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ALLISON FALLON
Hi, I'm Allison. I write books, I help people write books and I believe a regular practice of writing can change your life. I am the author of 12+ books, sought after public speaker and coach to hundreds of authors from New York Times Bestsellers to total beginners. I canhelp you, too.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE UP AND QUIT EVERYTHING A sweet potato and a nap. Sometimes we need to pull ourselves together and try harder and go faster and longer. Other times we need to soften, to give in a little, to give ourselves permission to take a break. Strong and soft. No, we don’t get everything we want rightright away.
THE TRAP OF A MANIPULATOR AND THE ONLY WAY OUT The Trap of A Manipulator And The Only Way Out. November 8, 2015 / Allison Fallon / 48 Comments. I worked for a boss once who made me feel terrible about myself. He would often make unrealistic requests of me—sometimes long after work hours—and make me feel guilty if I didn’t act like it was “my pleasure” to do it. I worked hard forhim.
THE DANGER OF WANTING TO BE FAMOUS (AND WHAT'S SO MUCH BETTER) Others had “extrinsic” goals, such as achieving reputation or fame. The scholars found that intrinsic goals were associated with happier lives. But the people who pursued extrinsic goals experienced more negative emotions, such as shame and fear. They even suffered more physical maladies. This is one of the cruelest ironies in life. A CULTURE OF “GRACE” IS PERPETUATING ABUSE IN THE When I was 28 years old, I married a Christian pastor. We prayed together, counseled married couples together, planted a church together, and “waited patiently” together to have sex until we were married. We checked all the boxes. So imagine my surprise when, four years into our marriage, I found out he’d been “having an A Culture of “Grace” is Perpetuating Abuse in the 13 LESSONS FROM A LIFE THAT DID NOT GO AS PLANNED Here are 13 things I’ve learned from a life that did not go as planned. 1. Most advice is total BS. I hate to say it, but it’s true. Most of the advice out there, even the really well-meaning stuff, is total crap. A good bit of pop psychology and self help and just about every “guru” and even religion will make it seem likeif you just
THE REAL REASON YOU FEEL POWERLESS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE The Real Reason You Feel Powerless to Change Your Life. August 26, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 8 Comments. Honestly, I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I didn’t have the power to change my circumstances. My romantic relationships would always end in heartbreak and despair, but I figured that was just the “way itwas” with love.
HOW TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD WHEN YOU ARE HEARTBROKEN I got a text from a friend recently that said: “When you are heartbroken, how can you stop the swirling, spinning thoughts that seem to derail you?How can you keep moving forward?” Her question came at an interesting time for me, since I had just spent most of my night spinning and swirling exactly the way she was talking about. THE DANGER OF CHOOSING THE WRONG FRIENDS Take a quick minute, before you start reading this blog post, to think of a few words you would use to describe yourself. Don’t worry, I won’t make you share these words in the comments section or anything, so be as honest as possible. Photo Credit: Creative Commons One combination might be: competent and put-together. The Danger of Choosing The Wrong Friends Read More » A NEW APPROACH TO A LIFELONG BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION A New Approach to A Lifelong Battle With Depression. April 14, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 16 Comments. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. As I’ve grown up, and gotten healthier (emotionally, physically, spiritually), I’ve had fewer and fewer seasons of depression. Even when the seasons come, they tend to last weeksALLISON FALLON
Hi, I'm Allison. I write books, I help people write books and I believe a regular practice of writing can change your life. I am the author of 12+ books, sought after public speaker and coach to hundreds of authors from New York Times Bestsellers to total beginners. I canhelp you, too.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE UP AND QUIT EVERYTHING A sweet potato and a nap. Sometimes we need to pull ourselves together and try harder and go faster and longer. Other times we need to soften, to give in a little, to give ourselves permission to take a break. Strong and soft. No, we don’t get everything we want rightright away.
THE TRAP OF A MANIPULATOR AND THE ONLY WAY OUT The Trap of A Manipulator And The Only Way Out. November 8, 2015 / Allison Fallon / 48 Comments. I worked for a boss once who made me feel terrible about myself. He would often make unrealistic requests of me—sometimes long after work hours—and make me feel guilty if I didn’t act like it was “my pleasure” to do it. I worked hard forhim.
THE DANGER OF WANTING TO BE FAMOUS (AND WHAT'S SO MUCH BETTER) Others had “extrinsic” goals, such as achieving reputation or fame. The scholars found that intrinsic goals were associated with happier lives. But the people who pursued extrinsic goals experienced more negative emotions, such as shame and fear. They even suffered more physical maladies. This is one of the cruelest ironies in life. A CULTURE OF “GRACE” IS PERPETUATING ABUSE IN THE When I was 28 years old, I married a Christian pastor. We prayed together, counseled married couples together, planted a church together, and “waited patiently” together to have sex until we were married. We checked all the boxes. So imagine my surprise when, four years into our marriage, I found out he’d been “having an A Culture of “Grace” is Perpetuating Abuse in the 13 LESSONS FROM A LIFE THAT DID NOT GO AS PLANNED Here are 13 things I’ve learned from a life that did not go as planned. 1. Most advice is total BS. I hate to say it, but it’s true. Most of the advice out there, even the really well-meaning stuff, is total crap. A good bit of pop psychology and self help and just about every “guru” and even religion will make it seem likeif you just
THE REAL REASON YOU FEEL POWERLESS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE The Real Reason You Feel Powerless to Change Your Life. August 26, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 8 Comments. Honestly, I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I didn’t have the power to change my circumstances. My romantic relationships would always end in heartbreak and despair, but I figured that was just the “way itwas” with love.
