RECIPES MENU

Briscoe Darling's Hoot Owl Pie. Beaver in Sour Cream. Bar-b-qued Moose. Tuna Twinkie Soufflé. Homemade Maggot Stew. Roast Polar Bear. Duck Webs in Oyster Sauce. Calico Bear & Bearinades. Stuffed Moose

Heart.

BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE HOMESEARCH PAGEPAINTINGS BY LAWREN S. HARRISALPHABETICAL LIST OF ARTISTSOPINIONS AND RANTS Bert Christensen's Cyberspace Home Andrei Yakovlev, Glamour Photo. Places to go and things to do BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE HOME, PAINTINGS BYJEAN GALT Jean Galt was born in Toronto, Canada and educated at Central Technical School and at the University of Toronto. She is now retired from a career as a commercial artist in the publishing industry. ALPHABETICAL LIST OF ARTISTS Courbet, Gustave (Hammock) Courmes, Alfred (La Ferme Flamande) Courmes, Alfred (Portrait of Peggy Guggenheim) Coucill, Walter Jackson (Eaton Centre Construction) Coulter, James M (Dude Rooster) Counis, Salomon Guillaume (Portrait of a Lady with a Flowered Shawl) Courteau, Jean-Louis (22 Paintings) Courtens, Hermann (Title Unknown) 25 SIGNS YOU MAY BE CANADIAN It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars . 7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway. 8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway. 9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. 10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical.

THREE CROW RECIPES

Three Crow Recipes. Clean and cut crows into small portions and let them cook a short time in the lard/shortening in a saucepan, being careful not to brown them. Next, add to the contents of the pan, the stock or gravy, and salt, pepper and cayenne to taste. Simmer 1 hour, or until tender, add mushrooms, simmer 10 minutes more and then stir

in

HIGH CLASS PUT-DOWNS High Class Put-Downs. A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults." -Louis Nizer. "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill. "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." BAKED SEAL FLIPPERS WITH VEGETABLES 2 Seal flippers 1 ts Soda 1 qt Cold water 3 sl Salted pork fat 2 Onions, chopped 2 Carrots, cut up 1 Turnip, cut up 1 Parsnip, cut up 5

Potatoes, cut up

HAMLET'S CAT'S SOLILOQUY To go outside, and there perchance to stay. Or to remain within: that is the question: Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer. The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather. That Nature rains on those who roam abroad, Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet, And so by dozing melt the solid hours. That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time. THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your

supper." 9.

RECIPES MENU

Briscoe Darling's Hoot Owl Pie. Beaver in Sour Cream. Bar-b-qued Moose. Tuna Twinkie Soufflé. Homemade Maggot Stew. Roast Polar Bear. Duck Webs in Oyster Sauce. Calico Bear & Bearinades. Stuffed Moose

Heart.

BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE HOMESEARCH PAGEPAINTINGS BY LAWREN S. HARRISALPHABETICAL LIST OF ARTISTSOPINIONS AND RANTS Bert Christensen's Cyberspace Home Andrei Yakovlev, Glamour Photo. Places to go and things to do BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE HOME, PAINTINGS BYJEAN GALT Jean Galt was born in Toronto, Canada and educated at Central Technical School and at the University of Toronto. She is now retired from a career as a commercial artist in the publishing industry. ALPHABETICAL LIST OF ARTISTS Courbet, Gustave (Hammock) Courmes, Alfred (La Ferme Flamande) Courmes, Alfred (Portrait of Peggy Guggenheim) Coucill, Walter Jackson (Eaton Centre Construction) Coulter, James M (Dude Rooster) Counis, Salomon Guillaume (Portrait of a Lady with a Flowered Shawl) Courteau, Jean-Louis (22 Paintings) Courtens, Hermann (Title Unknown) 25 SIGNS YOU MAY BE CANADIAN It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars . 7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway. 8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway. 9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. 10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical.

