we don’t have any, I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with them. Some history: When “AFTER 40 YEARS, I CAN’T STAND MY HUSBAND” “domestic science” used to be a real thing! although i like “domestic art”. and fun fact: “domestic science” is the way that women were first allowed into science. the first female graduate of MIT was admitted under the idea of domestic science. she was allowed to study chemistry because she was a woman studying how toclean better.
“I DON’T LIKE MY BOYFRIEND’S DAUGHTER. SHOULD I BREAK UP Should I leave my wonderful boyfriend, “Peter,” (48) because his teenager daughter is so, so difficult? Peter is my best friend and, frankly, the kindest man I have ever met. He’s a fantastic partner who is loving, attentive, very successful, accomplished, MORNING QUICKIE: “MY HUSBAND WANTS TO MOVE, BUT I DON’T” Morning Quickie: “My Husband Wants to Move, But I Don’t”. I have been married twelve years and my husband is the stepfather of my now adult children. I adore my kids. But my husband wants to move up north to a warmer all-year-round climate. He is much older than I am and I am a young person by nature and I love young people. 15 THINGS COUPLES SHOULD DO BEFORE MOVING IN TOGETHER Yesterday, we had a letter from a young woman who had some concerns — mostly financial — about moving in with her boyfriend of a year. For those of you who are also considering a similar move forward in your relationship and hope to avoid some common pitfalls and a potentially disastrous living situation (and even a breakup), here is a list of 15 things you and your significant other “MY WIFE CAN’T REMEMBER IF SHE CHEATED ON ME” My wife then said, “I am sorry, but I don’t remember any of this or what happened.”. Well, I’m sorry, but unless a person has cheated a godly number of times, I think there would be some recollection of at least the early portion of the evening before the booze took its full effect. Now, I will add to this. “MY BOYFRIEND IS ALWAYS NAKED IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE” My boyfriend is 22 and ever since I have known him, he has been very comfortable being naked or semi-naked in front of his family, which consists of his older sister and his mother. We have been dating for two years and I live with my parents. A while back I pointed out howodd
“MY NEIGHBORS KEEP COMPLAINING TO US ABOUT NOISE” From the forums: I live in a two-family home (think two-story row houses) in a big city and I’m having some problems with my upstairs neighbors. My boyfriend and I live in the one-bedroom apartment on the first floor, and a family with two children, 5 ARCHIVES - DEAR WENDY Archives. ‘A’ is for Awesome, A-A-Awesome. “A Co-Worker’s Girlfriend Is Telling People I’m the Office Slut”. “A Friend Groped My Wife At a New Year’s Party”. “A Man at Church Told Me I Should Be a Geisha”. “After 40 Years, I Can’t Stand My Husband”. “After My Miscarriages, My HOW FAR WOULD/DID YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE? This column from earlier in the week prompted some thoughts about how far people are going in the first couple of dates. (It also prompted at least one person to leave the site for good, but that’s another story.) The LW didn’t kiss on the first date, and we can assume from her letter and her update, that that’s probably normal for her.. Obviously, she was thrown for a loop when her date “MY BOYFRIEND TREATS HIS DAUGHTER LIKE SHE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND” My partner,”Bob,” has an 18-year-old daughter from his previous marriage. Bob and I are not married, but we are aiming to live together along with with my 12-year-old son with whom Bob has an amazing relationship. The problem here is Bob’s daughter. First of all, Bob and I were in abusive marriages prior to our “MY BOYFRIEND SLEPT WITH A PROSTITUTE AND THE CONDOM BROKE” My boyfriend of six years, the father of our two amazing children, came home and told me that he went to a massage parlor for a “rub-and-tug,” and when the lady/prostitute offered him “more,” he said “yes,” and then the condom broke. I havealways been
“I TOLD HIM I LOVE HIM AND HE SAID HE DOESN’T FEEL THE I told him this past weekend that I loved him, and he said he did not feel the same way back. He acts like he does, and everybody around me was completely shocked that he did not say it in return. What I do know is his ex broke up with him a year and a half ago and that was the only person he had ever been close to/loved. YOUR TURN: “IF HE LOVED ME, HE’D MOVE FOR ME” I’m taking a day off today to enjoy some down time with Drew, so I present this “Your Turn,” without commentary from me: I am in a serious long-distance relationship with someone I met in college. I moved back to my hometown, across the country, a year after we met, and we then started dating “MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS MAD THAT MY MALE ROOMMATES SEE ME NAKED” I’ve lived with my two guy friends for about two and a half years. They’re my best friends in the world, and although we argue and fight sometimes, they’re still my family. We’ve supported each other through everything from broken hearts, to getting fired, to the loss of a parent. When I first moved in YOUR TURN: “HOW CAN I FORGIVE HIM FOR SEXTING OTHER WOMEN?” New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice. In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, “MY BOYFRIEND HAS NAKED PICTURES OF HIS BEST FRIEND’S WIFE!” My boyfriend recently let me borrow his iPad, I snooped, and found forty-seven pictures he took a year ago (before we started dating) of his best friend’s wife. In the pictures she was passed out naked and drunk next to his best friend.They don’t know he took the pictures. I also found a video he “I WASN’T INVITED TO MY SISTER-IN-LAW’S PARTY SO MY My husband has been invited to a small 40th birthday dinner for his sister in Chicago (we live in Boston). I have not been invited nor has the absence of my invitation been addressed. My question: is this acceptable? I feel strongly that my husband should decline a family invitation when I am excluded — DEAR WENDY — A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE SITEADVICEABOUTARCHIVESCATEGORIESSUPPORT DWCONTACT It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now.Today we hear from “Not So Transparent,” who wondered whether she should tell her boyfriend that her friend Nick is trans. She wrote: “He doesn’t know that Nick is trans, which doesn’t matter except I feel “CAN I SKIP MY NIECE’S WEDDING?” I am torn about whether to attend my 30-year-old old niece’s wedding. I love her very much and I’ve always figured I would attend all of my niece’s and nephew’s weddings. I’ve always loved children and, since we don’t have any, I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with them. Some history: When “I WANT TO MOVE AND MY WIFE DOES NOT. WILL THIS END OUR I read the column, “My Husband and I Can’t Agree on Where to Move”, as it’s applicable to my situation. My wife and I live in the San Francisco Bay area. My daughter and family live less than 45 minutes away (driving time), with the rest of wife’s family about an hour’s drive away. My “AFTER 40 YEARS, I CAN’T STAND MY HUSBAND” “domestic science” used to be a real thing! although i like “domestic art”. and fun fact: “domestic science” is the way that women were first allowed into science. the first female graduate of MIT was admitted under the idea of domestic science. she was allowed to study chemistry because she was a woman studying how toclean better.