HOW TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD WHEN YOU ARE HEARTBROKEN I got a text from a friend recently that said: “When you are heartbroken, how can you stop the swirling, spinning thoughts that seem to derail you?How can you keep moving forward?” Her question came at an interesting time for me, since I had just spent most of my night spinning and swirling exactly the way she was talking about. THE DANGER OF CHOOSING THE WRONG FRIENDS Take a quick minute, before you start reading this blog post, to think of a few words you would use to describe yourself. Don’t worry, I won’t make you share these words in the comments section or anything, so be as honest as possible. Photo Credit: Creative Commons One combination might be: competent and put-together. The Danger of Choosing The Wrong Friends Read More » A NEW APPROACH TO A LIFELONG BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION A New Approach to A Lifelong Battle With Depression. April 14, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 16 Comments. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. As I’ve grown up, and gotten healthier (emotionally, physically, spiritually), I’ve had fewer and fewer seasons of depression. Even when the seasons come, they tend to last weeks A CULTURE OF “GRACE” IS PERPETUATING ABUSE IN THE When I was 28 years old, I married a Christian pastor. We prayed together, counseled married couples together, planted a church together, and “waited patiently” together to have sex until we were married. We checked all the boxes. So imagine my surprise when, four years into our marriage, I found out he’d been “having an A Culture of “Grace” is Perpetuating Abuse in the WHAT NO ONE EVER SAYS ABOUT NEW BEGINNINGS This is the beginning. Almost anything can happen. This is where you find. the creation of light, a fish wriggling onto land, the first word of Paradise Lost on an empty page. Think of an egg, the letter A, a woman ironing on a bare stage. as the heavy curtain rises. This isthe very beginning.
HOW TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD WHEN YOU ARE HEARTBROKEN I got a text from a friend recently that said: “When you are heartbroken, how can you stop the swirling, spinning thoughts that seem to derail you?How can you keep moving forward?” Her question came at an interesting time for me, since I had just spent most of my night spinning and swirling exactly the way she was talking about. DEPRESSION, INDECISIVENESS, ANXIETY AND WHAT FINDING A lack of a strong self often flares up during times of change or transition in our lives, since often times we mistake our sense of self for things like: the city we live in, the person we are married to, our job, career, money, family, status, etc. Our true self does not come from our outer-life. WHY IT'S SO HARD TO LOVE YOURSELF AND HOW IT CAN CHANGE A great book that unpacks the mind-body connection is called You Can Heal Your Body by Louise Hay. In the book, she discusses what a powerful impact love (or a lack of love) can have our our physical health. She attributes a lack of self-love to ailments all GETTING OVER THE FEAR OF NOT ENOUGH A scarcity mindset, by my definition, is simply: A persistent feeling of not-enoughness —feelings of inadequacy, fear of going without, a lack of self-confidence —most often stemming from negative thought patterns around time, money and energy. So having a scarcity mindset has little to do with what you have in your bank account or how much DOES CHEMISTRY MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP? Someone asked me recently if chemistry matters in a relationship and my answer is, yes. Chemistry matters. Chemistry makes a huge difference in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong. you can have a relationship without chemistry. Probably even a good one. I’ve never tried it, but thousands of years of arranged marriages, across dozens of Does Chemistry Matter In A Relationship? Read More » WHY YOU ALWAYS GET TAKEN FOR GRANTED (AND HOW TO QUIT) The truth is, if you’re a genuinely nice person, you’re bound to get taken for granted in this world. I wish this weren’t the case, but sadly, if you’re kind, caring, sensitive, and empathetic, you’re naturally a magnet for narcissists, manipulators, addicts, and people who are willing to take more from you than they have togive in return.
WHY WOMEN APOLOGIZE MORE THAN MEN (AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT) Research shows women apologize more than men because our threshold for what we think is offensive is generally lower. Researchers analyzed the number of self-reported offenses and apologies made by 66 subjects over a 12-day period. And yes, they confirmed women consistently apologized more times than men did. 7 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE FEELING STUCK One of the most upsetting feelings in life, if you ask me, is the feeling of being stuck. Whether it’s stuck in a bad relationship, stuck in a creative project, stuck in a job you hate (or that just doesn’t satisfy you anymore), stuck in the house or a city you’re ready to leave, stuck in a life you feel you didn’t choose for yourself, or just stuck not knowing what to do next, thatALLISON FALLON
Hi, I'm Allison. I write books, I help people write books and I believe a regular practice of writing can change your life. I am the author of 12+ books, sought after public speaker and coach to hundreds of authors from New York Times Bestsellers to total beginners. I canhelp you, too.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE UP AND QUIT EVERYTHING A sweet potato and a nap. Sometimes we need to pull ourselves together and try harder and go faster and longer. Other times we need to soften, to give in a little, to give ourselves permission to take a break. Strong and soft. No, we don’t get everything we want rightright away.