THREE CROW RECIPES

Three Crow Recipes. Clean and cut crows into small portions and let them cook a short time in the lard/shortening in a saucepan, being careful not to brown them. Next, add to the contents of the pan, the stock or gravy, and salt, pepper and cayenne to taste. Simmer 1 hour, or until tender, add mushrooms, simmer 10 minutes more and then stir

in

HIGH CLASS PUT-DOWNS High Class Put-Downs. A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults." -Louis Nizer. "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill. "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." BAKED SEAL FLIPPERS WITH VEGETABLES 2 Seal flippers 1 ts Soda 1 qt Cold water 3 sl Salted pork fat 2 Onions, chopped 2 Carrots, cut up 1 Turnip, cut up 1 Parsnip, cut up 5

Potatoes, cut up

HAMLET'S CAT'S SOLILOQUY To go outside, and there perchance to stay. Or to remain within: that is the question: Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer. The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather. That Nature rains on those who roam abroad, Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet, And so by dozing melt the solid hours. That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time. THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your

supper." 9.

ALPHABETICAL LIST OF ARTISTS Courbet, Gustave (Hammock) Courmes, Alfred (La Ferme Flamande) Courmes, Alfred (Portrait of Peggy Guggenheim) Coucill, Walter Jackson (Eaton Centre Construction) Coulter, James M (Dude Rooster) Counis, Salomon Guillaume (Portrait of a Lady with a Flowered Shawl) Courteau, Jean-Louis (22 Paintings) Courtens, Hermann (Title Unknown) WEIRD, STRANGE & JUST PLAIN BAD ART What constitutes good or bad art is, of course, a matter of personal opinion; one person's treasure can be another's garbage. This collection was inspired by Boston's Museum of Bad Art (MOBA) and is presented here in the spirit of fun. If I have offended anyone, I apologize and promise to remove the offending artwork upon notification by the artist, the gallery or the owner. TRUTH & HUMOUR COLLECTION Forty 737s per Month. Walnuts from Australia. Joan Baez & Kris Kristofferson "Hello in There". K.D. Lang and Grover Washington, Jr. play "Black Coffee" as a tribute to Peggy Lee. China Seen Through a Drone. Then and Now. The Unspoken Dialogue Between Men and Women. World's Largest Model Railway. The Band and Neil Young Play

"Helpless".

BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE HOME, PAINTINGS BY TOM THOMSON Thomas John "Tom" Thomson was an influential Canadian artist of the early 20th century. He directly influenced a group of Canadian painters that would come to be known as the Group of Seven, and though he died before they formally formed, he is sometimes incorrectly credited as being a member of the group itself.Thomson died under mysterious circumstances, which added to his mystique. BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE GALLERY #316 PAINTINGS BY Click on the Picture or the Artist's Name for a Larger Version, Click

Here to Take a Tour

I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN UNITARIAN BY CHRISTOPHER I am the very model of a modern Unitarian, Far broader than a Catholic, Hindu, Jew or Presbyterian. I know the world's religions and can trace their roots historical SAYINGS TO LIVE BY... 1.. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 2.. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 3.. Who are these kids and why are they

calling me Mom?

HIGH CLASS PUT-DOWNS High Class Put-Downs. A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults." -Louis Nizer. "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill. "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." COOKING RATS AND MICE Calvin W. Schwabe in his book Unmentionable Cuisine (Charlottesville, Virginia: University of Virginia Press, 1979, available from Amazon Books), says that North Americans should be using many forms of protein which are routinely consumed in other parts of the world.The following exerpts are from a section of the book giving recipes for cooking rats and mice.

PENIS STEW - BERT C

Remove any scum, then simmer for 10 minutes. Drain and slice. Heat the oil in a large skillet. Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden. Add the penis slices and fry on both sides for a few minutes. Stir in the remaining ingredients with a good grinding of pepper, add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil.