15 THINGS COUPLES SHOULD DO BEFORE MOVING IN TOGETHER Yesterday, we had a letter from a young woman who had some concerns — mostly financial — about moving in with her boyfriend of a year. For those of you who are also considering a similar move forward in your relationship and hope to avoid some common pitfalls and a potentially disastrous living situation (and even a breakup), here is a list of 15 things you and your significant other “I DON’T LIKE MY BOYFRIEND’S DAUGHTER. SHOULD I BREAK UP Should I leave my wonderful boyfriend, “Peter,” (48) because his teenager daughter is so, so difficult? Peter is my best friend and, frankly, the kindest man I have ever met. He’s a fantastic partner who is loving, attentive, very successful, accomplished, MORNING QUICKIE: “MY HUSBAND WANTS TO MOVE, BUT I DON’T” I have been married twelve years and my husband is the stepfather of my now adult children. I adore my kids. But my husband wants to move up north to a warmer all-year-round climate. He is much older than I am and I am a young person by nature and I love young people. We “MY WIFE CAN’T REMEMBER IF SHE CHEATED ON ME” My wife, “Jill,” and I got married early, while still in college. Because we were young, we had growing pains. It was not fun, but we managed to work things out over the years and have had a very good marriage for many years since. However, there was one thing that occurred within the first “MY BOYFRIEND IS ALWAYS NAKED IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE” My boyfriend is 22 and ever since I have known him, he has been very comfortable being naked or semi-naked in front of his family, which consists of his older sister and his mother. We have been dating for two years and I live with my parents. A while back I pointed out howodd
“MY NEIGHBORS KEEP COMPLAINING TO US ABOUT NOISE” From the forums: I live in a two-family home (think two-story row houses) in a big city and I’m having some problems with my upstairs neighbors. My boyfriend and I live in the one-bedroom apartment on the first floor, and a family with two children, 5 DEAR WENDY — A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE SITEADVICEABOUTARCHIVESCATEGORIESSUPPORT DWCONTACT It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now.Today we hear from “Not So Transparent,” who wondered whether she should tell her boyfriend that her friend Nick is trans. She wrote: “He doesn’t know that Nick is trans, which doesn’t matter except I feel “CAN I SKIP MY NIECE’S WEDDING?” I am torn about whether to attend my 30-year-old old niece’s wedding. I love her very much and I’ve always figured I would attend all of my niece’s and nephew’s weddings. I’ve always loved children and, since we don’t have any, I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with them. Some history: When “I WANT TO MOVE AND MY WIFE DOES NOT. WILL THIS END OUR I read the column, “My Husband and I Can’t Agree on Where to Move”, as it’s applicable to my situation. My wife and I live in the San Francisco Bay area. My daughter and family live less than 45 minutes away (driving time), with the rest of wife’s family about an hour’s drive away. My “AFTER 40 YEARS, I CAN’T STAND MY HUSBAND” “domestic science” used to be a real thing! although i like “domestic art”. and fun fact: “domestic science” is the way that women were first allowed into science. the first female graduate of MIT was admitted under the idea of domestic science. she was allowed to study chemistry because she was a woman studying how toclean better.