THE DANGER OF WANTING TO BE FAMOUS (AND WHAT'S SO MUCH BETTER) Others had “extrinsic” goals, such as achieving reputation or fame. The scholars found that intrinsic goals were associated with happier lives. But the people who pursued extrinsic goals experienced more negative emotions, such as shame and fear. They even suffered more physical maladies. This is one of the cruelest ironies in life. THE TRAP OF A MANIPULATOR AND THE ONLY WAY OUT The Trap of A Manipulator And The Only Way Out. November 8, 2015 / Allison Fallon / 48 Comments. I worked for a boss once who made me feel terrible about myself. He would often make unrealistic requests of me—sometimes long after work hours—and make me feel guilty if I didn’t act like it was “my pleasure” to do it. I worked hard forhim.
A CULTURE OF “GRACE” IS PERPETUATING ABUSE IN THE When I was 28 years old, I married a Christian pastor. We prayed together, counseled married couples together, planted a church together, and “waited patiently” together to have sex until we were married. We checked all the boxes. So imagine my surprise when, four years into our marriage, I found out he’d been “having an A Culture of “Grace” is Perpetuating Abuse in the 13 LESSONS FROM A LIFE THAT DID NOT GO AS PLANNED Here are 13 things I’ve learned from a life that did not go as planned. 1. Most advice is total BS. I hate to say it, but it’s true. Most of the advice out there, even the really well-meaning stuff, is total crap. A good bit of pop psychology and self help and just about every “guru” and even religion will make it seem likeif you just
THE REAL REASON YOU FEEL POWERLESS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE The Real Reason You Feel Powerless to Change Your Life. August 26, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 8 Comments. Honestly, I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I didn’t have the power to change my circumstances. My romantic relationships would always end in heartbreak and despair, but I figured that was just the “way itwas” with love.
HOW TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD WHEN YOU ARE HEARTBROKEN I got a text from a friend recently that said: “When you are heartbroken, how can you stop the swirling, spinning thoughts that seem to derail you?How can you keep moving forward?” Her question came at an interesting time for me, since I had just spent most of my night spinning and swirling exactly the way she was talking about. THE DANGER OF CHOOSING THE WRONG FRIENDS Take a quick minute, before you start reading this blog post, to think of a few words you would use to describe yourself. Don’t worry, I won’t make you share these words in the comments section or anything, so be as honest as possible. Photo Credit: Creative Commons One combination might be: competent and put-together. The Danger of Choosing The Wrong Friends Read More » A NEW APPROACH TO A LIFELONG BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION A New Approach to A Lifelong Battle With Depression. April 14, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 16 Comments. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. As I’ve grown up, and gotten healthier (emotionally, physically, spiritually), I’ve had fewer and fewer seasons of depression. Even when the seasons come, they tend to last weeksALLISON FALLON
Hi, I'm Allison. I write books, I help people write books and I believe a regular practice of writing can change your life. I am the author of 12+ books, sought after public speaker and coach to hundreds of authors from New York Times Bestsellers to total beginners. I canhelp you, too.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE UP AND QUIT EVERYTHING A sweet potato and a nap. Sometimes we need to pull ourselves together and try harder and go faster and longer. Other times we need to soften, to give in a little, to give ourselves permission to take a break. Strong and soft. No, we don’t get everything we want rightright away.
THE DANGER OF WANTING TO BE FAMOUS (AND WHAT'S SO MUCH BETTER) Others had “extrinsic” goals, such as achieving reputation or fame. The scholars found that intrinsic goals were associated with happier lives. But the people who pursued extrinsic goals experienced more negative emotions, such as shame and fear. They even suffered more physical maladies. This is one of the cruelest ironies in life. THE TRAP OF A MANIPULATOR AND THE ONLY WAY OUT The Trap of A Manipulator And The Only Way Out. November 8, 2015 / Allison Fallon / 48 Comments. I worked for a boss once who made me feel terrible about myself. He would often make unrealistic requests of me—sometimes long after work hours—and make me feel guilty if I didn’t act like it was “my pleasure” to do it. I worked hard forhim.
A CULTURE OF “GRACE” IS PERPETUATING ABUSE IN THE When I was 28 years old, I married a Christian pastor. We prayed together, counseled married couples together, planted a church together, and “waited patiently” together to have sex until we were married. We checked all the boxes. So imagine my surprise when, four years into our marriage, I found out he’d been “having an A Culture of “Grace” is Perpetuating Abuse in the 13 LESSONS FROM A LIFE THAT DID NOT GO AS PLANNED Here are 13 things I’ve learned from a life that did not go as planned. 1. Most advice is total BS. I hate to say it, but it’s true. Most of the advice out there, even the really well-meaning stuff, is total crap. A good bit of pop psychology and self help and just about every “guru” and even religion will make it seem likeif you just
THE REAL REASON YOU FEEL POWERLESS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE The Real Reason You Feel Powerless to Change Your Life. August 26, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 8 Comments. Honestly, I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I didn’t have the power to change my circumstances. My romantic relationships would always end in heartbreak and despair, but I figured that was just the “way itwas” with love.