RECIPES MENU

Briscoe Darling's Hoot Owl Pie. Beaver in Sour Cream. Bar-b-qued Moose. Tuna Twinkie Soufflé. Homemade Maggot Stew. Roast Polar Bear. Duck Webs in Oyster Sauce. Calico Bear & Bearinades. Stuffed Moose

Heart.

BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE HOMESEARCH PAGEPAINTINGS BY LAWREN S. HARRISALPHABETICAL LIST OF ARTISTSOPINIONS AND RANTS Bert Christensen's Cyberspace Home Andrei Yakovlev, Glamour Photo. Places to go and things to do BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE HOME, PAINTINGS BYJEAN GALT Jean Galt was born in Toronto, Canada and educated at Central Technical School and at the University of Toronto. She is now retired from a career as a commercial artist in the publishing industry. ALPHABETICAL LIST OF ARTISTS Courbet, Gustave (Hammock) Courmes, Alfred (La Ferme Flamande) Courmes, Alfred (Portrait of Peggy Guggenheim) Coucill, Walter Jackson (Eaton Centre Construction) Coulter, James M (Dude Rooster) Counis, Salomon Guillaume (Portrait of a Lady with a Flowered Shawl) Courteau, Jean-Louis (22 Paintings) Courtens, Hermann (Title Unknown) 25 SIGNS YOU MAY BE CANADIAN It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars . 7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway. 8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway. 9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. 10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical.

THREE CROW RECIPES

Three Crow Recipes. Clean and cut crows into small portions and let them cook a short time in the lard/shortening in a saucepan, being careful not to brown them. Next, add to the contents of the pan, the stock or gravy, and salt, pepper and cayenne to taste. Simmer 1 hour, or until tender, add mushrooms, simmer 10 minutes more and then stir

in

HIGH CLASS PUT-DOWNS High Class Put-Downs. A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults." -Louis Nizer. "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill. "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." BAKED SEAL FLIPPERS WITH VEGETABLES 2 Seal flippers 1 ts Soda 1 qt Cold water 3 sl Salted pork fat 2 Onions, chopped 2 Carrots, cut up 1 Turnip, cut up 1 Parsnip, cut up 5

Potatoes, cut up

HAMLET'S CAT'S SOLILOQUY To go outside, and there perchance to stay. Or to remain within: that is the question: Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer. The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather. That Nature rains on those who roam abroad, Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet, And so by dozing melt the solid hours. That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time. THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your

supper." 9.

RECIPES MENU

Briscoe Darling's Hoot Owl Pie. Beaver in Sour Cream. Bar-b-qued Moose. Tuna Twinkie Soufflé. Homemade Maggot Stew. Roast Polar Bear. Duck Webs in Oyster Sauce. Calico Bear & Bearinades. Stuffed Moose

Heart.

BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE HOMESEARCH PAGEPAINTINGS BY LAWREN S. HARRISALPHABETICAL LIST OF ARTISTSOPINIONS AND RANTS Bert Christensen's Cyberspace Home Andrei Yakovlev, Glamour Photo. Places to go and things to do BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE HOME, PAINTINGS BYJEAN GALT Jean Galt was born in Toronto, Canada and educated at Central Technical School and at the University of Toronto. She is now retired from a career as a commercial artist in the publishing industry. ALPHABETICAL LIST OF ARTISTS Courbet, Gustave (Hammock) Courmes, Alfred (La Ferme Flamande) Courmes, Alfred (Portrait of Peggy Guggenheim) Coucill, Walter Jackson (Eaton Centre Construction) Coulter, James M (Dude Rooster) Counis, Salomon Guillaume (Portrait of a Lady with a Flowered Shawl) Courteau, Jean-Louis (22 Paintings) Courtens, Hermann (Title Unknown) 25 SIGNS YOU MAY BE CANADIAN It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars . 7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway. 8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway. 9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. 10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical.