15 THINGS COUPLES SHOULD DO BEFORE MOVING IN TOGETHER Yesterday, we had a letter from a young woman who had some concerns — mostly financial — about moving in with her boyfriend of a year. For those of you who are also considering a similar move forward in your relationship and hope to avoid some common pitfalls and a potentially disastrous living situation (and even a breakup), here is a list of 15 things you and your significant other “I DON’T LIKE MY BOYFRIEND’S DAUGHTER. SHOULD I BREAK UP Should I leave my wonderful boyfriend, “Peter,” (48) because his teenager daughter is so, so difficult? Peter is my best friend and, frankly, the kindest man I have ever met. He’s a fantastic partner who is loving, attentive, very successful, accomplished, MORNING QUICKIE: “MY HUSBAND WANTS TO MOVE, BUT I DON’T” I have been married twelve years and my husband is the stepfather of my now adult children. I adore my kids. But my husband wants to move up north to a warmer all-year-round climate. He is much older than I am and I am a young person by nature and I love young people. We “MY WIFE CAN’T REMEMBER IF SHE CHEATED ON ME” My wife, “Jill,” and I got married early, while still in college. Because we were young, we had growing pains. It was not fun, but we managed to work things out over the years and have had a very good marriage for many years since. However, there was one thing that occurred within the first “MY BOYFRIEND IS ALWAYS NAKED IN HIS MOM’S HOUSE” My boyfriend is 22 and ever since I have known him, he has been very comfortable being naked or semi-naked in front of his family, which consists of his older sister and his mother. We have been dating for two years and I live with my parents. A while back I pointed out howodd
“MY NEIGHBORS KEEP COMPLAINING TO US ABOUT NOISE” From the forums: I live in a two-family home (think two-story row houses) in a big city and I’m having some problems with my upstairs neighbors. My boyfriend and I live in the one-bedroom apartment on the first floor, and a family with two children, 5 ARCHIVES - DEAR WENDY ‘A’ is for Awesome, A-A-Awesome “A Co-Worker’s Girlfriend Is Telling People I’m the Office Slut” “A Friend Groped My Wife At a New Year’s Party” HOW FAR WOULD/DID YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE? This column from earlier in the week prompted some thoughts about how far people are going in the first couple of dates. (It also prompted at least one person to leave the site for good, but that’s another story.) The LW didn’t kiss on the first date, and we can assume from her letter and her update, that that’s probably normal for her.. Obviously, she was thrown for a loop when her date “MY BOYFRIEND TREATS HIS DAUGHTER LIKE SHE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND” My partner,”Bob,” has an 18-year-old daughter from his previous marriage. Bob and I are not married, but we are aiming to live together along with with my 12-year-old son with whom Bob has an amazing relationship. The problem here is Bob’s daughter. First of all, Bob and I were in abusive marriages prior to our “I TOLD HIM I LOVE HIM AND HE SAID HE DOESN’T FEEL THE I have been in a relationship for five months. We spend just about every day together — I either stay at his place or he will stay at mine (we don’t formally live together). He has taken me on multiple trips, and we have a lot of fun together. He even bought me a bike “MY BOYFRIEND SLEPT WITH A PROSTITUTE AND THE CONDOM BROKE” My boyfriend of six years, the father of our two amazing children, came home and told me that he went to a massage parlor for a “rub-and-tug,” and when the lady/prostitute offered him “more,” he said “yes,” and then the condom broke. I havealways been
YOUR TURN: “IF HE LOVED ME, HE’D MOVE FOR ME” I’m taking a day off today to enjoy some down time with Drew, so I present this “Your Turn,” without commentary from me: I am in a serious long-distance relationship with someone I met in college. I moved back to my hometown, across the country, a year after we met, and we then started dating “MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS MAD THAT MY MALE ROOMMATES SEE ME … I’ve lived with my two guy friends for about two and a half years. They’re my best friends in the world, and although we argue and fight sometimes, they’re still my family. We’ve supported each other through everything from broken hearts, to getting fired, to the loss of a parent. When I first moved in YOUR TURN: “HOW CAN I FORGIVE HIM FOR SEXTING OTHER WOMEN?” New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice. In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, “MY BOYFRIEND HAS NAKED PICTURES OF HIS BEST FRIEND’S WIFE!” My boyfriend recently let me borrow his iPad, I snooped, and found forty-seven pictures he took a year ago (before we started dating) of his best friend’s wife. In the pictures she was passed out naked and drunk next to his best friend.They don’t know he took the pictures. I also found a video he “I WASN’T INVITED TO MY SISTER-IN-LAW’S PARTY SO MY My husband has been invited to a small 40th birthday dinner for his sister in Chicago (we live in Boston). I have not been invited nor has the absence of my invitation been addressed. My question: is this acceptable? I feel strongly that my husband should decline a family invitation when I am excluded — DEAR WENDY — A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE SITEADVICEABOUTARCHIVESCATEGORIESSUPPORT DWCONTACT A relationship advice site. I don’t know about you, but as the season changes, the school year – this awful, stressful school year – finally starts drawing to a close (31 days to go here in NYC), and life once again begins to return to something resembling normal, I feel my mood lift and my energy shift. HOW FAR WOULD/DID YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE? This column from earlier in the week prompted some thoughts about how far people are going in the first couple of dates. (It also prompted at least one person to leave the site for good, but that’s another story.) The LW didn’t kiss on the first date, and we can assume from her letter and her update, that that’s probably normal for her.. Obviously, she was thrown for a loop when her date “MY BOYFRIEND TREATS HIS DAUGHTER LIKE SHE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND” So, he is either in the me phase or in the daughter phase. In short, he treats his 18-year-old daughter like a girlfriend (minus the sexual side of it, which he doesn’t feel – believe me, I checked all the signs). I confronted him about this, and he went to therapy. But the therapist blah-blah-blah’d about dealing with divorce and didn “AFTER 40 YEARS, I CAN’T STAND MY HUSBAND” “domestic science” used to be a real thing! although i like “domestic art”. and fun fact: “domestic science” is the way that women were first allowed into science. the first female graduate of MIT was admitted under the idea of domestic science. she was allowed to study chemistry because she was a woman studying how toclean better.