HOW TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD WHEN YOU ARE HEARTBROKEN I got a text from a friend recently that said: “When you are heartbroken, how can you stop the swirling, spinning thoughts that seem to derail you?How can you keep moving forward?” Her question came at an interesting time for me, since I had just spent most of my night spinning and swirling exactly the way she was talking about. THE DANGER OF CHOOSING THE WRONG FRIENDS Take a quick minute, before you start reading this blog post, to think of a few words you would use to describe yourself. Don’t worry, I won’t make you share these words in the comments section or anything, so be as honest as possible. Photo Credit: Creative Commons One combination might be: competent and put-together. The Danger of Choosing The Wrong Friends Read More » A NEW APPROACH TO A LIFELONG BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION A New Approach to A Lifelong Battle With Depression. April 14, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 16 Comments. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. As I’ve grown up, and gotten healthier (emotionally, physically, spiritually), I’ve had fewer and fewer seasons of depression. Even when the seasons come, they tend to last weeks WHAT NO ONE EVER SAYS ABOUT NEW BEGINNINGS This is the beginning. Almost anything can happen. This is where you find. the creation of light, a fish wriggling onto land, the first word of Paradise Lost on an empty page. Think of an egg, the letter A, a woman ironing on a bare stage. as the heavy curtain rises. This isthe very beginning.
WHY IT'S SO HARD TO LOVE YOURSELF AND HOW IT CAN CHANGE A great book that unpacks the mind-body connection is called You Can Heal Your Body by Louise Hay. In the book, she discusses what a powerful impact love (or a lack of love) can have our our physical health. She attributes a lack of self-love to ailments all THE BENEFIT OF USING YOUR VOICE, NO MATTER WHAT IT COSTS The Benefit of Using Your Voice, No Matter What It Costs. When I started writing my latest manuscript, I promised myself I was going to tell the truth. I was going to use my voice, speak up for myself, talk about the things I had kept secret for so long, and finally finally be free to say what was on my mind. I was done hiding. GETTING OVER THE FEAR OF NOT ENOUGH A scarcity mindset, by my definition, is simply: A persistent feeling of not-enoughness —feelings of inadequacy, fear of going without, a lack of self-confidence —most often stemming from negative thought patterns around time, money and energy. So having a scarcity mindset has little to do with what you have in your bank account or how much WOMEN, CONFIDENCE AND THE PROBLEM NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT Ever since I read an article in The Atlantic about The Confidence Gap between men and women, I haven’t been able to get it off my mind. Mostly, I think, because the article put words and research to something I’ve noticed take shape in my own life over the years: women (myself included) lacking the Women, Confidence And The Problem No One Is Talking About Read More » HOW TO AVOID BECOMING THE PERSON YOU HATE The basic idea is simply that we move in the direction we’re pointed. So in other words, the more I focus on a person I hate, the more I meditate on their behavior, the more I consider how I can avoid becoming like them, the more I become like them. The more I resist becoming like something I dislike, the more I accidentally move towardthose
WHY YOU ALWAYS GET TAKEN FOR GRANTED (AND HOW TO QUIT) The truth is, if you’re a genuinely nice person, you’re bound to get taken for granted in this world. I wish this weren’t the case, but sadly, if you’re kind, caring, sensitive, and empathetic, you’re naturally a magnet for narcissists, manipulators, addicts, and people who are willing to take more from you than they have togive in return.
DOES CHEMISTRY MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP? Someone asked me recently if chemistry matters in a relationship and my answer is, yes. Chemistry matters. Chemistry makes a huge difference in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong. you can have a relationship without chemistry. Probably even a good one. I’ve never tried it, but thousands of years of arranged marriages, across dozens of Does Chemistry Matter In A Relationship? Read More » 7 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE FEELING STUCK One of the most upsetting feelings in life, if you ask me, is the feeling of being stuck. Whether it’s stuck in a bad relationship, stuck in a creative project, stuck in a job you hate (or that just doesn’t satisfy you anymore), stuck in the house or a city you’re ready to leave, stuck in a life you feel you didn’t choose for yourself, or just stuck not knowing what to do next, that WHY WOMEN APOLOGIZE MORE THAN MEN (AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT) Research shows women apologize more than men because our threshold for what we think is offensive is generally lower. Researchers analyzed the number of self-reported offenses and apologies made by 66 subjects over a 12-day period. And yes, they confirmed women consistently apologized more times than men did.ALLISON FALLON
Hi, I'm Allison. I write books, I help people write books and I believe a regular practice of writing can change your life. I am the author of 12+ books, sought after public speaker and coach to hundreds of authors from New York Times Bestsellers to total beginners. I canhelp you, too.
A NEW APPROACH TO A LIFELONG BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. As I’ve grown up, and gotten healthier (emotionally, physically, spiritually), I’ve had fewer and fewer seasons of depression. Even when the seasons come, they tend to last weeks, rather than months or years. But recently I dipped into one of my familiar seasons once again and A New Approach to A Lifelong Battle With Depression THE TRAP OF A MANIPULATOR AND THE ONLY WAY OUT Over the past week I have clicked on links leading to links leading to websites and round and round the WORLDWIDE WEB I went What a whirl wind trip so far of theories confirmed, self-discovery (I am an incredibly smart and perceptive woman, and I’m not going crazy or becoming insecure, possessive, tragic or needy! THE DANGER OF WANTING TO BE FAMOUS (AND WHAT'S SO MUCH BETTER) I started writing books when I was in the fourth grade. My first book—a picture book—was titled Austin, Texas (clever, I know) about the place where I was born. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE UP AND QUIT EVERYTHING Every now and then this feeling comes around—like everything I’m doing is for nothing and I might as well give up. This time it showed up on Tuesday morning, around 5:40am. THE REAL REASON YOU FEEL POWERLESS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE Honestly, I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I didn’t have the power to change my circumstances. My romantic relationships would always end in heartbreak and despair, but I figured that was just the “way it was” with love. Best case scenario, I figured, it was that way for everyone. Worst case scenario, it The Real Reason You Feel Powerless to Change Your Life Read More » 13 LESSONS FROM A LIFE THAT DID NOT GO AS PLANNED I don’t know about you, but my life has not gone the way I thought it would go. If it had, I’m not sure exactly where I’d be, but it would not be here—in Nashville, TN—at the coffee shop where I spend most of my mornings typing away on my computer and running asmall business.