THREE CROW RECIPES

Three Crow Recipes. Clean and cut crows into small portions and let them cook a short time in the lard/shortening in a saucepan, being careful not to brown them. Next, add to the contents of the pan, the stock or gravy, and salt, pepper and cayenne to taste. Simmer 1 hour, or until tender, add mushrooms, simmer 10 minutes more and then stir

in

HIGH CLASS PUT-DOWNS High Class Put-Downs. A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults." -Louis Nizer. "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill. "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." BAKED SEAL FLIPPERS WITH VEGETABLES 2 Seal flippers 1 ts Soda 1 qt Cold water 3 sl Salted pork fat 2 Onions, chopped 2 Carrots, cut up 1 Turnip, cut up 1 Parsnip, cut up 5

Potatoes, cut up

HAMLET'S CAT'S SOLILOQUY To go outside, and there perchance to stay. Or to remain within: that is the question: Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer. The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather. That Nature rains on those who roam abroad, Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet, And so by dozing melt the solid hours. That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time. THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your

supper." 9.

ALPHABETICAL LIST OF ARTISTS Courbet, Gustave (Hammock) Courmes, Alfred (La Ferme Flamande) Courmes, Alfred (Portrait of Peggy Guggenheim) Coucill, Walter Jackson (Eaton Centre Construction) Coulter, James M (Dude Rooster) Counis, Salomon Guillaume (Portrait of a Lady with a Flowered Shawl) Courteau, Jean-Louis (22 Paintings) Courtens, Hermann (Title Unknown) WEIRD, STRANGE & JUST PLAIN BAD ART What constitutes good or bad art is, of course, a matter of personal opinion; one person's treasure can be another's garbage. This collection was inspired by Boston's Museum of Bad Art (MOBA) and is presented here in the spirit of fun. If I have offended anyone, I apologize and promise to remove the offending artwork upon notification by the artist, the gallery or the owner. TRUTH & HUMOUR COLLECTION Forty 737s per Month. Walnuts from Australia. Joan Baez & Kris Kristofferson "Hello in There". K.D. Lang and Grover Washington, Jr. play "Black Coffee" as a tribute to Peggy Lee. China Seen Through a Drone. Then and Now. The Unspoken Dialogue Between Men and Women. World's Largest Model Railway. The Band and Neil Young Play

"Helpless".

BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE HOME, PAINTINGS BY TOM THOMSON Thomas John "Tom" Thomson was an influential Canadian artist of the early 20th century. He directly influenced a group of Canadian painters that would come to be known as the Group of Seven, and though he died before they formally formed, he is sometimes incorrectly credited as being a member of the group itself.Thomson died under mysterious circumstances, which added to his mystique. BERT CHRISTENSEN'S CYBERSPACE GALLERY #316 PAINTINGS BY Click on the Picture or the Artist's Name for a Larger Version, Click

Here to Take a Tour

I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN UNITARIAN BY CHRISTOPHER I am the very model of a modern Unitarian, Far broader than a Catholic, Hindu, Jew or Presbyterian. I know the world's religions and can trace their roots historical SAYINGS TO LIVE BY... 1.. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 2.. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 3.. Who are these kids and why are they

calling me Mom?

HIGH CLASS PUT-DOWNS High Class Put-Downs. A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults." -Louis Nizer. "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -Stephen Bishop. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill. "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." COOKING RATS AND MICE Calvin W. Schwabe in his book Unmentionable Cuisine (Charlottesville, Virginia: University of Virginia Press, 1979, available from Amazon Books), says that North Americans should be using many forms of protein which are routinely consumed in other parts of the world.The following exerpts are from a section of the book giving recipes for cooking rats and mice.

PENIS STEW - BERT C

Remove any scum, then simmer for 10 minutes. Drain and slice. Heat the oil in a large skillet. Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden. Add the penis slices and fry on both sides for a few minutes. Stir in the remaining ingredients with a good grinding of pepper, add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil. Bert Christensen's Cyberspace Home Andrei Yakovlev, Glamour Photo Places to go and things to do Weird & Different Recipes

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