MORNING QUICKIE: “MY HUSBAND WANTS TO MOVE, BUT I DON’T” Morning Quickie: “My Husband Wants to Move, But I Don’t”. I have been married twelve years and my husband is the stepfather of my now adult children. I adore my kids. But my husband wants to move up north to a warmer all-year-round climate. He is much older than I am and I am a young person by nature and I love young people. “CAN I SKIP MY NIECE’S WEDDING?” I am torn about whether to attend my 30-year-old old niece’s wedding. I love her very much and I’ve always figured I would attend all of my niece’s and nephew’s weddings. I’ve always loved children and, since we don’t have any, I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with them. Some history: When “MY FRIEND BECAME A LIBERAL AND NOW REFUSES TO TALK TO ME” I’ve been very close friends with both “Molly” and “Sarah” for over fifteen years. Sarah is married to Molly’s brother, so they are both friends and sisters-in-law. We are very close to each other and with each others’ families. About two years ago, Molly movedaway to a
“I HAD SEX WITH HIM AND NOW HE’S GHOSTING ME” I’m not sure either of these scenarios was the case for you, but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed at this point. Here’s what you should do: Be direct in your communication with the guy. Tell him you’ve noticed that he’s been less responsive recently and youwere wondering if
“MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS MAD THAT MY MALE ROOMMATES SEE ME … I’ve lived with my two guy friends for about two and a half years. They’re my best friends in the world, and although we argue and fight sometimes, they’re still my family. We’ve supported each other through everything from broken hearts, to getting fired, to the loss of a parent. When I first moved in SHORTCUTS: “WHY DOES MY EX STILL HAVE PICTURES OF ME ON It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I have an ex-girlfriend DEAR WENDY — A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE SITEADVICEABOUTARCHIVESCATEGORIESSUPPORT DWCONTACT A relationship advice site. I don’t know about you, but as the season changes, the school year – this awful, stressful school year – finally starts drawing to a close (31 days to go here in NYC), and life once again begins to return to something resembling normal, I feel my mood lift and my energy shift. HOW FAR WOULD/DID YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE? This column from earlier in the week prompted some thoughts about how far people are going in the first couple of dates. (It also prompted at least one person to leave the site for good, but that’s another story.) The LW didn’t kiss on the first date, and we can assume from her letter and her update, that that’s probably normal for her.. Obviously, she was thrown for a loop when her date “MY BOYFRIEND TREATS HIS DAUGHTER LIKE SHE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND” So, he is either in the me phase or in the daughter phase. In short, he treats his 18-year-old daughter like a girlfriend (minus the sexual side of it, which he doesn’t feel – believe me, I checked all the signs). I confronted him about this, and he went to therapy. But the therapist blah-blah-blah’d about dealing with divorce and didn “AFTER 40 YEARS, I CAN’T STAND MY HUSBAND” “domestic science” used to be a real thing! although i like “domestic art”. and fun fact: “domestic science” is the way that women were first allowed into science. the first female graduate of MIT was admitted under the idea of domestic science. she was allowed to study chemistry because she was a woman studying how toclean better.
MORNING QUICKIE: “MY HUSBAND WANTS TO MOVE, BUT I DON’T” Morning Quickie: “My Husband Wants to Move, But I Don’t”. I have been married twelve years and my husband is the stepfather of my now adult children. I adore my kids. But my husband wants to move up north to a warmer all-year-round climate. He is much older than I am and I am a young person by nature and I love young people. “CAN I SKIP MY NIECE’S WEDDING?” I am torn about whether to attend my 30-year-old old niece’s wedding. I love her very much and I’ve always figured I would attend all of my niece’s and nephew’s weddings. I’ve always loved children and, since we don’t have any, I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with them. Some history: When “MY FRIEND BECAME A LIBERAL AND NOW REFUSES TO TALK TO ME” I’ve been very close friends with both “Molly” and “Sarah” for over fifteen years. Sarah is married to Molly’s brother, so they are both friends and sisters-in-law. We are very close to each other and with each others’ families. About two years ago, Molly movedaway to a
“I HAD SEX WITH HIM AND NOW HE’S GHOSTING ME” I’m not sure either of these scenarios was the case for you, but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed at this point. Here’s what you should do: Be direct in your communication with the guy. Tell him you’ve noticed that he’s been less responsive recently and youwere wondering if
“MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS MAD THAT MY MALE ROOMMATES SEE ME … I’ve lived with my two guy friends for about two and a half years. They’re my best friends in the world, and although we argue and fight sometimes, they’re still my family. We’ve supported each other through everything from broken hearts, to getting fired, to the loss of a parent. When I first moved in SHORTCUTS: “WHY DOES MY EX STILL HAVE PICTURES OF ME ON It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I have an ex-girlfriend ARCHIVES - DEAR WENDY Archives. ‘A’ is for Awesome, A-A-Awesome. “A Co-Worker’s Girlfriend Is Telling People I’m the Office Slut”. “A Friend Groped My Wife At a New Year’s Party”. “A Man at Church Told Me I Should Be a Geisha”. “After 40 Years, I Can’t Stand My Husband”. “After My Miscarriages, My “MY HUSBAND SPENDS ALL HIS TIME WITH HIS FRIENDS INSTEAD My husband and I have been married two years this coming November and it’s been great! We rarely fight about the things most couples fight about (money, sex) and we don’t have children to fight over (yet)but we do fight about his friends. We live two hours from any of my friends or family, and, “MY BIRTH DAUGHTER FOUND ME, BUT I DON’T WANT TO MEET HER” Put it in a letter. Give it to your husband to give to her when they meet. Let her know that you love her and that, to survive the pain of giving her up 23 years ago, you had to bottle emotions, emotions you are afraid of confronting now. The introduction of your birth daughter to your family now after all these years is a big deal, whether you “I TOLD HIM I LOVE HIM AND HE SAID HE DOESN’T FEEL THE I told him this past weekend that I loved him, and he said he did not feel the same way back. He acts like he does, and everybody around me was completely shocked that he did not say it in return. What I do know is his ex broke up with him a year and a half ago and that was the only person he had ever been close to/loved. “HE’S SLEEPING WITH ME BUT DATING SOMEONE ELSE” First, I’m sorry about the loss of your husband, and I hope you’ve had a good support system as you grieve and re-build your life. Second, your letter is a good reminder, to those of us who don’t yet have the years of experience and wisdom you’ve surely gained, that many of the feelings we have when single and dating are universal, despite age, circumstances, culture, and lifestyle. “I DON’T LIKE MY BOYFRIEND’S DAUGHTER. SHOULD I BREAK UP Should I leave my wonderful boyfriend, “Peter,” (48) because his teenager daughter is so, so difficult? Peter is my best friend and, frankly, the kindest man I have ever met. He’s a fantastic partner who is loving, attentive, very successful, accomplished, “MY WIFE TOLD ME OUR KIDS AREN’T BIOLOGICALLY MINE” In 2003 she got her dream job and, unbeknownst to me, she also met her dream dude at the new job. It was not until 2012 that she finally told me about the relationship (even though I suspected something) but, as she told me about this person. she added that my two kids, ages 3 and 4 at the time, were not biologically mine but the other guy’s. “MY NEIGHBORS KEEP COMPLAINING TO US ABOUT NOISE” From the forums: I live in a two-family home (think two-story row houses) in a big city and I’m having some problems with my upstairs neighbors. My boyfriend and I live in the one-bedroom apartment on the first floor, and a family with two children, 5 SHOULD COUPLES CONSULT EACH OTHER WHEN MAKING TRAVEL PLANS? I posted and replied to this letter in the forums from a 23-year-old woman who was pissed that her boyfriend planned a trip to Israel over NYE without consulting her or considering her. She said a NYE kiss wasn’t important to her boyfriend but it was to her, and she wrote: “He didn’t take my DO ALL GUYS GO TO STRIP CLUBS? Jarek: Ah, the strip club debate — one of many in which men and women will never see eye-to-eye, like picking bathroom tiles or the health benefits of beer. Guys don’t go to strip clubs to fulfill some sort of emotional or sexual gap in their lives. We go because we like seeing naked women and it’s a way to see them without beingintimate.
DEAR WENDY — A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE SITEADVICEABOUTARCHIVESCATEGORIESSUPPORT DWCONTACT A relationship advice site. I don’t know about you, but as the season changes, the school year – this awful, stressful school year – finally starts drawing to a close (31 days to go here in NYC), and life once again begins to return to something resembling normal, I feel my mood lift and my energy shift. HOW FAR WOULD/DID YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE? This column from earlier in the week prompted some thoughts about how far people are going in the first couple of dates. (It also prompted at least one person to leave the site for good, but that’s another story.) The LW didn’t kiss on the first date, and we can assume from her letter and her update, that that’s probably normal for her.. Obviously, she was thrown for a loop when her date “MY BOYFRIEND TREATS HIS DAUGHTER LIKE SHE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND” So, he is either in the me phase or in the daughter phase. In short, he treats his 18-year-old daughter like a girlfriend (minus the sexual side of it, which he doesn’t feel – believe me, I checked all the signs). I confronted him about this, and he went to therapy. But the therapist blah-blah-blah’d about dealing with divorce and didn “AFTER 40 YEARS, I CAN’T STAND MY HUSBAND” “domestic science” used to be a real thing! although i like “domestic art”. and fun fact: “domestic science” is the way that women were first allowed into science. the first female graduate of MIT was admitted under the idea of domestic science. she was allowed to study chemistry because she was a woman studying how toclean better.