HOW TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD WHEN YOU ARE HEARTBROKEN I got a text from a friend recently that said: “When you are heartbroken, how can you stop the swirling, spinning thoughts that seem to derail you?How can you keep moving forward?” Her question came at an interesting time for me, since I had just spent most of my night spinning and swirling exactly the way she was talking about. THE DANGER OF CHOOSING THE WRONG FRIENDS Take a quick minute, before you start reading this blog post, to think of a few words you would use to describe yourself. Don’t worry, I won’t make you share these words in the comments section or anything, so be as honest as possible. Photo Credit: Creative Commons One combination might be: competent and put-together. The Danger of Choosing The Wrong Friends Read More » 7 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE FEELING STUCK One of the most upsetting feelings in life, if you ask me, is the feeling of being stuck. Whether it’s stuck in a bad relationship, stuck in a creative project, stuck in a job you hate (or that just doesn’t satisfy you anymore), stuck in the house or a city you’re ready to leave, stuck in a life you feel you didn’t choose for yourself, or just stuck not knowing what to do next, thatALLISON FALLON
Hi, I'm Allison. I write books, I help people write books and I believe a regular practice of writing can change your life. I am the author of 12+ books, sought after public speaker and coach to hundreds of authors from New York Times Bestsellers to total beginners. I canhelp you, too.
A NEW APPROACH TO A LIFELONG BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. As I’ve grown up, and gotten healthier (emotionally, physically, spiritually), I’ve had fewer and fewer seasons of depression. Even when the seasons come, they tend to last weeks, rather than months or years. But recently I dipped into one of my familiar seasons once again and A New Approach to A Lifelong Battle With Depression THE TRAP OF A MANIPULATOR AND THE ONLY WAY OUT Over the past week I have clicked on links leading to links leading to websites and round and round the WORLDWIDE WEB I went What a whirl wind trip so far of theories confirmed, self-discovery (I am an incredibly smart and perceptive woman, and I’m not going crazy or becoming insecure, possessive, tragic or needy! THE DANGER OF WANTING TO BE FAMOUS (AND WHAT'S SO MUCH BETTER) I started writing books when I was in the fourth grade. My first book—a picture book—was titled Austin, Texas (clever, I know) about the place where I was born. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE UP AND QUIT EVERYTHING Every now and then this feeling comes around—like everything I’m doing is for nothing and I might as well give up. This time it showed up on Tuesday morning, around 5:40am. THE REAL REASON YOU FEEL POWERLESS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE Honestly, I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I didn’t have the power to change my circumstances. My romantic relationships would always end in heartbreak and despair, but I figured that was just the “way it was” with love. Best case scenario, I figured, it was that way for everyone. Worst case scenario, it The Real Reason You Feel Powerless to Change Your Life Read More » 13 LESSONS FROM A LIFE THAT DID NOT GO AS PLANNED I don’t know about you, but my life has not gone the way I thought it would go. If it had, I’m not sure exactly where I’d be, but it would not be here—in Nashville, TN—at the coffee shop where I spend most of my mornings typing away on my computer and running asmall business.
HOW TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD WHEN YOU ARE HEARTBROKEN I got a text from a friend recently that said: “When you are heartbroken, how can you stop the swirling, spinning thoughts that seem to derail you?How can you keep moving forward?” Her question came at an interesting time for me, since I had just spent most of my night spinning and swirling exactly the way she was talking about. THE DANGER OF CHOOSING THE WRONG FRIENDS Take a quick minute, before you start reading this blog post, to think of a few words you would use to describe yourself. Don’t worry, I won’t make you share these words in the comments section or anything, so be as honest as possible. Photo Credit: Creative Commons One combination might be: competent and put-together. The Danger of Choosing The Wrong Friends Read More » 7 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE FEELING STUCK One of the most upsetting feelings in life, if you ask me, is the feeling of being stuck. Whether it’s stuck in a bad relationship, stuck in a creative project, stuck in a job you hate (or that just doesn’t satisfy you anymore), stuck in the house or a city you’re ready to leave, stuck in a life you feel you didn’t choose for yourself, or just stuck not knowing what to do next, that THE DANGER OF WANTING TO BE FAMOUS (AND WHAT'S SO MUCH BETTER) I started writing books when I was in the fourth grade. My first book—a picture book—was titled Austin, Texas (clever, I know) about the place where I was born. WHAT NO ONE EVER SAYS ABOUT NEW BEGINNINGS Allison, Thank you for such an honest assessment of what change can really look like. Two years ago I found myself in a similar state. I won’t get into specifics, but from what you allude to, I A CULTURE OF “GRACE” IS PERPETUATING ABUSE IN THE When I was 28 years old, I married a Christian pastor. We prayed together, counseled married couples together, planted a church together, and “waited patiently” together to have sex until we were married. We checked all the boxes. So imagine my surprise when, four years into our marriage, I found out he’d been “having an A Culture of “Grace” is Perpetuating Abuse in the DEPRESSION, INDECISIVENESS, ANXIETY AND WHAT FINDING Thanks Ann! I hadn’t heard that depression and inflammation were connected, but it makes a ton of sense with my personal experience. I suffered from IBS issues for years (inflammation, Auto-immune, etc) and when my body was the most paralyzed, so was my spirit and mind. 7 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE FEELING STUCK One of the most upsetting feelings in life, if you ask me, is the feeling of being stuck. Whether it’s