MORNING QUICKIE: “MY HUSBAND WANTS TO MOVE, BUT I DON’T” Morning Quickie: “My Husband Wants to Move, But I Don’t”. I have been married twelve years and my husband is the stepfather of my now adult children. I adore my kids. But my husband wants to move up north to a warmer all-year-round climate. He is much older than I am and I am a young person by nature and I love young people. “CAN I SKIP MY NIECE’S WEDDING?” I am torn about whether to attend my 30-year-old old niece’s wedding. I love her very much and I’ve always figured I would attend all of my niece’s and nephew’s weddings. I’ve always loved children and, since we don’t have any, I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with them. Some history: When “MY FRIEND BECAME A LIBERAL AND NOW REFUSES TO TALK TO ME” I’ve been very close friends with both “Molly” and “Sarah” for over fifteen years. Sarah is married to Molly’s brother, so they are both friends and sisters-in-law. We are very close to each other and with each others’ families. About two years ago, Molly movedaway to a
“I HAD SEX WITH HIM AND NOW HE’S GHOSTING ME” I’m not sure either of these scenarios was the case for you, but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed at this point. Here’s what you should do: Be direct in your communication with the guy. Tell him you’ve noticed that he’s been less responsive recently and youwere wondering if
“MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS MAD THAT MY MALE ROOMMATES SEE ME … I’ve lived with my two guy friends for about two and a half years. They’re my best friends in the world, and although we argue and fight sometimes, they’re still my family. We’ve supported each other through everything from broken hearts, to getting fired, to the loss of a parent. When I first moved in SHORTCUTS: “WHY DOES MY EX STILL HAVE PICTURES OF ME ON It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I have an ex-girlfriend DEAR WENDY — A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE SITEADVICEABOUTARCHIVESCATEGORIESSUPPORT DWCONTACT A relationship advice site. I don’t know about you, but as the season changes, the school year – this awful, stressful school year – finally starts drawing to a close (31 days to go here in NYC), and life once again begins to return to something resembling normal, I feel my mood lift and my energy shift. HOW FAR WOULD/DID YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE? This column from earlier in the week prompted some thoughts about how far people are going in the first couple of dates. (It also prompted at least one person to leave the site for good, but that’s another story.) The LW didn’t kiss on the first date, and we can assume from her letter and her update, that that’s probably normal for her.. Obviously, she was thrown for a loop when her date “MY BOYFRIEND TREATS HIS DAUGHTER LIKE SHE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND” So, he is either in the me phase or in the daughter phase. In short, he treats his 18-year-old daughter like a girlfriend (minus the sexual side of it, which he doesn’t feel – believe me, I checked all the signs). I confronted him about this, and he went to therapy. But the therapist blah-blah-blah’d about dealing with divorce and didn “AFTER 40 YEARS, I CAN’T STAND MY HUSBAND” “domestic science” used to be a real thing! although i like “domestic art”. and fun fact: “domestic science” is the way that women were first allowed into science. the first female graduate of MIT was admitted under the idea of domestic science. she was allowed to study chemistry because she was a woman studying how toclean better.
MORNING QUICKIE: “MY HUSBAND WANTS TO MOVE, BUT I DON’T” Morning Quickie: “My Husband Wants to Move, But I Don’t”. I have been married twelve years and my husband is the stepfather of my now adult children. I adore my kids. But my husband wants to move up north to a warmer all-year-round climate. He is much older than I am and I am a young person by nature and I love young people. “CAN I SKIP MY NIECE’S WEDDING?” I am torn about whether to attend my 30-year-old old niece’s wedding. I love her very much and I’ve always figured I would attend all of my niece’s and nephew’s weddings. I’ve always loved children and, since we don’t have any, I’ve tried to spend as much time as possible with them. Some history: When “MY FRIEND BECAME A LIBERAL AND NOW REFUSES TO TALK TO ME” I’ve been very close friends with both “Molly” and “Sarah” for over fifteen years. Sarah is married to Molly’s brother, so they are both friends and sisters-in-law. We are very close to each other and with each others’ families. About two years ago, Molly movedaway to a
“I HAD SEX WITH HIM AND NOW HE’S GHOSTING ME” I’m not sure either of these scenarios was the case for you, but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed at this point. Here’s what you should do: Be direct in your communication with the guy. Tell him you’ve noticed that he’s been less responsive recently and youwere wondering if
“MY NEW BOYFRIEND IS MAD THAT MY MALE ROOMMATES SEE ME … I’ve lived with my two guy friends for about two and a half years. They’re my best friends in the world, and although we argue and fight sometimes, they’re still my family. We’ve supported each other through everything from broken hearts, to getting fired, to the loss of a parent. When I first moved in SHORTCUTS: “WHY DOES MY EX STILL HAVE PICTURES OF ME ON It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. I have an ex-girlfriend ARCHIVES - DEAR WENDY Archives. ‘A’ is for Awesome, A-A-Awesome. “A Co-Worker’s Girlfriend Is Telling People I’m the Office Slut”. “A Friend Groped My Wife At a New Year’s Party”. “A Man at Church Told Me I Should Be a Geisha”. “After 40 Years, I Can’t Stand My Husband”. “After My Miscarriages, My “MY HUSBAND SPENDS ALL HIS TIME WITH HIS FRIENDS INSTEAD My husband and I have been married two years this coming November and it’s been great! We rarely fight about the things most couples fight about (money, sex) and we don’t have children to fight over (yet)but we do fight about his friends. We live two hours from any of my friends or family, and, “MY BIRTH DAUGHTER FOUND ME, BUT I DON’T WANT TO MEET HER” Put it in a letter. Give it to your husband to give to her when they meet. Let her know that you love her and that, to survive the pain of giving her up 23 years ago, you had to bottle emotions, emotions you are afraid of confronting now. The introduction of your birth daughter to your family now after all these years is a big deal, whether you “MY FATHER IS HAVING AN AFFAIR” A few months ago I found out my dad was having an affair with a woman at his work. I’m 19 years old, going to college, living at home, and pursuing my dream career. I grew up in a loving family and was very close to both my parents. They were my best friends and “HE’S SLEEPING WITH ME BUT DATING SOMEONE ELSE” First, I’m sorry about the loss of your husband, and I hope you’ve had a good support system as you grieve and re-build your life. Second, your letter is a good reminder, to those of us who don’t yet have the years of experience and wisdom you’ve surely gained, that many of the feelings we have when single and dating are universal, despite age, circumstances, culture, and lifestyle. “I DON’T LIKE MY BOYFRIEND’S DAUGHTER. SHOULD I BREAK UP Should I leave my wonderful boyfriend, “Peter,” (48) because his teenager daughter is so, so difficult? Peter is my best friend and, frankly, the kindest man I have ever met. He’s a fantastic partner who is loving, attentive, very successful, accomplished, “MY WIFE TOLD ME OUR KIDS AREN’T BIOLOGICALLY MINE” In 2003 she got her dream job and, unbeknownst to me, she also met her dream dude at the new job. It was not until 2012 that she finally told me about the relationship (even though I suspected something) but, as she told me about this person. she added that my two kids, ages 3 and 4 at the time, were not biologically mine but the other guy’s. “MY NEIGHBORS KEEP COMPLAINING TO US ABOUT NOISE” From the forums: I live in a two-family home (think two-story row houses) in a big city and I’m having some problems with my upstairs neighbors. My boyfriend and I live in the one-bedroom apartment on the first floor, and a family with two children, 5 SHOULD COUPLES CONSULT EACH OTHER WHEN MAKING TRAVEL PLANS? I posted and replied to this letter in the forums from a 23-year-old woman who was pissed that her boyfriend planned a trip to Israel over NYE without consulting her or considering her. She said a NYE kiss wasn’t important to her boyfriend but it was to her, and she wrote: “He didn’t take my DO ALL GUYS GO TO STRIP CLUBS? Jarek: Ah, the strip club debate — one of many in which men and women will never see eye-to-eye, like picking bathroom tiles or the health benefits of beer. Guys don’t go to strip clubs to fulfill some sort of emotional or sexual gap in their lives. We go because we like seeing naked women and it’s a way to see them without beingintimate.
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CORONAVIRUS CHECK-IN: HOW ARE YOU FEELING? By: Dear Wendy March 12, 2020Columns
NEW HERE? Welcome! DEAR WENDY is a relationship advice blog. You can read about me here , peruse the archives here and read popular posts here . You can also follow alongon Facebook
and
Instagram . If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com (be sure to read these guidelines first). Thanks for visiting! I’ll admit: I’ve been obsessively reading Coronavirus news for two weeks, trying to weigh how founded my fears were against what some might argue is media hype. Two weeks ago I emailed my parents and aunt, who are in their late 60s and 70s and have some health issues that put them in a high-risk category for the virus (experts agree that the overall mortality rate for those who get infected is probably close to 1%, but in people over 60 it’s closer to 8%, and for those over 80, it’s 15%). I urged them to take some precautions and listen closely to recommendations from the CDC. I told them this was going to get very serious very fast. Then I wondered if maybe I was unnecessarily making them anxious, if maybe this wasn’t going to be the big deal that certainly seemed likely. I read more news articles. I discussed plans with Drew, including whether we should cancel our spring break trip next month and how we might navigate school closure. I posted a Corona-related letter last week and then an updatea few days
later that has garnered a lot of discussion. Yesterday the WHO declared a global pandemic, Trump imposed a travel ban, and here in the US we are _still_ waiting for adequate testing. It’s a lot! So I wanted to check in: How are you all of you doing? What, if anything, has changed in your lives, what are you doing differently, what are you feeling anxious about (if anything), and how are you keeping sane and calm? For our part, I’m continuing to stay informed but know I need to make a better effort to turn off the news and seek some forms of escape. I’m still doing normal things – tonight I’m taking a friend out for a belated birthday dinner, I’m going to pilates class, I’m getting a hair cut. But I’m also making some changes and doing some things I wouldn’t ordinarily do. I mailed my parents and aunt some hand sanitizer yesterday after they said it was sold out everywhere where they live and they couldn’t find any online either. I’ve stopped going to the pilates studio that’s always very crowded with 15-20 students in a tiny room and am only going to the studio that caps at five students (in a bigger space), and I’m doing more workouts at home. And the biggest change: Starting tomorrow we’re going to begin keeping the kids home from school in an effort to help “flatten the curve.” I informed Joanie’s teacher this morning and she said, “But kids are safe. They won’t get sick.” And I told her it wasn’t them I was most worried about. I worry about _her_. I worry about the older grown-ups in the other students’ lives who will be vulnerable to the germs the kids are exposed to at school and, in turn, expose them to. I worry about our hospitals not having the space for everyone who will potentially get sick at the same time if we don’t make some effort to stagger the pace of cases. So, because I have a flexible schedule and can stay home with my kids more easily than a lot of other parents, I am doing what I think is most civically responsible. I imagine schools here will likely close by the end of next week anyway, so we’re just getting a little head start. As I said, I’ve been obsessively following the news, and I have some links to articles I thought were most helpful in understanding what’s going on and the potential impact if you’re interested inreading:
COVID-19: Not Just A Bad Flu The Extraordinary Decisions Facing Italian Doctors Why ‘flattening the curve’ may be the world’s best bet to slowthe coronavirus
Worried about coronavirus? If your loved one is over 60, read this What’s the risk of COVID-19 for a healthy young person? On the plus side, there are signs when crucial steps are taken, the curve flattens: the last two of 16 temporary hospitals in the epicenter city of Wuhan (which has been on lockdown for fifty days)have been shut down
.