stuck in a bad relationship, stuck in a creative project, stuck in a job you hate (or that just doesn’t satisfy you anymore), stuck in the house or a city you’re ready to leave, stuck in a life you feel you didn’t choose for yourself, or just stuck not knowing what to do next, that WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT TRYING TO HAVE A BABY Thank you so much for writing this. It’s so nice when people are real. I just had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago, and I want to hurry up and try again so I don’t have to wait. DOES CHEMISTRY MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP? Someone asked me recently if chemistry matters in a relationship and my answer is, yes. Chemistry matters. Chemistry makes a huge difference in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong. you can have a relationship without chemistry. Probably even a good one. I’ve never tried it, but thousands of years of arranged marriages, across dozens of Does Chemistry Matter In A Relationship? Read More » WHY SMART, CREATIVE PEOPLE UNDERESTIMATE THEMSELVES AND Have you ever noticed how really smart, really creative people often totally underestimate themselves? I see this in my work pretty much every day. I meet people who are brilliant thinkers, good writers, creative, passionate people who say things like: “There are plenty of good musicians out there the world doesn’t need me.” “I would Why Smart, Creative People Underestimate WHY YOU ALWAYS GET TAKEN FOR GRANTED (AND HOW TO QUIT) The truth is, if you’re a genuinely nice person, you’re bound to get taken for granted in this world. I wish this weren’t the case, but sadly, if you’re kind, caring, sensitive, and empathetic, you’re naturally a magnet for narcissists, manipulators, addicts, and people who are willing to take more from you than they have togive in return.
WHY WOMEN APOLOGIZE MORE THAN MEN (AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT) This is very good and well-laid out. Some years ago, I made this same discovery in my own language (after an abusive relationship), and re-taught myself the appropriate way to address my thoughts withoutapology.
ALLISON FALLON
Hi, I'm Allison. I write books, I help people write books and I believe a regular practice of writing can change your life. I am the author of 12+ books, sought after public speaker and coach to hundreds of authors from New York Times Bestsellers to total beginners. I canhelp you, too.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE UP AND QUIT EVERYTHING A sweet potato and a nap. Sometimes we need to pull ourselves together and try harder and go faster and longer. Other times we need to soften, to give in a little, to give ourselves permission to take a break. Strong and soft. No, we don’t get everything we want rightright away.
THE TRAP OF A MANIPULATOR AND THE ONLY WAY OUTHOW TO SPOT AMANIPULATOR
The Trap of A Manipulator And The Only Way Out. November 8, 2015 / Allison Fallon / 48 Comments. I worked for a boss once who made me feel terrible about myself. He would often make unrealistic requests of me—sometimes long after work hours—and make me feel guilty if I didn’t act like it was “my pleasure” to do it. I worked hard forhim.
A CULTURE OF “GRACE” IS PERPETUATING ABUSE IN THE When I was 28 years old, I married a Christian pastor. We prayed together, counseled married couples together, planted a church together, and “waited patiently” together to have sex until we were married. We checked all the boxes. So imagine my surprise when, four years into our marriage, I found out he’d been “having an A Culture of “Grace” is Perpetuating Abuse in the 13 LESSONS FROM A LIFE THAT DID NOT GO AS PLANNED Here are 13 things I’ve learned from a life that did not go as planned. 1. Most advice is total BS. I hate to say it, but it’s true. Most of the advice out there, even the really well-meaning stuff, is total crap. A good bit of pop psychology and self help and just about every “guru” and even religion will make it seem likeif you just
HOW TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD WHEN YOU ARE HEARTBROKEN I got a text from a friend recently that said: “When you are heartbroken, how can you stop the swirling, spinning thoughts that seem to derail you?How can you keep moving forward?” Her question came at an interesting time for me, since I had just spent most of my night spinning and swirling exactly the way she was talking about. THE REAL REASON YOU FEEL POWERLESS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFEARE PEOPLE POWERLESS TO CHANGEARE PEOPLE POWERLESS TO CHANGEWHEN YOU FEEL POWERLESSHOW TO EMPOWER YOURSELFHOW TO FEEL EMPOWERED The Real Reason You Feel Powerless to Change Your Life. August 26, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 8 Comments. Honestly, I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I didn’t have the power to change my circumstances. My romantic relationships would always end in heartbreak and despair, but I figured that was just the “way itwas” with love.
A NEW APPROACH TO A LIFELONG BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION A New Approach to A Lifelong Battle With Depression. April 14, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 16 Comments. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. As I’ve grown up, and gotten healthier (emotionally, physically, spiritually), I’ve had fewer and fewer seasons of depression. Even when the seasons come, they tend to last weeks THE DANGER OF CHOOSING THE WRONG FRIENDS Take a quick minute, before you start reading this blog post, to think of a few words you would use to describe yourself. Don’t worry, I won’t make you share these words in the comments section or anything, so be as honest as possible. Photo Credit: Creative Commons One combination might be: competent and put-together. The Danger of Choosing The Wrong Friends Read More » WHY YOU ALWAYS GET TAKEN FOR GRANTED (AND HOW TO QUIT) The truth is, if you’re a genuinely nice person, you’re bound to get taken for granted in this world. I wish this weren’t the case, but sadly, if you’re kind, caring, sensitive, and empathetic, you’re naturally a magnet for narcissists, manipulators, addicts, and people who are willing to take more from you than they have togive in return.
ALLISON FALLON
Hi, I'm Allison. I write books, I help people write books and I believe a regular practice of writing can change your life. I am the author of 12+ books, sought after public speaker and coach to hundreds of authors from New York Times Bestsellers to total beginners. I canhelp you, too.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE UP AND QUIT EVERYTHING A sweet potato and a nap. Sometimes we need to pull ourselves together and try harder and go faster and longer. Other times we need to soften, to give in a little, to give ourselves permission to take a break. Strong and soft. No, we don’t get everything we want rightright away.
THE TRAP OF A MANIPULATOR AND THE ONLY WAY OUTHOW TO SPOT AMANIPULATOR
The Trap of A Manipulator And The Only Way Out. November 8, 2015 / Allison Fallon / 48 Comments. I worked for a boss once who made me feel terrible about myself. He would often make unrealistic requests of me—sometimes long after work hours—and make me feel guilty if I didn’t act like it was “my pleasure” to do it. I worked hard forhim.
A CULTURE OF “GRACE” IS PERPETUATING ABUSE IN THE When I was 28 years old, I married a Christian pastor. We prayed together, counseled married couples together, planted a church together, and “waited patiently” together to have sex until we were married. We checked all the boxes. So imagine my surprise when, four years into our marriage, I found out he’d been “having an A Culture of “Grace” is Perpetuating Abuse in the 13 LESSONS FROM A LIFE THAT DID NOT GO AS PLANNED Here are 13 things I’ve learned from a life that did not go as planned. 1. Most advice is total BS. I hate to say it, but it’s true. Most of the advice out there, even the really well-meaning stuff, is total crap. A good bit of pop psychology and self help and just about every “guru” and even religion will make it seem likeif you just
HOW TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD WHEN YOU ARE HEARTBROKEN I got a text from a friend recently that said: “When you are heartbroken, how can you stop the swirling, spinning thoughts that seem to derail you?How can you keep moving forward?” Her question came at an interesting time for me, since I had just spent most of my night spinning and swirling exactly the way she was talking about. THE REAL REASON YOU FEEL POWERLESS TO CHANGE YOUR LIFEARE PEOPLE POWERLESS TO CHANGEARE PEOPLE POWERLESS TO CHANGEWHEN YOU FEEL POWERLESSHOW TO EMPOWER YOURSELFHOW TO FEEL EMPOWERED The Real Reason You Feel Powerless to Change Your Life. August 26, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 8 Comments. Honestly, I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I didn’t have the power to change my circumstances. My romantic relationships would always end in heartbreak and despair, but I figured that was just the “way itwas” with love.
A NEW APPROACH TO A LIFELONG BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION A New Approach to A Lifelong Battle With Depression. April 14, 2014 / Allison Fallon / 16 Comments. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life. As I’ve grown up, and gotten healthier (emotionally, physically, spiritually), I’ve had fewer and fewer seasons of depression. Even when the seasons come, they tend to last weeks THE DANGER OF CHOOSING THE WRONG FRIENDS Take a quick minute, before you start reading this blog post, to think of a few words you would use to describe yourself. Don’t worry, I won’t make you share these words in the comments section or anything, so be as honest as possible. Photo Credit: Creative Commons One combination might be: competent and put-together. The Danger of Choosing The Wrong Friends Read More » WHY YOU ALWAYS GET TAKEN FOR GRANTED (AND HOW TO QUIT) The truth is, if you’re a genuinely nice person, you’re bound to get taken for granted in this world. I wish this weren’t the case, but sadly, if you’re kind, caring, sensitive, and empathetic, you’re naturally a magnet for narcissists, manipulators, addicts, and people who are willing to take more from you than they have togive in return.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE UP AND QUIT EVERYTHING A sweet potato and a nap. Sometimes we need to pull ourselves together and try harder and go faster and longer. Other times we need to soften, to give in a little, to give ourselves permission to take a break. Strong and soft. No, we don’t get everything we want rightright away.
WHAT NO ONE EVER SAYS ABOUT NEW BEGINNINGS This is the beginning. Almost anything can happen. This is where you find. the creation of light, a fish wriggling onto land, the first word of Paradise Lost on an empty page. Think of an egg, the letter A, a woman ironing on a bare stage. as the heavy curtain rises. This isthe very beginning.