I plan to continue posting columns as I normally would and will try to keep this space a place you can come to for a little escape from the news, but I also want to give space for those who want to discuss what’s going on, how you’re feeling, and how you’re coping. Expect more check-in posts like this one in coming weeks (and maybe a forum thread too?). I’m thinking of all of you and the myriad ways our lives are about to change, at least temporarily. Let’s try more than ever to be kind and patient with each other (I’m going to work on this one!) and to do what we can to help lift burdens when we’re able to. Check on your older family members, neighbors, and friends! They’re probably feeling extra anxious. Stay safe, be smart, keepcalm.
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WEEKLY FORUM HIGHLIGHTS By: Dear Wendy March 11, 2020 weekly forum highlights Here’s what we’re discussing this week in the forums: I’M IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND OF 10 YEARS I AM FURIOUS AT MY HUSBAND INTERESTED IN FRIEND’S SISTER SO SAD DIDN’T SEE THIS ONE COMING “HE WON’T LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR ME” BEST FRIEND IS JEALOUS ANYONE GOING ON AWESOME DATES? _Follow along on Facebook and._
_If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com._0 comments
DRINKING WITH DEAR WENDY: BLACK IRISH By: Dear Wendy March 10, 2020 Drinking with Dear Wendy, Videos
This video file cannot be played.(Error Code: 102630) The world is on fire, the plague is upon us, and many of us are about to see our lives get disrupted in lots of big and small ways, but St. Patrick’s Day is next week and people still have their vices, so I made up a new cocktail. It’s called a Black Irish and it’s only three ingredients: Guinness; Jamison; and Mr. Black, which you may recall from my viral (it wasn’t viral) Martini Espresso video . It’s super easy to make, very delicious, and full of caffeine, striking the perfect balance of taking the edge off while also putting a little fuel in your engine. It got me through the dark days of last week when my gal Warren was annihilated in the primaries, and it’ll get me through the dark days ahead when my kids inevitably have school canceled for who knows how long while the coronavirus continues its global spread. These are crazy times; this drink can help a little. Here’s how to make it: 6 ounces of Guinness 3/4 ounce of Jamison 1 ounce of Mr. Black coffee liqueur Add ingredients to a glass, stir, and enjoy! * Cameo by Drew, enjoying an Car Bomb.14 comments
UPDATE: “ASSESSING THE RISK” RESPONDS By: Dear Wendy March 9, 2020Columns
It’s
time again for “Dear Wendy Updates ,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Assessing The Risk” who was unsure whether or not to respect her husband’s wishes that she not take her 6-year-old child on vacation to Florida amid the coronavirus outbreak. Her update below.67 comments
“MY BOYFRIEND OF SEVEN YEARS THINKS HE’S GAY” By: Dear Wendy March 9, 2020Columns
_I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend, “Jason,” for nearly seven years. I am a single mother, and we started dating when my son was one. We live together and I would classify us as a family unit despite our not being married. I own the house we live in so we are not constricted by a lease, but if he were to move out, my bills would double and I would also have no support system in regards to back up with my son if I am at work or want to go out or have any kindof life.
Over the years we have had a wild sexual relationship, and both of us have explored our bisexual sides — we have had threesomes and gone to sex clubs while on vacation. This has always been mutual play, and I have had no issues with the fact that my boyfriend is attracted to men. It pre-dates our being together, and I am the first and only person to know. Over the years, Jason has met men from online and then has come home and told me about the experiences in detail. It’s been kind of like foreplay. Anyway, apparently over the last two years he has had increasing cravings for doing this and has been obsessing over it. He thinks of it daily and tries to resist it. Our own sex life has been limited as he has had very little interest in me sexually. He has also admitted that he has been hiding his watching of gay porn. I’ve no problem with his watching porn, but I have a problem with the hiding. He has been withdrawn and moody for quite a while, and I have felt like he has been hiding something – and it turns out I was right. He is currently on vacation with a friend and he texted me, after drinking all night, basically telling me all of the above and that he thinks he may be gay. This was a six-hour text conversation and we covered a lot. He also admitted that he had been giving me shit to try to hide his own feelings, which really resonates with me as I have been feeling like I have been going crazy with all of his negativity towards me. So, mentally, I haven’t been doing great, and physically I have felt so unattractive because I thought maybe it’s because I’ve gained the smallest bit of weight or that I’m starting to age. (I’m only 30 and reasonably small though.)_
_I have tried to approach this supportively, but I don’t know what to do. I understand that sexual orientation can be fluid and can change. But how do we figure this out? I am open to letting him play physically, but I also need to look after myself and my son – I don’t want to waste any more time on a relationship if it’s not going anywhere. However, I don’t want to throw a relationship away without exploring all options. — EXPLORING_6 comments
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