THE DANGER OF WANTING TO BE FAMOUS (AND WHAT'S SO MUCH BETTER) Others had “extrinsic” goals, such as achieving reputation or fame. The scholars found that intrinsic goals were associated with happier lives. But the people who pursued extrinsic goals experienced more negative emotions, such as shame and fear. They even suffered more physical maladies. This is one of the cruelest ironies in life. A CULTURE OF “GRACE” IS PERPETUATING ABUSE IN THE When I was 28 years old, I married a Christian pastor. We prayed together, counseled married couples together, planted a church together, and “waited patiently” together to have sex until we were married. We checked all the boxes. So imagine my surprise when, four years into our marriage, I found out he’d been “having an A Culture of “Grace” is Perpetuating Abuse in the THE BENEFIT OF USING YOUR VOICE, NO MATTER WHAT IT COSTS The Benefit of Using Your Voice, No Matter What It Costs. When I started writing my latest manuscript, I promised myself I was going to tell the truth. I was going to use my voice, speak up for myself, talk about the things I had kept secret for so long, and finally finally be free to say what was on my mind. I was done hiding. DEPRESSION, INDECISIVENESS, ANXIETY AND WHAT FINDING A lack of a strong self often flares up during times of change or transition in our lives, since often times we mistake our sense of self for things like: the city we live in, the person we are married to, our job, career, money, family, status, etc. Our true self does not come from our outer-life. WOMEN, CONFIDENCE AND THE PROBLEM NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT Ever since I read an article in The Atlantic about The Confidence Gap between men and women, I haven’t been able to get it off my mind. Mostly, I think, because the article put words and research to something I’ve noticed take shape in my own life over the years: women (myself included) lacking the Women, Confidence And The Problem No One Is Talking About Read More » HOW TO AVOID BECOMING THE PERSON YOU HATE The basic idea is simply that we move in the direction we’re pointed. So in other words, the more I focus on a person I hate, the more I meditate on their behavior, the more I consider how I can avoid becoming like them, the more I become like them. The more I resist becoming like something I dislike, the more I accidentally move towardthose
DOES CHEMISTRY MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP? Someone asked me recently if chemistry matters in a relationship and my answer is, yes. Chemistry matters. Chemistry makes a huge difference in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong. you can have a relationship without chemistry. Probably even a good one. I’ve never tried it, but thousands of years of arranged marriages, across dozens of Does Chemistry Matter In A Relationship? Read More » 7 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE FEELING STUCK One of the most upsetting feelings in life, if you ask me, is the feeling of being stuck. Whether it’s stuck in a bad relationship, stuck in a creative project, stuck in a job you hate (or that just doesn’t satisfy you anymore), stuck in the house or a city you’re ready to leave, stuck in a life you feel you didn’t choose for yourself, or just stuck not knowing what to do next, thatSkip to content
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HI, I’M ALLISON
_...A BESTSELLING AUTHOR AND FOUNDER OF FIND YOUR VOICE—A COMMUNITY THAT OFFERS WORKSHOPS, COACHING, EDITING AND SUPPORT FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO WRITE A BOOK (YES, EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT A “REAL” WRITER). I’VE WRITTEN AND PUBLISHED 13 BOOKS AND COUNTING, COACHED HUNDREDS OF WRITERS FROM TOTAL BEGINNERS TO NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHORS, HOSTED WORKSHOPS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY AND WORLD, AND HELPED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USE WRITING AS A TOOL FOR THEIR OWN PERSONALGROWTH._
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HI, I’M ALLISON
_...A BESTSELLING AUTHOR AND FOUNDER OF FIND YOUR VOICE—A COMMUNITY THAT OFFERS WORKSHOPS, COACHING, EDITING AND SUPPORT FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO WRITE A BOOK (YES, EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT A “REAL” WRITER). I’VE WRITTEN AND PUBLISHED 13 BOOKS AND COUNTING, COACHED HUNDREDS OF WRITERS FROM TOTAL BEGINNERS TO NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHORS, HOSTED WORKSHOPS ALL OVER THE COUNTRY AND WORLD, AND HELPED HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USE WRITING AS A TOOL FOR THEIR OWN PERSONALGROWTH._
WORK WITH ME
When I first started writing, I didn't feel like a writer. I had never made any money from my writing, never shared anything I wrote with anyone other than my mom (thanks mom) and wondered if the words I was scribbling down in my free time would ever matter for anything. It wasn't until I started working with some of the best writers out there—the kinds of writers I admired for their words and their talent—that I realized the insecurities I had about my writing werenormal.
This gave me the courage to start taking myself seriously as a writer and to put my work into the world. No matter how much or how little experience you have as a writer, we all get stuck. We all question whether we have what it takes. We all wonder if this whole thing is going to be a waste of time. I think it's wrong that writers with incredible stories and ideas (like you) give up before they're finished, simply because they don't have the support and encouragement they need to cross the finish line. That's why I've made it my life's mission to you in your writing journey — whatever that looks like. If you have a book you know you need to write, or if you aren’t a “real” writer but want to give writing a try, join the movement over at Find Your Voice. “ANYONE WHO WANTS TO WRITE A BOOK, I SEND THEM TO ALLY” — DONALD MILLER NYT BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF BLUE LIKE JAZZ, A MILLION MILES IN A THOUSAND YEARS AND SCARY CLOSE “FOR NEARLY A YEAR, I’D BEEN WRESTLING WITH MY BOOK BEFORE BOOK IN A DAY. IN FREE TIME I’D WRITE IN CIRCLES, TALK WITH FRIENDS, AND GET NOWHERE FAST. A SINGLE DAY WITH ALLY FLIPPED THE SWITCH. HER SAFE AND WISE PRESENCE ALLOWED ME TO OPEN UP AND TRULY BE THE VESSEL. WE MADE CONNECTIONS I DIDN’T MAKE ON MY OWN, AND TEASED THINGS ALL THE WAY OUT. THE FRAMEWORK IS LOGICAL, HER GUIDANCE WAS PERFECT, AND THIS DAY OPENED EVERYTHING UP FOR ME. I’M DEEPLY GRATEFUL AND WOULD RECOMMEND HER TO ANYONE!”- JESS KLEINSCHMIDT
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